Tag: Abuse

Jezebel Abuses Grace

The spirit of Jezebel loves to control others and take advantage of any situation. I have know many people in my life who have displayed this type of personality. You know the type:  their way or the highway, always two faced, constantly a drama queen. They love to be the center of attention and will sacrifice others to get the admiration of who they desire.  Sometimes people call them Narcissists.

Have you ever run into this kind of person?

Jezebels abuse grace. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. There is no grace with a Jezebel. There is no love, no loyalty, no honor.  They will be nice to you in one moment and then turn around and gossip behind your back. You will feel the knife go in as they do it. Then they will walk over like nothing happened.  No wonder God wants us to get rid of this spirit.

God gave her time to repent – she did NOT want to. Lets be real. Jezebels get what they want by manipulation and control. They do not want to change. It is working for them. The like feeling superior and better than – and they will ‘kill’ anyone who gets in their way.  They lie, they cheat, they steal, they slander, they gossip, they set up master plans to destroy – whatever it takes to get their way.

In the Bible Jezebel even killed to get her way. She set up a scheme to get Naboth killed so she could have his vineyard. See 1 Kings 21 for the whole story. There is always a plan with this type of person. They thrive on manipulation.

My point here – there is no grace with Jezebel – unless it’s part of a bigger plan. Beware my friends. There is always more to the story when this spirit is involved.

source: watchmanreports.com

To the church in Thyatira
‘To the angel of the church in Thyatira write:
These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.


Nevertheless, I have this against you: you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds. – Revelation 2: 18- 23 NKJV

 

 

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Characteristics of psychopaths | The Tyranny of Psychopaths

“They lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get their way. For them, it is a practical matter.” How I wish someone had taught me these things before I started dating for the first time. Life was always a game with men like this and they would do anything to win. Lesson learned.

No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges

Psychopathy causes more social social distress and disruption than all other mental disorders combined.Power elite psychopaths can be charming, charismatic, and intelligent. They are often seen as great leaders. They have powerful personalities with an almost a hypnotic ability to persuade and command people to do what they want. They can be smart, even scary smart—but in a devious, Machiavellian way. They are con artists who present a false image to the world, an image that they know will gain favorable attention.

Their emotional life consists of the gratification of acquiring, consuming, and possessing the best of everything, the thrill of conquest, the frustration of losing a fight, the triumph of defeating enemies, and the glory of egomania.

But above all, they live to conquer and to win. Psychopaths love battles—for them, it is a game. They go from one challenge to the next. They love winning and prizes, recognition and fame. They love privileges and exclusive clubs. They believe they are entitled…

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12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

Stand Up and Be Strong

It has been said that as a man thinks he is in his heart, so he is. If you think you are a victim, and refuse to take a step forward, you might stay a victim. Overcoming this mentality has taken me years. After living in domestic violence for years I had given away all my power – to the Abuser. It didn’t happen all at once, it was a little at a time. I worshipped him. I did whatever he said, or else I had to “pay the price”. I thought he would change. I was wrong. He didn’t want to change. It was me that neede to change. I had allowed myself to remain in an unsafe situation for too long.

I had to learn a new way to think. My thinker was broken. This was the first step for me in becoming whole. In my “infinite wisdom” I sought out self-help books. I had a whole library! Years later, I had to admit that my self-help was no help. In fact I got even more depressed.

i went to counselor after counselor next. Yes, this helped, but it always keep me living in the past and rehashing everything. I wanted a future! This was not my answer either.

Then I tried the 12 step meetings. Now maybe your experience was different, but mine was a nightmare. I was so naive. I really believed everything people said. Needless to say, after another 10 years of my life passed me by and another failed marriage, I left. Not everyone that goes to those meetings wants to get well. Some want to stay sick and use the meetings to justify their bad behavior. Lesson learned.

It wasn’t until I learned about Jesus and who he truly was the things started to change for me. Reading the Word and memorizing verses literally renewed my mind. Really, it was the only way that I learned how to stand up for myself and my children and be strong.

Today I am no longer a victim. I am victorious in Christ. And I and my kids are free from living in violence. Yes, it took time. But it was worth it. And I am not the same person I used to be. I am not a doormat. I am blessed, and loved, and cherished, and precious – and so are you.

There is a way out if you are living in domestic violence. Take a step and tell someone what is really going on behind closed doors at your house. You are worth it, whether the Abuser thinks so or not. He’s a liar anyway, don’t believe the garbage that comes out of his mouth. God is faithful and true, and He will sing over you!

 

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(All images from Pinterest)
 

Snow White Darkness – NaPoWriMo Day 4

This is a poem that I turned into a song that describes what it is like to live in Domestic Violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men live like this everyday. And also a video that some of my friends did with CSpan about helping those living in abuse. Help us Lord to break the yoke of oppression in their lives and shine Your Light into their darkness, in Jesus Name.

His Castle

SNOW WHITE DARKNESS

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar
like steam on the glass, shame covers her past
the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds
His worst fantasy, her reality
he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things
a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion
He veils perversion, forcing her coercion
her body he takes, while she flies away
unbelievable, she’s invisible
love is the shadow, that darkens her window
she’s crying for help, to escape her hell

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog
hates her behavior, craves one to save her

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

 

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

 Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58:6-9 NKJV)

 

 

This is also the title of my book – SNOW WHITE DARKNESS – Smothered by Control.  It contains my journal entries from when I was living in abuse. Thank you Lord for deliverance for me and my children!

Snow White Darkness Cover

 

And here is the Album – available from GooglePlay. Thank you in advance for your love and support!

Snow White Darkness Cover

“And now for today’s prompt (optional, as always). Love poems are a staple of the poetry scene. It’s pretty hard to be a poet and not write a few – or a dozen – or maybe six books’ worth. But because so many love poems have been written, there are lots of clichés. Fill your poems with robins and hearts and flowers, and you’ll sound more like a greeting card than a bard. So today, I challenge you to write a “loveless” love poem. Don’t use the word love! And avoid the flowers and rainbows. And if you’re not in the mood for love? Well, the flip-side of the love poem – the break-up poem – is another staple of the poet’s repertoire. If that’s more your speed at present, try writing one of those, but again, avoid thunder, rain, and lines beginning with a plaintive “why”? Try to write a poem that expresses the feeling of love or lovelorn-ness without the traditional trappings you associate with the subject matter.”

napofeature2

The Fire Falls Despite the Roots of Jezebel

Jezebel is a spirit. But where does it come from? That’s what I want to know. Why was she so hell bent on destruction? Why is she so against the Prophets of God? She must have got that way somehow. Yes, her Father led her the wrong way. She followed him into witchcraft and sorcery. It was her choice. And she led many astray.

But you know the interesting thing? There was a great man of God, Elijah, who displayed the powers and wonders of our God during her lifetime. God was there. And then it hit me:

Where there is an Elijah – there is a Jezebel.

 

Where there is a huge prophetic movement in a church or community – there will be a Jezebel spirit trying to pull it down. She will do whatever is necessary to divide the community, to push her fake ‘religious’ self and her agenda. And she hates the Spirit of the Living God. She will have those who follow and worship her.

But the good news – Elijah and God win! Elijah called down fire from Heaven and God answered his prayer. Even after the enemies of God poured water on the alter three times.

You cannot quench the fire and Spirit of God!

God is victorious! And the followers of Jezebel died that day. It’s quite an amazing story.  You can read it all at 1 Kings 18. Here is a sample:

 Now therefore, send and gather all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.” (1 Kings 18:19 NKJV)

elijah-calls-fire-from-heaven

 

 And it came to pass, at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near and said, “Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word.  Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”

Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench. Now when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “TheLord, He is God! The Lord, He is God!”

And Elijah said to them, “Seize the prophets of Baal! Do not let one of them escape!” So they seized them; and Elijah brought them down to the Brook Kishon and executed them there. (1 Kings 18: 36-40 NKJV)

 

After Elijah called down the fire of God. God showed Himself strong. And Elijah killed all Jezebel’s followers in one day.  After she heard the news Jezebel was determined to kill Elijah. Elijah had displayed how powerful God was, and how the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah had no power. They all died. Jezebel said she would kill Elijah. But again, God stepped in.

And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” And when he saw that,he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. (1 Kings 19:1-3 NKJV)

Here is an interesting article I found on how Jezebel spirits are ‘born’. I have mixed feelings about it, let me know what you think. It is very hard for me to see Jezebel as a ‘victim’. Yet, there was a doorway open somewhere that let that spirit in.

What do you think?

Babies are born to be normal, loving beings.  This is to examine why anyone, like a Jezebel, would turn evil, or be open to an evil presence, that would dominate their thinking. Scripture says we war not against “flesh,” but against (evil) spirits, and principalities in high places.  We have to remember that Jezebel is a spirit that infects people, who are victims as much as those people they damage by their behavior.”

Read the full article at:

The Roots of Jezebel.

 

Related articles

(Photo Sources: burningfireshutinmybones.wordpress.com)

Spring Training #1-Exercising Our Faith-Honor Our Bodies

Spring Training. All the baseball teams gearing up for the game. Getting ready, letting go of what doesn’t work and training for the new season. I am in a period of transition. A period of spring training. I have had to acknowledge a few weaknesses and change my thoughts and attitudes to learn new habits. I am learning to build my strength both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Spring Training is a New Series I am writing to help us all refocus on our positive goals and exercise our faith.

Like the athletes we all have ‘muscles’ that we need to use or they atrophy. Muscles that have been in hibernation during the long cold winter. And our faith is the same way. It only gets exercised when we are using it. That means there will be trials,temptations and troubles we will get to go through – but they bring forth the GOLD of our faith.  Press on my friends, together we can do this!

SPRING TRAINING EXERCISE #1:

Learning to Honor Our Bodies

 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP)

Taking Responsibility for Our Health

One of the hardest areas for me after a life of abuse is learning how to honor my body. When you have had innocence stolen from you and been raped you feel like trash. The enemy plants thoughts in your head that you deserved it and you will never be clean. And then add Abuser after Abuser who commanded you to do unholy things with your body and your relationship. Add those swine who sought out pornography and the evils it opens you up to. For many years I did not address or even talk about these things. I did not own my body. I let another use it and abuse it. I gave away my power and my self-respect to a pig.

I was married before and I wanted to please my husband so I did what he said. He was sick. I should have said no. It took me years to learn to say that word. Then I was in another relationship with a very sick man who was into the bondage scene (yeah, my own shades of grey nightmare). Let me say that just because a person has money does not mean they are healthy. Some of the ‘sickest’ people I matched up with had money and thought I was a piece of property and something they owned. I went from psycho to psycho as I didn’t believe I deserved any better. I had no boundaries and I thought I was trash. I had no idea who God said I was.

Some of the wisest advice I got from Grandma Pat, a beautiful woman who lived down the street from me. She used to come over singing these old hymns and just listen to me cry. I wouldn’t be here today if she had not taken the time to stop and come over and listen. She told me,

“You don’t have to dishonor God to please your husband.”

 

pearls-before-swine

That was the home run for me. I finally got it. I could choose to honor God first. What those men asked me to do and what I did was wrong. God knows what happened. And I had to ask God to forgive me, and then forgive myself for giving authority of my body over to a swine. Yes, I cast my pearls before swine. And they trampled all over them. Because that’s what pigs do.

I ended those relationships. And didn’t date anyone for over a year. I learned how to take care of me and take authority back over my body. I asked God to break all the soul-ties with the blood of Jesus. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into those dark rooms and bring the deep healing I needed. I met with a counselor for a time and learned that the rape was not my fault. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. I did not asked to be abused. It wasn’t that way in the beginning. It happens over time. And it’s wrong. Not every husband/boyfriend honors his wife. I learned the hard way.

When I was on my own I had to learn how to ‘honor my body’ and choose to be well. I didn’t have to stay a victim. God promised to heal me and I chose to let Him. He turned my victim mentality into victorious. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me hope when I was lost.

I had to learn what honor meant too. Words and actions like honor, cherish, love, treasure – they had no meaning to me after years of abuse. But honor meant I could say NO. I could make a new choice as to what I would accept for myself, and what I would reject. I had to learn what a healthy relationship looked like. And I had to learn what respect meant and how to respect myself after receiving disrespect from so many.

 

Ways to Honor Your Body:

 

1.  Accept that God made you perfect and stop the negative self-talk.

This negative self-talk led to destructive self-harm for me. I had to ask God to quiet the voices of the Enemy of my soul. And I had to read the Word and learn who God says I am. I had to give God’s Word more authority over me than my past, my hurts, my feelings, or my pain. I even hand wrote scripture verses on index cards and carried them around with me in my everyday life. This way when I heard a negative thing in my head or from some other person I would read and meditate on a verse of God’s Word. It works, really.  I honor my body when I believe what God says about me more than how I feel or what someone tells me or has told me.

 

2.  Start to eat healthier.

I admit it, I love junk food and pizza. And after being depressed for so long I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of taking things away the Holy Spirit has asked me to start adding healthy things – nuts, fruits, and vegetables to my diet. I don’t keep track, I am not a food Nazi. But I have to say that I feel better after adding these things. It is a process and I am glad He is teaching me how to honor my body this way.

 

3. Stop watching smut TV.

Yep. No more. I refuse to entertain the spirit of lust. I will not even watch mildly graphic shows, no soap operas, no dating shows, no let’s swap wives or Hollywood Housewives or anything. I turn them off. Lust leads to all sorts of bad things. I have seen so many people break up relationships or marriages after the spirit of lust moves in. What comes in through the eyes makes residence in our minds. Thoughts become actions. I have seen people throw away what they have to try something they see happen on tv or a movie. And it’s wrong. I choose to shut that door and not entertain the spirit of lust.  I honor my body by not even going there.

 

4. Start to exercise slowly.

I joined Planet Fitness with my teen daughter about a month ago. The first time I went I could only go 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. And with my past leg injury I didn’t even try the treadmill. Can I tell you after a month I don’t have to wear my leg brace anymore! I can go 20 minutes on the elliptical and have even used the treadmill. All from a girl that heard the Dr. tell me, “I hope this leg surgery works or you won’t walk again.” I honor my body by moving it and exercising it. My mood is better. I feel alive again and there is hope. It’s going to be a good season this year!

 

What about you?

How did you learn to ‘honor your body’?

 

Tune in next time for SPRING TRAINING – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR MONEY

 

(Baseball with Heart image is available at puckettspond.com,

Pearl image from derricklphillips.wordpress.com)

Soul Ties

soul ties 2Imagine a rope holding you to another. You could be attached to a good friend or an enemy. Soul ties can be healthy, like in a marriage or close friendship, or they can be deadly, like in a victim and abuser relationship.  The relationships that we have and have had in the past create soul ties. Imagine leaving an Abuser and still being tied to them after you leave. And what about the child that was sexually abused. They are tied to the Abuser until all the soul ties are broken.  I cannot emphasize the need to break the unhealthy soul ties in your life.  I found myself returning to the Abuser time and time again until the soul tie was broken. But there is hope. It is possible to break these ties with the help of God. There is freedom available to us. And the Holy Spirit will help us in our weakness.

According to GreatBibleStudy.com:

The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn’t use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it’s simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn’t love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through.

 

Here are 6 signs of unhealthy soul ties from Paula White.

  1. An ungodly soul tie produces irrational thinking. Irrational means not capable of reasoning, having lost mental clarity, illogical.
  2. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to evaluate themselves and others according to previous context. They can’t see outside of that relationship or mental paradigm.
  3. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to shut down emotionally.
  4. An ungodly soul tie produces an unhealthy, unnatural desire or attraction to people, places and things, even to the person’s detriment.
  5. An ungodly soul tie will cause a lack of judgment and discernment.
  6. An ungodly soul tie produces the inability to establish and maintain proper adult relationships.

 

Dinah in the Bible was raped. She did not ask for it. She did not want it. But it happened. See Genesis 34 for the whole story. Shechem violated her, and it created a soul tie.

Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her. But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly to her young heart’s wishes.And Shechem said to his father Hamor, Get me this girl to be my wife. Jacob heard that [Shechem] had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field. So Jacob held his peace until they came. (Genesis 34:1-5 AMP)

I wonder if mental illness comes from unhealthy soul ties. It sure would make sense. When we open the door to the enemy with ungodly relationships there is more than one demon that comes in. There is sexual sin. And if you have ever ‘heard voices’ in your head, that is most likely the result of spirits tormenting you.  There is hope – there is a Deliverer who can quiet them and kick them out of your head and spirit and body – King Jesus!

Let’s Pray

Lord, you gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us clean house.  Let us acknowledge our sins and admit that we have ‘tied’ ourselves to idols/individuals whom You never intended us to be united to.  Let us confess and repent of all sexual sins – whether intentional or by force. The enemy wanted to destroy us Lord. But God You are greater! Lord – be our door, be our gate. We let the evil out and the good in. We are called and chosen by the King of Kings. What the enemy has tried to steal will be restored 30,60,100 times over.

Holy Spirit, we need your help in bringing the truth to light. We break all unhealthy soul ties from ________(you fill in names) by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. We ask that all covenants and agreements that we entered into from the enemy be broken in Jesus Name. You are our God and there is no other. Cancel all unhealthy and ungodly agreements Lord. Let those words be turned into dust. Let Your Word prevail Lord – in our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We choose to honor this body that you have come to live in. We belong to you and we will fulfill your plans for us, in Jesus Name.

 

VIDEOS ON SOUL TIES

 

 

(Image credits: www.xmind.net/m/PAyv, endtimeshofar.blogspot.com, jeremyfoster.org)

Ten Power Verses for Anxiety and Fear

Fear and anxiety are two things that we all have to deal with at some point. And I am amazed at the choices that we have to deal with them. Some people say fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. That may or may not be the case. But fear is also a warning sign that something is wrong. And to ignore it completely is not a healthy response, in my opinion. Imagine someone tried to hold you at gunpoint and you had no fear. Your choice might be to charge at the person, try and overtake them and you may hurt yourself and others in the process. Sometimes fear exists just to warn us that something is wrong. Ignoring or burying an emotion is not a good choice. I have learned this the hard way.

I used to bury my feelings all the time. Never talk about what I felt. It was too risky. When you live with a Narcissist Abuser any talk about your feelings or wants was met with arguments and screaming. Keeping my mouth shut was a learned response – but and unhealthy one. The thing about feelings is they just are. They may be based on true perceptions or faulty ones. But ignoring them and burying them does not help.

I have found that when I buried my fear it would come out in other ways. I would get a strange sickness or injury. Sometimes I would get bad headaches or muscle pains for no reason. It was like my fear was trying to talk in another way. I wonder if this is how people get sick.

I still remember the first time I went for help and the therapist showed me that face chart with all the feelings on it. She asked me how I felt that day. I had absolutely no idea – really. After ignoring my feelings for so long I really didn’t know. And the Abuser was not there to ask. Funny, how in an abusive relationship we even give up how we feel over to the power of the the Abuser. Sad. I see it now, but I didn’t see it then.

So, on my journey I started writing. It helped me figure out how I felt about anything. And gave me hope. And help me figure out that I did have choices. I didn’t have to ignore fear. I could talk about it. And then it lost it’s power. And my anxiety and fears were not monsters anymore – they were just feelings.

Here are some verses that helped me acknowledge my feelings and deal with them in a healthy way.

 

Phil 3_13

10 Power Scriptures for Anxiety and Fear

  1. Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. (Philippians 4:6 AMP)
  2. Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. (1Peter 5:7 AMP)
  3. Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice. (Isaiah 41:10 AMP)
  4. And now, my daughter, fear not. I will do for you all you require, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of strength (worth, bravery, capability). (Ruth 3:11)
  5. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control. (2Timothy 1:7 AMP)
  6. Now may the Lord of peace Himself grant you His peace (the peace of His kingdom) at all times and in all ways [under all circumstances and conditions, whatever comes]. The Lord [be] with you all. (2Thessalonians 3:16 AMP)
  7. For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP)
  8. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and [p]refresh your souls.]Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. (Matthew 11: 28-30 AMP)
  9. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. (Colossians 3:15 AMP)
  10. Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.] (John 14:27 AMP)

 

His Castle – CSPAN VIDEO

HIS CASTLE was a project that was made by a group of friends in Florida making a CSPAN Student Cam Video on Domestic Violence in order to help spread awareness to the community. This was created by Ivy Leung, Diana Proenza, and Nicole Romeu, students from Terra Environmental Research Institute.

“With the perspectives of advocacy, health care and legal professionals, we stress the crimes of domestic violence and consider the effectiveness of the Violence Against Women Act passed by the legislative branch on the victims of our community.”

 

(Click on the picture to watch the Video on Viddler)

 

His Castle

 

They contacted me and asked to share one of the quotes from my book SNOW WHITE DARKNESS for their narrative video. Thank you Ivy, Diana, and Nicole – for an amazing video of the plight of the Domestic Violence Victim and the effect of the Violence Against Women Act. Great job spreading awareness!

 

To Purchase your copy of SNOW WHITE DARKENSS, my book and personal journey out of Domestic Violence click below:

Snow White Darkness

 

 “Smothered by control
a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
Her tears rolling mist
proof she exists
in Snow White Darkness”

~ Diana Rasmussen, Snow White Darkness

You Are More Precious Than You Know – For Posterity

Here is my response for the DAILY POST – For Posterity

Your blog just became a viral sensation. What’s the one post you’d like new readers to see and remember you by? Write that post.

 

You are more precious than you know. If you are like me than sometimes we let others define us.  I look back at old pictures and it amazes me how I changed my appearance based on who I was dating at the time.  Hey, there is Diana the prep, Diana the biker, Diana the country chic, Diana the Professional, etc.  Can you relate?

I have also accepted so many different labels in my life. Things that just are not true.  I went through the 12 step rigamaroe – my name is____ and I’m a ____ and I will be forever. What a pile of garbage. I can’t believe I bought all that stuff at face value.  No, I am not a ______  – not now, not then,  not ever! God does not say that about me – so it is NOT TRUE! As you can see, I am not a fan of the 12 steps.  I have found them to be pits of very unsafe people. You can read about it here:

 Do Twelve Step Meetings Open the Door to Sexual Predators?

 

powerful-thoughtsIt is true that our thoughts become our actions. But only if we allow it and take those words into our hearts.  Just because someone says something does not mean it’s true. But if you tell an Eagle it is a Chicken – and it chooses to believe that lie, then it will not learn to fly.  Tell a girl she is a victim and tell her she will always be that way –  then she will attract abuser after abuser.  Tell a person they have always been a drunk, are a drunk, and will be forever a drunk – and guess what? They go back to drink. If you tell someone they will be that way forever and they believe it, they will stay that way. How does that help anyone get better?How does that help anyone get better? Hence, my dislike for any ‘program’ that exalts itself above the WORD of God.

YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN YOU KNOW.

  • All those labels people tried to get you to wear – let them fall to the ground.

  • All those things people said about you – they weren’t true – let them fall to the ground.

  • All those words you said to yourself after believing those lies – let them fall to the ground.

 

Ok, now for my spunky part. Idk why I do this. I guess I am just not afraid to say what I feel needs to be said. And I have been on both sides of the street, so perhaps I am not ‘indoctrinated’ too badly.

Give grace, love without regret, and live – be happy – it drives them crazy!!

And a bit of advice for all the Finger Pointers, Acpridecusers, Pharisees, and Liars out there:

  • Demeaning others and calling them names does not motivate people to change.
  • Telling someone they will ‘always be that way’ – does not motivate people to change.
  • Shaming someone and calling them their ‘sin’ does not motivate people to change.
  • Talking about how holy and righteous you are and how others just need to ‘shape up or ship out” does not motivate people to change.
  • Gossiping about others does not motivate people to change.
  • Throwing the ‘get right with God or else you’re going to hell’ does not motivate people to change.
  • God msinnersakes me new everyday – I refuse to accept your picture of who you think I am.
  • Your warped picture of me is not who I am.  Those words you called me are bouncing right back to you.
  • I am a work in progress, and so are my brothers and sisters. I am more than what I do or don’t do. So is the rest of the family. We all have ‘stuff”. And guess what, God already knows about it! And He loves us anyway – stuff and all.
  • If you don’t have anything positive to say, do us a favor, sit down and be quiet!
  • I will put my trust in God and the Holy Spirit, my helper, will do the work in me from the inside-out.  So put down your stick. It is not helping.
  • We are God’s chosen and His beloved children – that’s what He said. Who said you get to beat up on God’s kids and call them names?

 

pharisee