I admit it. I am back in therapy trying to get my body under control. I am seeing a NeuroPsychiatirst. Now that is a mouthful. The Neurologist sent me there for the tremors and seizures I have been having. They call it FND or Functional Neurological Disorder.
I have found there are multiple ways to treat this. First – they send us to psychiatrity if we have ever had any trauma or abuse in your past. I laughed when they asked me that. I mean I could be the poster child for trauma and abuse, lol! The plan is to reprogram my brain with CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Yeah, I had to look that one up.
“Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of talk therapy (psychotherapy). You work with a mental health counselor (psychotherapist or therapist) in a structured way, attending a limited number of sessions. CBT helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking so you can view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way.
CBT can be a very helpful tool ― either alone or in combination with other therapies ― in treating mental health disorders, such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or an eating disorder. But not everyone who benefits from CBT has a mental health condition. CBT can be an effective tool to help anyone learn how to better manage stressful life situations.”
Secondly, there is a place in Kentucky that offers an inpatient program for CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Kind of the same as the first option, but on steroids.
Lastly, I read of a place in Florida where they take Ultrasound waves and the MRI machine and kill the brain cells that cause motor disorders. Unfortunately, cost is $25,000 and they don’t take insurance. Dang.
I guess I’ll stick with door #1. I see the Dr. once every 2 weeks and I have homework. I have been avoiding it. I am learning about triggers and what happens when I have a seizure/tremors. I have been told I have to identify them and then we get to rewrite the script in my brain.
So, what I am stalling on – writing down the negative thoughts that go through my head in a day.
Wow, I had no idea. It’s hard when you have to think about what you are thinking about. Examine the thought – is it true? What is the evidence? It hurts my head just thinking about it. Seriously, you want me to write that down? Ugggh. I hope I don’t crawl into crazy doing it.
I am not a touchy feely girl. I don’t like emotions. Most of the time I just shove them down into a box to deal with later. I am a great compartmentalizer. Shove it in a box, do what you gotta do at the moment, and bury that box deep down so nobody can ever find it. I don’t want to open that box and relive all that pain. Is this really gonna work? Is it worth it?
Hey God, I know you can renew my thoughts as I read your Word and listen and pray to You. Can you just flip the switch up there? It would be so much easier than this homework!
What about you? Have you ever had to do this? Did it work?
What do you do when your plan gets interrupted? It may be due to a job change, an illness, a change in circumstances, or whatever. How do you respond? I find myself in that exact situation now. An illness has interrupted my normal everyday life and I find myself at a crossroads.
Be Non Active – people resist change and blame and stay stuck
Be Reactive – people jump into the next crisis without thinking things through
Be ProActive and Positive – people put their focus on what they could do, focused on the positive outcomes and took action
I have to admit, I have been the Reactive Person most of my life. I have jumped from crisis to crisis trying to fix everyone and everything and it usually turns into a trainwreck. I never had a problem finding a job – I would take the first one that came along. I always was a bit impulsive.
This illness has forced me to slow down and re-evaluate my life and my job and my family. My kids are all grown and working or going to college now. My Mom duties have diminished and I struggle with the Empty Nest syndrome as well. I am not sure what to do next. I pray and ask God for direction, and then sit here and wait. I have been out of work since last November and on Disability. It is very strange for me. I have worked my whole life on and off with kids. I struggle with trying to keep busy while living within the limits of what I can do currently. I have to fight off the spirit of depression and anxiety in the middle of this mess.
I am back in Therapy to learn some new tools for my toolbox for keeping myself well. We are body, soul, and spirit. I haven’t really taken the best care of myself. It was so easy to put everyone else first when you are the Mom.
How about you? Have you ever had your life interrupted? How did you respond?
God’s Word for You:
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10 NKJV
My Prayer for You:
Lord, I have absoluetly no idea why I am here. I was not ready for this interruption – yet I choose to trust You in the proccess. Show me Your ways. Lead me in the path of understanding. I trust You Lord to lead me through this valley and on to the other side where my cup overflows and I sit in green pastures of peace, in Jesus Name.
Have you ever seen a Swordsmith forge a new sword? I love those old Medieval movies that show that. The Swordsmith takes that piece of metal and sticks it in the fire and then folds it over again and again repeating the process many times. The blade is shaped and sharpened by the Swordsmith. He takes it in his hand and sticks it into the fire and then beats on to make it sharper and more beautiful. All the impurities of the metal are burned off in the fire. Then, when it is red hot, the Swordsmith takes the new sword and quenches it in water, all to harden the blade. There is steam everywhere and the sword is born. The sword was forged in the fire.
I looked up the meaning of “forged” (but not like a check, lol):
1. make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it. More synonyms – hammer out, beat into, shape, found, cast, mold, model
2. create (a relationship or new conditions). “the two women forged a close bond” More synonyms: build, build up, construct, form, create, establish, set up, put together
I like swords. They are used in battle. They are beautiful and magnificant. They are sharp – sharper than a knife. The Word of God is like that:
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. – Hebrews 4:12-13 NKJV
In the Bible, God shares that His Word is our Sword and it is used in battle:
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. – Ephesians 6:10-20NKJV
So just like a warrior holds his sword to defeat his enemies, we are to hold the WORD OF GOD as our sword.
It is God’s Word that will defeat the enemies in our lives, not our own swords or our own effort.
What if we spoke to the enemies in our lives – whether sickness, disease, poverty, lack, depression, etc. and spoke the Word of God to them? Would we then see our enemies sliced and diced and dead?
What if it meant going through the fire first?
For You, O God, have tested us; You have refined us as silver is refined. – Psalm 66″ 10 NKJV
For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is.If anyone’s work which he has built on itendures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire. – 1 Corinthians 3:11-15 NKJV
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls. – 1 Peter 1: 3-9 NKJV
Would you do it? Like those 3 boys, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego – would you go in the furnace in order not to bow to the idols or false kings in this world? Remember, Jesus is there with you in that furnace. And you will come out and not even smell like smoke.
It wasn’t until after the boys went through the fire that the king and all of his followers bowed to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego…that’s when the revival took place, after the fire. The reviaval and the promotion came AFTER the fire:
Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, who sent His Angel[g] and delivered His servants who trusted in Him, and they have frustrated the king’s word, and yielded their bodies, that they should not serve nor worship any god except their own God! Therefore I make a decree that any people, nation, or language which speaks anything amiss against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego shall be cut in pieces, and their houses shall be made an ash heap; because there is no other God who can deliver like this.” Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego in the province of Babylon. – Daniel 3: 28-30NKJV
The Shepherd Savior
“Awake, O sword, against My Shepherd, Against the Man who is My Companion,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Strike the Shepherd, And the sheep will be scattered; Then I will turn My hand against the little ones.
And it shall come to pass in all the land,” Says the Lord, “That two-thirds in it shall be cut off and die, But one-third shall be left in it:
I will bring the one-third through the fire, Will refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them. I will say, ‘This is My people’; And each one will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’ ” – Zechariah 13:7-9 NKJV
There is Power in Praise. God inhabits the praise of His people. The Lord reminds us that when we are feeling down or discouraged or hopeless, we do have a rememdy. We can CHOOSE to put on the Garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
For me, this means that no matter how I feel, I put on my praise. God is more than able to shake off illness, sickneess, discouragement, and depression. When I praise Him – He goes to work and defeats my enemies!
Remember the Israelites? When they s came to the promised land God gave them they marched Jerico around 7 days. 7 days without saying a word. Just march around the city. They saw those walls, they heard the people laughing at them and mocking them I am sure. They didn’t fight back. They just did what God told them. And then, on the 7th day:
“So the people shouted when the priests blew the trumpets. And it happened when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, and the people shouted with a great shout, that the wall fell down flat. Then the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they took the city.”- Joshua 6:20
By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they were encircled for seven days. – Hebrews 11:30
Today, I speak to the mountains of depression, cancer, illness, lack and command them to fall down. Like my husband reminded us today, “If it didn’t want to bow, it shouldn’t have given us a name – because now it has to bow!” We know a NAME that is above ALL NAMES – JESUS!
“For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. “- Mark 11:23-24
“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24
If you need some tunes, here are the newest ones our Church, Janesville Apostolic Ministry are going to learn! Come on, crank it up and put on some PRAISE!
All things are new in Christ. New life, new hope, new ending.
Did you ever wish you could write a new ending to your life story? You can! In Christ all things are made new.
Don’t like your life?
Tired of the craziness?
Weary of guilt and shame?
It doesn’t have to stay this way. There is hope for you and for me. Life is way more than this.
Ask Jesus to help. Invite Him into your mess – He promised to make all things new. He promised to give you peace and abundance.
Let go of the past. That is not who you are anymore. It was – but it is not you anymore. God erased it. It really is finished.
What have you got to lose? I promise – He will do it! If He did it for me He will do it for anyone – including YOU! Jesus came to seek and to save ALL who feel lost.
Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].
But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God].
So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness]. – 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 AMP
It has been said that “as a man thinks – so he becomes.” Yes, we are what we think about. One of the hardest things for me after domestic violence and abuse is learning to renew my mind. I had to learn that just because someone said something to me, that did NOT mean that it was true. Abusers are excellent manipulators and agents for the Enemy. They plant lie after lie in your head and after hearing something so many times, I started to believe it.
You know the Negative thoughts:
You are worthless
Nobody would ever want you
The kids and I would be better without you
You are dumb, fat, ugly, and stupid
You never do anything right
You mean nothing to me
Are you really that stupid?
Can you relate?
Only reading the Word of God has helped cast down these lies. I needed a new tape, a new mindset. I needed a new truth.
Praise God – He is able. He is waiting to meet us and get rid of all the lies. Satan has come to kill, steal, and destroy – BUT GOD is exceedingly abundantly willing to give us a new life with new thoughts and life more abundantly. Don’t be deceived any longer my friends.
Those words spoken over you from the Enemy I cast down and turn into dust in Jesus Name!
For though we walk in the flesh [as mortal men], we are not carrying on our [spiritual] warfare according to the flesh and using the weapons of man.
The weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood]. Our weapons are divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ, being ready to punish every act of disobedience, when your own obedience [as a church] is complete. – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6AMP
Have you ever played with a magnet? It draws metal to it by its nature. It doesn’t have to think about it, do something special or do anything to earn it. it just does it, because that is what it was created to do.
Gratitude is a Magnet for Miracles!
Are you grateful today? If not, make a new choice today. Choose gratitude and watch and see what God will do!
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Gratitude dispels fear and anxiety. Gratitude makes room for God to work!
Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
Sickness. Illness. We live in a fallen world with sin and sickness everywhere. But our God delivers. Jesus came to seek and to save the lost and He heals them ALL. Now it might be here, or it might be on the other side, but He heals them ALL.
“Then great multitudes came to Him, having with them the lame, blind, mute, maimed, and many others; and they laid them down at Jesus’ feet, and He healed them.” Matthew 15:30 NKJV
I do not believe for one moment that God gives us sickness.
Did Jesus ever say,” Geez, I see that you are sick, come back tomorrow.” NO!
Did Jesus ever say, ” Man you really messed up, you better go get right with God before you come back here for healing?” NO!
Did Jesus ever see someone sick and NOT heal them? NO!
I don’t believe for one one moment that God wants to”teach us something” with sickness. That is a lie straight from the Religious Spirit that man has put out there. Not God. He never said that.
God is good and He heals ALL.
” [ Behold, My Servant ] But when Jesus knew it, He withdrew from there. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all.” – Matthew 12:15 NKJV
Do we get sick. Yes. We live in a fallen world. We are living in theses bodies which get run down, stressed out, and sometimes sick. But when that happens there is our opportunity go to God and expect his healing. He promised us. There is no sickness in Heaven. So why do we think we have to be sick here? Like it’s who we are or something. I am not a label. I am not an illness. I am not going to talk about how bad I feel all day. We have the Spirit of the Living God in us – what we talk about will come to pass! No wonder God said to be slow to speak. I refuse to agree with the Enemy of my soul. I have spent way too many years agreeing with the wrong guy.
“But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” – Isaiah 53:5 nkjv
I am tired of the Body Of Christ believing all this stuff. He bore our sickness so we didn’t have to. Do I get sick? Of course I do. I am still human. But I refuse to label myself with this disease or that disease and say “This is me and I am my disease and its who I am.” – and take care of it like it’s a pet. I refuse to feed it. Sickness can shrivel up and die.
I was home today. I did it not well. About 6 months ago I was hospitalized with ischemic colitis. It was bad – blood, cramps, fever, etc. The Doctor said I might have this disease and that disease. I said no. My God says I am healed. My husband and kids prayed with me. my Pastors and their wives came and prayed with me. And we STOOD OUR GROUND. Guess what happened? God healed me. Did I take my medicine- yes. God uses Doctors and Nurses all the time to do His will and heal. Let’s use the help that God gives us and not get all religious about it.
Today, that same sickness tried to come back. I had the same symptoms. I thought.” Great – that same sickness that I had had was trying to come back on me..” I had the heating pad on my stomach all day to feel better. I even lost it for a minute and dug out all my hospital paperwork. My first thought was, “Great here we go again.”
Then I got mad. I stood up to that stupid colitis and said, “NO, you are not coming on me again! Get out of here is Jesus Name. I reject you and these demons who brought you to my door. My God healed me and I am standing in that healing.”God is good, Devil is bad. My God heals. He healed me the first time and you are not welcome here.
Stand strong my friends – no matter what the symptoms. Exercise your faith and watch and see what God will do. This is not the end – only an opportunity to exercise your faith and watch God get the glory in your healing. He promised us healing – either here on earth or in Heaven. And I for one am going to take Him at His WORD!
The Good News? If it has a name it has to bow to Jesus!
“And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” – Philippians 2:8-11 NKJV
I ran into a girl the other day with scars on her arms. My heart dropped. I know what that feels like to have no hope. To take the pain that you are feeling out on yourself. To sit in the bathroom with the door locked and just sit on the floor rocking back and forth. When we have been through unexplainable trauma that is how we cope. But I am living proof that it doesn’t have to stay that way.
My life changed when I found a support system of friends and God. Yes, God. Reading the Word bring me hope. It opens my mind to the fact that there is a God and He cares about me even when others do not.
Don’t give up my friend. There is hope. There is life, a life more abundant than you ever imagined. A life where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more hurt. Have you met my friend Jesus? He is faithful. He is true. He is peaceful. He brings hope and healing and protection under the shadow of his wings. And He is waiting for you to call out His name for help today. He stands at the door and knocks. Will you let Him in?
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. – REVELATION 3:20 nkjv
I See the Scars
Copyright 2016 Diana Rasmussen
I see the scars upon your arms
My heart skipped a beat as I thought of what I could say
To take away the pain that brought you to that place
How I wish I could change the things that you’ve been through
I’m here today to sit and listen if you choose to share
It has been a hard week. I have seen newborn babies born and saying in ICU. I have seen a friend have a family member diagnosed with cancer. A friend has her husband hospitalized. A baby went to surgery this week. A teenager attempted suicide. Teens have had anxiety attacks.
There is one thing that gets me through weeks like these. God is faithful. He is still in the healing business. He still sends the Holy Spirit to comfort us. God sees, God knows, and He still answers our prayers. God is faithful, when the world is falling apart.
These are the times I trust God to get me through the trial. I am not good at trying to do things on my own. I know I need help. God promised to help us in times like these. Just ask, and He will be there – in the middle of the mess, He promised. Choose to trust Him, He is faithful.
“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23
“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:3
“I am the Lord that healeth thee.” – Exodus 15:26
” I will give you strength and bless you with peace.” Psalm 29:11
“He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.” – Psalms 91:4
There are days that the losses of so many in the world just bring tears. So many lives lost for no good reason. May the God of all comfort hold us close tonight.
Especially T – who list her sister at 911.
And my brother and sister and I who lost our Mommy 4 years ago today.
Help us all Lord.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
Beautiful new vocals to this song by Julia Schmidt, and a new mix from Nathaniel Jones of Protilius Productions!