Embracing Faith: Triumphing Over Domestic Abuse and Finding Love

I heard a sermon the other day where the Pastor shared the hard times of their life. Not a watered down, build you up, prosperity sermon – but the real thing, real life. He humbly shared how he still struggles with death and grief, just as we all do. It touched my heart because of the truth of it all. This thing called life here on Earth. It’s hard. It’s not fair. It rips your heart out into a million pieces. Sometimes it just sucks. Yet, in the middle of it all God calls our name. And God promises to be with us through all of it:

“But now, this is what the Lord, your Creator says, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel ,“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you [from captivity];I have called you by name; you are Mine! 2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you. 3 “For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;” – Isaiah 43:1-3a AMP

When I think back to where God has brought me from I stand amazed. There were times I lived in a 1969 trailer with a man that used to scream at me and my kids with the Bible in his hand, telling me I had to do whatever he wanted because God says so. Wow! Thank you Lord for that deliverance!

These days my kids are grown and off living their lives with a better view. They were first hand observers of what we all went through when living in domestic violence. I didn’t think I would ever get out alive. Of course I didn’t tell the kids that. We all learned how to walk on eggshells and not piss off the Narcissist. When living in a traumatic household we all learn to cope in different ways. Not healthy ways though, because there was nothing normal about our home.

I remember going to church sometimes and seeing all the happy couples living their lives. They looked perfect from the outside. But then again, so did I. You learn to put on your ‘plastic smile’ and say ,”Praise the Lord!” to everyone. They didn’t know that on the inside I was screaming, “Help me get out of this abusive marriage!” I was a great secret holder. Kept all those icky feelings stuffed down deep inside – another coping mechanism I would have to unlearn later. (See: I Told Myself This Would Never Happen Again) But, with God’s help and strength I didn’t give up. I found scripture that I would say out loud over and over.

I remember shutting myself in the bathroom with my little index cards of scripture (when the Narcissist was not home of course), “God, you promised I would be somebody’s helpmate. You said that I would find peace and love and happiness – but this isn’t it. Do something to get me and my kids out of here! This is not life at all, I have married and slept with the enemy Lord, Help me!” (See 12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping with the Enemy)

“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” – John 10:10 AMP

God did step in, and gave me the courage to leave with my children. We lived at the local battered women’s shelter for 40 days. That’s kind of ironic, that 40 day thing. I got counseling, and so did my kids. Thank you Lord, even then, You were with us. You never left us, You never forsake us. And You were, and still are faithful. You never stole from me, You never hurt me, You never cheated on me. Yeah, all those things that took years of therapy and lots of time in the Word to unlearn. God’s Holy Spirit still helps me heal those old wounds.

” But when the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby) comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, that is the Spirit of Truth who comes from the Father, He will testify and bear witness about Me.  But you will testify also and be My witnesses, because you have been with Me from the beginning.” – John 15:26-27 AMP

Today I can say it was worth it all. God has restored everything the enemy had stolen. He has blessed me with a Godly Husband (and Pastor, who knew?) who loves me like God does. He is patient and kind. He is amazing, I am so blessed. God has blessed our children, all 6 of them with lots of double portions! Thank you Jesus.

“I will pay you back for the years that your food was eaten by the flying locust, the jumping locust, the destroying locust, and the chewing locust, My large army which I sent among you.  You will have much to eat and be filled. And you will praise the name of the Lord your God, Who has done wonderful things for you. Then My people will never be put to shame. 27 You will know that I am in Israel. You will know that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other. And My people will never be put to shame.” – Joel 2:25-27 NLV

“Now it shall be, if you diligently listen to and obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all of His commandments which I am commanding you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. All these blessings will come upon you and overtake you if you pay attention to the voice of the Lord your God. “You will be blessed in the city, and you will be blessed in the field. “The offspring of your body and the produce of your ground and the offspring of your animals, the offspring of your herd and the young of your flock will be blessed. “Your basket and your kneading bowl will be blessed.  “You will be blessed when you come in and you will be blessed when you go out. “The Lord will cause the enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before you; they will come out against you one way, but flee before you seven ways. The Lord will command the blessing upon you in your storehouses and in all that you undertake, and He will bless you in the land which the Lord your God gives you. The Lord will establish you as a people holy [and set apart] to Himself, just as He has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk [that is, live your life each and every day] in His ways. ” – Deuteronomy 28:4-9 AMP

My hope for you reading this is that you don’t give up just yet. I know it’s hard. I see you. More importantly, God sees you. Cry out to Him in prayer. He will make a way where there is no way. He will deliver you, He promised.

“Instead of your [former] shame you will have a double portion; And instead of humiliation your people will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore in their land they will possess double [what they had forfeited]; Everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice; I hate robbery with a burnt offering. And I will faithfully reward them, And make an everlasting covenant with them. Then their offspring will be known among the nations, And their descendants among the peoples. All who see them [in their prosperity] will recognize and acknowledge them That they are the people whom the Lord has blessed.” – Isaiah 61:7-9 AMP

If you or someone you know is an abusive situation reach out for help. Visit The Hotline today to get help!