Healing from Trauma: Finding Hope and Justice

As a former victim of domestic violence rape, and abuse I understand what ‘triggers’ are. It may be a sound, a smell, a memory, or anything that transports your mind back to the moment of abuse. You think that that would go away. I mean really, it’s been over 15 years ago for me. How about you?

I stand amazed that I am even here. God must have had a better plan. Some people are just plain evil. They do things that are wrong and just unspeakable. Sometimes I wish I could just strike them down with lightning or something. Then they wouldn’t be able to do ‘it’ to someone else. I seriously don’t know how the abusers live with themselves. They’re hearts really are cold as stone.

Sometimes I wish I could go back with the knowledge I have now. Things would have ended differently then. But we can’t go back. What happened, happened. There was the good, bad, and the ugly. We all have our own trauma’s to heal from. I don’t think you can get out of planet Earth without scars. But what do you do with that trauma?

I tried to bury it, put it in a box and shelf it. That only works for a time. Then it comes out via an emotional explosion. I have journaled, that helped. It seemed like once I wrote it out I didn’t have to carry it. I have spent years in counseling, that helped too. But I got weary of going and hearing, “what’s wrong today?” I guess I didn’t want to talk about the problem anymore, I wanted release from it. I got tired of living there.

And then God…showed up. I’m amazed how he led me to Him and healing. I wasn’t even looking for Him. Truthfully I was mad at Him. “Why?” that was my question. “How could You let this happen?” I blamed God for what an evil person did. God didn’t do that, the Abuser did.

One thing I have learned to do is to ask God to give me justice, not man. I have to trust God enough to let Him take care of things. Otherwise I live in anger, resentment, and bitterness. God promised me He would do it too:

“Vengeance is Mine, and recompense;
Their foot shall slip in due time;
For the day of their calamity is at hand,
And the things to come hasten upon them.” – Deuteronomy 32:35 NKJV

“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge;
    I will pay them back,”
    says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19 NLT

Ok God – I trust You to take care of it. I release this person(s) to You. What they did was wrong, You know it, You saw it too. I trust You to pay them back. I feel a wave of release once I do this. I can move on now. God’s got this.

Another lesson I have learned in my travels is that God will restore the years and the time back to me. I have faith and believe what God says:

“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust, – Joel 2:25

God’s promise in Joel 2:25 implies a ‘recompense. ‘ He can give us fruitful years as a compensation for those in which the locust ate up the fruits of the earth.

God also promises us joy instead of shame. The abusers love to dump shame upon shame on us. They accuse us of the very things they are doing. Guess what abuser? God is gonna give me a double honor just because you were such a jacka**! All those times you called me crazy and stupid. Guess what Abuser? God will renew my mind with His Truth and I will rejoice in my portion! Everlasting joy – yep, I’ll take that, thank you Lord!

“Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.” – Isaiah 61:7

God promised to console us and turn our sorrow into joy. He will give us beauty instead of the ashes.

“To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.” – Isaiah 61:3

Don’t’ give up yet my friend, your story isn’t over yet. God has promised you restoration, joy, and a good life. Thank you Jesus!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.  And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. ” – Jeremiah 29:11-13

If you need help, or know someone who does, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They are available 24/7.