Mistakes. We all make them. Wrong choices. We all do them. But what do you do with that?
Questions to Ponder:
Are you one to forgive and forget?
Do you hold onto those mistakes to beat yourself up with later?
Do you expect yourself to be perfect?
Are you angry when you or others make a mistake?
I have to admit it – I am a recovering Perfectionist. I used to have very unrealistic expectations for myself and for others. I was miserable. And I made everyone else miserable. I could not receive grace or mercy from God because I would not accept it while I was trying to be “perfect”. For me, it shut down my heart. I didn’t allow myself to “let my guard down” with God or anyone else. So I became a “platstic person”. I was never good enough in my own eyes. And neither was anyone else. But I would smile on the outside and say I was just fine…
It took the love of God to break through my mask of perfection. The more I read the Word, the more I received forgiveness and love from the Lord. He loved me right where I was at, and encouraged me to get up and try again.
If God forgave me, who was I to condemn myself?
And who was I to criticize what God had made?
What freedom I found when I finally gave myself permission to make mistakes. Wow, I can’t tell you how great it is to be human today. And now I can extend grace and mercy to others too. Because I have received grace and mercy from God. I forgave myself. God did. Jesus died for all my sins. I believe it. I receive it. And now I can forgive others. I can only give to others what God has given me. If I could not receive forgiveness for my shortcomings how could I forgive others for theirs?
I encourage you today. Forgive yourself. God already did, and I forgive you too – for whatever. Accept healing, accept grace, accept mercy – Jesus died to give it to us. It’s ok to be human today! That’s how He made us anyway. And I really think He already knew we would need His help!
“But you shall be named the priests of the Lord, They shall call you the servants of our God. You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles, And in their glory you shall boast. Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; Everlasting joy shall be theirs.” (Isaiah 61:6-7 NKJV)
I took my son to Physical Therapy last week. He recently broke both of the bones in his lower right leg. After the Dr. we stopped to pick up lunch for the ride back. We walked in the restaurant and I noticed there were 2 girls in front of us who were ordering. They had to be around 16 or so. One girl had purple hair, another had yellow dye and I though to myself, “Here are two budding artists or musicians!” I’m pretty open minded for kids to be able to express themselves.
But then my focus shifted to the one girl’s t-shirt. I couldn’t believe what it said, it stopped me in my tracks. Here is the shirt:
My first though was not the best idea – I’ll just go beat her with my Bible and tell her she has to repent or she’s going to Hell! Then Holy Spirit reminded me, maybe she is already living in Hell and has no hope. Maybe she wants to go to Hell because she has no faith in Jesus. Maybe she never met Jesus. I don’t know. I don’t know why or what led her to that mindset.
My second thought was I could go up to them while we wait for the food and I could ask her if I could pray with her. Then Holy Spirit reminded me that she doesn’t know God, she doesn’t know that Jesus can heal all things, so why would she want to pray to a God she doesn’t know or worship?
I couldn’t contain myself and I didn’t want to blow it by talking first and thinking later. I took a break and walked to the restrooms. Yes, even there I am still arguing with God about how to reach this girl. Do I give her a card to church? No, that won’t work. Why would she want to go to a strange place when she probably has no hope or faith left. I mean, really, she’s talking to the ‘other guy. I can’t imagine why someone would wear a t-shirt like that. Something must have happened.
As I sat down waiting for the food Holy Spirit told me what I should do. “I want you to pray for her…” What? Just pray? I don’t get to confront her or tell her she has to ‘come to Jesus’ or she better ‘get right with God’? Yes, just pray. As you can see, I still have a bit of the ‘religious spirit’ that needs to be healed.
The girls got their food first and then us. As they left I said a prayer for both of them. “Lord please bless those girls and let them come to know you, in Jesus Name.” They went their way and we went ours. Can I tell you that it’s been two weeks and I still pray for them. God said he hears our prayers and the effectual prayer of a righteous person avails much.
God’s Word for You:
“Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].” – James 5:16 AMP
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” – 1John 5:14
“I do not ask You to take them out of the world, but that You keep them and protect them from the evil one.” – John 17:15 AMP
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor (fellow man) and hate your enemy.’But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,so that you may [show yourselves to] be the children of your Father who is in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on those who are evil and on those who are good, and makes the rain fall on the righteous [those who are morally upright] and the unrighteous [the unrepentant, those who oppose Him]. For if you love [only] those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do that?And if you greet only your brothers [wishing them God’s blessing and peace], what more [than others] are you doing? Do not even the Gentiles [who do not know the Lord] do that?You, therefore, will be perfect [growing into spiritual maturity both in mind and character, actively integrating godly values into your daily life], as your heavenly Father is perfect.” – Matthew 5:43-48 AMP
My Prayer for You:
Dear Lord,
We pray for those who persecute us. We pray for the kids that You made and do not know You yet. We pray that you would shine light in their darkness. Let them run into Your people wherever they go and lead them to You Jesus. You told us Lord, “And I, if and when I am lifted up from the earth [on the cross], will draw all people to Myself [Gentiles, as well as Jews].” – John 12:32. We lift You up Jesus and we will see You draw all people to yourself, in Jesus Name.
Hallelujah, spring/summer is on it’s way in. No more snow. Yipee! I am not a fan of cold, snow, or winter, lol. I love when the grass is green and the flowers are blooming. Their fragrance is almost intoxicating. Give me a lilac bush, a rose bush, a hibiscus, anything. I love the smell of new growth. All of a sudden the plant pushes its way through the dark dirt and pops up to grow. What starts as a seed then sprouts and continues to grow and produce fruit/flowers/leaves.
Whatever the seed was, it becomes the plant it is supposed to be. The blueprint was already in the seed, even when it was buried. The potential was there from the beginning. That’s how we are too.
God formed us in our mother’s womb. He knew the end from the beginning. He called us OUT of darkness and INTO His marvelous light. He makes all things NEW. We are a new creation in Jesus. Our lives are hidden with Christ in God. I think I’m going to start living there, not just here on Earth.
Let’s choose to believe Him. Let’s choose faith, not fear. Let’s set our minds on things above, not below. Let’s walk in faith of what God’s Word says – even if we can’t see it yet!
A Time for Everything
There is a special time for everything. There is a time for everything that happens under heaven. There is a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pick what is planted. There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. There is a time to cry, and a time to laugh; a time to have sorrow, and a time to dance. There is a time to throw stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to kiss, and a time to turn from kissing. There is a time to try to find, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away. There is a time to tear apart, and a time to sew together; a time to be quiet, and a time to speak. There is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NLV
Has time ever caught up with you? Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, or maybe because all my kids moved out and are on their own.
I was driving my son to the Doctor the other day. He just had a motorcycle accident 2 weeks ago and broke both of the bones in his lower right leg. He was turning 21 in the next few days and I had a hard time believing he was grown up already. As we drove through Janesville WI, we drove by his old elementary school. I remembered when he and his sister went there and I got a job there to be with them. I had just separated their psycho dad. We drove by the old trailer park we used to live in, and the YMCA Domestic Violence Center where God set us free from abuse. It seems like just yesterday I was living there with both of my young children. Then we drove by the A & W restaurant we would walk to from the shelter. We drove by the park I used to take them to when they were little. I was so broke back then. I had a part time waitress job, and a full time job at a nursing home. Times were hard, but God is good and He provided for us in so many ways. He protected us and kept us safe.
Wow, God sure has a way of turning things around! Today my kids are 21, 22, 30, and 33. I am proud of all of them and they are all leading amazing lives. They always bring me joy and love. God has restored everything and more to us. I am a proud wife of an amazing man and we are blessed beyond belief!
God’s Word for You
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.
“For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, And do not return there, But water the earth, And make it bring forth and bud, That it may give seed to the sower And bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. – Isiah 55:8-11 NKJV
Instead of shame and dishonor, you will enjoy a double share of honor. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
“For I, the Lord, love justice. I hate robbery and wrongdoing. I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be recognized and honored among the nations. Everyone will realize that they are a people the Lord has blessed.” – Isaiah 61:7-9 NLT
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ – Isiah 41:10 NKJV
“But all who devour you will be devoured, and all your enemies will be sent into exile. All who plunder you will be plundered, and all who attack you will be attacked. I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,” says the Lord. “For you are called an outcast— ‘Jerusalem for whom no one cares.’”
This is what the Lord says: “When I bring Israel home again from captivity and restore their fortunes, Jerusalem will be rebuilt on its ruins, and the palace reconstructed as before. There will be joy and songs of thanksgiving, and I will multiply my people, not diminish them; I will honor them, not despise them. Their children will prosper as they did long ago. I will establish them as a nation before me, and I will punish anyone who hurts them. They will have their own ruler again, and he will come from their own people. I will invite him to approach me,” says the Lord, “for who would dare to come unless invited? You will be my people, and I will be your God.” – Jeremiah 30: 16-22 NLT
My Prayer for You:
Dear Lord,
I am thanking you in advance for healing my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are your people and You are our God. During this process we choose to trust You and Your ways. Your word WILL accomplish what You said and it WILL prosper. Thank you Lord, for restoring all of us!
Yes, 2020 sucked. But it’s over. We made it. God saw us through and we are still here! Hallelujah! I don’t know about you, but there were a few times I didn’t know if I would make it to 2021. Yes, I have been knocked down this past year with deaths, COVID in my family, heart attack, and pancreatitis, as well as 5 other ER visits. It’s been kind of a blur. But one thing I do know, God was with me the whole time! There were days I cried, days I just wanted to give up, as well as happy days, and beautiful memories. COVID and illness has certainly given us all a clearer picture of what is really important.
There were more than a few days that I stayed home from Church and watched online. This was hard for me because I am part of our Worship Team. So is my husband Bob, and 6 other friends that are the most amazing gift ever. The last time I stayed home I just cried. The Worship Team sounded so good – without me. It was very humbling. Yes, they are all amazing and we are blessed. I felt lonely and left out. It’s so hard to be sick and stay home all the time. But God showed me something. I could praise Him at home, without the band, without my piano or bass, just on my own for He is worthy to be praised! I learned how to just BE with Jesus.
I learned a very important lesson this past year.
For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” – Romans 14:8 NKJV
Yes, God is still on the throne, and whether I play or don’t play, laugh or cry, live or die, I belong to the Lord. This brought me comfort. It is way easier to let go of things I can’t control if I trust my God who knows the end from the beginning. God is with us. He has plans for us here and in Heaven.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV
This verse and song helped me too. I need to see the vision of where I am going, not where I am. Hope rises. Faith rises. God rises, and so will we!
RISE UP by Andra Day
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.” – Isaiah 60:1-3 NIV
You’re broken down and tired Of living life on a merry go round And you can’t find the fighter But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out And move mountains We gonna walk it out And move mountains, And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again And I’ll rise up High like the waves I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again, For you For you For you For you, When the silence isn’t quiet And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe And I know you feel like dying But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet And move mountains Bring it to its feet And move mountains, And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again, For you For you For you For you All we need, all we need is hope And for that we have each other And for that we have each other And we will rise We will rise We’ll rise, oh, oh We’ll rise I’ll rise up Rise like the day I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I will rise a thousand times again And we’ll rise up High like the waves We’ll rise up In spite of the ache We’ll rise up And we’ll do it a thousand times again For you For you For you For you Ah, ah, ah, ah
Remember Job? I can relate to this guy lately. I wrote about my heart attack here on 4/21/20. That was 6 days in the hospital. 4 weeks later I had another heart episode on 5/29/20 and had to go back to the Hospital. That was another 4 days. That’s 10 days out of 30 that I spent in the Hospital.
It was kind of a blur. Lots of IV’s, lots of medicine, and lots of falling asleep in the middle of a sentence! Very little sleep, they woke me up every hour for vitals and shots. It sucked!
Praise God I am home now. I qualified for Home Health so I have a visiting Nurse, Social Worker, Physical Therapist, and Occupational Therapist that all come to my home to help me get stronger. I’m still using my walker, that sucks, but at least I don’t fall down.
So back to Job. Here’s the verse: “Now there was a day when the sons of God (angels) came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan (adversary, accuser) also came among them.The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Then Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming around on the earth and from walking around on it.”The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered and reflected on My servant Job? For there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God [with reverence] and abstains from and turns away from evil [because he honors God].”Then Satan answered the Lord, “Does Job fear God for nothing?Have You not put a hedge [of protection] around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands [and conferred prosperity and happiness upon him], and his possessions have increased in the land.But put forth Your hand now and touch (destroy) all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face.”Then the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that Job has is in your power, only do not put your hand on the man himself.” So Satan departed from the presence of the Lord.” – Job 1:6-12
I guess I’ve been considered. Never thought I would have a heart attack at 56 but here I am. I admit it, I lost it. When I got home at the end of April I was in shock. I froze. I was paralyzed. All the faith I thought I had shriveled up like a raisin. My friends tried to reach out to me and I didn’t even answer the phone. I had given up.
I sat in the dust like Job. I cried every day. I really thought I would just wake up dead. Fear had gripped my heart and was strangling me like a snake. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read my Bible, nor anything else for that matter. I couldn’t type, I kept messing up the letters. So I sat in the dust and cried and waited.
My husband and Pastor and friends prayed for me. I could feel it. Occasionally there were glimpses of light that came through my broken body and soul. They carried me and lowered me through the roof of despair and put me right in front of Jesus. I don’t think I would be here without their prayers.
Here I am 10 days later after the last hospital discharge. And I’m ready to get up! I have seen the Home Health Nurse, Occupational Therapist, Physical Therapist, and Social Worker. I have also started Cardiac Rehab. I can’t believe all of the people God has put in my life to help me. My husband is amazing. He is so supportive I feel like I’m in a Hallmark movie. My kids have become my cheerleaders checking on me all the time. My tribe of girlfriends have rallied by my side and encourage me all the time. I truly am blessed.
So the point of my story? I may have been planted in the dirt but this seed is breaking through the soil of infitmity and growing more and more into the plant God made me to be. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. I am still fighting for my life here. But I am not alone. My God is for me, who can stand against me?
Here are the verses that I have used to exercise my faith during this trial. I hope that if you are going through a trial you will hold on to these in your heart and speak them to God. Then, like me, we have to give God a minute to do what He said He would do. God is faithful. Some I have paraphrased
FAITH POWER VERSES
Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.
If God is for me who can stand against me?
God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.
The blood on your houses will be a sign for you. When I see the blood, I will pass over you. No deadly plague will touch you when I strike Egypt. (I put the blood of Jesus on the doorpost of my heart so God will not destroy my and the enemy will pass over me.)
The devil has come to kill, steal and destroy. But I have come to give you life, and life more abundantly
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by
God will never leave nor forsake me
He who the Son sets free is free indeed.
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Hide me under the shadow of your wings Lord so the enemy can’t find me.)
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. (Because I love You, You will protect me and show me Your Salvation)
Heal me Lord and I will be healed. Save me Lord and I will be saved.
The Lord bless you, and keep you [protect you, sustain you, and guard you];The Lord make His face shine upon you [with favor], And be gracious to you [surrounding you with lovingkindness];The Lord lift up His countenance (face) upon you [with divine approval], And give you peace [a tranquil heart and life].’ – Numbers 6:24-26
It was last Tuesday, April 21, 2020. My husband’s 55th birthday. The day did NOT go as planned to say the least. I had been sleeping upstairs again. I had been vomiting for the last 3 nights and tried to sleep in the recliner. It wasn’t working. I had not been able to keep anything down that day, not even a cracker. It felt like an Elephant was sitting on my chest. I did what I always do, I ignored my symptoms for 3 days. I had fever, chills, shortness of breath, headache, etc. Sounded like all they symptoms of Corona Virus.
Finally on the morning of the 21st I asked my Husband to take me to the Dr. I couldn’t deny it any longer, something was wrong. I had to call the Dr. ahead of time. With the Covid-19 outbreak you can’t just show up these days. We drove up to Madison and went to see the Dr. My husband had to wait in the car. They don’t let any extra people in these days. Crazy times.
I answered a plethora of questions from the Nurse and Dr. both. They wanted to test me for Covid. I agreed, however the Dr. said if she did the test it would be weeks before I got the results back. She suggested I go the ER and they had a test that had results back in an hour. I went back to the car and asked my husband to bring me to the ER. Thank goodness he is a patient man! He had to wait in the car again.
They started with the Covid test. Gotta love that big Q-tip they shove up your nose, not! I thought it was gonna poke through my brain! Then the bloodwork. That was painful. I was pretty dehydrated at that point and my veins didn’t want to come out and play. It took 4 different people 2 tries each to finally find a vein. Needless to say, I still have a lot of bruises.
Then they hooked me up to the EKG Machine. It didn’t look good. They started the Oxygen and the IV fluids. Finally, getting somewhere I thought. They took like 15 vials of blood. Tested for everything under the sun.
After about an hour the Dr. came in. He said it didn’t look good. My Tryptophan levels were through the roof, my heart was not beating properly, and I wasn’t going to go home that day. I phoned my husband to break the news. He had been waiting in the parking lot 3 hours at this point. I told him to go home and that I didn’t know when they were going to let me go home. But it wasn’t going to be that day. Happy Birthday Bob. ;(
He drove home while the medical team kept working on me. I had an ultrasound of my heart done, a CT scan of my lungs, and another EKG of my heart. After all that, the Dr. called me. Yes, they call you now on the phone, along with the registration people and the Pharmacist. It’s really weird. The Dr. said I was having a NSTEMI Heart Attack. That’s funny I thought, it didn’t feel like a Heart Attack. I didn’t even know what that word meant. I had to Google it. Which may I say, is NOT a good idea when you are sitting in an Emergency Room!
After 8 hours, I was finally admitted to the Hospital and got out of the ER. I have to say, it was the most organized ER I have ever been to. They had teams of people helping patients andI would definitely go there again. I had never been to that Hospital in Madison, WI before.
It was a long night. Lots of trips to the bathroom with all the stuff they were pumping into me. They added Heparin and Nitro to the IV. Not a good time. The next morning they told me they wanted to do an Angiogram. I didn’t know what that was either. More Google. Great. Lets take a camera, shove it up your vein into your heart and take a poke around. The week was getting “better and better”, not! Nothing to eat or drink after midnight they told me. Okey dokey.
I dozed on and off. At about 12:30 I felt it. A huge anxiety attack was rolling over me. Too many things to process in one day. My heartbeat sped up, I started breathing faster. I rang the bell for the nurse. She asked me what I took for anxiety. I had just started a new script that week for Lorazepam. I only took one and it made me so dizzy I almost puked. I asked her to call the Dr. for something else as I didn’t want to be that dizzy again. She called the Dr. and he said no, we can’t give her anything new with the procedure going on in a few hours. I got Melatonin. Didn’t help at all. I stared at the clock until 3:30 am totally freaking out. Finally, I feel asleep – for an hour. Then it started all over again. It was one of the worst nights of my life.
Wed morning rolls around andfind out my angiogram isn’t until 11 am. That means no coffee! Miss D is not good at all without her morning coffee, just ask Bob! I wait it out and finally at 10 I get to go to the surgery prep area. Finally. Let’s get this show on the road! They don’t put you under, I had a drug that relaxed me and a local anesthetic for the vein. I was so tired by that point I fell asleep. Thank you Jesus!
I wake up an hour later and was in recovery. The Nurse brought me crackers and string cheese and decaf coffee. That was the best meal I have ever had! I was starving at that point. They wheeled me back up to the top floor of the Hospital. I did have a great view of Lake Monona!
The Angiogram looked good the Dr. said. No significant blockages so he didn’t have to do the balloon thing. Praise God! I ordered lunch and proceeded to stuff my face again, lol! The Cardiac Rehab Nurse came in and shared what I need to do to get better. Exercise, eat better, lower the alcohol, you know. She gave me a file and said I could go home that night between 5 and 6 pm! Yeah! I called Bob, and he was there at 5 pm. The Pharmacist filled my new scripts and brought them up. What a relief. I was so happy to get out of there!
So here we are, 6 days later. I still can’t believe it was a heart attack. It didn’t feel like one. Like I would know – I have never had a heart attack before, lol! I have started walking my dog Max everyday for 30 minutes. We are changing our diets slowly. And I have to see my regular Dr. sometime this week. It may be a phone call, we will see. I have to go back to the Cardio Unit in a month for follow up.
Here I sit. I trust You God to get me through this. I have no control over this, I have to believe that God does. I thought I had Covid, not a heart attack. Guess I’m just gonna take it day by day. Here are a few songs that helped me today. I heard them on Pandora while walking Max.
Max
I BELIEVE by James Fortune & FIYA featuring Zacardi Cortez & Shawn McLemore
THIS IS A MOVE by Brandon Lake and Tasha Cobbs Leonard
I feel like a bird in a cage Trapped with myself in the middle of a plague All the voices in my head keep calling my name There are Angels and Demons, all in a rage
One day life was normal The next day the world closed People divided into essential or non-essential The invisible corona virus exposed
People panicked and afraid, made toilet paper raids The Hospitals run out of masks and people wearing gas masks
God , I’m calling out to You
You hold the keys of Death and Hades We need Your Peace to get through Hide us under Your wings Protect us all from this plague We put our trust in Your Name
Grief, it comes in waves. One moment I am fine, and the next I am crying like a little baby. There is no way to get through this valley of Grief without it changing you. I have been silent for a while now. The sound of silence is deafening. How can silence be so loud?
We all grieve differently. Some have been through it so many times and they go through the 5 stages of grief quickly. Others, like me, linger here for what seems forever. Memory after memory floods my mind and takes me away to a different time and place – a time when we were together. My heart hurts. I can never go back to the way things were, you are not here. I know you are in a better place with no more sorrow and no more pain, no more tears, but I am stuck here. Help me Lord get through this because I am falling apart.
The 5 stages of grief and loss are:
1. Denial and isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
I admit it. I don’t like feelings. They come and go and change and I have absolutely no control over any of it! That’s really hard for a control freak like me!
So what is a person supposed to do when they lose someone they love? I would love it if I could turn back time and we could be together again. But I don’t have control over that either. My only choice is to Embrace it all. Don’t run from the valley. I have to feel every thing and make a choice to trust God to walk beside me and lead me THROUGH the valley of despair. Trust God. Yeah, from a girl with trust issues. No wonder this is so hard.
I know God is Faithful. I know God is True and God is with me and for me. But now, I have to let Him lead me out of this valley. I get to let Him drive. Ok, I surrender. I have no other choice. I don’t want to stay here in the despair and sorrow forever. Show me Your Glory Lord. Show me Your Comfort Lord. I need You!
God’s Word for You:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
“Blessed are those who mourn, For they shall be comforted. ” Matthew 5:4
“He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
“My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26
“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”” Revelation 21:4
“If you love Me,keep My commandments.And I will pray the Father, andHe will give you anotherHelper, that He may abide with you forever—the Spirit of truth,whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with youand will be in you.I will not leave you orphans;I will come to you.” John 14:15-18
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.” 2 Corinthian 1:3-7
My Prayer for You:
Dear Lord,
You have told us that you would never leave us nor forsake us. I know you are here with me now in the middle of my grief. I pray that you would hold me and comfort me during this season. No matter how long it takes to get to the other side, I pray that you would open up my eyes and my understanding to see You right here next to me, holding me, and walking with me. Help me to just be still, and KNOW that You are God, in Jesus Name!
Do you ever wonder what Heaven is really like? Me too. There are lots of sites out there that say all sorts of things. Some people say there is no Heaven or Hell. That’s depressing to me. I choose to believe the Bible about Heaven. Let’s take a look at what the Word of God says about Heaven.
What is Heaven Really Like?
“Do not let your heart be troubled (afraid, cowardly). Believe [confidently] in God and trust in Him, [have faith, hold on to it, rely on it, keep going and] believe also in Me.In My Father’s house are many dwelling places. If it were not so, I would have told you, because I am going there to prepare a place for you.And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and I will take you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also.And [to the place] where I am going, you know the way.”Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going; so how can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the [only] Way [to God] and the [real] Truth and the [real] Life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14″ 1-6 AMP
“Pay close attention now: I’m creating new heavens and a new earth. All the earlier troubles, chaos, and pain are things of the past, to be forgotten. Look ahead with joy. Anticipate what I’m creating: I’ll create Jerusalem as sheer joy, create my people as pure delight. I’ll take joy in Jerusalem, take delight in my people: No more sounds of weeping in the city, no cries of anguish; No more babies dying in the cradle, or old people who don’t enjoy a full lifetime; One-hundredth birthdays will be considered normal— anything less will seem like a cheat. They’ll build houses and move in. They’ll plant fields and eat what they grow. No more building a house that some outsider takes over, No more planting fields that some enemy confiscates, For my people will be as long-lived as trees, my chosen ones will have satisfaction in their work. They won’t work and have nothing come of it, they won’t have children snatched out from under them. For they themselves are plantings blessed by God, with their children and grandchildren likewise God -blessed. Before they call out, I’ll answer. Before they’ve finished speaking, I’ll have heard. Wolf and lamb will graze the same meadow, lion and ox eat straw from the same trough, but snakes—they’ll get a diet of dirt! Neither animal nor human will hurt or kill anywhere on my Holy Mountain,” says God .” Isaiah 65:17-25 MSG
“I saw Heaven and earth new-created. Gone the first Heaven, gone the first earth, gone the sea. I saw Holy Jerusalem, new-created, descending resplendent out of Heaven, as ready for God as a bride for her husband. I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: “Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God. He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone.” The Enthroned continued, “Look! I’m making everything new. Write it all down—each word dependable and accurate.” Then he said, “It’s happened. I’m A to Z. I’m the Beginning, I’m the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty. Conquerors inherit all this. I’ll be God to them, they’ll be sons and daughters to me. But for the rest—the feckless and faithless, degenerates and murderers, sex peddlers and sorcerers, idolaters and all liars—for them it’s Lake Fire and Brimstone. Second death!” Revelation 21:1-6 MSG
“Then the Angel showed me Water-of-Life River, crystal bright. It flowed from the Throne of God and the Lamb, right down the middle of the street. The Tree of Life was planted on each side of the River, producing twelve kinds of fruit, a ripe fruit each month. The leaves of the Tree are for healing the nations. Never again will anything be cursed. The Throne of God and of the Lamb is at the center. His servants will offer God service—worshiping, they’ll look on his face, their foreheads mirroring God. Never again will there be any night. No one will need lamplight or sunlight. The shining of God, the Master, is all the light anyone needs. And they will rule with him age after age after age.” Revelation 22:1-5 MSG
“Don’t overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change. But when the Day of God’s Judgment does come, it will be unannounced, like a thief. The sky will collapse with a thunderous bang, everything disintegrating in a huge conflagration, earth and all its works exposed to the scrutiny of Judgment. Since everything here today might well be gone tomorrow, do you see how essential it is to live a holy life? Daily expect the Day of God, eager for its arrival. The galaxies will burn up and the elements melt down that day—but we’ll hardly notice. We’ll be looking the other way, ready for the promised new heavens and the promised new earth, all landscaped with righteousness.” 2 Peter 3:8-13 MSG
“But here on this mountain, God -of-the-Angel-Armies will throw a feast for all the people of the world, A feast of the finest foods, a feast with vintage wines, a feast of seven courses, a feast lavish with gourmet desserts. And here on this mountain, God will banish the pall of doom hanging over all peoples, The shadow of doom darkening all nations. Yes, he’ll banish death forever. And God will wipe the tears from every face. He’ll remove every sign of disgrace From his people, wherever they are. Yes! God says so! Also at that time, people will say, “Look at what’s happened! This is our God! We waited for him and he showed up and saved us! This God, the one we waited for! Let’s celebrate, sing the joys of his salvation. God ’s hand rests on this mountain!” Isaiah 25:6-10 MSG
I live in Wisconsin. Last night we had another snow emergency with another 1 to 4 inches. We are kinda buried in snow. It’s real pretty to look at – as long as you are inside, lol!Then you see it. There is always a sign. God never gives up on us. Here is a little geranium plant that refuses to give up. It won’t quit. Shout out to all the plants growing through concrete – or snow!
“But there’s far more to life for us. We’re citizens of high heaven! We’re waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He’ll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him.” – Philippians 3:20 MSG
“Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 3:12-14 NKJV
This is my new favorite song!
The God Who Stays by Matthew West
Verse 1
If I were You I would’ve given up on me by now
I would’ve labeled me a lost cause
‘Cause I feel just like a lost cause
If I were You
I would’ve turned around and walked away
I would’ve labeled me beyond repair
‘Cause I feel like I’m beyond repair
Pre-Chorus
But (‘Cause) somehow You don’t see me like I do
Somehow You’re still hereChorus
You’re (From) the God who stays
You’re the God who stays
You’re the one who runs in my direction
When the whole world walks away
You’re the God who stands
With wide open arms
And You tell me nothing I have ever done
Could separate my heart
(From the God who stays)
Verse 2
I used to hide
Every time I thought I let You down
I always thought I had to earn my way
But I’m learning You don’t work that way
Bridge
My shame can’t separate my guilt can’t separate
My past can’t separate I’m Yours foreverMy sin can’t separate my scars can’t separate
My failures can’t separate I’m Yours forever
No enemy can separate
No power of hell can take away
Your love for me will never change
I’m Yours forever
As we leave 2019 and enter 2020 I pray prayers of Deliverance for all of us. There is baggage that we no longer need to carry anymore. Jesus delivered us from all the fear, grief, worry, anxiety, sickness and shame at Calvary. I for one am young to “Let it Go” this season!
I don’t have to carry fear around. I can use my faith and choose to trust God. He will surround me with Songs of Deliverance!
You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah – Psalm 32:7
God is my refuge and hiding place. I do not need to fear the future. God is with me. He is more than able to keep me safe.
I trust my God to protect my family as well. God is able to keep those we have committed to Him!
I can pray God’s Word and watch as He fulfills it. He promised that His Word would not return to Him void, but it would accomplish that which He set it out to do.
Jesus has come to bring life and life more abundantly. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I can cancel the plans of the Enemy by speaking the Word out loud over myself and my family.
I have been chosen and set apart by the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Christ in me is my hope of glory. I have received a deposit of my inheritance, the Holy Spirit.
My future is secure because it is not based on me, but on what Christ has already accomplished. Nothing can take me from His hand!
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.My Father,who has giventhemto Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatchthemout of My Father’s hand.I andMyFather are one
– John 10:27-30
The same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead lives in me. Jesus is the Author and Finisher of my faith. He who began a good work in me will complete it until the end!
I pray God’s Word will Deliver you from all things this Season. Let us walk as free men and women in 2020 because He who the Son sets free is free indeed!
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