Tag: let go

Letting Go of the Past and Negative Thoughts

It has been said that “as a man thinks – so he becomes.” Yes, we are what we think about. One of the hardest things for me after domestic violence and abuse is learning to renew my mind. I had to learn that just because someone said something to me, that did NOT mean that it was true.  Abusers are excellent manipulators and agents for the Enemy. They plant lie after lie in your head and after hearing something so many times, I started to believe it.


You know the Negative thoughts:

  • You are worthless
  • Nobody would ever want you
  • The kids and I would be better without you
  • You are dumb, fat, ugly, and stupid
  • You never do anything right
  • You mean nothing to me
  • Are you really that stupid?

Can you relate? 

Only reading the Word of God has helped cast down these lies. I needed a new tape, a new mindset. I needed a new truth.

 Praise God –  He is able. He is waiting to meet us and get rid of all the lies. Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy – BUT GOD is exceedingly abundantly willing to give us a new life with new thoughts and life more abundantly. Don’t be deceived any longer my friends.


Those words spoken over you from the Enemy I cast down and turn into dust in Jesus Name!



For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man. 

The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. 

We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, being ready to punish every act of disobedience, when your own obedience [as a church] is complete. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6AMP



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12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

It’s OK to Let Go at the Crossroads

growth

Diana. Walk forward. God promised to go before you and prepare the way. Just get up and walk. You will hear Him whisper the way.

Our family is moving in the next 2 weeks.  Things happen. Things change. Lord, let me let go of what I thought was going to happen, and just walk forward with you – without all this baggage from the past. Show me Lord, I’m asking.

“O people who dwell in Zion at Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry; when He hears it, He will answer you.

And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide Himself any more, but your eyes will constantly behold your Teacher.

And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.” -Isaiah 30:19-21 AMP

crossraods

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!”-Bob Marley

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person’s throat……Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established………

Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation………

Forgiveness does not excuse anything………You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness……”
Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

 

“Don’t ever discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak.”
Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

 

“Jesus?” he whispered as his voice choked “I feel so lost”

A hand reached out and squeezed his, and didn’t let go. “I know Mack. But it’s not true. I am with you and I’m not lost. I’m sorry it feels that way, but hear me clearly. You are not lost.”
Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

 

“Here I am at these crossroads again,
wondering what will never become of me.
Now and then, I’ll take one on the chin.
Because I wear my heart upon my sleeve.”
Jerod Mankin

 

“Life presents us with moments of decision—crossroads where we either choose a new direction and move on, or cling to what we already have and be miserable.”
― Mary Buchan, Over iT: How to Live Above Your Circumstances and Beyond Yourself