Category: Hurt in Church

Bullying, Hurt in Church, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Stop Shaming Me – It’s Not Helping

Yes, we are all well meaning Christians. But sometimes, in an effort to ‘help’ we make things worse for our brothers and sisters who are struggling. Let’s face it, we all have stuff. Every single one of us, even the Pastors, even the Worship Team.

This past week I have been going off some medication in an effort to get rid of a constant ringing in my ears. So I know I am more sensitive in all areas. The medicine was to help with anxiety and depression. So yeah, kinda a mess at the moment.  So, here is my rant…

I will speak for myself here as to not share any names.

I get frustrated when others use me (or others) as an example in public. It might be a ‘friend” who just can’t stop the gossiping after I share something in confidence with them. They thought others should know so they could pray for them. Yeah right – they just wanted to gossip. It might be a Pastor who shares a person struggle from the Pulpit  without asking them for permission and now everyone knows.  It might be the random post from FB or Twitter or whatever to bring attention to a another person’s struggles, because they think they are trying to help. Can I tell you  – stuff like this is NOT helping!

I  have shared private information with people in the past, and they chose to make it public by naming me as “that girl with depression.” Yeah, thanks. Like I really wanted an announcement so now everyone can look at me and give me that label. Thanks. You just heaped a pile of more shame on something I am trying to get deliverance from.

I have had Pastors label me as the ‘divorced girl’ when they are teaching classes on how to have a good marriage. Thanks. Failed again I guess. Yeah, I’m the one coming to church, he is the one who cheated, and now I am the ‘divorced girl.’ Great.  Do you think I asked for this? Do you really think I wanted that label? Thanks again for naming me from the Pulpit so now everyone can call me that. I got up and walked out of that class, and out of that church.

I battle with smoking. I have quit 3 times in my life. I have tried Chantix – made me even more crazy. Tried the patch, tried the gum, tried the lozenges. Do you really think I want to keep doing this? When you see me smoking and make a public post about it – do you think that helps me? Your judgement just made me feel even more unworthy to be here.  Now I am even more shamed. Thanks alot. Like I really need more on my plate. Sorry I don’t live up to your expectations of what a ‘perfect Christitan’ looks like. I never said I was perfect. I come to Church to get free of alot of things. I am here to get better. I don’t need your judgement. Stop shaming me – it’s not helping.

judge

Maybe instead of making me (or others) your scapegoat you could stop making my life your podium to condemn me. In the Old Testament they used to take the scapegoats out of the camp and kill them. Guess what – you just tried, and I’m still here.

Yes, I’m riled up today. I get upset when people try to be my (or others) Holy Spirit. It’s not their job. I am seeking God. I am praying, I am reading my Bible, I have fasted. Seriously, if you are that concerned about me, maybe praying for me would help more than your condemnation of me.

Enough already. Life is hard enough without getting beat up at a place where I come to get healed. Lord, help us all.

knife

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Hurt in Church, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Just Because I Am a Christian Doesn’t Mean I Am Buying Your Bullshit

I don’t believe everything I hear these days. Maybe that’s the wisdom that comes with getting older. I used to believe everything anyone ever said. I was so naive. Really. 

My heart is sad today. I went to visit another church and found out the old Worship Leader and band had left. Another Church had offered them more money for their service. Why is our worship for sale?

  
And then the girl who came to church playing the ‘victim’. Months later to realize she had told the same lie to 3 other Church families. We gave, she took, and when confronted with Truth, she left. Why is our compassion taken advantage of?

And the woman who came looking for money. We gave and she left. There is so much more available here. How about healing? Why not stay for the real Living Water? Jesus can heal those wounds and give you things money could never buy.

And those in the Church who have money, yet treat those who don’t have money as if they have lesser value to God. In Christ we are all the same. We are all equal. We were CREATED EQUAL, by God. Money doesn’t matter. The widow and the fatherless are just as important as the millionaire. 

My heart hurts, for all those who see people through dollar signs. 

For those who have money and those who don’t. 

For those who think money can buy people and then they ‘own’ them. They think they can order people around because their wallet may be fatter that particular day. 

People are worth so much more than money.

  
Money is made of paper! It will burn up in the End Times anyway. And all those funds will be gone in a day when the Internet crashes. Really. 

Now I understand why Jesus tipped over those tables. 

The Kingdom of Heaven is not for sale. 

The Blood of Jesus cannot ever be bought.

Help us Lord – to value people, not things or money, in Jesus Name 

 

(Image sources- JHM.org, Pinterest)

Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Plagiarism is Stealing

What a Sheep Thinks When You Plagiarize Another Pastor’s Sermon

(Yes, my rant about how a ‘sheep’ feels when a Pastor takes credit for another Pastor’s sermon.)

When I wrote this blog last night I was angry. Today I am sad. I can’t believe there are those who ‘peddle’ God’s Word. And God says there are many who do this. We talked about ‘faith healers’ yesterday and how some Preachers will walk into the anointing from other people’s prayers and perform miracles. Then they ‘steal’ the credit and say they did it. God is the healer, and it is He who does the works. And then there are Pastors who will preach another Pastors words without giving them credit. They preach it as if they wrote it. It’s like a play or performance then. Just reading the lines. I found this about those who ‘peddle’ God’s Word for profit, for gain, and for applause:

 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things?  For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:14-17 NKJV)

From Naiarland Forum

2 Corinthians 2:17.

The English word “peddle” is the Greek word, “kapēleuō” and from the root word, kapelos which means a huckster. By definition in English, it means to be a retailer, to make money by selling anything. It means to get sordid gain by dealing in anything, to do a thing for base gain. It means to trade in the word of God for money or personal gain. It means to try to get base gain by corrupting and adulterating divine truth. A peddlers were in the habit of adulterating their commodities for the sake of gain and all these rings a bell in our days.

Apostle Paul outrightly made it clear that those who peddle the word of God for profit are so many. This we cannot overlook in our days with the end time churches. The question then goes, who are these people that peddle the word of God for profit and how do we recognize them?

 

There is a simple solution. If you find a sermon online – give credit to the Pastor who wrote it. As a Worship Leader our band sings songs that other Musicians wrote. We belong to CCLI and we report the songs we sing. As a Worship Leader we don’t take credit for the songs we sing – we acknowledge that we did not write them and give credit where credit is due. This way the Writer of the song gets credit for us singing their song. It is the honest and lawful thing to do. And it speaks to our integrity. As bloggers we are careful to cite our sources for words and images. It’s about honesty.

Here Are My Thoughts on What a Sheep Feels When a Pastor Plagiarizes Another Pastors Sermon:

sheep

  1. You are not talking to God. I want to hear what God has told you this week. What are His thoughts?
  2. You don’t care about the sheep. We don’t matter. If we did you would feed us. We are hungry. We are thirsty. And You have chosen to be the Shepherd of this flock.
  3. You are only interested in the applause or the microphone.
  4. If you steal another Pastor’s words what will you steal from me?
  5. I trusted you to pray for me and bring me before the Father. You broke that trust when I can find your words on Google and some other Pastor wrote it. You didn’t give him the credit. He did the work. You preached it as if it were your words. You are stealing.
  6. It wasn’t the Word God gave you for this body. That sermon was for another Pastor and his church.
  7. If you don’t credit the original Author, what else are you stealing credit for? It is dishonest and makes me question whether I can trust you.
  8. I must not matter to you as a sheep because you are too busy or too lazy to care what God wants to say to me and this part of the body. I trusted you to talk and pray to God for all of this body. God brought us here. I thought you cared.
  9. Pastors have been fired for plagiarism. It is dishonest. It is wrong. If you don’t want to do the work then don’t take the job. (Guess I am a little angry. Help me Lord.)
  10. It makes me question whether God cares about me or not. You are His mouthpiece, and you have nothing to say except someone else’s words?

 

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(Image Sources: http://pulpitplagiarism.blogspot.com/2012/11/charlotte-nc-pastor-resigns-over.html  and  Pinterest)

Healing, Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Have You Been Considered?

Have you been considered? By God? Remember Job? Remember Joseph? Are you going through a test right now? I am. I believe that this is a test, it is is only a test. God is more than able to meet all of my needs in Christ Jesus. He knows what I need even before I ask. I have asked and I will receive. I know I am in my season of testing like Job. He was doing everything right. God even bragged on him to Satan.

I sit in the ashes with Job today. In the past three years I have lost my job, we have lost our house, we have lost loved ones, we have lost animals, even the van died. We used the last of our gas to get to Church yesterday. My husband has 12, yes 12 jobs now, that he has done and is waiting for payment on from various IT Buyers. All have been delayed. Have you been there? I know I am not alone here…

You find out who you are in the valley. And you find out who your friends are and who they are not. Some people will pray for you and some will laugh at you. We have had the ‘naysayers’ tell us that we are creating our own problems and it is all our fault. We have had ‘Christians’ brag about how much money they have and shame us for not coming to events that cost money. They have no idea the valley that we walk through as they point fingers. I have leaned much here in the valley. And yet, I know God is still good, and our ending will be better than our beginning. He promised!

“And though your beginning was small, yet your latter end would greatly increase.” (Job 8:7 AMP)

 

It is times like this that I remember the Word. And I cling to the promises that God has given us all. He is with us. He knows. And the gold we receive will be well worth the wait.

 

But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous]. My foot has held fast to His steps; His ways have I kept and not turned aside. (Job 23:10-11 AMP)

 Then Job arose and rent his robe and shaved his head and fell down upon the ground and worshiped And said, Naked (without possessions) came I [into this world] from my mother’s womb, and naked (without possessions) shall I depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed (praised and magnified in worship) be the name of the Lord! In all this Job sinned not nor charged God foolishly. (Job 1:20-22 AMP)

This morning I remembered Pastor Barnett and his sermon on “Have you been Considered?”

 

 

Sermon Notes:

 

It is great to be called by God, and then it is great to become obedient. and then God rewards you by touching the seeds that you plant, watering your seeds with your faith, and your trust and your belief in God and how you are reaping a harvest.

When God calls you He never leaves you nor forsakes you.

Denominations has nothing to do with the Body of Christ. That’s only something that the Devil uses to divide us. It’s all about the Name of Jesus.

The thing about Job is that he was a man that loved God. When we left the Devil’s Team and joined God’s Team, we are saying that we love God. Job loved God so much that God bragged on him.

Satan came up, God asked Satan, “Where you been?” God said, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is none like him in all the Earth.” We want God to put our name in the place of Job. Satan is still walking to and fro the Earth. Satan is still trying to kill, steal, and destroy. He is still on the job 24/7.

God brags on, “Job hates evil and He loves me more than anything.”

We could put our name in there, “______Loves me more than Desperate Housewives, more than Grey’s Anatomy, more than shoes…”

Satan says,”Yeah, I have seen Job, but because you have a hedge of protection I can’t get to him. He don’t love you like that just for nothing.” Satan says,”He loves like that because of all you give him, because of all the things You have blessed him with. Job is rich.”

God says, “To prove it to you Satan, I will take down my hedge.”

God will ALLOW it. God did not cause it, he allowed it. (We have the ability through prayer to change things for our brothers and sisters. A prayer from a friend will avail much. Prayer changes things.)

God says, ” Ok, I’ll allow you to touch Job’s stuff. The things I have given to Job I will allow you to have power over those things, but just don’t touch him.” Isn’t it great to know that God creates ALL things. No matter how much Satan wants to rule or tries to be a big man on campus’ he can’t do nothing unless God allows it.

Job gets bad news. A lot of times when we go through things It’s just a test. Not for God, but for us to know where we are in God. We don’t know how we will react until something comes up. Let a fire come and take everything that we have. Let a loved one get sick and bring them to being bedridden, Let something happen where you have no control over it, and then will you say, “God is good” ?

It ain’t nothing but a test.

Job’s children died, animals got taken away, some of his household died. But through all of that he still praised God. For the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

I will not put on you more than you can bear God says. We may go through pain and agony, God knows how much you can take and how much they can take. Sometimes with the loss of a loved one we can remember that they belong to God before they belong to us. God knows.

Job still prays, “God nonetheless.”

In the test we may ask, “Lord why me?”

And the Lord turns around and says, “Why not you? You say you’re my servant.  You say that you love me, You said that any way I want to use you I can use you. You say that you want to be a light for the world. You say that you said you want to save souls. You said that you want to keep people from going to Hell. You said you want everybody that you know to go to Heaven. You said these things.

“Why not you?”

 

 

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(Images from Pinterest)

Hurt in Church, Spirituality, Word from the Lord

He is Worthy – Word from the Lord

Here is the Word that was shared with our congregation from the Lord. This one really hit me. You see, ever since I came to church I have been learning all sorts of things that focused on how to make me ‘good enough’ for God. You know – you gotta ‘get right with God – right?’ I have heard that I needed to wear certain things, do things, don’t do things, you know. Yeah. Been there, done that?  And I spend ALL my time focusing on ME and what I should and shouldn’t do to be the ‘Good Little Christian’ girl. I tried following the ‘law of men’ and it was not freedom at all. It was church bondage.

Can I tell you that didn’t work? All that happened was that I got more frustrated and angry. I could never do or be good enough. I came to church looking for healing and found out that I waseven more screwed up than you thought.  Yeah – that’s what the Pastor said as he laughed in my face.  I didn’t read my bible enough, I didn’t go to every church function, I didn’t pray enough, I didn’t say the right thing. I didn’t do the right thing. And (oh no – the biggie) I colored my hair and wore makeup and jewelry, and I even smoked and drank. I was already going through a divorce. My kids wouldn’t go to church with me because all of a sudden mom told them they had to change their clothes too and not do this, and not do that – or God wouldn’t like them. Yeah, really. But I came to church, I sought counseling and I was honest about it. I wanted to change, I just didn’t know how.

Eventually, after getting ‘sat down’ from playing music  for the third time because I didn’t follow the little rules – I quit. And there was an accusation that I had a relationship with someone. Oh no – really – after a year of not dating? I was confronted and shamed. Yes, I did finally see someone after a year. (You little sinner you – yeah, guess so.) That’s kinda why I was there right? I already knew that.But there are always those who point fingers and accuse isn’t there?  That was not love. That was rocks.  I walked away. I couldn’t do it anymore.  My kids wouldn’t go to church with me because all of a sudden mom told them they had to change their clothes too and do this/don’t do that- or God wouldn’t like them. Yeah, really. So I walked out – of bondage – and into freedom.

That’s when things changed. God says “All have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God.” Yep – me too.  

growth

And I could focus my life on what I am doing wrong

or

I could focus my life on what God is doing right.

It really is true – you become what you look at.  If I look at Jesus – I reflect Him. If I look at me and my shortcomings or others and their shortcomings – I reflect that.

Here is the WORD that was released at our church 2 weeks ago – it’s what touched my heart and helped me to refocus. No selfies here – I just want to look at Him.  This Word from the Lord reminded me that it not about how worthy I am – it’s all about how worthy He is! Man, I have so much more to learn – thank you Lord – for your love and leading. I am glad that the Lord continues to share His Word and His Truth with us.

I am for you RAISED
I am the Lord Your God
To those with cancer – I will serve thee
but before I send the best Fighter I told them to send the best Worshippers
because I AM worthy to be praised
Praising me will break down the walls in your life
I only ask one thing from you – I ask you to lay your life down for me
I ask you to get uncomfortable for me
I AM worthy to be praised
step out of your comfort zone
raise your hand  – for me
I raised two for you
I AM worthy to be praised
My children I love you
I have plans for you
I made you to praise me –  because I AM worthy to be praised
I am the Healer, I am your Comforter and you are my children
I AM WORTHY TO BE PRAISED
Here me today children
I AM WORTHY TO BE PRAISED
Remember what I know
I AM WORTHY TO BE PRAISED
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Hurt in Church, Music, Spirituality, Videos

12 Distractions in Praise and Worship

My husband and I are blessed and privileged to lead the worship team at our local church. I am humbled how God can and does meet us where we are at. And how God can overcome our inadequacies.  Pastor Jeff Hanson taught an amazing lesson on how God doesn’t make mistakes.  How all things work together for good, and how some things just happen so God can get the glory. I’ll put the link up when it’s ready.

From: blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com
From: blueeyedennis-siempre.blogspot.com

About a year or so ago our Church bought an iPad to record the sermons and worship to share with the world.  It has been an amazing outreach and God has blessed it. We have been recording the Worship service and the Sermon as separate videos. The sermons are on Vimeo. We have not put up the Praise and Worship Service yet. And right now I don’t think we can. Recently I have been watching the Worship Service Videos  and noticing a few things.  It makes me so sad. I weep over it.

Can I tell you that not everyone who comes to church wants to worship God? Really. There are some who just want to make noise and distract the true worshipers. I have seen it – on the video.

I have been honored to be a part of Christian Praise & Worship for over 10 years now. I have served at 4 different churches during that time. 3 of the four churches have chosen to broadcast video. It has been my experience that every church that chooses to share the Word with a larger audience will have these same challenges.But it breaks my heart.

 

 12 Distractions During Praise and a Worship Service

1. People talking so loudly while we are worshiping God. Or people will be overly vocal to distract you from an intimate conversation with God.

2. People walking right in front of camera and making funny gestures while you are recording a service. We are recording this to bless others, not to give you a stage for your inappropriate behavior. Grow up – it’s not about you.

3. People walking up to you or someone else and interrupting your worship of God. For me, my worship is intimate. I pour my heart out before my God with my fellow brothers and sisters. I don’t want to hear about your personal things right now – I am talking to God. Please wait until later to tell me whatever you think is so important.

4. Busy bodies going from person to person getting them to talk about whatever. There are those who go from person to person during a worship service and just get them talking to take the focus off God. Just watch. You will see it. All when we are supposed to be talking to God.

5 People who get up and leave when the presence of God is present. This breaks my heart.  He came to meet us here, and they just walk out. I pray they meet Him in the parking lot and He floods them with love and healing.

6. People who run into camera to distract others. It’s on the tape. Really.

7. People who stand in front of camera to distract others. Some will pace back and forth right in front of the camera just to be seen.

8. People who walk up to those who are worshiping God at the alter of His Presence and start talking to them about whatever. They walk right up to the Alter of Grace and Mercy  and interrupt other people’s prayer and conversation with God.

9. Singers who get so caught up in the music and push so hard they go flat. Musicians who play every note – loud.  None of us is perfect. We do the best with what we have. But can we get rid of the ego? None of us should sing every note. None of us should play every note. This is not a performance. It’s worship. We are a team and we should take turns. Let others lead, follow sometimes. Again, it’s not all about you. The best leaders are those who know how to follow.

10. There are people who will run the computer in back and not keep up with the words so the congregation gets lost. Or they will put up the wrong song.  Anything to bring confusion and chaos. Some people  will mess with the sound board to mess things up. Really. It has happened everywhere I have been.

11. Some people will talk all during the Worship Service and they position themselves right by the camera. I wonder if they realize that every idle word they are saying is being recorded?

12. Disrespect is disrespect. Whether it is to me, to our worship team, or to God. God knows. God sees. God hears. And you aren’t stopping me or our team from worshiping the King of Kings. I love my Lord and I will lavish my love on Him, whether others choose to or not. I am not better than you. But I am not worse either. I am a fellow sister in Christ. And just like you, I need this time to talk to God. So please – shut up for a minute ok?

 

P.S. I think the camera will be off during worship now. No more stage for the enemy. No more microphone. I will not magnify that. I rebuke it, in Jesus Name. Let the Lord be magnified, in Jesus Name.

 

 

Healing, Hurt in Church

The Know it Alls Need to Shut Up

Can I tell you I don’t have it all figured out yet? Can I tell you I am still learning? And maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to enter some people’s drama.  Is that bad? Idk. Guess I’m just spunky today…

 

Have you ever met a Know it All? Someone who just loves to get in your face and tell you what you need to do with your life.  Lots of time they use the Spirit of Religion to do it too. Yeah, you better do this or do that or you won’t get into Heaven. Like they are Jesus or something. I think they believe they are the ones holding the keys to the gates and they get to decide who gets in. We have it all wrong in their eyes, and they are the only ones who have it right. So you better sit down and take notes or something.

 

I used to be a people pleaser.  I used to go to every single event at Church. All so people would see that I was committed to God, that I cared, and that I mattered. I did it for the wrong reasons.  And I trusted everyone with everything.  Not the wisest idea. Can I say that there are some very sick people who go to church – I know I was one of them! I learned with experience who I can trust and who likes to gossip.  Who builds people up and who tears them down. All by keeping my mouth shut and watching and asking God for direction.  Test the spirits right?

 

 

Today I give myself permission not to attend every event,and  not to trust every single person who walks through the door – even if they have the ‘title” thing going on. I will not be ashamed either.  It is my choice.  You can’t shame me into going, or doing – guilt is not a motivator, just as fear is not a motivator.  Just because someone has a ‘title’ doesn’t mean they are trustworthy. Lots of people like to abuse power.

 

I am so weary of the ‘know-it-alls’ who pretend to have everything all figured out. Their pride and arrogance is annoying.  And their need to be right ALL of the time.  Know what I want to tell them? “Don’t take yourself so seriously!” and “I  don’t really care if you think you are always right and we are always wrong. It’s not a contest.”

 

I know a guy who will interrupt Bible Study, interrupt Worship,  interrupt the Sermon, etc.  It gets annoying.  Like he is Mr. Know-it-All.  Yes, he has been told to shut up. But what do you do when they don’t listen?  I won’t even go to midweek service – I tried once and confronted him on his attitude. Know what he did? Stormed out like a little girl. Yeah. A two year old temper tantrum in a 50 year old man.  All because I said I did not agree with him.  I really don’t need any more drama, I have teenagers, lol!

 

What do you do when you don’t agree with someone?

Do you keep quiet?

Do you say something?

How do you handle the Know-it-alls?

 

I know it is because of his insecurity. Feels like he has to prove himself and his beliefs to everyone he meets.  Maybe I’m just a troublemaker, idk.  I mean, after service he makes it a point to corner other women, regardless of their age, and cram his beliefs down their throat.  And he will sit there and argue with them. Like it is a contest and only He gets to win.  I look for it every Sunday. And know what I do? I go interrupt him.  Is that bad? I hate seeing him prey on the elderly women, or the ones that are hurting.  I mean really.  Yes, he is married. But he disrespects her too.  Just feeling frustrated I guess. I know, forgive him, pray for him. Yeah, I am. But how do you get him to shut up?

 

 

Depression, Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Letting Go of Toxic People

Drowning

Letting go of toxic people. People that are out to hurt you. Jealousy, insecurity, fear…all lead to anger.  And Ms. D is not playing that game. Here are my thoughts to my “haters”:

I will not let your anger control me. You anger is exactly that – your anger.  I am sorry you see me as a threat. I am not against you. I pray for you. I want the best for you – even of you don’t.  I will not enter your arena of gossip and bad mouthing. I am not interested.

My  lesson, – live and let live.  I love you enough to let you be fully responsible for your actions.  Gossip kills. Back- biting kills. And every time you gossip to me about someone else  – I know you are gossiping about me behind my back.

I am making a new choice.  I cannot trust you with my life anymore. You do not value me or my life. You make fun of me and my family while you sit on your pedestal.

I forJealousygive you. But I am not sharing my life with you anymore. You have shamed my children and me. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I reject your inference that I am not right in the heart, and that I am not right with God. You don’t get a say. My relationship with God is my relationship, not yours. And who gave you the right to bad mouth and shame my kids?

You have no idea what my life is like. And the sad part is, I know you don’t really care.  Take your self -righteous attitude, your big mouth,  your pride and arrogance, and  just keep it to yourself.  I am not playing. I am not interested. You are not my friend, so stop pretending.

Yes, I have had enough. Forgive my rant. Can we just be real? Friends don’t do that. So stop calling me that.

 

[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11 AMP)

 

Toxic

Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Can You Put Down Your Stick?

Seriously. Can you put down your stick? I am so tired of people finding fault with each other. Who gave any of us the right to be each other’s Holy Spirit anyway?  You can do the right thing with the wrong spirit you know. And it will NOT be received.

We are not stupid. We feel that condemnation in your spirit. We feel that “holier than thou” attitude, even before you say a word. What happened to humility? What happened to grace and love? If you don’t put down that accusing finger your nose will grow as long as Pinocchio’s. Seriously. Let it go. You are not my Holy Spirit. If you want to be helpful to me, then pray for me. I need it. I admit I am not perfect. I do not do everything right. So put down that finger, and pray already.  And you might want to look in the mirror…that plank you see in me is reflecting from you…

Plank

Do Not Judge
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. (Matthew 7:1-6 NKJV)

 

 

Boundaries, Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Healing, Hurt in Church, Jezebel, Narcissism, Spirituality, Videos

Stop Tolerating the Jezebel Spirit

Stop TOLERATING the Jezebel spirit!
These are my notes from a teaching I saw from Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church 2011 Pastors Conference in TX.

The Jezebel spirit tries to get you to defile yourself on the inside or outside to disqualify you for ministry.

We should cast her out and those who commit adultery with her. Don’t allow this anymore. The Jezebel spirit only has power because we tolerate it. This is a constant battle for people in authority. As long as you are in authority you will run into this spirit.

Jezebel was rejected by her father and had a controlling mother. She/He is so wounded that they don’t want to be rejected. They are control freaks. Usually this spirit comes through a friend who wants to be your best friend.

Most of the time we don’t want to confront it because of what you will get back. Who in your church are you afraid to confront? You will get an over the top reaction or rejection when you do confront them.

Elijah addressed Jezebel and Ahab. Every Jezebel has an Ahab. Every person has been confronted by both of these spirits.

Revelation 2 speaks about what happens when you allow this spirit to continue.

What King of Israel conquered more land in the Old Testament?

1. Solomon
2. Ahab
3. David

Ahab was #2 which shows you can be a great conquerer and still be in bondage to a Jezebel spirit. Ahab couldn’t get the vineyard next door to his castle. He pouted. Jezebel got the land through manipulation, intimidation, lying, and fear.

6 ways to recognize Jezebel spirit

  1. Insecurity
  2. Rejection
  3. Pride
  4. Arrogance
  5. Manipulation
  6. Control

Jezebel can operate in a man or a woman. It is a manipulating, insecure, controlling, jealous spirit.

As long as you tolerate this spirit it is going to effect you!

4 effects or symptoms of how this spirit effects you
(From 1 Kings 19) when Elijah runs from Jezebel

1. Fear – Elijah ran for his life. Are you afraid to address someone in your church? It is a spirit.

2. Isolation – when you want to get away from everyone and everything.
Just want to be alone. You withdraw.

3. Exhaustion – you collapse, you are so tired you sleep for hours when you leave the area. It is a spirit.
Or if you have problems sleeping when you get back – you sense the oppression.

4. Depression. Elijah prayed that he would die. Many leaders are affected by this: Moses, Jeremiah, Jonah.

Thoughts of suicide are evidence of a Jezebel spirit attack  in your life. Impure sexual thoughts from out of the blue are evidence that you are under attack from a Jezebel spirit. And these thoughts are bombarding your mind, despite your best intentions.

Signs that You Are Being attacked by a Jezebel spirit

1. Thoughts of quitting. You want to quit what God has called and ordained you to do. You can be gracious with the person, but you can’t be gracious with the spirit.

2. Suicidal thoughts. This is evidence of a Jezebel spirit. Bombarding thoughts.

3. Depression. For example, do you find yourself relating to commercials on depression?

4. Having sexual impure thoughts. Bombarded with this stuff.

5. Strange and prolonged sicknesses.

6. Bizarre and near tragic/fatal accidents.

The spirit is trying to steal, kill, and destroy you!

Jezebel spirit tries to :

Steal your peace, joy, & confidence
Kill you with sickness & accidents
Destroy you with depression & fear

What is the Answer?

  1. Address it in the person. Be gracious to the person, but not the spirit
  2. Remove that person from all leadership unless the person repents
  3. Remove that person from any personal influence with you

You can’t remain friends with a Jezebel – they are not humble or teachable. That spirit will affect you.

1 Kings 19. Wind = Holy Spirit

Prophet, Priest, and King – Jesus

If you don’t deal with this. God will deal with you. Those who sleep with Jezebel were judged too.

He will remove you and raise up someone who will stand up to the spirit. And that person will have a double anointing.

What to Do:

Get with God
Seek Godly Counsel
Take action.

Prayer – repent for tolerating this spirit in leadership. Cast it out and trample that spirit. Forgive us Lord.

Take authority over that spirit. By the Name, blood, and the Power of the Lamb we rebuke Satan and every demonic spirit of control, manipulation, rejection, fear, intimidation.. go in Jesus Name!

Thank you for the breakthrough, in Jesus Name

What is being held up in your life because you are tolerating this spirit?

Jezebel Spirit

Revelation 2

The Corrupt Church

18 “And to the angel of the church in Thyatira write,

‘These things says the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and His feet like fine brass: 19 “I know your works, love, service, faith,[b] and your patience; and as for your works, the last are more than the first. 20 Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow[c] that woman[d] Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce[e] My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. 21 And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent.[f] 22 Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their[g] deeds. 23 I will kill her children with death, and all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.

24 “Now to you I say, and to the rest in Thyatira, as many as do not have this doctrine, who have not known the depths of Satan, as they say, I will put on you no other burden. 25 But hold fast what you have till I come. 26 And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations—

27 ‘He shall rule them with a rod of iron;
They shall be dashed to pieces like the potter’s vessels’—
as I also have received from My Father; 28 and I will give him the morning star.

29 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”’

 

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Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Healing, Hurt in Church, Spirituality, Uncategorized, Videos

Healing Your Soul – Part 1

Every once in a while The Lord leads you to a message, a Word that you needed to make it that day. My husband Bob has been listening to healing sermons by Evelyn Gipson out of  Life Church in Roscoe, IL. Bob and I went to her Healing School about a year ago. We were so blessed. And we are hungry. We want to be well. We want to be whole. Evelyn has so much Word in her you can’t help but be refreshed when you listen to her. Bob has been on fire these past few weeks just listening to the Word that God gives her! I’m so loving it here!

Here is a link to some of Evelyn’s Discipleship Training:

http://www.lifechurchag.com/page/1/?s=Evelyn

So today I thought I would listen again for myself. His enthusiasm is contagious and I just had to see for myself. I sat and listened to Evelyn’s first message. And WOW! What a blessed Minister of the Word! And then, I went online to find more. Yep, I’m hungry!

So I go the the website and start searching the titles. And God leads me to  this video is by Bev Tucker from the same church. She too is a powerhouse and teaches about Deliverance.  I about fell out of my chair when she did the thing with the rose. It was like 50 years of my life finally made sense.  And so did all those other things she talks about – like broken hearts, trauma, abuse, mental illness, and things like Dissociative Personality Disorder. Seriously, I have never heard a Pastor talk about these things. Yet many of us suffer. And we are starving looking for answers.  That’s why we come looking, seeking for a way to be whole. We know were broken, you don’t have to tell us that…that’s why we came.

Bev’s example made so much sense to me. Think about it. When we get in an accident and go to the hospital the Nurses and Doctors clean the wounds, and attempt to put us back together again.  They are smart, and are using the gift that God gave them to repair and rebuild.

But what about the soul injury? Our thoughts,  feelings, emotions, our personality – how do they get healed? As Bev says, the world and the psychologists and psychiatrists acknowledge the problem. They know what is happening, even down to the chemistry and brain function. They can medicate it, but they can’t fix it.  I speak from my experience. I went to them for years upon years. Yes, I acknowledged how and why I was broken. But can you fix it? I don’t know about you, but all they gave me was more talk about what I couldn’t change (my past) and more pills.

So then I went to church. Still broken, still looking for answers and healing. However most of the time the Church doesn’t even acknowledge or address the brokenness in a person. And we have the answer. The only way a person can be made whole again – Jesus Christ and the healing work of the Holy Spirit. But we don’t talk about that part cuz we are so busy “looking good”. Again, my opinion.

The Church is supposed to the the Hospital!

Injury, hurt, trauma, abuse, divorce, witchcraft, drugs, alcohol, whatever – they all leave their mark on our mind, will, and emotions. Even Lazarus needed someone to remove the bandages after Jesus raised him from the dead! Want to be healed? Want that abundant life God promised?

Watch this video – especially the rose part – and decide for yourself.

Hurt in Church, Spirituality

The $50,000 Cup of Coffee

Have you ever been hurt in church? I know I am not the only one.  This morning God spoke to me that I need to share some things that have hurt me that have happened in church.  Now I am not doing this to bad mouth people. There are good and well meaning people that go to church every week.  There are good Shepherds.  And then, there are others who are not helpful at all.  I know, we are all people, and hurting people – hurt people.

I have a new category on my page, “Hurt in Church”.  This is a place where I share what happened and how I am seeking healing and forgiveness.  I know I have hurt people, and people have hurt me.  We are all human.  But I pray that I can use these hurts as ministry opportunities – and healing opportunities.  Not only to bring attention to what we are doing to each other, but to release God’s healing in all of our hearts.

In many of my stories I may use the 3rd person. And I will not reveal names or places – just situations.  Names will be changed as well. God knows who they really are – and God will take care of it.  But I know for my own healing I need to let these things out – and release them, instead of hanging onto old hurts.

I know I have been deceived – by Abusers in many arenas in my life.  Maybe that is why I always gravitated towards the Charismatic leaders.  Many are good.  But others like to abuse their power.

 

THE $50,000 CUP OF COFFEE

She was living in the shelter with her two kids.  Lynn had recently left the 1969 broken down trailer she had called home after years of abuse.  She was trying to protect her children and start a new life.  She went to the church every Sunday morning looking for hope – and healing.  She walked away from all of her things – left with the clothes on her back and no money.  Seemed wrong – he was the abuser and he got the house – but she was grateful she was alive and her kids were safe.

At night Lynn worked as a part-time waitress at a local diner.  Mostly senior citizens and families were her customers.  She would make on average $30-$40 a night in tips.  Well, except for the Friday Fish Fry.  Then she might make more. A great Friday was worth $75 or so. That’s where she met him.  His name was Tom .

Tom was a widower.  He would come to the restaurant 3-4 nights a week.  He had his favorite chair at the counter.  Being that Lynn was the newest waitress, she usually worked the counter.  She liked it there.  She could talk and get to know whosoever sat down.  Most nights Tom would come in for the special. He really liked the Swiss Steak on Thursdays.

Tom was a Christian too.  Even though he went to a different church, he and Lynn would talk about what last Sunday’s sermon was on.  His eyes lit up every time Lynn asked him what God was doing in his life.  She knew he was sad and lonely and the restaurant was his only place to have a regular conversation. Tom would sit at that counter for a good 2 hours every time he came in.

And Lynn would pull out her little index cards.  One of the ways she kept her wits about her was to write a verse from the Bible on an index card.  She would keep them in her apron and pull them out every time she started to worry about how she would make it – being on her own with the kids, and living in the shelter. “What’s the verse of the day?” Tom would ask when he sat down at the counter. And Lynn would pull out the index card she had written on that morning. She was desperately looking for hope in a hopeless situation.

Then one night Tom asked her, “Hey, what church do you go to?”  Lynn told him, and asked, “Why do you want to know?”  Tom said, “You have such a freedom when you talk about God. I want to come visit.”  Lynn poured him another cup of coffee.

It was a few weeks later that Tom finally showed up.  He looked ragged and beat down.  But he came.  The next Thursday he came back to the restaurant.  Lynn poured him his usual coffee and ordered his Swiss Steak.  Then he told her.  “Hey Lynn, did your Pastor tell you what I did last week?”  Lynn looked at him sort of puzzled.  “No, He didn’t say anything.”

Tom hesitated, and then took a breath. “Well you see, I recently lost my business and I had to sell a building I owned.  I don’t want to pay the capital gains tax so I chose four churches to split the money with.  I just gave your Pastor a check for $50,000.”

Lynn was speechless. She stood there a moment with the coffeepot frozen in her hand.  Her mind was spinning.  Finally she spoke, “Really Tom, that is absolutely amazing!  What a generous gift.  I can’t believe you did that.  You see our church has been renting space for the last um-teen years, maybe now they can build.  Thank you so much Tom. Here, have some more coffee – on me!”  Lynn bought his dinner that night – just to say thank you.  It was a small gesture, but Tom appreciated it.  Who knows the last time someone bought him dinner?

That Sunday Lynn went back to church.  She expected the Pastor to make an announcement and thank her for bringing Tom to church.  She thought the $50,000 check would finally bring her some acceptance into the ‘inner circle’.  Being that it was an independent church only the Pastor and his chosen men knew the finances.  There were no open books there. Yet the Pastor didn’t say a word.  So she waited, and waited.  And Lynn kept working, making $30-$40 a night.  And bringing Tom coffee when he came to the restaurant.

After about a month Tom came back to Lynn’s church.  It was then the Pastor took him up front and thanked him for his generous contribution.  The applause rang out and we were all grateful.  Such a generous gift. There were promises of getting a new building, promises of supporting missionaries, promises of how they could now help so many people.

Lynn sat in the congregation fuming.  She couldn’t believe it.  She was the one who had poured the coffee – for months.  She was the one who fed this man night after night. And the Pastor was acting like she didn’t even exist.  He never even told her thank you.  He never acknowledged her. He never told her that her pouring coffee and listening to Tom had helped him and his church. The Pastor took all the credit for bringing Tom to church. He said he knew him, and there was no mention of Lynn. The Pastor and the men had their private meetings and Lynn has no idea what they did with all that cash.

Lynn was disappointed.  I mean really. A$50,000 cup of coffee. The Pastor wouldn’t even acknowledge her or say good job. Lynn wasn’t looking for a hand out.  She was working hard to make her own way – without help from anyone.  She didn’t ask for help her with rent, or gas, or food.  Oh occasionally one or two people would give her a $20 bill on Sunday.  Maybe they thought that would do it.

Lynn got a second job, and then a third.  All while she went through the divorce.  And lost everything.  She got help from the Salvation Army and they helped her get into Section 8 housing.  She moved into an apartment with her kids and a blanket and a pillow.  Her and the kids didn’t even have beds.  After a while she had to quit the restaurant. Her second job started at 6 am and she had to have the kids at daycare at 5 am.  Working until 11 pm just wasn’t feasible anymore.

She told Tom on her last night, “Thanks again Tom. You have sure been a blessing to XYZ Church.  I pray that God restores to you everything you have given 30, 60, 100 times over. God bless you my friend.”  She turned in her apron and walked out of the restaurant – and out of XYZ church.

 

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