Tag: healing

Sometimes You Have to be Your Own Advocate for Your Healthcare

I admit it. I am a naive patient. I have gone to the same Dr in the same clininc for years. When a problem arose I trusted the Dr to refer me to the specialist and assumed they were talking to each other for my best healthcare. I have learned this is not always the case. Sometimes, you have to be your own advocate for your Healthcare.

I have learned this last year that once a Dr sends you off to the specialist, they do not always follow through. They assume the specialist will do what they are supposed to do and they don’t have to deal with it. Then, when more specialists get involved, I thought they would all talk to each other. Not true.

This past year I have seen my Primary Dr, a Neurologist, an Orthopaedic Dr, a Neuropsychiatirst, a Physical Therapist, and an Occupational Therapist. Yeah, it’s been a year.

My eyes were opened when my Physical Therapist, whom I had been seeing for 3 months, twice a week, made it a point to write a special letter to the Neurologist #1 explaining my issues and the difficulties I was having. She shared how my progress was deteriorating and she needed direction on what exercieses I should do next and what Diagnosis the Neurologist would give me regarding these tremors/seizures.

When I went to the Neurologist #1, I asked him about the note from my Physical Therapist. He did not ever read it. I fired him. That is just wrong. So then I went to Neurologist #2. I asked my Physical Therapist to send him the same letter explaining my struggles. She did. Guess what? When I got to Neurologist #2 he had not ever read it either!

Ugggh. Really? So they send me here, there, and everywhere and they are so important that they will not even read what their supposed partners have found? It is so frustrating!

That is when I decided I have to own my treatment and my own healthcare. Yes, they are the Doctors, but many times they are only interested in their own findings and don’t look at me as a whole person.

After 4 MRI’s Neurologist #2 says that I don’t have any lesions on my brain or spinal cord, so there is nothing else he can do for me. He sends me to the Neuropsychiatrst. Pass the buck here. No, that is me, I am the patient.

I have been going to this Neuoropshychaitrist for 3 months now. The seizures are getting worse with FND ( Functional Neurological Disorder) and I am getting more frustrated.

My friend Laura suggested I get referred to another clinic that was associated with a large hospital in our area, UW-Madison. Thank you Laura! I sent a note to my Primary Doctor and she finally referred me to this other place, out of their network, and I will see Neurologist #3 here shortly.

I guess I share this with you because I learned that I can’t believe everything that a Doctor tells me. I have to OWN my health and my healthcare. I was told I would have this FND forever and there is no cure, just live with it. Ummmm – NO! I do not accept that.

Jesus died so I did not have to carry this illness, by HIS stripes I AM healed. And if one clinic is not going to help me get there, then I’ll go to the next one. God has given Doctors the gift of medicine just like Luke. Healing is from God, and sometimes He uses Doctors to administer it. I refuse to belive that there is no cure for this. I refuse to believe that I will be this way forever!

“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved; for you are my praise.” – Jeremiah 17:14

What about you? Have you ever had to change Doctors or Clinics?

God with us

 

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You Want Me to Write That Down? Struggling with CBT Homework.

I admit it. I am back in therapy trying to get my body under control. I am seeing a NeuroPsychiatirst. Now that is a mouthful. The Neurologist sent me there for the tremors and seizures I have been having. They call it FND or Functional Neurological Disorder.

I have found there are multiple ways to treat this. First – they send us to psychiatrity if we have ever had any trauma or abuse in your past. I laughed when they asked me that. I mean I could be the poster child for trauma and abuse, lol! The plan is to reprogram my brain with CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Yeah, I had to look that one up.

According to the Mayo Clinic:

“Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of talk therapy (psychotherapy). You work with a mental health counselor (psychotherapist or therapist) in a structured way, attending a limited number of sessions. CBT helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking so you can view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way.

CBT can be a very helpful tool ― either alone or in combination with other therapies ― in treating mental health disorders, such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or an eating disorder. But not everyone who benefits from CBT has a mental health condition. CBT can be an effective tool to help anyone learn how to better manage stressful life situations.”

Secondly, there is a place in Kentucky that offers an inpatient program for CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Kind of the same as the first option, but on steroids.

Lastly, I read of a place in Florida where they take Ultrasound waves and the MRI machine and kill the brain cells that cause motor disorders. Unfortunately, cost is $25,000 and they don’t take insurance. Dang.

I guess I’ll stick with door #1. I see the Dr. once every 2 weeks and I have homework. I have been avoiding it. I am learning about triggers and what happens when I have a seizure/tremors. I have been told I have to identify them and then we get to rewrite the script in my brain.

So, what I am stalling on – writing down the negative thoughts that go through my head in a day.

Wow, I had no idea. It’s hard when you have to think about what you are thinking about. Examine the thought – is it true? What is the evidence? It hurts my head just thinking about it. Seriously, you want me to write that down? Ugggh. I hope I don’t crawl into crazy doing it.

I am not a touchy feely girl. I don’t like emotions. Most of the time I just shove them down into a box to deal with later. I am a great compartmentalizer. Shove it in a box, do what you gotta do at the moment, and bury that box deep down so nobody can ever find it. I don’t want to open that box and relive all that pain. Is this really gonna work? Is it worth it?

Hey God, I know you can renew my thoughts as I read your Word and listen and pray to You. Can you just flip the switch up there? It would be so much easier than this homework!

What about you? Have you ever had to do this? Did it work?

 

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Here is a great video about FND:

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Get Ready for Your Suddenly Moment

Just an ordinary day right? What if it wasn’t? What if today when you praise and worship God He shows up? Suddenly, everything would change! His presence brings peace, joy, and abundance. He can break every chain and resore every situation.

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Here are 3 examples from the Bible where Jesus shows up and changes everything suddenly.

  1. Suddenly God shows up and gives his people the Holy Ghost

“When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them [b]divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” – Acts 2:1-4 NKJV

2.  Suddenly God shows up and heals Sauls heart. He gives him a new name, Paul, and gives him a new commision.

“Now it happened, as I journeyed and came near Damascus at about noon, suddenly a great light from heaven shone around me. And I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?’So I answered, ‘Who are You, Lord?’ And He said to me, ‘I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you are persecuting.’” – Acts 22:6-8 NKJV

3. Suddenly God shows up and breaks his kiddos out of jail! He breaks every chain!

But at midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were loosed. ” Acts 16:25-26 NKJV

Get ready for your SUDDENLY moment with God! He is the God of Suddenlies!

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Here is a prayer and praise to release your SUDDENLY moment!

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Sovereign Over Us by Aaron Keys

My Pastor shared this song with me yesterday. The tears just started flowing. It really ministered to me. God bless you if you are walking through the valley. Remember, God promises that goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives and we would dwell in the Presence of the Lord forever. Don’t give up, just rest in Jesus.

Sovereign Over Us

by Aaron Keyes
There is strength within the sorrow,
There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning,
With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting,
Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding,
You’re teaching us to trust
Your plans are still to prosper,
You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever,
Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined,
Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens,
Reaching down in endless grace
You’re the Lifter of the lowly,
Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me,
Your promises are my delight
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good,
You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
You’re working for our good,
Youre ‘working for our good and for your glory
Songwriters: KEYES AARON / MOORING JACK ANTHONY / BROWN BRYAN EDWARD
Sovereign Over Us lyrics © WORSHIPTOGETHER.COM Songs, Chief End Music
you are with us

God’s Word is Your Most Powerful Weapon in the Battle

When facing a trial or battle, the one thing that I have found to be my best weapon is the Word of God. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do NOT see yet. I have to exercise my faith and speak the Word of God over my situation.

Yes, I have been battling sickness and infirmity for the last year. The Drs keep ordering test after test and keep adding things to my chart for a diagnosis. (You can read about it here – Living Through a Season of Infirmity) But they are not God. God’s Word says I am HEALED already. I have to apply God’s Word to my body, just like I have to apply the ointment to my body and take the medicine the Dr. gave me.  God’s word will NOT return to Him void. It WILL accomplish that which it was set out to do! Speak it out! Our bodies may be our mountains, and they respond to our own voice. God promised that mountains would move when we SPEAK to them. Say Gods’ Word out loud, let your body hear it – and then watch and see what God does!

Do you have your Word ready?

Do you have the promises of God that apply to your situation?

That is your sword. Here are some of the promises of God I am using to build my faith and receive my healing.

God’s Word for Sickness:

And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and will afflict you with none of the terrible diseases of Egypt which you have known, but will lay them on all those who hate you. – Deuteronomy 7:15

He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions. – Psalm 107:20

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed;
Save me, and I shall be saved,
For You are my praise. – Jeremiah 17:14

For I will restore health to you
And heal you of your wounds,’ says the Lord,
‘Because they called you an outcast saying:
“This is Zion;
No one seeks her.” – Jeremiah 30:17

But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

that word you know, which was proclaimed throughout all Judea, and began from Galilee after the baptism which John preached:  how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him. – Acts 10:37-38

Then He called His twelve disciples together and gave them power and authority over all demons, and to cure diseases. – Luke 9:1

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they  will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” – Mark 16:15-18

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, 
But the Lord delivers him out of them all. – Psalm 34:19

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.  – Isaiah 41:10

 So you shall serve the Lord your God, and He will bless your bread and your water. And I will take sickness away from the midst of you. – Exodus 23:25

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed. – Isaiah 53:4-5

 

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Living Through a Season of Infirmity

It has been a season of infirmity for me these past 7 months. I truly don’t know how I am still here. It must be the prayers of my friends that are bringing me to Jesus. Their prayers are making the difference. Let me elaborarte.

It started in July 2018, a simple ringing in my ear that would not go away. My Dr. sent me to the Audiologist. The Dr. ordered an MRI of my head. He wanted to rule out Brain Cancer. They did their tests and said I had Tinnitus – no brain cancer, thank you Jesus! There was nothing else they could do. Take more vitamin B he said.

Then in September I took a training job at work. It was a promotion, trial period of 3 weeks. I didn’t realize I would be on my feet for the whole time. I loved the job, however my legs went numb from the knees down with stabbing pain in my feet. When they asked me to stay on, I had to refuse due to this medical condition.

I went to my Dr, she referred me to the Neurologist. I did the most painful test ever – where they stick needles in your legs and shoot electricity through them to measure the nerve response. Diagnosis was Peripheral Neoruopathy in both legs. And again, nothing they could do but put me on meds.

I went back to my regular Dr. and she ordered an MRI of my spine now. It was more bad news – Degenerative Disc Disease and Spinal Stenosis (pinched nerves to both legs). They referred me to the Spine Clinic for pain. I saw that Dr. and I have an epidural with steroids scheduled for next week. Hopefully this will work.

In the meantime, my legs started shaking uncontrollably from the waist down. My Dr. has referred me back to Neurology to test for MS in February. Come on, really? I have been off work since November 2018 on FMLA and Short Term Disability. There have been many days I did not even want to get out of bed. I wake up 2-4 times per night due to the pain in my back and legs. I want my life back.

Also, had a breast exam in December – guess what – they found 2 lumps. Seriously? I had to go back for a second time and have an ultrasound – both lumps were benign, thank you Jesus!

Yes, it has been a season of infirmity for Ms. D.  I know that God is able to heal, and I am patiently waiting for my healing. I thank my friends for lowering me through the roof of this pain and into the arms of Jesus for my healing.  If it were not for their prayers, I don’t know how I would survive. Thank you and God bless you all!

This season of infirmity can get up and leave in Jesus Name! I am sick of it! Let the power of the Lord be present to heal!

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Jesus Forgives and Heals a Paralytic

Now it happened on a certain day, as He was teaching, that there were Pharisees and teachers of the law sitting by, who had come out of every town of Galilee, Judea, and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was present to heal them.  Then behold, men brought on a bed a man who was paralyzed, whom they sought to bring in and lay before Him.  And when they could not find how they might bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the housetop and let him down with his bed through the tiling into the midst before Jesus.

When He saw their faith, He said to him, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.”

 – Luke 5:17-20 NKJV

God Will Light Up the Darkness for You

I love candles. I love the light, the smell, the whole ambiance of candles. A candle can light up the whole room with brightness. So can the sunlight. It will flood over the darkness and cast it out. Just like that it is gone. God is like that too.  Jesus has said that He was the light of the world. Where Jesus is, there is light and love.

 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.” – John 8:12 NLT

I have to remember this when walking through the valley of trouble. God is with me.  He will light up the darkness and make a way where there is no way.  His presence alone will bring me new opportunities and new life and healing.

Rest my friend, knowing that the Lord of all the Earth will turn your darkness into light – He promised!

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Here is what I am meditating on this week, when I face more tests and stuff at the Doctor for an issue that has come to light. I know that Jesus is my Healer and He is faithful to fulfill His promises. May the peace and presence of God flood over you this week and turn your darkness into light!

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Even in the Mess, God is Faithful

I know so many people going through trials. I have been there too. It is not always easy to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are sitting in the dark. Sometimes, we lose faith. Sometimes we lose hope that we will make it through the storm. We are human, that is normal. Have you ever been there?

During those times, one thing I learned is that no matter what I was facing, no matter if I had hope or even faith to make it through – God was faithful. Even when I doubted, even when I questioned, even when I did not understand – God was faithful. That is who He is. He does not change.   It is HIS character, not my feelings that determines the outcome.

It kinda blew my mind to think that my doubt, my questioning, my getting angry, or whatever did not phase God. My insecurites did NOT limit his love for me or His Faithfulness. He loved me anyway.

I had to learn to trust WHAT GOD SAID over how I FELT.  Reading the Word gives me hope. Reading the Word opens my mind that God can and WILL change things.

If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself.”  2 Timothy 2:13 NKJV

God is faithful, no matter what. Hold on to His promises. He will do what He said He would do because He is Faithful.

Here are some of the promises I hold on to:

  • God you promised to heal ALL.
  • God you promised NEVER to leave me nor forsake me.
  • God you promised that you would MAKE A WAY where there is no way.
  • God you promised to give me BEAUTY for ashes.
  • God you promised that instead of my shame you would give me a DOUBLE portion.

 

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Give God a minute. GOD IS FAITHFUL. Your story isn’t over yet.

Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
You established the earth, and it abides.” Psalm 119:90 NKJV

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We are the Fire Keepers

Have you ever watched the opening ceremony of the Olympics? I love that part. They bring the torch out and pass the fire from person to person.  According to Wikipaedia:

“The Olympic flame is a symbol used in the Olympic movement. Several months before the Olympic Games, the Olympic flame is lit at Olympia, Greece. This ceremony starts the Olympic torch relay, which formally ends with the lighting of the Olympic cauldron during the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games. The flame then continues to burn in the cauldron for the duration of the Games, until it is extinguished during the Olympic closing ceremony.”

The fire starts and ends the Games. Why do I bring this up? It’s not even a year for the Olympics. I went to a place in Michigan when I visited my sister in law last week that was called FireKeepers.  I saw that name and the waterfall with FIRE and thought of God.

God reveals Himself in the FIRE of our lives!

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  • God revealed Himself to Moses in the fire of that burning bush:

“Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian. And he led the flock to the back of the desert, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God.  And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed.  Then Moses said, “I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.”

So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, “Moses, Moses!”

And he said, “Here I am.”

Then He said, “Do not draw near this place. Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.” Moreover He said, “I am the God of your father—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.” And Moses hid his face, for he was afraid to look upon God.

 And the Lord said: “I have surely seen the oppression of My people who are in Egypt, and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters, for I know their sorrows.  So I have come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up from that land to a good and large land, to a land flowing with milk and honey, to the place of the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Amorites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites.  Now therefore, behold, the cry of the children of Israel has come to Me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them.  Come now, therefore, and I will send you to Pharaoh that you may bring My people, the children of Israel, out of Egypt.””  Exodus 13: 1-10

 

  • Later on in Exodus, God came down in fire to talk to Moses again:

 “Now Mount Sinai was completely in smoke, because the Lord descended upon it in fire. Its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked greatly.  And when the blast of the trumpet sounded long and became louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him by voice.  Then the Lord came down upon Mount Sinai, on the top of the mountain. And the Lord called Moses to the top of the mountain, and Moses went up.”  Exodus 19:18-20

  • In the New Testament we evens see how we will be baptized with fire:

“John answered, saying to all, “I indeed baptize you with water; but One mightier than I is coming, whose sandal strap I am not worthy to loose. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

  • And then in Acts, the Holy Spirit comes down and into belivers like fire:

When the Day of Pentecost had fully come, they were all with one accord in one place.  And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance.” – Acts 2:1-4

God proves it to us over and over – where there is FIRE He speaks and He Delivers!

He put His fire inside of us, His Holy Spirit, to overcome the world.

God’s fire will burn up any sickness, illness, oppression, or any enemy that tries to come at us.

God has made us the Fire Keepers in the world!

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Getting Up After You Fall

We have all fallen. Some of us have fallen physically, some mentally, some emotionally, some spiritualy. I was down and out today. Messed up my leg tyring to lead an exercise class. Yeah, sometimes I think I am Superwoman and forget to use wisdom. Long story short, spent the morning at the Dr. making sure I didn’t refracture the 2 previously broken bones in my left leg.

I threw out my crutches after I thought I was done with this. Got rid of the cane too I believe. Yesterday my leg was swollen to over twice it’s normal size. What do I do? Ignore it. Yeah, real smart there right? I go to bed thinking it will all be better in the morning.

Wake up and try to walk. Nope. Not a good day to put weight on it. So I limp myself around, admit the truth, call in to work, and head to the Dr. to see if I fractured it again. Back in 2012 I was on a ladder and the ladder broke – broke both the bones in my lower left leg and got a metal rod put in then. I have been through the whole ordeal – the wheelchair, the crutches, the cane, and 3 times in physical therapy. It was a long year, but I recovered. God was with me then and He is with me now.

There is that moment of panic, when all the bad thoughts you have run through your mind as you sit and wait to get in. I hate that part. My mind was going back to those hard days sitting in a wheelchair, trying to make it to the bathroom, and shower, and just get around. Uggh – no, please no – not again.

Finally after 1 1/2 hours I get in, then the nurse, the Dr., the xray – and wait again. Why do we always think the worst in times like that? For me it was probably fear. I didn’t feel like I had control of anything going on, and I certainly didn’t want any bad news. Finally, the Dr. comes back in…

Good news – it’s not fractured! I spent the day with my leg elvated and ice. I don’t like ice, but I did it anyway. I bought a new cane to get around on the way back from the Dr.  Yes, I thought I was done with this stuff but – thank you Jesus, it’s not broken.

I don’t like it when I fall down. I don’t like it when I am hindered in this body. It’s humbling. Maybe that’s why. Maybe I’m just little ‘ole me, and I fall and have to get up. Hey, my crown is crooked and my cape fell off, lol! We like to think we can do all things all the time, and then here comes life and knocks you on your butt.

Has that happened to you?

How did you get up?

Thought I’d look up some verses to hold on to while I get up. I’m way to stubborn to sit here for long, that’s for sure.

Jesus whispers

God’s Word for You:

 “You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man, and fear your God: I am the Lord.” – Leviticus 19:32 NKJV

“So the Lord said to Joshua: “Get up! Why do you lie thus on your face? ” – Joshua 7:10 NKJV

Shake yourself from the dust, arise;
Sit down, O Jerusalem!
Loose yourself from the bonds of your neck,
O captive daughter of Zion!” – Isaiah 52:2 NKJV

But rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you. ” – Acts 26:16 NKJV

“But He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, “Little girl, arise.”” – Luke 8:54 NKJV

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