I ran into a girl the other day with scars on her arms. My heart dropped. I know what that feels like to have no hope. To take the pain that you are feeling out on yourself. To sit in the bathroom with the door locked and just sit on the floor rocking back and forth. When we have been through unexplainable trauma that is how we cope. But I am living proof that it doesn’t have to stay that way.
My life changed when I found a support system of friends and God. Yes, God. Reading the Word bring me hope. It opens my mind to the fact that there is a God and He cares about me even when others do not.
Don’t give up my friend. There is hope. There is life, a life more abundant than you ever imagined. A life where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more hurt. Have you met my friend Jesus? He is faithful. He is true. He is peaceful. He brings hope and healing and protection under the shadow of his wings. And He is waiting for you to call out His name for help today. He stands at the door and knocks. Will you let Him in?
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. – REVELATION 3:20 nkjv
I See the Scars
Copyright 2016 Diana Rasmussen
I see the scars upon your arms
My heart skipped a beat as I thought of what I could say
To take away the pain that brought you to that place
How I wish I could change the things that you’ve been through
I’m here today to sit and listen if you choose to share
In the aftermath of the deaths in Orlando – let us call upon the god who protects us from violence. our prayers go out to all the victims and their families. there are no words to speak in the aftermath of senseless violence. God hates evil and he will repay…
Not my circus, not my monkeys. What do I mean by that? I don’t have to play. I don’t have to answer. I don’t have to pay the admission to join another person’s craziness. I am not the Savior. It is not my job to fix them. Now that is freedom!
If you are living in the crazy room, I invite you to take a step back. I had to reclaim responsibility for my life and my choices. I gave my power away to the enemy of my soul for too long. No more. God gave it to me – not him! I had to “own” my life. I had to come to the realization that living in abuse was harmful – for me and my children. And I had to ask for help. The local DV shelter was my haven – and I finally got 30 days of rest.
I can’t tell you how peaceful it was – even living with 10-12 other moms and their kids. I finally had room to breathe. I finally had space to just be. And I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody. I got to choose my future. Go back for more of the same, or trust God and move forward without the Abuser. Thank you Lord for helping me get out of that circus!
Feeling trapped? Call for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Your story isn’t over yet!
“Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.”― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
“Never let a man put his hands on you without your permission.”― Melda Beaty, Lime
“Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he’s got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen – the queen of the home she makes for their children.” ― S.M. Stirling, Dies the Fire
Can I get a testimony? Does God really still deliver people? I mean I remember Noah and Abraham, and even Daniel and those lions. But does He really still do that kind of thing? My testimony is yes and amen!
So, how did I get here you ask?
Diana’s testimony of the goodness of God and his people:
I have lived in abuse, years upon years, relationship upon relationship. I have been married – (more than once), and I have been divorced – (more than once) to abusive men. I have been to the shelters, time and again. I have had restraining orders, had them broken, and called the police again. I have been to court more times that I can count. I have fought for my children and their rights for child support. I have had suicide attempts and thank you Lord, I did not succeed. I have been to the Mental Health Ward – more than once. I have gone to the counselors, taken the “happy pills” and lived in ‘la-la land” for months at a time. I have been treated for depression and at one time in my life , I did not get out of bed for 6 months. I have lived through 10 years of “meetings” and I’m still here!
I didn’t grow up in church. I knew there was a God, but I really didn’t think he wanted anything to do with me – not after what I had done. I viewed God like any other man I had met – a control freak who was out to hurt me. Until that last time at the shelter. My kids had drawn some pictures with the children’s counselor that rocked my world. They made me cry, and finally see the truth of abuse that we had been living in.
By Diana Rasmussen
It was there in the Domestic Violence shelter that I said, “OK maybe I don’t know you God – can you just show me who you really are?” And things started changing. Our 30 day stay at the YWCA was lengthened to 40 days. And I was accepted to a new program at our local Salvation Army called Project Breakthru. It was a year and a half program and if I completed the classes they would help me with rent. I only paid 30% of my income. At the time I was waitressing – part time. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it. But God made a way – we had our own 3 bedroom apartment within a week.
Over the course of the next 18 months I had taken classes on budgeting, nutrition, Life Changing Courses, and more. Also went through another divorce another restraining order, and umpteen times to court to fight for child support. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
I have laughed, I have cried, I have believed, and I have doubted. But through it all, God has been faithful. He has made a way for me and my children where there was no way. He has protected me and my children supernaturally, more than once. He has provided for us faithfully – oh the stories I could tell. He has restored my peace of mind. I am no longer taking any ‘happy pills’. I do not hear “the voices” in my head that used to scream things at me, or whisper and laugh at me. I do not live in the land of shame and guilt anymore. And most importantly, my children and I are safe. No more fear, no more hurt, no more abuse. We have changed addresses!
I am not that same person I used to be. But I had to learn what healthy relationships were. And I had to learn to establish boundaries in my life. Today, I do not live in fear. Today I am not a victim of abuse, I am a beloved daughter of the King. I am life that God has touched, rescued, and changed. I know that God exists, He saved my soul from the pit. He protected me and my children, He rescued and delivered us, and I know He will do it for you too!
Here is my new Gravatar, just so you know it’s me. It’s from Genesis. Remember when Noah sent the dove and it brought back an olive branch? Proof that the new land was ready for habitation and that the flood was over!
Congrats to Secret Angel! I would recommend this book to anyone who has been abused or lived in domestic violence. Her book has helped me to heal, and go from brokenness to wholeness!
She lived in the trailer right across the street
not much of a neighbor she kept to herself
When the sun went down the fights would start
noises travel in a trailer park
I went over one day with cookies in hand
saw the fear in her eyes said
I’m afraid for you
I heard what he called you last night
what he’s doing just isn’t right
My door’s always open
anytime day or night
I’m afraid for you
That night he came home
smelled something amiss
he started screaming and yelling
I heard punching fists
Afraid for my friend
I called 911
it was time for
this to be done
I’m afraid for you
I heard what he called you last night
what he’s doing just isn’t right
My door’s always open
anytime day or night
I’m afraid for you
She stood in the driveway
blood on her white gown
cops took him away
when I said
I’m afraid for you
I heard what he called you last night
what he’s doing just isn’t right
My door’s always open
anytime day or night
I’m afraid for you
IN A NEW POST CREATED SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PICTURE THAT MEANS ESCAPETO YOU.
My post is not all happy and cheerful today. The word “ESCAPE” has a different meaning if you have ever lived in an abusive home. These pictures were drawn by my young children at our last stay at the Women’s Shelter. They tell the whole story. It was what finally gave me the courage to leave – I saw what they saw…
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