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Domestic Violence and Abuse

Letting Go of the Past and Negative Thoughts

It has been said that “as a man thinks – so he becomes.” Yes, we are what we think about. One of the hardest things for me after domestic violence and abuse is learning to renew my mind. I had to learn that just because someone said something to me, that did NOT mean that it was true.  Abusers are excellent manipulators and agents for the Enemy. They plant lie after lie in your head and after hearing something so many times, I started to believe it.


You know the Negative thoughts:

  • You are worthless
  • Nobody would ever want you
  • The kids and I would be better without you
  • You are dumb, fat, ugly, and stupid
  • You never do anything right
  • You mean nothing to me
  • Are you really that stupid?

Can you relate? 

Only reading the Word of God has helped cast down these lies. I needed a new tape, a new mindset. I needed a new truth.

 Praise God –  He is able. He is waiting to meet us and get rid of all the lies. Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy – BUT GOD is exceedingly abundantly willing to give us a new life with new thoughts and life more abundantly. Don’t be deceived any longer my friends.


Those words spoken over you from the Enemy I cast down and turn into dust in Jesus Name!



For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man. 

The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. 

We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, being ready to punish every act of disobedience, when your own obedience [as a church] is complete. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6AMP



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Forgiveness

Forgiveness

-Copyright 2016 Diana Rasmussen-

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Forgiveness doesn’t mean that I accept what you did to me

Forgiveness means I let go of taking vengeance against you

Forgiveness means I trust my God to deal with you because He told me, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”

Forgiveness means I don’t have to think about you or what you did to me

Forgiveness means I am free from your prison of pain

Forgiveness means I can move on and go forward

Forgiveness frees me to be who God made me to be, regardless of what you do or don’t do

Forgiveness gives me the freedom to pray for you

Forgiveness let’s me be me

Forgiveness frees my Father in Heaven to forgive me

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. – Matthew 6:14-15 NIV

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The Sickness That God Delivered You From Might Try to Come Back.

Sickness. Illness. We live in a fallen world with sin and sickness everywhere. But our God delivers. Jesus came to seek and to save the lost and He heals them ALL. Now it might be here, or it might be on the other side, but He heals them ALL.

“Then great multitudes came to Him, having with them the lame, blind, mute, maimed, and many others; and they laid them down at Jesus’ feet, and He healed them.” Matthew 15:30 NKJV

I do not believe for one moment that God gives us sickness.

Did Jesus ever say,” Geez, I see that you are sick, come back tomorrow.” NO!

Did Jesus ever say, ” Man you really messed up, you better go get right with God before you come back here for healing?”  NO!

Did Jesus ever see someone sick and NOT heal them? NO!

I don’t believe for one one moment that God wants to”teach us something” with sickness. That is a lie straight from the Religious Spirit that man has put out there. Not God. He never said that.

God is good and He heals ALL.

” [ Behold, My Servant ] But when Jesus knew it, He withdrew from there. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all.” – Matthew 12:15 NKJV

Do we get sick. Yes. We live in a fallen world. We are living in theses bodies which get run down, stressed out, and sometimes sick. But when that happens there is our opportunity go to God and expect his healing. He promised us. There is no sickness in Heaven. So why do we think we have to be sick here?  Like it’s who we are or something. I am not a label. I am not an illness.  I am not going to talk about how bad I feel all day. We have the Spirit of the Living God in us – what we talk about will come to pass!  No wonder God said to be slow to speak. I refuse to agree with the Enemy of my soul. I have spent way too many years agreeing with the wrong guy.

But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.” – Isaiah 53:5 nkjv

I am tired of the Body Of Christ believing all this stuff. He bore our sickness so we didn’t have to. Do I get sick? Of course I do. I am still human. But I refuse to label myself with this disease or that disease and say “This is me and I am my disease and its who I am.” – and take care of it like it’s a pet. I refuse to feed it. Sickness can shrivel up and die.

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I was home today. I did it not well. About 6 months ago I was hospitalized with ischemic colitis. It was bad – blood, cramps, fever, etc.  The Doctor said I might have this disease and that disease. I said no. My God says I am healed. My husband and kids prayed with me. my Pastors  and their wives came and prayed with me. And we STOOD OUR GROUND. Guess what happened? God healed me. Did I take my medicine- yes. God uses Doctors and Nurses all the time to do His will and heal. Let’s use the help that God gives us and not get all religious about it.

Today, that same sickness tried to come back. I had the same symptoms. I thought.” Great – that same sickness that I had had was trying to come back on me..”  I had the heating  pad on my stomach all day to feel better. I even lost it for a minute and dug out all my hospital paperwork. My first thought was, “Great here we go again.”

Then I got mad. I stood up to that stupid colitis and said, “NO, you are not coming on me again! Get out of here is Jesus Name. I reject you and these demons who brought you to my door. My God healed me and I am standing in that healing.”God is good, Devil is bad. My God heals. He healed me the first time and you are not welcome here.

Stand strong my friends – no matter what the symptoms. Exercise your faith and watch and see what God will do.  This is not the end – only an opportunity to exercise your faith and watch God get the glory in your healing. He promised us healing – either here on earth or in Heaven. And I for one am going to take Him at His WORD!

The Good News? If it has a name it has to bow to Jesus!

And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name,  that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” – Philippians 2:8-11 NKJV

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Related Posts

I See the Scars

I ran into a girl the other day with scars on her arms. My heart dropped. I know what that feels like to have no hope. To take the pain that you are feeling out on yourself. To sit in the bathroom with the door locked  and just sit on the floor rocking back and forth. When we have been through unexplainable trauma that is how we cope.  But I am living proof that it doesn’t have to stay that way.

My life changed when I found a support system of friends and God. Yes, God. Reading the Word bring me hope. It opens my mind to the  fact that there is a God and He cares about me even when others do not.

Don’t give up my friend. There is hope. There is life, a life more abundant than you ever imagined. A life where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more hurt.  Have you met my friend Jesus?  He is faithful. He is true. He is peaceful. He brings hope and healing and protection under the shadow of his wings. And He is waiting for you to call out His name for help today. He stands at the door and knocks.  Will you let Him in?

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.  – REVELATION 3:20 nkjv

 

I See the Scars

Copyright 2016 Diana Rasmussen

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I see the scars upon your arms

My heart skipped a beat as I thought of what I could say

To take away the pain that brought you to that place

How I wish I could change the things that you’ve been through

I’m here today to sit and listen if you choose to share

I remember what it felt like

To be the girl with the scars

jesus-heals

12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

This is in honor for my friend going through a rough time. Stand strong my sister – you can do this. You are worth so much more.

Prayers and Promises

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps…

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God Stays the Same When the World is Falling Apart

It has been a hard week. I have seen newborn babies born and saying in ICU. I have seen a friend have a family member diagnosed with cancer. A friend has her husband hospitalized. A baby went to surgery this week. A teenager attempted suicide. Teens have had anxiety attacks.

There is one thing that gets me through weeks like these. God is faithful. He is still in the healing business. He still sends the Holy Spirit to comfort us. God sees, God knows, and He still answers our prayers. God is faithful, when the world is falling apart.

 

These are the times I trust God to get me through the trial. I am not good at trying to do things on my own. I know I need help. God promised to help us in times like these. Just ask, and He will be there – in the middle of the mess, He promised. Choose to trust Him, He is faithful.

 

 

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23

“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:3 

“I am the Lord that healeth thee.” – Exodus 15:26

” I will give you strength and bless you with peace.” Psalm 29:11

“He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.” – Psalms 91:4

 

The Lord Has Given Us Freedom — Time 2 shine!

Sad, Tired, Unmotivated, Overwhelmed. These are some of the things I felt while going through depression. Feeling like I was doing everything wrong and I couldn’t do anything right. Depression is probably the worst thing I have ever gone through. There were a lot of issues going on in my life and that was like an open door for the enemy to come in […]

via The Lord Has Given Us Freedom — Time 2 shine!

This blog post was written in 2011 by a 7th grader. God bless them Lord!

 

 

 

A Day in the Life-Quotes on Narcissism

A typical conversation with a Narcissist:

I said, “Stop calling me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

He said, “I will but I wanted to tell you how I feel about it.”

I answered, “I don’t care how you feel about it.”

Click. He hangs up the phone.  Two minutes later the texts start. He texts, “why don’t you practice what you preach?” I didn’t bite. I knew he was baiting me. I didn’t respond. They really hate that.

Two minutes later another text. I won’t repeat that one – lots of swear words. Again, I didn’t respond.A minute later the phone rings again. I can’t believe he’s still trying to call. No means no. I don’t answer again. I don’t want to participate in his drama.

I sit back down in my favorite chair. Take a deep breath and start to relax. Them I hear it from down the hall. He calls one of the kids. Great…here we go…

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Quotes on Narcissism

  1. “The sadistic narcissist perceives himself as Godlike, ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and non-sexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict.” ― Sam Vaknin
  2. “Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist’s need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.” ― Donald W. Black, DSM-5 Guidebook: The Essential Companion to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
  3. “Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited
  4. “To focus on how I’m doing more than what Christ has done is Christian narcissism” ― Tullian Tchividjian, Jesus + Nothing = Everything
  5. “The ‘Selfie Stick’ has to top the list for what best defines narcissism in society today.” ― Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe
  6. “There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. It’s always an assistant’s fault, an adviser’s fault, a lawyer’s fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they’ll say, ‘what mistake?” ― Jeffrey Kluger 
  7. “Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” ― Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
  8. “Here lies the partner’s salvation: if you, as his intimate, wish to sever your relationship with the narcissist, stop providing him with what he needs. Do not adore, admire, approve, applaud, or confirm anything he does or says. Disagree with his views belittle him, reduce him to size, compare him to others, tell him he is not unique, criticize him, give unsolicited advice, and offer him help. In short, deprive him of the grandiose and fantastic illusions, which holds his personality together.  The narcissist is a delicately attuned piece of equipment. At the first sign of danger to his inflated False Self, he will quit and disappear on you.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited

 

(Image credits- Pinterest)

Jesus the Wonderful Counselor

There are some things that only God can heal. He knows. He saw what happened. Only He can heal the brokenness in our spirits, soul, and body.  We had a wonderful Bible Study today on Jesus the Wonderful Counselor. The whole body of Christ looked up verses and shared how Jesus is our Counselor. It was beautiful.

I admit, I have been abused physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. There are some stories only God and I know. Yet He is the One who can come into those rooms of my heart. His presence takes out the hurt and replaces it with healing. I don’t want to stay broken. I want to be well and receive all that God has for me. God loves us all enough to heal us. He is able. Today let us welcome Him in.

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(Image Source – Pinterest)

God’s Word for You:

Isaiah 9:6-7 For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given;And the government will be upon His shoulder.And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end, Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom, To order it and establish it with judgment and justice From that time forward, even forever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.

John 14:16-18 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

Proverbs 20:5 – Counsel in the heart of man [is like] deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel, plans go awry,But in the multitude of counselors they are established.

1 Timothy 2:5-7 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time, for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle—I am speaking the truth in Christ and not lying—a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth

Romans 11:33-36 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! “For who has known the mind of the Lord?Or who has become His counselor?” “Or who has first given to Him And it shall be repaid to him?” For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.

1 John 2:27 But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.

John 15:7, 26-27 John 14:16-18, 23
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”

Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”

“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”

Psalm 73:23-26 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

My Prayer for You:

Dear Lord,

You know. You saw what happened. I choose to trust you today – for healing those parts of my heart that only You can. I let go of the abuse. I let go of the hurt and I cling to You Lord. Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal. You are my Wonderful Counselor and your Holy Spirit will heal me from the inside out, in Jesus Name.

 

 

(Featured Image Source – www.treybailey.net )

The Lord is With You Mighty Warrior

We are all fearful at times. Life can be overwhelming some days. But when we are afraid there are promises of God that we can hold on to. 

Prayer for Comfort

Lead us to the Rock that is higher than I Lord. When my heart is overwhelmed I will cry to the Lord and He will hear me.  

Judges 6:12 When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.” 

Lord your ways are higher than mine. You are my Strength and myShield  and my Protection. The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want. You will never leave me nor forsake me Lord. Comfort me Holy Spirit and let me lean on You as we go through this day, in Jesus Name

Ruth 3:11 And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.

  
 

Feelings Shouldn’t Always Be Trusted

Why can’t you trust your feelings? We live in a culture of I want what I want when I want it. And if it feels good do it – right? Well, that may be exactly what is wrong.  Yes, feelings are important. But they change, moment by moment. And feelings may not be based on truth.

I have had a few new followers based on my posts on suicide and cutting. Yes, I have been delivered from these things. Thank you Jesus! But looking back, I realize how much I made my feelings my God. And if my thoughts were wrong – my feelings were wrong – and my actions were destructive.

According to Psychology Today:

For if our thoughts are erroneous, or based on false assumptions, the feelings tied to these thoughts are bound to be equally distorted—and hardly to be trusted.

 

The Fickleness of Feelings

  1. Change over time

  2. Are sometimes unreliable

  3. May be based on old hurts

  4. May betray you

  5. May be based on false information

Now I am not saying we should be robots. But perhaps we should TEST the voices that we hear in our head. They are not all good. They are not all from God. I Know that when I was plagued with destructive thoughts I would replay the bad messages again and again in my head.

“You are no good”

“You deserve to die”

“Your family would be better off without you”

Now today I know that none of these things are true. They were lies from the Enemy of my Soul – the Devil, the Deceiver, and the Father of Lies. Yet in the past when I dwelt on these thoughts I ended up hurting myself.

My thoughts were not based on Truth. I believed the lies. And I was the one who suffered for it.

 

Even Dr. Dobson says our feelings should not always be trusted. According to Dr. Dobson:

We are told in 2 Corinthians 11:14 that the devil comes to us as “an angel of light,” which means he counterfeits the work of the Holy Spirit. This is why he is described in profoundly evil terms in the Bible, leaving little room for doubt as to his motives or nature. His character is presented as wicked, malignant, subtle, deceitful, fierce and cruel. He is depicted as a wolf, roaring lion and a serpent. Among the titles ascribed to Satan are these: “Murderer,” “Dragon,” “Old Serpent,” “Wicked One,” “Liar,” “Prince of Devils,” and more than 20 other names which describe a malicious and incomparably evil nature.

These scriptural descriptions of Satan are written for a purpose: we should recognize that the “Father of Lies” has earned his reputation at the expense of those he has damned! And there is no doubt in my mind that he often uses destructive impressions to implement his evil purposes.

Let us test our thoughts today. Let us take every thought captive. God does not want any of us to perish. I am praying for all my friends here battling destructive thoughts. Get help today. I had to. Just because I had a feeling doesn’t mean that it was true. Once my thoughts changed, my feelings changed, and my actions changed.

 

More Posts on Healing from Destructive Thoughts:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Rant About Keeping My Mouth Shut With the Ex

After this weekend I know the Holy Spirit is helping me, lol! I did NOT say the first thought that came to my head. Now it’s been 11 years since we divorced. And I got full custody of the two kids due to his history of domestic violence. Now you think after all that I would know better. Why do I believe anything that guy says? Ugghhhh.

My son wanted to go visit his dad over the holiday break. Not so easy since the ex took off to KY to hide from the police. There is a warrant out for his arrest in the state of WI for 10 plus years of not paying his child support. Yeah, welcome to my world.

So in my travels here’s a few thoughts going through my head and what I did about it.

  1. Maybe I should just call the cops and have him picked up. He’s guilty.
  2. He says he has no money but shows up in a brand new rental car every time. He still lies.
  3. He promised to give me money for half of the cost of the school ring for my son. Didn’t bring it. Another empty promise. 
  4. He promised my daughter shopping money for Black Friday. Then he takes my son out shopping and gets my daughter nothing. What a jerk. 
  5. He said to meet halfway (4+ hours one way) and then is late – both times. I had to keep driving to meet them.  Disrespectful.
  6. He looks like crap. I wonder if he’s back to using drugs? Not a great role model for the kids.
  7. He wants to do this all over again at Christmas. Are you freaking kidding me?

  

What I actually did say:

1. Yes, I will drive halfway. I know my son wants to see his dad.

2. Oh, running late? I’ll drive a bit further.

3. Nice car.

4. So what about Christmas?

Yeah, I know. I must have rocks in my head right? No, I think God helped me keep my mouth shut and put my son’s wants and needs above my own. My ex will always be his father-no matter what I think or what I feel. I don’t have to like it. I can’t change it. And I can’t change him – never could. 

Thank you Lord for helping me keep my mouth shut and not making a scene in front of my son. Thank you Holy Spirit for guarding my mouth!

  

 

Psalm 141:3 

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. 

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