Tag Archives: Relationships

Boundaries, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Jezebel, Narcissism, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Why Jezebels and Narcissits Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

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You may know one – or have known one. The Killjoy, the Jezebel or the Naracissit who consistantly ruins every holiday. It may be a birthday, a Thanksgiving, or even Christmas.  Every year they make a scene – to be seen. It’s almost like they are on steroids. All those criticizing, belittling, and blaming behaviors come out in stereo. Loud and proud as they cut down everyone and everything in their way. But why? Why do they insist on the drama every Holiday? And more importantly, what can you do to keep your peace?

holiday narcissist 2.jpg

 

Why Jezebels and Narcissists Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

  • Jezebels and Narcissits have a self control problem. They have none. So they create drama all around them so they feel important. It’s all about them. They want to be the star of the show. So if they cut you down, they think they shine.
    •  It’s a pretty dull sparkle if you ask me. Don’t react. Let them be stupid all by themselves.
  • Holidays bring crowds and they love to be the star of the show. Once again, you don’t matter to them. They have no real heart. It is cold and closed. More people mean a bigger audience for them to play their leading role.
    • They are a legend in their own minds.  Too bad it’s the size of a pea, lol! They think they are God and everyone should bow down and worship them. Don’t do it. Don’t put them on a pedestel, or cater to their whims. There is no throne for that type of behavior. It’s abusive.
  • Jezebels and Narcissists are insecure –  only they don’t want anyone to know about it. They often overreact to the dumbest things. They will blow a gasket at the drop of a hat, over anything. They are maniupulaters and blamers. In their mind anything that goes wrong is never their fault. They think they walk on water.
    • They will blame whoever is in their way. This way they feed their own ego. You can almost see their head blow up with their own hot air. When the blaming starts, take a deep breath and don’t belive them. Whatever comes out of their mouth is not true. They lie to cover things up all the time. Half of the time they do not even remember all the lies they tell.
  • Jezebesl and Narcissists  love to stir up drama. Have you ever noticed how they will poke and prod and gossip just to get someone upset? It makes them feel in control. They love to get other people angry.  I really think anger is fuel to them. They thrive on it.
    • Don’t play. Don’t react. Let their words fall to the ground.  Just because they said something doesn’t mean it is true. Sometimes this makes them even angrier, be prepared. It’s healthy to walk away, take a break, leave the room. You don’t have to watch them crash and burn.

Keep you peace this Holiday. If they want to be a jerk, let them. We have no contorl over other people’s bad behavior. It is not our fault they are jerks, that is their choice. What we can control is our reaction to it.

“Don’t feed the Jezebel or the Narcissist – they will only get uglier.”

Remember to put on your full armor and stand strong. Let it go, God will deal with them just like He did with Jezebel. Keep your peace. Don’t play. Pray, ask God to intercede. He will, and watch the Jezebels fall!

narcissist

 

Hope, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

The Joy of Listening

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The older I get the less stuff I want or need. I guess stuff just doesn’t matter to me like it used to. The older I get the more I value people – friends, family, kids, husband, everyone.  Everyone I meet has a story. 

Do you like stories? I love hearing stories of what people have lived through and overcome. I’m naturally curious and ask questions to almost anyone. 

Our church went Christmas Caroling tonight at a local nursing home. We had a blast. I met a music teacher from a close by town. She told me about how she taught for years. Her eyes lit up while she talked. We shared a moment in time that was precious. 

Then I sat by another lady and she shared how her friend was turning 100 in April. She said she had to go meet everyone before we started. She pointed our another friend who was still as young as ever at 86. I said, “I hope, I’m that active when I’m 86!” Another precious moment with a beautiful woman created by listening. People love to talk. 

Tonight I learned the value of just shutting up and listening. We bring value to others just through listening. The joy of listening brings magical moments! Hallelujah!

 Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us]. – James 1:19-20 AMP

Boundaries, Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Healing, Hope, Narcissism, Spirituality, Women

12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

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Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

Boundaries, Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Healing, Spirituality, Spring Training

Spring Training #1-Exercising Our Faith-Honor Our Bodies

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Spring Training. All the baseball teams gearing up for the game. Getting ready, letting go of what doesn’t work and training for the new season. I am in a period of transition. A period of spring training. I have had to acknowledge a few weaknesses and change my thoughts and attitudes to learn new habits. I am learning to build my strength both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Spring Training is a New Series I am writing to help us all refocus on our positive goals and exercise our faith.

Like the athletes we all have ‘muscles’ that we need to use or they atrophy. Muscles that have been in hibernation during the long cold winter. And our faith is the same way. It only gets exercised when we are using it. That means there will be trials,temptations and troubles we will get to go through – but they bring forth the GOLD of our faith.  Press on my friends, together we can do this!

SPRING TRAINING EXERCISE #1:

Learning to Honor Our Bodies

 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP)

Taking Responsibility for Our Health

One of the hardest areas for me after a life of abuse is learning how to honor my body. When you have had innocence stolen from you and been raped you feel like trash. The enemy plants thoughts in your head that you deserved it and you will never be clean. And then add Abuser after Abuser who commanded you to do unholy things with your body and your relationship. Add those swine who sought out pornography and the evils it opens you up to. For many years I did not address or even talk about these things. I did not own my body. I let another use it and abuse it. I gave away my power and my self-respect to a pig.

I was married before and I wanted to please my husband so I did what he said. He was sick. I should have said no. It took me years to learn to say that word. Then I was in another relationship with a very sick man who was into the bondage scene (yeah, my own shades of grey nightmare). Let me say that just because a person has money does not mean they are healthy. Some of the ‘sickest’ people I matched up with had money and thought I was a piece of property and something they owned. I went from psycho to psycho as I didn’t believe I deserved any better. I had no boundaries and I thought I was trash. I had no idea who God said I was.

Some of the wisest advice I got from Grandma Pat, a beautiful woman who lived down the street from me. She used to come over singing these old hymns and just listen to me cry. I wouldn’t be here today if she had not taken the time to stop and come over and listen. She told me,

“You don’t have to dishonor God to please your husband.”

 

pearls-before-swine

That was the home run for me. I finally got it. I could choose to honor God first. What those men asked me to do and what I did was wrong. God knows what happened. And I had to ask God to forgive me, and then forgive myself for giving authority of my body over to a swine. Yes, I cast my pearls before swine. And they trampled all over them. Because that’s what pigs do.

I ended those relationships. And didn’t date anyone for over a year. I learned how to take care of me and take authority back over my body. I asked God to break all the soul-ties with the blood of Jesus. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into those dark rooms and bring the deep healing I needed. I met with a counselor for a time and learned that the rape was not my fault. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. I did not asked to be abused. It wasn’t that way in the beginning. It happens over time. And it’s wrong. Not every husband/boyfriend honors his wife. I learned the hard way.

When I was on my own I had to learn how to ‘honor my body’ and choose to be well. I didn’t have to stay a victim. God promised to heal me and I chose to let Him. He turned my victim mentality into victorious. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me hope when I was lost.

I had to learn what honor meant too. Words and actions like honor, cherish, love, treasure – they had no meaning to me after years of abuse. But honor meant I could say NO. I could make a new choice as to what I would accept for myself, and what I would reject. I had to learn what a healthy relationship looked like. And I had to learn what respect meant and how to respect myself after receiving disrespect from so many.

 

Ways to Honor Your Body:

 

1.  Accept that God made you perfect and stop the negative self-talk.

This negative self-talk led to destructive self-harm for me. I had to ask God to quiet the voices of the Enemy of my soul. And I had to read the Word and learn who God says I am. I had to give God’s Word more authority over me than my past, my hurts, my feelings, or my pain. I even hand wrote scripture verses on index cards and carried them around with me in my everyday life. This way when I heard a negative thing in my head or from some other person I would read and meditate on a verse of God’s Word. It works, really.  I honor my body when I believe what God says about me more than how I feel or what someone tells me or has told me.

 

2.  Start to eat healthier.

I admit it, I love junk food and pizza. And after being depressed for so long I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of taking things away the Holy Spirit has asked me to start adding healthy things – nuts, fruits, and vegetables to my diet. I don’t keep track, I am not a food Nazi. But I have to say that I feel better after adding these things. It is a process and I am glad He is teaching me how to honor my body this way.

 

3. Stop watching smut TV.

Yep. No more. I refuse to entertain the spirit of lust. I will not even watch mildly graphic shows, no soap operas, no dating shows, no let’s swap wives or Hollywood Housewives or anything. I turn them off. Lust leads to all sorts of bad things. I have seen so many people break up relationships or marriages after the spirit of lust moves in. What comes in through the eyes makes residence in our minds. Thoughts become actions. I have seen people throw away what they have to try something they see happen on tv or a movie. And it’s wrong. I choose to shut that door and not entertain the spirit of lust.  I honor my body by not even going there.

 

4. Start to exercise slowly.

I joined Planet Fitness with my teen daughter about a month ago. The first time I went I could only go 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. And with my past leg injury I didn’t even try the treadmill. Can I tell you after a month I don’t have to wear my leg brace anymore! I can go 20 minutes on the elliptical and have even used the treadmill. All from a girl that heard the Dr. tell me, “I hope this leg surgery works or you won’t walk again.” I honor my body by moving it and exercising it. My mood is better. I feel alive again and there is hope. It’s going to be a good season this year!

 

What about you?

How did you learn to ‘honor your body’?

 

Tune in next time for SPRING TRAINING – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR MONEY

 

(Baseball with Heart image is available at puckettspond.com,

Pearl image from derricklphillips.wordpress.com)

Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Healing, Spirituality

Soul Ties

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soul ties 2Imagine a rope holding you to another. You could be attached to a good friend or an enemy. Soul ties can be healthy, like in a marriage or close friendship, or they can be deadly, like in a victim and abuser relationship.  The relationships that we have and have had in the past create soul ties. Imagine leaving an Abuser and still being tied to them after you leave. And what about the child that was sexually abused. They are tied to the Abuser until all the soul ties are broken.  I cannot emphasize the need to break the unhealthy soul ties in your life.  I found myself returning to the Abuser time and time again until the soul tie was broken. But there is hope. It is possible to break these ties with the help of God. There is freedom available to us. And the Holy Spirit will help us in our weakness.

According to GreatBibleStudy.com:

The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn’t use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it’s simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn’t love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through.

 

Here are 6 signs of unhealthy soul ties from Paula White.

  1. An ungodly soul tie produces irrational thinking. Irrational means not capable of reasoning, having lost mental clarity, illogical.
  2. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to evaluate themselves and others according to previous context. They can’t see outside of that relationship or mental paradigm.
  3. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to shut down emotionally.
  4. An ungodly soul tie produces an unhealthy, unnatural desire or attraction to people, places and things, even to the person’s detriment.
  5. An ungodly soul tie will cause a lack of judgment and discernment.
  6. An ungodly soul tie produces the inability to establish and maintain proper adult relationships.

 

Dinah in the Bible was raped. She did not ask for it. She did not want it. But it happened. See Genesis 34 for the whole story. Shechem violated her, and it created a soul tie.

Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her. But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly to her young heart’s wishes.And Shechem said to his father Hamor, Get me this girl to be my wife. Jacob heard that [Shechem] had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field. So Jacob held his peace until they came. (Genesis 34:1-5 AMP)

I wonder if mental illness comes from unhealthy soul ties. It sure would make sense. When we open the door to the enemy with ungodly relationships there is more than one demon that comes in. There is sexual sin. And if you have ever ‘heard voices’ in your head, that is most likely the result of spirits tormenting you.  There is hope – there is a Deliverer who can quiet them and kick them out of your head and spirit and body – King Jesus!

Let’s Pray

Lord, you gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us clean house.  Let us acknowledge our sins and admit that we have ‘tied’ ourselves to idols/individuals whom You never intended us to be united to.  Let us confess and repent of all sexual sins – whether intentional or by force. The enemy wanted to destroy us Lord. But God You are greater! Lord – be our door, be our gate. We let the evil out and the good in. We are called and chosen by the King of Kings. What the enemy has tried to steal will be restored 30,60,100 times over.

Holy Spirit, we need your help in bringing the truth to light. We break all unhealthy soul ties from ________(you fill in names) by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. We ask that all covenants and agreements that we entered into from the enemy be broken in Jesus Name. You are our God and there is no other. Cancel all unhealthy and ungodly agreements Lord. Let those words be turned into dust. Let Your Word prevail Lord – in our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We choose to honor this body that you have come to live in. We belong to you and we will fulfill your plans for us, in Jesus Name.

 

VIDEOS ON SOUL TIES

 

 

(Image credits: www.xmind.net/m/PAyv, endtimeshofar.blogspot.com, jeremyfoster.org)

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Boundaries, Jezebel, Narcissism, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Jezebel the Witch

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Jezebel is a witch. Yes, her father was Ethball, king of the Zidonians, and was both the king and priest of Baal worshipers.  Their gods were Baal and Ashtaroth or Astarte. Ahab installed a temple to the Sun-god in Samaria with 450 priests. Jezebel had another sanctuary erected where she fed 400 of them at her table. Cruel and licentious rites were associated with Baal worship. According to BibleHistory.com

 

Baal (ba’al) was an ancient Canaanite and Mesopotamian deity associated with agriculture. He was believed to be the “giver of life” and mankind was dependant upon him for providing what was necessary to sustain the farms, flocks and herds. He was also called the “son of Dagon” (who was in control of the grain), and “Hadad” the storm god who would provide plentiful rains after hearing his voice (thunder).

 

And the most amazing thing I found in my research today. Ahab was a Jew and King of Northern Israel at the time. Yet he denounced his Hebrew faith and “took her to wife, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.” (1Kings 16:31) There is a great history lesson on Jezebel here:

All the Women of the Bible – Jezebel No. 1

 

Ahab turned his back on God for his relationship with Jezebel. He left his faith, and followed her wicked ways. He was ‘bewitched’ and taken hostage by Jezebel. And he ended up doing things he had not done before – all to keep her approval. Yet, she used him. And all like him.

from http://churchofjezebel.com/
from http://churchofjezebel.com/

Jezebel is out for blood. You cannot negotiate with her. She is not interested. She wants to murder you and your children. Seriously. She is out to destroy true worship of Jesus. She is against the Word. She is a witch and will charm her way in to many people’s lives and churches and businesses.  Don’t trust her. She is not who she says she is. She is a witch.

God gave Jezebel time to repent. And God gives those with this spirit time to repent. God gave Ahab time to repent too. It could be weeks, months, or years. We don’t know.

I gave her time to repent, but she has no desire to repent of her immorality [symbolic of idolatry] and refuses to do so.
Take note: I will throw her on a bed [of anguish], and those who commit adultery with her [her paramours] I will bring down to pressing distress and severe affliction, unless they turn away their minds from conduct [such as] hers and repent of their doings. (Rev 2:21-22 AMP)

If you have helped a Jezebel, or submitted to one in your past, I urge you to break the soul-ties with this person and repent. Jezebel uses her bewitching powers of seduction to lure her victims in and create soul ties. She pretends to be your friend. She lures you in. Then she uses witchcraft, divination, and the spirit of seduction to tempt and entice you into doing something they would normally not do. She sends spirits to torment your mind, emotions, and imagination. She wants to control you. I found myself falling into all sorts of old destructive behaviors when influenced by this spirit. And I didn’t know why. Even after the relationship/friendship ended there was a ‘residue’. I awoke the other morning with a vision of a snake coiled around me trying to squeeze me to death. It was a ‘leftover’ from the Jezebel. I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and commanded it to leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my home, and my church. Soul ties are created in many ways. It’s not just sex that opens the door to a soul tie. According to Jonas Clark:

Soul ties can be created by :

  • sexual relationships
  • emotional manipulation
  • shared life experiences
  • personal tragedies
  • loss of a loved one
  • flattery of the prideful
  • consoling another
  • reaching out to the lonely
  • agreeing with Jezebels’ offenses, hurts, wounds, and unforgiveness towards those in authority or leadership
  • financial crisis

Once these soul ties are established, she has won. Jezebels are Narcissistic. They have no concern for you or your feelings. They are out to conquer and win. They lie and they believe their own lies. The justify everything they do. They are never wrong. And they are incapable of forgiveness.

End the relationship. Change your phone number. Do not allow the Jezebel into your life anymore. It is not just her, it is all the demons she caters to that you are letting in as well – into your home, into your peace, into your head. End it.

Tune in later and we will talk about how to break soul-ties.

 

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Spirituality

Life Lessons from a Teen Driver

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I recently had the pleasure of helping my teen daughter get her final hours of drive time in before she got her drivers license. She took the class and did some drive time with the teacher, but us parents get to help out too, especially with the night driving. Yeah, nothing like handing over the keys right? Anyway, here are my observations from the passenger seat. Got me thinking about the bigger picture and the types of people we all meet on this journey called life.

 

LIFE LESSONS  FROM A TEEN DRIVER

1. The Diversions
Keep your eyes on the road and look forward not back. Don’t pay too much attention to the guys behind you. There will be people who follow too closely, who will tailgate you trying to make you go faster. Ignore them. They are diversions.

2. The Harassers
There will be followers and not all of them are friendly. Some just want to harass you so they follow you around. If the enemy can get you to keep looking in your rear view mirror, you will lose your focus, cross the line, and get pulled over. And you may not make it home. Ignore the harassers.

3. The Time Stealers
Be careful who you allow to sit in the passenger seat. There will be some people who want to just drive them around for no reason. They are the time stealers. They lie, cheat, steal, and come up with all sorts of reasons you need to drive them around. Only there is no fruit. No good comes of it, and you only end up more frustrated. Don’t let just anyone sit beside you – be careful.

4. The Tormenters
Not everyone gets to park in your driveway. These people like to torment others with their presence. The Narcissists, the Jezebels, the Fakers. They barge right into your life and try to take over. They have no compassion and no respect for anyone other than themselves. They are not your friends, even if they brag on about you. They may smile at your face, but there is a knife behind their back. They would love to see you fail.

5. The Gossipers
Beware of who you let in the backseat of your car. Yes, the backseat drivers. They criticize you for everything you do, all while you are trying to drive. They tell you where to go and how to get there. Bossy, condemning, and controlling people like to sit in the backseat. It’s their way or the highway. And they want to drive your car – from the backseat. They don’t want to take responsibility for their lives or happiness, they just want to criticize yours.

6. The Real Friend
They are out there. And they want you to succeed. Let them in. They are the ones who will listen, pray for you, and help you on your journey. They would ride with you anywhere, anytime just to be with you. They like your company and it doesn’t really matter where you go – as long as you are travelling together.

Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Rejection, Spirituality

Journal Entries from a Former Domestic Violence Victim

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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I have not posted on this subject yet this month, but today I want to share a few entries from my journal.  Someone you know is most likely affected by Domestic Violence.  Last I heard DV affects 1/3 women and 1/6 men in the United States.  And I am sure these numbers go up in other places.

I have been in many abusive relationships. Not by choice. I didn’t want to live that way. But, thanks to God, I got the help I needed and my kids and I have been free from DV for about 10 years now.  Being as I have had more than one ‘psycho’ in my life, I will change the names and dates so they don’t start harassing me again.  This is one of the reasons I have not always shared. We do open ourselves up for more harassment if the Abuser finds out. But I want you to know the sheer terror and fear a victim lives with every day.  And it does get worse when we leave, trust me.

One of the things the Police, Lawyers, and Advocates taught me early on was to keep a journal of every abusive thing that happens.  We often have to prove in court that the pattern of Abuse has happened over a period of time.  I have also shared these with Guardian-at-litum – the attorny that was appointed for the kids when I was getting divorced.  It helped me receive FULL custody and FULL placement of my kids.  And it reminds me, of the truth.  Denial is powerful. And so is learned helplessness. Thank you Lord, for deliverance from violent and evil men!

For my protection I will name the Abuser “Joe”, but in my journal I used his real name. These are just a few entries…

 

Journal Entries from a Former Domestic Violence Victim

  • ” I can’t believe how nice Joe is being after this fight.  Take a step back Diana. Remember how nice Delilah was to Samson before she handed him over to be killed?  Don’t believe it. It is not true.  The spirit is not dumb.  Don’t go there, not now, it is not the right time.  The proof is in the pudding”

  • “Joe’s anger is not the issue.  He is angry and abusive to any woman.  It is the Spirit of Anger that drives him. And Joe likes it that way.  But God will be your shield and buckler.”

  • “I can’t believe Joe came to church after I left him. And then he sits down right next to me.  God speaks to my spirit, “Let My works speak for themselves.” The Lord will be my Protector and my Defense.  And then Joe tried to touch me. In the spirit I felt him put his hands around my neck as he had done so many times.  I got up and walked away. God is my Defender and Protector – not you Joe.”

  • “Last night was prayer group. I was praying for my kids. While praying  I spoke against the spirit in Joe. It looked like an Octopus with arms everywhere.  I spoke against in Jesus Name and it crawled into  a corner.”

  • “I can’t believe I slept with the Enemy. And then I married him.”

  • “Don’t respond when the Demons rise.  Joe came to pick up the kids for his visit at my work. Comes over and says, ‘I love you D.’ Those are just empty words again.  I don’t respond.  So then he took my daughter J and went and cut her hair – really, really short. Joe knew I would not have approved. He chose to use her as a weapon against me, and she is only 6. That is not love.”

  • “Well, Joe screamed at me in the parking lot at my work – again. My friend Patty came out and asked if there was anything wrong and if I was ok. Joe kept screaming at me.”

  • “Joe came to drop off kids on the side of the building. (It was a grocery store – we always met in public places for drop offs and pick ups for safety reasons. My youngest was only 4 and still in a carseat). Joe pulled next to me and tried to carry my youngest child into my van. I told Joe he was not going in my van.  I buckled my child in and Joe traps me and the kids in my van. He stands in the sliding door and refuses to move.  Joe says his name is still on the van and he wants it back.  I get a picture in my head of an angry dog – yelling and screaming and barking all while it devours its prey. I backed up out of the van, using my body to force him back and away from the kids. Protect the kids Diana. I shut the sliding van door and got in the drivers seart.  I tried to roll up the window but I wasn’t fast enough. Joe held it down.  I started the car and started backing up – terrified.  Joe finally backed off, got in his car and squeeled his tires as he sped away.”

  • “No more Lord – I release Joe to You.  I took off my wedding ring today and put it in the garage. Deliver us Lord.  Joe called me 3 times that night.  I didn’t answer.”

  • “It’s 40 days since I left. I went back to the park and cried a pillar of tears. I wrestled with God and ‘buried’ Joe and our marriage. The Army used to kill Deserters.  It’s over.”

 

Psalm 35:1-9 (AMP)


Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me!

Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for my help!

Draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. Say to me, I am your deliverance!

Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek and require my life; let them be turned back and confounded who plan my hurt!

Let them be as chaff before the wind, with the Angel of the Lord driving them on!

Let their way be through dark and slippery places, with the Angel of the Lord pursuing and afflicting them.

For without cause they hid for me their net; a pit of destruction without cause they dug for my life.

Let destruction befall [my foe] unawares; let the net he hid for me catch him; let him fall into that very destruction.

Then I shall be joyful in the Lord; I shall rejoice in His deliverance.

 

 

You can learn more in my book SNOW WHITE DARKNESS 

available on Amazon, Kindle, and Google Play

Spirituality, Word from the Lord

A Word From the Lord 9_14_14

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Here is the Word that was released at JAM (Janesville Apostolic Ministries) in Janesville, WI yesterday.  I am blessed to serve here, thank you Jesus.  You can watch JAM videos on Vimeo too. We haven’t really started putting the worship up yet, guess you’ll have to come visit!

 

Word from the Lord 9/14/14

I have done all the work for you
You don’t need to work anymore

I already paid the price
and I did it for you

Today you may be wondering, “Is this real?”
Just receive it

I did it
The work is done

I have done the work for you
I already paid the price
and I did it for you

Today I just ask you to do one thing
Receive me

I did it
all you have to do is open your heart
and let me in
and I will do everything else

just take me in today
your Lord and Savior

into your heart

just answer the door
and let me in

Open the door to me today

I love you

I love you just the way you are

I absolutely love you for who you are

 

Activism, Boundaries, Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Jezebel, Narcissism, Spirituality

Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

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Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

Depression, Healing, Poetry

God Collects Her Tears

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God Collects Her Tears

Copyright 2014 Diana Rasmussen

She’s wearing his old t-shirt
just to fall asleep
Puts her head on his pillow
holds him in her dreams

The hole in her heart
is shouting out loud
Fake smile can’t hide it
She’s so tired of crying

She’s a prisoner of hope
it won’t always be this way
He did the crime
now he’s doing time

Minutes turn to hours
when he’s behind bars
A day’s a thousand years
as God collects her tears

 God collects tears

 

 

You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn
    through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
    each ache written in your book. (Psalm 56:8 MSG)

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Healing, Music, Spirituality, Videos

Happy Birthday Opa!

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Happy Birthday Opa!  This song is for you and Oma.  Your love for each other never dies – you showed us that.  And even though Oma may be dancing in Heaven today, I know she is waiting for you there.  And you two will dance under the moon again.  Love you, Diana

 

Song Description

I knew I couldn’t sing this one – it was ‘too close to home’ for me, so I asked Cyndi to do her magic…she is so talented and brings the heavenly element into this song. Bravo Cyndi, bravo!

 Story Behind the Song

I wrote this one for my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Opa was an Army man and he met Oma while stationed in Germany. They got married and traveled the world from station to station. They had 3 kids – Bob and Rick were born in Okinawa, Japan.  Kris was born in Albuquerque, New Mexico. After 20 years, they settled in Monroe, WI. I met Oma and Opa when I met my husband Bob. Their love for each other has inspired me ever since. Oma passed away in 2012, yet Opa still loves her – their love lasts forever. I know they will dance again in Heaven someday.

 

 

HEARTSTRINGS

I miss you like
The stars miss the sun
Walk down memory lane
I know I’ll run
Into you there

I hear your voice
Echoing my name
I wander in the wind
And wonder if you’re still the same
I come undone
I come undone
Your Heartstrings capture me

Smell the sea, feel the sun
See the stars touch the night
Your Heartstrings capture me
Oh I come undone
I come undone

Break

Linger longer
Rearrange my mind
Please make room for you to stay
As the days slip so quietly away
I come undone
I come undone

I hear your voice
Echoing my name
I wander in the wind
And wonder if you are still the same
Your Heartstrings capture me
I come undone
I come undone

Break

Peace waves
Hope stays
Love lives forever
Love lives forever
Love lives forever

 

Music & Lyrics
Diana Rasmussen
©2014
Melody & Lyrical Arrangement
Cyndi Corkran
©2014

Lyric Credits Diana Rasmussen/Lyrical Arrangement C Corkran
Music Credits Diana Rasmussen/Melody C Corkran
Producer Credits Rasmussen/Corkran
Performance Credits Keyboard