15 Quotes About How to Set Healthy Boundaries

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Have you ever read the Boundaries Series by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend? I have to say that this is one of the best books I have ever read. As a former victim of Domestic Violence I had no idea what a boundary was or how I could set one. I never said NO!

I had no idea when to say YES and when to say NO! I was saying YES to people I should have said NO to. I was saying NO to people I should have said YES to. Does this make any sense? Do you struggle to set boundaries in your life?

I was literally a Chameleon. I was so starved for attention that I became whatever the man in my life wanted. I was a prep for the engineer, I was a biker for the biker, etc. ad nauseum. I literally had no idea what Diana liked or wanted. Seriously. I was a doormat.

But not anymore, lol! Seriously, this book changed my life. It really helped me. And NO, they did not pay me to say this. What books have helped you with life? Yes, I know, the Bible. Me too. Any others?

15 Quotes About How to Set Healthy Boundaries

  1. “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
  2. “Emotions, or feelings, have a function. They tell us something. They are a signal….Anger tells us that our boundaries have been violated. Much like a nation’s radar defense system, angry feelings serve as an “early warning system” telling us we’re in danger of being injured or controlled.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  3. “Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.” ― Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend
  4. “When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It’s not your problem. It’s not your responsibility. You don’t have to respond, but I’d like something from you. This frees the other person to connect with you freely and without obligation. When we own that our needs are our responsibility we allow others to love us because we have something to offer. Asking is a far cry from demanding. When we demand love, we destroy it.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  5. “When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free, they live in fear, and love dies.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  6. The most basic boundary-setting word is “no.” It lets others know that we exist apart from them and that we are in control of ourselves.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
  7. “When one person is in control of another, love cannot grow deeply and fully, as there is no freedom.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  8. “The best example of a safe person is found in Jesus. In him were found the three qualities of a safe person: dwelling, grace, and truth.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
  9. “Emotions, or feelings, have a function. They tell us something. They are a signal….Anger tells us that our boundaries have been violated. Much like a nation’s radar defense system, angry feelings serve as an “early warning system” telling us we’re in danger of being injured or controlled.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
  10. “Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.” ― Dr Henry Cloud & Dr John Townsend
  11. “When we ask we are owning our needs. Asking for love, comfort or understanding is a transaction between two people. You are saying: I have a need. It’s not your problem. It’s not your responsibility. You don’t have to respond, but I’d like something from you. This frees the other person to connect with you freely and without obligation. When we own that our needs are our responsibility we allow others to love us because we have something to offer. Asking is a far cry from demanding. When we demand love, we destroy it.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  12. “When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free, they live in fear, and love dies.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  13. The most basic boundary-setting word is “no.” It lets others know that we exist apart from them and that we are in control of ourselves.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend
  14. “When one person is in control of another, love cannot grow deeply and fully, as there is no freedom.” ― Henry Cloud and John Townsend
  15. “The best example of a safe person is found in Jesus. In him were found the three qualities of a safe person: dwelling, grace, and truth.” ― Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend

2 comments

  1. I was a facilitator for 14 years of women’s sexual abuse support groups around the country and I used “Boundaries” in those groups and so many women were absolutely changed by this book, including me. Thank you for sharing and since you don’t have a reblog button I will try to copy and paste this to my http://www.cybersupportgroup.org blog.

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