Tag Archives: broken heart

12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

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Recycled Hearts

Feeling Empty?sad girl 2

Feeling like Trash?

Did someone throw away your heart?

Is your container empty?

Have you lost hope?

Do you wonder what happened?

Lift your head my friend – the King of Glory is coming into your situation to heal your heart and restore your life. There is hope. Let Him love on you today.

RecycleHeart

 RECYCLED HEARTS

~Copyright 2015 Diana Rasmussen~

God is a Master Recycler.

Give Him your empty heart – He will fill it with Living Water.

Give Him your hopelessness – He will fill you with renewed hope and promise.

Give Him your old life –  He will give you a fresh, new start.

Give Him your past –  He will open up your present and bless your future.

Give Him your empty bottle – He will fill it with the oil of the Holy Spirit

Give Him your heart – and He will fill it with love.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.  And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. (Romans 5: 3-5 NLT)

napofeature2

(Image Sources: dilsedesiblog.blogspot.com, recycledluv.com)

Sweetie, It’s Not You, Your Dad is a Narcissist

This blog is a letter to my children. I have been married to 2 Narcissists in my life. The Church calls them Jezebel Spirits. Here is my life lesson. In my opinion a Narcissist does not know what love is. It is always all about them. We are not people – we are possessions. And in his eyes, we are here to bow down and worship him.  (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.)

NARCISSIST

1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental
attributes.

To all the children with a Narcissistic Parent:

You are old enough where we can have this conversation. I am so tired of the way he breaks your heart time and time again. Your tears break my heart. Every empty promise that brings you pain gives me pain too.

Can I share something with you? It’s not you. It’s not about anything you did or didn’t do. Sweetie, your father is a Narcissist.

According to Mythology:

Source:Wikpedia
Source:Wikpedia

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.

He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/3f7/44684866/files/2014/12/img_0922.jpg

 

I am here to let you know that I love you. And I support you. I give you freedom to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes. I will be here to pick up the pieces when he degrades you and belittles you. I know what it feels like because he did it to me first.

 

I love you, and I will shelter you under the shadow of my wings just like God does for all of us. Put up the mirror around your heart and let his harsh words bounce off you as they are not true.  You are beautiful. You matter. You are smart. And I love you,

Mom

 

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

(All images from breakingupwithyournarcissist.com, Pinterest, brainwashingchildren.com, lattuera.com, Wikpedia, quotepixel.com, LaHuera.com)

Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

Healing Your Soul – Part 1

Every once in a while The Lord leads you to a message, a Word that you needed to make it that day. My husband Bob has been listening to healing sermons by Evelyn Gipson out of  Life Church in Roscoe, IL. Bob and I went to her Healing School about a year ago. We were so blessed. And we are hungry. We want to be well. We want to be whole. Evelyn has so much Word in her you can’t help but be refreshed when you listen to her. Bob has been on fire these past few weeks just listening to the Word that God gives her! I’m so loving it here!

Here is a link to some of Evelyn’s Discipleship Training:

http://www.lifechurchag.com/page/1/?s=Evelyn

So today I thought I would listen again for myself. His enthusiasm is contagious and I just had to see for myself. I sat and listened to Evelyn’s first message. And WOW! What a blessed Minister of the Word! And then, I went online to find more. Yep, I’m hungry!

So I go the the website and start searching the titles. And God leads me to  this video is by Bev Tucker from the same church. She too is a powerhouse and teaches about Deliverance.  I about fell out of my chair when she did the thing with the rose. It was like 50 years of my life finally made sense.  And so did all those other things she talks about – like broken hearts, trauma, abuse, mental illness, and things like Dissociative Personality Disorder. Seriously, I have never heard a Pastor talk about these things. Yet many of us suffer. And we are starving looking for answers.  That’s why we come looking, seeking for a way to be whole. We know were broken, you don’t have to tell us that…that’s why we came.

Bev’s example made so much sense to me. Think about it. When we get in an accident and go to the hospital the Nurses and Doctors clean the wounds, and attempt to put us back together again.  They are smart, and are using the gift that God gave them to repair and rebuild.

But what about the soul injury? Our thoughts,  feelings, emotions, our personality – how do they get healed? As Bev says, the world and the psychologists and psychiatrists acknowledge the problem. They know what is happening, even down to the chemistry and brain function. They can medicate it, but they can’t fix it.  I speak from my experience. I went to them for years upon years. Yes, I acknowledged how and why I was broken. But can you fix it? I don’t know about you, but all they gave me was more talk about what I couldn’t change (my past) and more pills.

So then I went to church. Still broken, still looking for answers and healing. However most of the time the Church doesn’t even acknowledge or address the brokenness in a person. And we have the answer. The only way a person can be made whole again – Jesus Christ and the healing work of the Holy Spirit. But we don’t talk about that part cuz we are so busy “looking good”. Again, my opinion.

The Church is supposed to the the Hospital!

Injury, hurt, trauma, abuse, divorce, witchcraft, drugs, alcohol, whatever – they all leave their mark on our mind, will, and emotions. Even Lazarus needed someone to remove the bandages after Jesus raised him from the dead! Want to be healed? Want that abundant life God promised?

Watch this video – especially the rose part – and decide for yourself.

Peace of Mind at Last

You are always free to make a new choice. Just because you are in a bad situation does not mean it will not change. It will get better – but somethings just have to change.  I have been in bad relationships.  I have been lied to, hurt, cheated on – again and again.  Can I tell you something? IT’S NOT YOU – IT’S HIM.  I was faithful, he was not.  So once I found out – I had to decide. What do I do with this information?

I lied to myself for years.  Pretended it didn’t happen. Until it kept happening again and again.  They call it denial.  As long as I was denying things – nothing changed.  And my silence did not motivate my ex to change.  He just kept doing it.

So I tried the ‘fight’ thing.  But just be ready – especially if you are living in Domestic Violence.  Confronting the Abuser with anything is like lighting the wick on a bomb.  It gets worse.  And it did.

I finally got the courage to leave – and say NO – YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS TO ME ANYMORE! I don’t care what you do with your life – but I am not going to be part of your sick cheating self anymore!   No, I couldn’t change him. But I could change me.  And an unfaithful husband is no husband at all.  I thought I had a marriage – but he didn’t.  I though he was faithful – but he wasn’t.  I thought he wanted a great family life – but he didn’t.  I though he wanted to grow old together – but he didn’t.

My silence was like saying I was ‘ok’ with it – and I was not.

I had to quit lying to myself and make a new choice.

Even if it meant leaving everything.

I wrote a blog post a while back about how a woman finally has enough and leaves the abuser. Enough is enough sometimes. And even though when I and the kids left we lost everything – our house – our stuff – the kids toys – our clothes – our books – our music – etc., it was worth it. That was over 10 years ago. And I can say, God has restored us – in more ways than one!

My friend tmv took my original poem, HYPNOTIZED and made it into a song.  (I also spoke about the insanity of living in abuse with my poem A HANDFUL OF SAND).  I wrote about t here – she has an amazing story of God’s redemption as well. TMV is a 911 survivor who uses her gift to give God praise!  You can read more about here here – WHEN GOD IS EVERYTHING. This is her latest song.

 

 

Peace of Mind

©2014 Words and Music by tmv and Diana Rasmussen
Engineered/Mixed/Mastered by Scott Smith of SAS Recording and Marc Frigo of Frigo Recording

How she’d look up to him
With stars in her eyes
She was so mesmerized
His blue eyes just hypnotized her
She chose to ignore the signs
preferring to adore him

Each time when they’d go out
She’d dress up to look just right
Always dressing to appease
Her job was to keep the peace
But it all began to feel wrong
As he strung her along

She lives with Insanity
Prisoner of depravity
But to end her abuse
Only she can choose

Willpower looks so bright
Away from all of his fright
She could be free and have
Her peace of mind at last
He always criticized her
Found ways to minimize her
No matter what her move
Hed find ways to disapprove
No matter how hard she tried
He always justified it

She lives with Insanity
Prisoner of depravity
But to end her abuse
Only she can choose

Willpower looks so bright
Away from all of his fright
She could be free and have
Her peace of mind at last
Friends kept trying to help her to escape from his hell
That last blackend eye, Became her rebel yell

She Stopped his insanity
No more depravity
Only she could choose
To end her abuse

Her future looks so bright
Away from all of his fright
Now she’ll be free…
She can finally breathe…
She has…
Her peace of mind, at last
Her peace of mind at last

 

 

The $50,000 Cup of Coffee

Have you ever been hurt in church? I know I am not the only one.  This morning God spoke to me that I need to share some things that have hurt me that have happened in church.  Now I am not doing this to bad mouth people. There are good and well meaning people that go to church every week.  There are good Shepherds.  And then, there are others who are not helpful at all.  I know, we are all people, and hurting people – hurt people.

I have a new category on my page, “Hurt in Church”.  This is a place where I share what happened and how I am seeking healing and forgiveness.  I know I have hurt people, and people have hurt me.  We are all human.  But I pray that I can use these hurts as ministry opportunities – and healing opportunities.  Not only to bring attention to what we are doing to each other, but to release God’s healing in all of our hearts.

In many of my stories I may use the 3rd person. And I will not reveal names or places – just situations.  Names will be changed as well. God knows who they really are – and God will take care of it.  But I know for my own healing I need to let these things out – and release them, instead of hanging onto old hurts.

I know I have been deceived – by Abusers in many arenas in my life.  Maybe that is why I always gravitated towards the Charismatic leaders.  Many are good.  But others like to abuse their power.

 

THE $50,000 CUP OF COFFEE

She was living in the shelter with her two kids.  Lynn had recently left the 1969 broken down trailer she had called home after years of abuse.  She was trying to protect her children and start a new life.  She went to the church every Sunday morning looking for hope – and healing.  She walked away from all of her things – left with the clothes on her back and no money.  Seemed wrong – he was the abuser and he got the house – but she was grateful she was alive and her kids were safe.

At night Lynn worked as a part-time waitress at a local diner.  Mostly senior citizens and families were her customers.  She would make on average $30-$40 a night in tips.  Well, except for the Friday Fish Fry.  Then she might make more. A great Friday was worth $75 or so. That’s where she met him.  His name was Tom .

Tom was a widower.  He would come to the restaurant 3-4 nights a week.  He had his favorite chair at the counter.  Being that Lynn was the newest waitress, she usually worked the counter.  She liked it there.  She could talk and get to know whosoever sat down.  Most nights Tom would come in for the special. He really liked the Swiss Steak on Thursdays.

Tom was a Christian too.  Even though he went to a different church, he and Lynn would talk about what last Sunday’s sermon was on.  His eyes lit up every time Lynn asked him what God was doing in his life.  She knew he was sad and lonely and the restaurant was his only place to have a regular conversation. Tom would sit at that counter for a good 2 hours every time he came in.

And Lynn would pull out her little index cards.  One of the ways she kept her wits about her was to write a verse from the Bible on an index card.  She would keep them in her apron and pull them out every time she started to worry about how she would make it – being on her own with the kids, and living in the shelter. “What’s the verse of the day?” Tom would ask when he sat down at the counter. And Lynn would pull out the index card she had written on that morning. She was desperately looking for hope in a hopeless situation.

Then one night Tom asked her, “Hey, what church do you go to?”  Lynn told him, and asked, “Why do you want to know?”  Tom said, “You have such a freedom when you talk about God. I want to come visit.”  Lynn poured him another cup of coffee.

It was a few weeks later that Tom finally showed up.  He looked ragged and beat down.  But he came.  The next Thursday he came back to the restaurant.  Lynn poured him his usual coffee and ordered his Swiss Steak.  Then he told her.  “Hey Lynn, did your Pastor tell you what I did last week?”  Lynn looked at him sort of puzzled.  “No, He didn’t say anything.”

Tom hesitated, and then took a breath. “Well you see, I recently lost my business and I had to sell a building I owned.  I don’t want to pay the capital gains tax so I chose four churches to split the money with.  I just gave your Pastor a check for $50,000.”

Lynn was speechless. She stood there a moment with the coffeepot frozen in her hand.  Her mind was spinning.  Finally she spoke, “Really Tom, that is absolutely amazing!  What a generous gift.  I can’t believe you did that.  You see our church has been renting space for the last um-teen years, maybe now they can build.  Thank you so much Tom. Here, have some more coffee – on me!”  Lynn bought his dinner that night – just to say thank you.  It was a small gesture, but Tom appreciated it.  Who knows the last time someone bought him dinner?

That Sunday Lynn went back to church.  She expected the Pastor to make an announcement and thank her for bringing Tom to church.  She thought the $50,000 check would finally bring her some acceptance into the ‘inner circle’.  Being that it was an independent church only the Pastor and his chosen men knew the finances.  There were no open books there. Yet the Pastor didn’t say a word.  So she waited, and waited.  And Lynn kept working, making $30-$40 a night.  And bringing Tom coffee when he came to the restaurant.

After about a month Tom came back to Lynn’s church.  It was then the Pastor took him up front and thanked him for his generous contribution.  The applause rang out and we were all grateful.  Such a generous gift. There were promises of getting a new building, promises of supporting missionaries, promises of how they could now help so many people.

Lynn sat in the congregation fuming.  She couldn’t believe it.  She was the one who had poured the coffee – for months.  She was the one who fed this man night after night. And the Pastor was acting like she didn’t even exist.  He never even told her thank you.  He never acknowledged her. He never told her that her pouring coffee and listening to Tom had helped him and his church. The Pastor took all the credit for bringing Tom to church. He said he knew him, and there was no mention of Lynn. The Pastor and the men had their private meetings and Lynn has no idea what they did with all that cash.

Lynn was disappointed.  I mean really. A$50,000 cup of coffee. The Pastor wouldn’t even acknowledge her or say good job. Lynn wasn’t looking for a hand out.  She was working hard to make her own way – without help from anyone.  She didn’t ask for help her with rent, or gas, or food.  Oh occasionally one or two people would give her a $20 bill on Sunday.  Maybe they thought that would do it.

Lynn got a second job, and then a third.  All while she went through the divorce.  And lost everything.  She got help from the Salvation Army and they helped her get into Section 8 housing.  She moved into an apartment with her kids and a blanket and a pillow.  Her and the kids didn’t even have beds.  After a while she had to quit the restaurant. Her second job started at 6 am and she had to have the kids at daycare at 5 am.  Working until 11 pm just wasn’t feasible anymore.

She told Tom on her last night, “Thanks again Tom. You have sure been a blessing to XYZ Church.  I pray that God restores to you everything you have given 30, 60, 100 times over. God bless you my friend.”  She turned in her apron and walked out of the restaurant – and out of XYZ church.

 

seek justice
Source: Pinterest

 

Finding Hope on a Dead End Road

DAILY PROMPT – REASON TO BELIEVE

In Reason to Believe,, Bruce Springsteen sings, At the end of every hard-earned day / people find some reason to believe. What’s your reason to believe?

 

What a great prompt.  Why do you believe? Well, let’s see.  I lived 40+ years NOT believing in a God who cared about me – that ended in divorce, depression, suicide attempts, and hopelessness.  And a husband who loved power and control and drinking and drugging. I had come to the end of myself.  I didn’t have any more answers.  Everything I thought I knew had lead me to a Dead End Road. I hated myself, I hated my life, and I didn’t want to go on one more day.

It was there that I had to admit I didn’t know it all.  I didn’t know how to live.  I didn’t know what love was. I didn’t know who God was. And that was my open door.  For God to reveal to me who He really was, and show me how I could live in my own skin.  And it was there, with Him, that I learned what love was – a person, Jesus Christ.

Hope was born for me on a Dead End Road.

 

isaiah_41_10_by_kc_lynne-d4iq28r

DEAD END ROAD

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen
Mixed/Mastered by Chameleon

What do you do
when he just walks out?
And goes back to the hell
where you pulled him out?

What do you do
when he just walks out?
And goes back to the hell
where you pulled him out?
Booze and drugs have called to him
and He’s followed them again
And He’s flirting with death
walking on a dead end road

Yes He’s flirting with death
as he’s walking on a dead end road

He takes all the money
and turns off his phone
Disappears for days
will he make it home?

Yes he’s dancing with the Devil on a dead end road
Yes he’s dancing with the Devil on a dead end road

 

 

GOD’S WORD FOR YOU:

Reach Out to God

“Still, if you set your heart on God
    and reach out to him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
    and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
    and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You’ll forget your troubles;
    they’ll be like old, faded photographs.
Your world will be washed in sunshine,
    every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you’ll relax, confident again;
    you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world,
    you’ll be hunted out by many for your blessing.
But the wicked will see none of this.
    They’re headed down a dead-end road
    with nothing to look forward to—nothing.” (Job 11:13-20 MSG)

 

MY PRAYER FOR YOU:

Dear Lord,

I thank you that even when we end up on a Dead End Road you will meet us there.  You knew we would end up here and You came anyway.  Thank you for the hug and the promise that with Your help things will not stay this way.  Thank you for the deliverance you provide for us and for those we love. Thank you for giving us fresh hope and fresh strength to turn around and walk with you to new lands and new opportunities, in Jesus Name.

Second Fiddle – NaPoWriMo Day 14

But those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

 they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:31 NIV)

fiddling
fiddling (Photo credit: Barbara.K)

Second Fiddle

©2014 Diana Rasmussen

Like a rope pulled back and forth in a tug of war
Like a soccer ball bounced from head to toe
Like a flyaway foul ball in a baseball game
His perfect family’s up in flames

He’s caught in the middle
playing second fiddle

Like a chess pawn sacrificed for the King and Queen
Like a hail mary pass thrown to the end zone
Like a basketball player in a zone defense
He’s double teamed, tackled, or  he’s benched

He’s caught in the middle
playing second fiddle

His folks are sitting on
opposite sides of the fence
all while he tries not to take sides

He’s caught in the middle
playing second fiddle

Life is messy
Just don’t quit
God is greater

Our Mistakes Serve a Purpose – There’s No Such Thing as Perfect People

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Our Mistakes Serve a Purpose. Really. You mean you can use that? Seriously? God promises to restore all things and to turn things around. If we really were those perfect people we thought about would Jesus have had anything to save us from? Would He even have had to come to Earth for our salvation?  Let us look up, let grace be enough, and be changed – by a Perfect God!

“Perfect People” by Natalie Grant

 

Never let ’em see you when you’re breaking
And never let ’em see you when you fall
That’s how we live
And that’s how we try

Tell the world you’ve got it all together
And never let ’em see what’s underneath
We cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There’s no such thing as perfect people
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God, yeah

Suddenly it’s like a weight is lifted
When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you’ve been
And you never have to go there again, no

There’s no such thing as perfect people
And there’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Who lived and died to give new life
To heal our imperfections
So look up and see love
And let grace be enough, oh

There’s no such thing as perfect people, yeah
There’s no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

By a perfect God, yeah
By a perfect God, yeah
By a perfect God
By a perfect God

Be changed by a perfect God
Be changed

Songwriters
WEST, MATTHEW JOSEPH/MIZELLE, CINDY/BARTON, JASON

Published by
Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.

Read more: Natalie Grant – Perfect People Lyrics | MetroLyrics

 

“But you shall be named the priests of the Lord,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.

Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.”  (Isaiah 61:6-7 NKJV)

Merry Go Round

Merry Go Round

Copyright 2013 Diana Rasmussen

Plastic horses
With painted smiles
Stuck on a pole
Going up and down
Repeatedly
Traveling around
In a circle
Going nowhere
Forever chasing
Each other
Without ever
Reaching a
Destination
What’s so
Merry about
This go round?

From: http://wallpaper-backgrounds.net/merry-go-round-wallpaper/

photo from:

http://wallpaper-backgrounds.net/merry-go-round-wallpaper/

A Handful of Sand

A Handful of Sand

Handful Of Sand

Copyright 2013 Diana Rasmussen

His cover is totally blown
All his secrets are known
With hang up calls
Ringing their home phone

All she has is a handful of sand
Falling through her fingers
The tighter she grips
The more she loses
Just a handful of sand

Accepting the finality
Of his depravity
She refuses
false reality

All she has is a handful of sand
Falling through her fingers
The tighter she grips
The more she loses
Just a handful of sand

Like a snake slithering in the grass
A man with two faces is dangerous

All she has is a handful of sand
Falling through her fingers
The tighter she grips
The more she loses
Just a handful of sand

MY PRAYER FOR YOU:

Dear Lord,

There are so many of us that have been lied to, and cheated on.  Adultery, cheating, lying, unfaithfulness, sneaking around – whatever. What they did was wrong, you know it and we know it.  Help us Lord.  We don’t know how to fix this mess.  How can we trust again? What do we do? Where do we go from here?  Looking to You for answers…

(P.S.  I do not know who I was supposed to share this with tonight.  Just know you are not alone.  I have been there too.  And yes, it was wrong.  When my ex cheated on me I had to decide – should I stay or should I go? Was counseling an option? Did he want to change? I couldn’t change him, or fix him. He did not know what love was.  And he didn’t want to stop and learn either. I couldn’t make him love me. It wasn’t about me – a hard heart doesn’t let anyone in, even me. And some people do NOT want to change.  And I was worth more than that – and so are you beloved.)