I heard this verse on the radio this week and it got to me. I didn’t realize I was so close to giving up. The pressures of Covid, the health issues I and my friends have had, etc. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to quit. God didn’t bring us this far to leave us here. I choose to believe His Word, and GET UP!
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. – Galatians 6:7-10
Here are a few more Don’t Give Up Quotes:
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” – 2 Chronicles 15:7
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ – Isaiah 41:10
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jerimiah 29:11
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. – 1 Corinthians 9:24
Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love. – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. – Ephesians 6:10
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ – Philippians 1:6
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7
I am sure you have met one, a person who absolutely did not want to change. You can love them all you want, give them all the tools for personal growth, but they are not interested. You may want the best for someone but they don’t want it for themselves. Life lesson learned – you can’t change someone who does not want to be changed. They simply have no vision. Without vision the people perish. Yep, that’s in the Bible, and it’s true.
I always thought if I loved them enough, they would change. Not always true. I have met some very stubborn people in my life that are happy just where they are. They do not have any desire to change anything. No amount of me pushing or prodding will make one bit of difference. Just because I think there may be more, they are happy to stay right where they are. That’s ok. I think I will stop trying to control them and just let it go!
Talk about freedom, wow! I finally don’t have to have everything figured out. That’s a load off this control freak shoulders, lol! For today, my focus has changed. I am going to let others make their own choices and I’m gonna focus on making my own. I can choose to let it go!
So now I have opened myself up to learning new things, to choosing a higher road. I have been on this path for the last year. First with becoming a Certified Peer Specialist and now with training for becoming a Certified Life Coach. Yes, I have been declared disabled by the Social Security System, but I’ll tell you what, I’m not giving up! I have used this time to refocus and build a vision for my future. You can too! Don’t give up, God is not done writing your story!
I signed up on Udemy for a number of classes. This month I am working on the Life Coach Certificate from Kain Ramsey. I admit it, I am only through the 4th video, and I’m hooked. Wow, I sure wish I would have met this guy sooner! I could have avoided so many detrimental things in my life. Oh well, lesson learned.
“We cannot make people change. We cannot want more for the people than they want for themselves. People are either ready to change, or a person will never change until the desire to change becomes greater than their desire to remain the same. People will generally never have a desire to change until they HAVE A VISION OF THEIR FUTURE that is GREATER then where they are today. ” – Kain Ramsay, internationally bestselling instructor, social entrepreneur
I admit it. I am back in therapy trying to get my body under control. I am seeing a NeuroPsychiatirst. Now that is a mouthful. The Neurologist sent me there for the tremors and seizures I have been having. They call it FND or Functional Neurological Disorder.
I have found there are multiple ways to treat this. First – they send us to psychiatrity if we have ever had any trauma or abuse in your past. I laughed when they asked me that. I mean I could be the poster child for trauma and abuse, lol! The plan is to reprogram my brain with CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Yeah, I had to look that one up.
“Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of talk therapy (psychotherapy). You work with a mental health counselor (psychotherapist or therapist) in a structured way, attending a limited number of sessions. CBT helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking so you can view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way.
CBT can be a very helpful tool ― either alone or in combination with other therapies ― in treating mental health disorders, such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or an eating disorder. But not everyone who benefits from CBT has a mental health condition. CBT can be an effective tool to help anyone learn how to better manage stressful life situations.”
Secondly, there is a place in Kentucky that offers an inpatient program for CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Kind of the same as the first option, but on steroids.
Lastly, I read of a place in Florida where they take Ultrasound waves and the MRI machine and kill the brain cells that cause motor disorders. Unfortunately, cost is $25,000 and they don’t take insurance. Dang.
I guess I’ll stick with door #1. I see the Dr. once every 2 weeks and I have homework. I have been avoiding it. I am learning about triggers and what happens when I have a seizure/tremors. I have been told I have to identify them and then we get to rewrite the script in my brain.
So, what I am stalling on – writing down the negative thoughts that go through my head in a day.
Wow, I had no idea. It’s hard when you have to think about what you are thinking about. Examine the thought – is it true? What is the evidence? It hurts my head just thinking about it. Seriously, you want me to write that down? Ugggh. I hope I don’t crawl into crazy doing it.
I am not a touchy feely girl. I don’t like emotions. Most of the time I just shove them down into a box to deal with later. I am a great compartmentalizer. Shove it in a box, do what you gotta do at the moment, and bury that box deep down so nobody can ever find it. I don’t want to open that box and relive all that pain. Is this really gonna work? Is it worth it?
Hey God, I know you can renew my thoughts as I read your Word and listen and pray to You. Can you just flip the switch up there? It would be so much easier than this homework!
What about you? Have you ever had to do this? Did it work?
Well, here I sit. 55 years old and back in therapy. My Neurologist asked if I had ever experienced any trauma or abuse. I just laughed. Only my whole life, lol. Then I said, “Yes.” He referred me to a Psychiatrist for evaluation. Here is a poem I wrote thinking about things.
CRAWL INTO CRAZY
– Copyright 2019 Diana Rasmussen
I walk through the door and thought all was well
until the Dr came in with that look on his face
He sat down and said, “well it doesn’t look good.”
I froze and prayed God I’m gonna need some grace
My mind is racing all I think is, ” How can I just be free?”
I don’t want to hear what he says
God please make it all go away
before I crawl into crazy
I know this never-ending numbness
it’s when I shut down
I bow my head and pray
to God for a miracle instead
My tears fall to the floor
as I sit and rock like a baby
God show me your grace
before I crawl into crazy
The Dr told me there would be more tests
not sure know how long it will take to find out the cause
I’m googling every symptom I thought I could see
I want to know what is the matter with me
I’m fighting with fear of what it might be
I didn’t ask to be sick, I don’t want to be here
God please make it all go away
before I crawl into crazy
Crazy is the box that whispers her name
gets her to crawl in
only to slam down the lid
Please God help me now
don’t let me crawl into crazy
I prayed and asked God “why, why is this happening to me?”
He stretches out His arm, takes my hand and says, “Just walk with Me.”
He covers me with His mercy and grace as we walk through the door
Have you ever seen a Swordsmith forge a new sword? I love those old Medieval movies that show that. The Swordsmith takes that piece of metal and sticks it in the fire and then folds it over again and again repeating the process many times. The blade is shaped and sharpened by the Swordsmith. He takes it in his hand and sticks it into the fire and then beats on to make it sharper and more beautiful. All the impurities of the metal are burned off in the fire. Then, when it is red hot, the Swordsmith takes the new sword and quenches it in water, all to harden the blade. There is steam everywhere and the sword is born. The sword was forged in the fire.
I looked up the meaning of “forged” (but not like a check, lol):
1. make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it. More synonyms – hammer out, beat into, shape, found, cast, mold, model
2. create (a relationship or new conditions). “the two women forged a close bond” More synonyms: build, build up, construct, form, create, establish, set up, put together
I like swords. They are used in battle. They are beautiful and magnificant. They are sharp – sharper than a knife. The Word of God is like that:
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. – Hebrews 4:12-13 NKJV
In the Bible, God shares that His Word is our Sword and it is used in battle:
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. – Ephesians 6:10-20NKJV
So just like a warrior holds his sword to defeat his enemies, we are to hold the WORD OF GOD as our sword.
It is God’s Word that will defeat the enemies in our lives, not our own swords or our own effort.
What if we spoke to the enemies in our lives – whether sickness, disease, poverty, lack, depression, etc. and spoke the Word of God to them? Would we then see our enemies sliced and diced and dead?
What if it meant going through the fire first?
For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. – Psalm 66″ 10 NKJV
For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is.If anyone’s work which he has built on itendures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. – 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 NKJV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls. – 1 Peter 1: 3-9 NKJV
Would you do it? Like those 3 boys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – would you go in the furnace in order not to bow to the idols or false kings in this world? Remember, Jesus is there with you in that furnace. And you will come out and not even smell like smoke.
It wasn’t until after the boys went through the fire that the king and all of his followers bowed to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…that’s when the revival took place, after the fire. The reviaval and the promotion came AFTER the fire:
Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, who sent His Angel[g] and delivered His servants who trusted in Him, and they have frustrated the king’s word, and yielded their bodies, that they should not serve nor worship any god except their own God! Therefore I make a decree that any people, nation, or language which speaks anything amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made an ash heap; because there is no other God who can deliver like this.” Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in the province of Babylon. – Daniel 3: 28-30NKJV
The Shepherd Savior
“Awake, O sword, against My Shepherd, Against the Man who is My Companion,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Strike the Shepherd, And the sheep will be scattered; Then I will turn My hand against the little ones.
And it shall come to pass in all the land,” Says the Lord, “That two-thirds in it shall be cut off and die, But one-third shall be left in it:
I will bring the one-third through the fire, Will refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them. I will say, ‘This is My people’; And each one will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’ ” – Zechariah 13:7-9 NKJV
There is Power in Praise. God inhabits the praise of His people. The Lord reminds us that when we are feeling down or discouraged or hopeless, we do have a rememdy. We can CHOOSE to put on the Garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
For me, this means that no matter how I feel, I put on my praise. God is more than able to shake off illness, sickneess, discouragement, and depression. When I praise Him – He goes to work and defeats my enemies!
Remember the Israelites? When they s came to the promised land God gave them they marched Jerico around 7 days. 7 days without saying a word. Just march around the city. They saw those walls, they heard the people laughing at them and mocking them I am sure. They didn’t fight back. They just did what God told them. And then, on the 7th day:
“So the people shouted when the priests blew the trumpets. And it happened when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat. Then the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city.”- Joshua 6:20
By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days. – Hebrews 11:30
Today, I speak to the mountains of depression, cancer, illness, lack and command them to fall down. Like my husband reminded us today, “If it didn’t want to bow, it shouldn’t have given us a name – because now it has to bow!” We know a NAME that is above ALL NAMES – JESUS!
“For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. “- Mark 11:23-24
“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24
If you need some tunes, here are the newest ones our Church, Janesville Apostolic Ministry are going to learn! Come on, crank it up and put on some PRAISE!
It was a normal Saturday. Our teens were out doing their thing as my husband and I focused on house stuff – well and Netflix too. A great relaxing day. Then I texted one of my kids. Just checking in, mom stuff – you know. No answer. I brushed it off, no big deal.
Four hours later, I texted again. Still no answer. Another hour later – still no answer. That’s it – that was all my imagination needed to get off to the races. My anxiety started to rise. My heartbeat increased. My mind was going a thousand miles an hour.
What it they were kidnapped?
What if someone did something to them?
What if they are hurt and can’t call me?
What if they don’t want to talk to me?
What if they got a ticket and are in jail?
What if they are dead somewhere on the side of the road and can’t call?
Yeah, you know.
“Mom-xiety – when you don’t know what is going on and you panic.” – Diana Rasmussen
I busied myself most of the day. Then went to try to go to sleep. Texted again, still no answer. Well that was it – I was off to the races again. I couldn’t fall asleep. The pictures in my mind kept getting worse and worse.
Why do we always think the worst?
I was up every 2 hours last night, checking my phone. Not wanting to make a big deal, I didn’t call them or their friends. I thought about it though.
I could have hunted them down like an animal. I could have gotten in my car and went and made a fool of myself, I didn’t. I stayed home and worried. Yeah I prayed – “God you take care of them, so I don’t kill them for not getting back to me.”
I woke up early Sunday morning, 5:00 am. By 5:30 am I couldn’t take it anymore. I texted their friend. Still no answer. I was pacing the floor by this point. This Mom-xiety is awful! I hate that feeling of being out of control and not knowing what is going on. That’s the truth.
It was about 7 when I got a text from my child. All was well. They had gone boating and had not brought their phone. I didn’t know wheter to laugh or cry from releif! I didn’t lose it and bite their head off. They were out living life and having fun, and being responsible. I was the nutcase yesterday.
Some days I have it together, and other days I just lose it. I wish I wasn’t so up and down. Anxiety sucks. Yeah, I take meds. Yeah, I pray. But when your heart is pounding out of your chest and your brian is a tornado and you can’t breath – then what?
Do I have faith. Yes I do. Somedays, I guess I just forget to use it.
It has been said that “as a man thinks – so he becomes.” Yes, we are what we think about. One of the hardest things for me after domestic violence and abuse is learning to renew my mind. I had to learn that just because someone said something to me, that did NOT mean that it was true. Abusers are excellent manipulators and agents for the Enemy. They plant lie after lie in your head and after hearing something so many times, I started to believe it.
You know the Negative thoughts:
You are worthless
Nobody would ever want you
The kids and I would be better without you
You are dumb, fat, ugly, and stupid
You never do anything right
You mean nothing to me
Are you really that stupid?
Can you relate?
Only reading the Word of God has helped cast down these lies. I needed a new tape, a new mindset. I needed a new truth.
Praise God – He is able. He is waiting to meet us and get rid of all the lies. Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy – BUT GOD is exceedingly abundantly willing to give us a new life with new thoughts and life more abundantly. Don’t be deceived any longer my friends.
Those words spoken over you from the Enemy I cast down and turn into dust in Jesus Name!
For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man.
The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, being ready to punish every act of disobedience, when your own obedience [as a church] is complete. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6AMP
Your worship is sacred and pleasing to God. Whether you are singing in your car to the radio, praising and thanking God, or worshipping with others – your worship ushers people into the presence of God. It’s like He just shows up and does stuff.
We are not saved for ourselves.
God wants His love to spill over onto others you meet everyday.
There’s that mom who is trying to make it on her own after her husband left. There is the elderly woman who feels so alone at night. There is the man who just lost his job and doesn’t know how to tell his family. There is the couple who smile on the outside but are one step away from divorce court. And the young teenage girl who hurts herself to stop the pain. These are people you meet everyday. They are hurting. They don’t know why or how to fix it.
We as Christians carry the Word of the Living God in us. Christ in us – the HOPE of Glory. Yet often we hole ourselves up in our buildings, go to our ‘church’ functions, and don’t reach out to the lost. I did this for years. It’s really easy to hide from the world when you busy yourself with function upon function. I learned the lingo, wore what I ‘should’, and followed the rules – for a bit.
Then the hurt squeezed out.
Have you ever tried to stuff a pillow in a box? No matter how hard you try some of it spills over. You can get it almost all in and then the corner pops out. That’s what it’s like to just ‘go’ and play church. I am speaking to myself first. After a while I took a break. Just like I took a break from my biker days, and my preppie days, and my academic days. I was looking for acceptance and love in all the wrong places. The sad part is, so were all the other people going to church. Only we were afraid to tell each other because we didn’t want other people to know how messed up we really are.
The funny thing is though, God already knows.
He brings all of his kiddos to a place to be healed and loved and sheltered from the world.
Worship is a place where God can show us what real love looks like.
Yes it happens at church, but it also happens every time a believer ushers in His presence. God is with us – Emmanuel. He shows up whenever we praise and worship him. He is with you in the car. He is with you at the job. He is with you in your home. He shows up when we pray. He is there when you go outside for a walk. He shows up when we pray with others – they feel His love and presence. God isn’t confined to a building. He is not confined to a Denomination. Anytime or anyplace we worship Him, His love spills out onto others -just like that pillow!
Source: valeriesjodin.com
Thank Goodness God squeezes out of the box we try to put Him in!
I wish I was more transparent in real life. I can here in blog land, I just type what’s on my heart. I am still learning to share in real life. Feelings are so messy. Some days I am just a blubbering idiot I think. I have a few friends I reach out to, and for that I am grateful. I gave up ‘playing church’. I gave myself permission these days to be me, flaws and all. I gave myself permission to be free from other people’s opinions of who they think I am. Today God gets to tell me that. Our identity is hidden in Christ – I think it’s way safer there than anywhere else.
I have struggles everyday. I beat myself up for all the things ‘good little christian girls’ shouldn’t do. But then, as I learned today, God welcomes me in His house anyway. He meets me where I am and loves me through it all. As I confess my faults to God and to others I trust, He forgives me and grants me grace to get up and keep living.
His Word gives me hope – I have to read it – or die. I have been hospitalized for depression. I have tried multiple times to hurt myself. I have given up more times than I can count. I have given up on people, I have given up on myself, and I have given up on love. But the thing I learned today –
God never gave up on me. And He has not given up on you either.
God is for us and with us. He forgives us and loves us. He doesn’t want us to be ‘perfect’ – let it go. Just be you. He made you and He loves you anyway!
Do not let your heart faint, do not be afraid, and do not tremble or be terrified because of them; for the Lord your God is He who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’ – Deut 20:14 NKJV
And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.But I said to you that you have seen Me and yet do not believe.All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out. – John 6:35-37 NKJV
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:8 NKJV
Busy, busy, busy. That describes most of us. School,work, sports, music, family, church, etc. We are overburdened with obligations. Whether you are an adult or a child committing to multiple things at the same time takes its toll on our peace of mind. We as a people are overworked, over committed, and over stressed.
Yet why do we do this?
What good does it do?
This past year I found myself getting sick again. I was overcommitted. I was trying to do too much with too little time. It affected my family as well. My kids started having issues with depression and anxiety. They picked up on mine. I had to make a choice to change. I had to trust God to lead me with what I could hold on to and what I had to let go of. I had to choose to trust Him with the rest. Let go and let God right?
I cut back on a number of things I was doing this year. I stopped recording every song I wrote. I gave myself permission to rest. I stopped going to every function I was invited to. I chose which times I could say “yes” and which times I could say “no.” I let myself say NO. That is huge for me. I was such a people pleaser for so many years. Thank you Lord for delivering me from that!
I am more grateful now. I am more thankful now. It was worth it. My family and I have more time together. We may not go out every night, but we have simple times together. A trip to Dunkin Donuts for coffee for my daughter or a trip to McDonalds for hash browns for my son. A grill and Netflix night with my husband is our date night. A visit with my older girls every two weeks and my granddaughter has brought me such joy. My life is much simpler now. Thank you Lord for REST!
God’s Word for You:
Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest: that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid, and the stranger, may be refreshed. – Exodus 23:12 KJV
Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” – Mark 6:31 NIV
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. – Matthew 11: 28-29 NIV
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.And the peace of God ,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:4-7 NIV
(Image source – healthywomen.org)
My Prayer for You:
Dear Lord,
Show us which things to hang on to and which things to let go of. We want to enter the rest of the Lord. Let us lay down our people pleasing selves and accept the newness of life you died to give us. Let us rejoice in peace that surpasses all understanding, in Jesus name.
I said, “Stop calling me. I don’t want to talk about it.”
He said, “I will but I wanted to tell you how I feel about it.”
I answered, “I don’t care how you feel about it.”
Click. He hangs up the phone. Two minutes later the texts start. He texts, “why don’t you practice what you preach?” I didn’t bite. I knew he was baiting me. I didn’t respond. They really hate that.
Two minutes later another text. I won’t repeat that one – lots of swear words. Again, I didn’t respond.A minute later the phone rings again. I can’t believe he’s still trying to call. No means no. I don’t answer again. I don’t want to participate in his drama.
I sit back down in my favorite chair. Take a deep breath and start to relax. Them I hear it from down the hall. He calls one of the kids. Great…here we go…
Quotes on Narcissism
“The sadistic narcissist perceives himself as Godlike, ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and non-sexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict.” ― Sam Vaknin
“Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist’s need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.” ― Donald W. Black, DSM-5 Guidebook: The Essential Companion to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
“Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited
“To focus on how I’m doing more than what Christ has done is Christian narcissism” ― Tullian Tchividjian, Jesus + Nothing = Everything
“The ‘Selfie Stick’ has to top the list for what best defines narcissism in society today.” ― Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe
“There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. It’s always an assistant’s fault, an adviser’s fault, a lawyer’s fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they’ll say, ‘what mistake?” ― Jeffrey Kluger
“Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” ― Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
“Here lies the partner’s salvation: if you, as his intimate, wish to sever your relationship with the narcissist, stop providing him with what he needs. Do not adore, admire, approve, applaud, or confirm anything he does or says. Disagree with his views belittle him, reduce him to size, compare him to others, tell him he is not unique, criticize him, give unsolicited advice, and offer him help. In short, deprive him of the grandiose and fantastic illusions, which holds his personality together. The narcissist is a delicately attuned piece of equipment. At the first sign of danger to his inflated False Self, he will quit and disappear on you.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited
There are some things that only God can heal. He knows. He saw what happened. Only He can heal the brokenness in our spirits, soul, and body. We had a wonderful Bible Study today on Jesus the Wonderful Counselor. The whole body of Christ looked up verses and shared how Jesus is our Counselor. It was beautiful.
I admit, I have been abused physically, mentally, financially, and emotionally. There are some stories only God and I know. Yet He is the One who can come into those rooms of my heart. His presence takes out the hurt and replaces it with healing. I don’t want to stay broken. I want to be well and receive all that God has for me. God loves us all enough to heal us. He is able. Today let us welcome Him in.
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God’s Word for You:
Isaiah 9:6-7 For unto us a Child is born, Unto us a Son is given;And the government will be upon His shoulder.And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His government and peace there will be no end, Upon the throne of David and over His kingdom, To order it and establish it with judgment and justice From that time forward, even forever. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will perform this.
John 14:16-18 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
Proverbs 20:5 – Counsel in the heart of man [is like] deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.
Proverbs 15:22 Without counsel, plans go awry,But in the multitude of counselors they are established.
1 Timothy 2:5-7 For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, to be testified in due time, for which I was appointed a preacher and an apostle—I am speaking the truth in Christ and not lying—a teacher of the Gentiles in faith and truth
Romans 11:33-36 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out! “For who has known the mind of the Lord?Or who has become His counselor?” “Or who has first given to Him And it shall be repaid to him?” For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.
1 John 2:27 But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will abide in Him.
John 15:7, 26-27 John 14:16-18, 23
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”
“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.”
Psalm 73:23-26 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with Your counsel, And afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
My Prayer for You:
Dear Lord,
You know. You saw what happened. I choose to trust you today – for healing those parts of my heart that only You can. I let go of the abuse. I let go of the hurt and I cling to You Lord. Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can’t heal. You are my Wonderful Counselor and your Holy Spirit will heal me from the inside out, in Jesus Name.
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answer. Well that was it – I was off to the races again. I couldn’t fall asleep. The pictures in my mind kept getting worse and worse.
I have struggles everyday. I beat myself up for all the things ‘good little christian girls’ shouldn’t do. But then, as I learned today, God welcomes me in His house anyway. He meets me where I am and loves me through it all. As I confess my faults to God and to others I trust, He forgives me and grants me grace to get up and keep living.
