Strength. Sometimes I have it, sometimes I don’t. What can I say? I’m still human. Some days I am on top of the world, and other days I can’t find my way out from under a rock.
Those hard days I have to take a step back, and pray. In those times I like to remind myself of what God says about strength.
“God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble. And so we need not fear even if the world blows up and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam; let the mountains tremble!” – Psalm 46:1-3 TLB
“The Lord is a strong fortress. The godly run to him and are safe.” – Proverbs 18:10 TLB
“The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; For You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” – Psalm 9:9-10 NKJV
“But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place.” – Isaiah 43:1-3 NKJV
“I sought the Lord, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.” – Psalm 34:4 NKJV
Yes, 2020 sucked. But it’s over. We made it. God saw us through and we are still here! Hallelujah! I don’t know about you, but there were a few times I didn’t know if I would make it to 2021. Yes, I have been knocked down this past year with deaths, COVID in my family, heart attack, and pancreatitis, as well as 5 other ER visits. It’s been kind of a blur. But one thing I do know, God was with me the whole time! There were days I cried, days I just wanted to give up, as well as happy days, and beautiful memories. COVID and illness has certainly given us all a clearer picture of what is really important.
There were more than a few days that I stayed home from Church and watched online. This was hard for me because I am part of our Worship Team. So is my husband Bob, and 6 other friends that are the most amazing gift ever. The last time I stayed home I just cried. The Worship Team sounded so good – without me. It was very humbling. Yes, they are all amazing and we are blessed. I felt lonely and left out. It’s so hard to be sick and stay home all the time. But God showed me something. I could praise Him at home, without the band, without my piano or bass, just on my own for He is worthy to be praised! I learned how to just BE with Jesus.
I learned a very important lesson this past year.
For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” – Romans 14:8 NKJV
Yes, God is still on the throne, and whether I play or don’t play, laugh or cry, live or die, I belong to the Lord. This brought me comfort. It is way easier to let go of things I can’t control if I trust my God who knows the end from the beginning. God is with us. He has plans for us here and in Heaven.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11-13 NKJV
This verse and song helped me too. I need to see the vision of where I am going, not where I am. Hope rises. Faith rises. God rises, and so will we!
RISE UP by Andra Day
“Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn.” – Isaiah 60:1-3 NIV
You’re broken down and tired Of living life on a merry go round And you can’t find the fighter But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out And move mountains We gonna walk it out And move mountains, And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again And I’ll rise up High like the waves I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again, For you For you For you For you, When the silence isn’t quiet And it feels like it’s getting hard to breathe And I know you feel like dying But I promise we’ll take the world to its feet And move mountains Bring it to its feet And move mountains, And I’ll rise up I’ll rise like the day I’ll rise up I’ll rise unafraid I’ll rise up And I’ll do it a thousand times again, For you For you For you For you All we need, all we need is hope And for that we have each other And for that we have each other And we will rise We will rise We’ll rise, oh, oh We’ll rise I’ll rise up Rise like the day I’ll rise up In spite of the ache I will rise a thousand times again And we’ll rise up High like the waves We’ll rise up In spite of the ache We’ll rise up And we’ll do it a thousand times again For you For you For you For you Ah, ah, ah, ah
I heard this verse on the radio this week and it got to me. I didn’t realize I was so close to giving up. The pressures of Covid, the health issues I and my friends have had, etc. I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to quit. God didn’t bring us this far to leave us here. I choose to believe His Word, and GET UP!
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. – Galatians 6:7-10
Here are a few more Don’t Give Up Quotes:
“But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.” – 2 Chronicles 15:7
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ – Isaiah 41:10
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jerimiah 29:11
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. – 1 Corinthians 9:24
Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love. – 1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. – Ephesians 6:10
being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ – Philippians 1:6
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. – 2 Timothy 1:7
Have you ever been afraid? Yeah, me too. We are still human. Last week I ended up at the Hospital again. Things were so bad they admitted me. 3 days later I was released. There were times I didn’t know if I was coming home. Possible complications included complete organ shut down and death. Great…
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?” – Psalm 27:1
I prayed a lot. My husband did too, and the few people we told. After 3 days of no food or water, only IV fluids, I started to hallucinate, or so I thought. Only it wasn’t a hallucination – it was a 5 day walk in the Spirit. Remember in he Bible where the Disciples were trying to deliver a man from a demon and they couldn’t do it? Jesus came on the scene and shared some Truth:
“Then one of the crowd answered and said, “Teacher, I brought You my son, who has a mute spirit. And wherever it seizes him, it throws him down; he foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, and becomes rigid. So I spoke to Your disciples, that they should cast it out, but they could not.”He answered him and said, “Ofaithlessgeneration, how long shall I be with you? How long shall Ic]bear with you? Bring him to Me.”Then they brought him to Him. And when he saw Him, immediately the spirit convulsed him, and he fell on the ground and wallowed, foaming at the mouthSo He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood.2 And often he has thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.”
Jesus said to him, “Ifyou can believe, all things are possible to him who believes. ”Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” When Jesus saw that the people came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “Deaf and dumb spirit, I command you, come out of him and enter him no more!”Then the spirit cried out, convulsed him greatly, and came out of him. And he became as one dead, so that many said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose.
And when He had come into the house, His disciples asked Him privately, “Why could we not cast it out?”So He said to them, “This kind can come out by nothing butprayerand fasting.”” – Mark 9:16-29 NKJV
So, with prayer and fasting, you can defeat the Enemy with God’s help. Fasting will also bring about a humbleness and reliance on God for protection. That was the case for me. The Lord protected me from all sorts of spirits those 5 days. Part of it happened in the hospital and part happened at home. I thought my kids and husband were going to commit me. I totally understand now why Paul said, :
“It is doubtless not profitable for me to boast. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord: I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or whether out of the body I do not know, God knows—such a one was caught up to the third heaven. And I know such a man—whether in the body or out of the body I do not know, God knows— how he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter. Of such a one I will boast; yet of myself I will not boast, except in my infirmities. For though I might desire to boast, I will not be a fool; for I will speak the truth. But I refrain, lest anyone should think of me above what he sees me to be or hears from me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:1-6 NKJV
I was walking in the Spirit and using the Word of God to defeat the Enemies I saw. My husband and kids could not see what I saw. I tried to take pictures to prove it to them and video, and some were ok, others had weird marks on them. Very creepy. I will not boast about what God showed me, He is the One who gave me the Word, the Sword of the Spirit, that defeated them. They left.
“God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” – John 4:24 NKJV
I pray that the Lord leads us all to walk in the Spirit and defeat the Enemies of our souls.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” – 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 NKJV
And one of the best scriptures about how our walk in the Spirit defeats the Enemy:
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints—and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” – Ephesians 6:11-20 NKJV
Merry Christmas my friends and family! I know this year is different with the Covid pandemic, however there is still a reason to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
“For to us a Child shall be born, to us a Son shall be given; And the government shall be upon His shoulder, And His name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6AMP
I am so grateful for the few people I got to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with. I think I treasure their presence way more than any presents. I never realized how distant social distancing really is. I have been a hermit lately. Can you relate? Covid has all of us walking on eggshells, praying it passes over us and our families while we mask up and go out into the world with our hand sanitizer in our pockets. God is still with us, even if we wear a mask, even if we go to the Grocery Store or the Gas Station. God is with us. Let’s take a moment and rejoice in God’s Presence today. He is wonderful!
I really learned to treasure God and His Word during this Covid season. All I need to do is stop, wherever I am, and talk to God. I can pray in my head, or pray out loud – it really doesn’t matter. I just want to acknowledge that I know He is with me. There are some days we just hang out. Jesus wants to spend time with us, even in the middle of the wrapping paper mess. We can sit and relax in God’s Presence. Breathe in His Grace, and breathe out His Praise. I can finally let go of my worries and breathe. His Presence changes everything! I love this song, it keeps playing in my head. God bless you all and Merry Christmas!
You know 2020 has been one heck of a year for all of us. This Covid nightmare has to end soon! I recently had something happen to me on Facebook that really rattled me to the core. Have you ever been hacked? Or watched? Or recorded without your permission? Well now I can say, “Yes, I have”.
This year my husband and I got a notice that our main password had been compromised and we needed to change it immediately. At first I didn’t believe it. Then I asked my super smart IT husband, Bob, and he said, “yes, it’s true. That password is on the Dark Web now. Change the password on any sites you used it.” Oh my. I never knew I had signed up for so many sites before. It was a painstaking process. Thank goodness for Google and their Saved Password feature. I hadn’t used many of these apps for years. I had to look it up. Here is how to see your saved passwords from Google.(Click on link to be directed to Google)
Anyway, Google made it much easier to see what sites I had used that old password at. It was a painstaking process, but I deleted like 40 sites. One by one. That was the beginning of the ‘fun’ I had this month. Then on to FB (Facebook).
I admit it. I am human. Sometimes I just need to vent. I need to let out how I feel about a situation and then I can calm down. I may be a bit passionate about it though. My Husband and Pastor call me the Kraken when I do that, lol!
Well one evening I released the Kraken at home with my husband Bob. I was complaining about a situation that happened at Church. It doesn’t matter which church, or which people I was referring to. I said my piece, let it go, and I felt better. We went to bed and my husband said, “You should check your FB . I think you were hacked.” I told him, “I’ll check it tomorrow, I’m tired.” I thought I could just change my password and that would be that. Man, was I wrong.
The next morning I grabbed my phone and started sipping my coffee. I love coffee in the morning. Bob was in the kitchen making breakfast. I opened up my phone and the FB app. I had 2 messages from my friends asking if I was all right. Hmmm. One of them even showed me a screen shot from Messenger, the instant messaging part of FB. I gasped! What? Bob asked me what was up. I asked him to give me a minute.
Imagine my horror when I discovered that my private conversation where I was venting had been RECORDED by Facebook (without my consent or permission) and sent to my contacts. I told Bob, “I never typed this…I said it!) And now all of my friends knew of the private conversation as FB Messenger decided to record me and make it PUBLIC! My mind started racing a mile a minute. I thought of 3 things I could do right away:
1. I changed my FB and Messenger password.
2. I thought would be easy. I could just delete the conversation. I opened up my Messenger App and checked the side where it lists all of your conversations. There was no message that I had typed or one where the message was sent. This meant I could NOT delete the conversation. Messenger also had no record of who they had sent it to.
3. As I had no control over the account anymore. I deleted my FB and Messenger accounts.
After doing some research I got even angrier when I found out that Facebook had done this before! And been punished with a huge fine. Here is a great article by Today.com dated / Source: TODAY By Scott Stump.
“A report by Bloomberg found that Facebook has been paying hundreds of outside contractors to transcribe clips of audio from its users, citing “people with knowledge of the work” who were told to transcribe the audio without being informed how and where it was obtained.
Facebook confirmed to NBC News that it had engaged in the practice but said that it “paused human review of audio more than a week ago.”
The company added that the only users affected chose a transcription option in their Messenger app and that it masked the audio so the users’ identities were not revealed to third-party transcribers.
Third-party contractors told Bloomberg they felt the work was unethical because users didn’t know their audio would be reviewed and transcribed.
Facebook told NBC News it was reviewing the audio to make sure its artificial intelligence was working properly.”
If you read the article the author Scott Stump teaches you how to TURN YOUR MICROPHONE OFF ON FACEBOOK AND MESSENGER. I sent this article to all my children and friends – via Email.
I am disappointed in Facebook, Messenger, and Mark Zuckerberg. It is an invasion of my privacy to record my conversations without my consent. And then have them sent to a 3rd party place to be transcribed and then sent out to my contacts. All so you can target ads to me? I don’t want your ads! I am no longer a customer. What they did was wrong.
What do you think? Have you ever been hacked? Have you had this happen to you? Is your microphone ON in Facebook and Messenger? I have more apologies to make. My private vent should have never been shared FB and Messenger. You are rude beyond belief.
God has promised to supply all our needs. What we don’t have now, we don’t need now. –Elizabeth Elliot
One day is not long enough to thank God for all that He’s given you. His blessings come daily. – Adrian Rogers
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” —Albert Einstein
“Gratitude” comes from the same word as freedom (gratis = free). Gratitude is the freeing expression of a free heart toward one who freely gave. – Ravi Zacharias
You say, ‘If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.’ You make a mistake. If you are not content with what you have, you would not be satisfied if it were doubled. – Charles H. Spurgeon
We need to discover all over again that worship is natural to the Christian, as it was to the godly Israelites who wrote the psalms, and that the habit of celebrating the greatness and graciousness of God yields an endless flow of thankfulness, joy, and zeal. –J.I. Packer
This a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before. – Maya Angelou
God is in control, and therefore in EVERYTHING I can give thanks – not because of the situation but because of the One who directs and rules over it. –Kay Arthur
Genuine thankfulness is an act of the heart’s affections, not an act of the lips’ muscles. –John Piper
A spirit of thankfulness is one of the most distinctive marks of a Christian whose heart is attuned to the Lord. Thank God in the midst of trials and every persecution. –Billy Graham
Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some. – Charles Dickens
Gratitude is an offering precious in the sight of God, and it is one that the poorest of us can make and be not poorer but richer for having made it. AW Tozer
Nov 11th is Veterans Day. Here are a few famous quotes to share with your Veterans. I know I am proud of those in my life, my husband, Bob , my father in law, Lee, and also my grandfather, Lewis. Thank you all, we love you and admire your courage and honor. You have sacrificed to keep us safe at home. We appreciate you. God bless you all!
15 Quotes to Share for Veterans Day
“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”– G.K. Chesterton
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” – John Fitzgerald Kennedy
“Our flag does not fly because the wind moves it… it flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.”– Unknown
“We will not tire, We will not falter, We will not fail.”- George W. Bush
“Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” – Billy Graham
“We remember those who were called upon to give all a person can give, and we remember those who were prepared to make that sacrifice if it were demanded of them in the line of duty, though it never was. Most of all, we remember the devotion and gallantry with which all of them ennobled their nation as they became champions of a noble cause.”– Ronald Reagan
“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding go out to meet it.” – Thucydides
“Word to the Nation: Guard zealously your right to serve in the Armed Forces, for without them, there will be no other rights to guard.” – President John F. Kennedy
“The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.”– Douglas MacArthur
“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave.” – Elmer Davis
“There are some who’ve forgotten why we have a military. It’s not to promote war, it’s to be prepared for peace.” – Ronald Reagan
“Have the courage to act instead of react.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
“Military power wins battles, but spiritual power wins wars.” – George C. Marshall
“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight — it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.”—Ernest Hemingway
“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”—Helen Keller
I am so tired of Covid. I really thought this virus would be over with. The media is in a frenzy. I can’t watch it much anymore. It just fills me with fear, not faith. Yes I am one of those people with pre-existing conditions. Covid would not do well with me.
I confess, I was up worrying about it last night until 4 am. Do you ever do that? My head gets stuck in this circle of bad thoughts and I can’t seem to find my way out of the negativity maze. Sometimes I am afraid that I won’t wake up in the morning. Am I being overly paranoid? What do you think? I just have to talk about this. I have been holding it in for 9 months now.
Maybe it’s because this year has sucked for my health. Heart Attack, Heart issues, Treatment, Cardia Rehab, blah, blah, blah. I am to the point I do not even want to go to the Dr. for anything. There are just too many people out there. I find myself crawling back in my shell…
I hope and pray that the God of Healing would heal this land and cast down Covid. I know He can. I know He will. I just don’t know when, and I am fearful of all the people dying from a stupid virus. Here are some Words from God that I need to ponder on to remind myself that God is still on the Throne, and it will not be this way forever.
God’s Word for You
And He said to her, “Daughter,your faith has made you well.Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”- Mark 5:34 NKJV
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. – Psalm 137:3 NKJV
Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease [a]among the people. – Matthew 9:35 NKJV
Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. – James 5:14 NKJV
who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. – 1 Peter 2:24 NKJV
My Prayer for You
I pray that you would be with all of your kiddos, including me, during this Pandemic. We know you see what is going on. Give us peace that surpasses understanding in our hearts. Let us lay our worries and our burdens on your cross. You paid the price for us to be healed and whole. Let it be done according to your Word, in Jesus Name.
We all have struggles in this crazy world. Sometimes hints just happen that make no sense. For a control freak like me it drives me crazy! I like it when things go good, life sticks to the -lan, and life is well with the world. I must admit, that is rarely the case in my life.
This year has proven that right? Whoever would have thought we would be fighting a virus like COVID, closing down schools and businesses in droves. Then there is the whole election nightmare. I will be so glad when it’s over!
It’s during difficult times like these that I have to remind myself that Jesus told me there would be troubles and He was my peace, not the crazy situation.
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.] – John 16:33 AMP
So what is a person supposed to do when they are fearful and panicked, and afraid to go out into the world these days? So,e days I am ok, and other days I just don’t want to go anywhere. How about you?
I am learning to trust God in the storm, and carry on. It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. I have found myself-laying a lot of games on my iPad and watching a lot of Netflix, lol!one thing I have determined to do is to be gentle with myself. Used to be a Perfectionist and would over-schedule myself to people please. Not today! I have let goof that terrible habit and given myself permission to just “be” with God and see what He is up to…
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 – AMP
I guess I don’t have to know how this whole thing is going to work out. I know the ONE who knows what is next. Today I choose to trust God, and follow Him, no matter what happens. God bless you my friends. Love you all!
Remember Job? I can relate to this guy lately. I wrote about my heart attack here on 4/21/20. That was 6 days in the hospital. 4 weeks later I had another heart episode on 5/29/20 and had to go back to the Hospital. That was another 4 days. That’s 10 days out of 30 that I spent in the Hospital.
It was kind of a blur. Lots of IV’s, lots of medicine, and lots of falling asleep in the middle of a sentence! Very little sleep, they woke me up every hour for vitals and shots. It sucked!
Praise God I am home now. I qualified for Home Health so I have a visiting Nurse, Social Worker, Physical Therapist, and Occupational Therapist that all come to my home to help me get stronger. I’m still using my walker, that sucks, but at least I don’t fall down.
So back to Job. Here’s the verse: “Now there was a day when the sons of God (angels) came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan (adversary, accuser) also came among them.The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Then Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming around on the earth and from walking around on it.”The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered and reflected on My servant Job? For there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God [with reverence] and abstains from and turns away from evil [because he honors God].”Then Satan answered the Lord, “Does Job fear God for nothing?Have You not put a hedge [of protection] around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands [and conferred prosperity and happiness upon him], and his possessions have increased in the land.But put forth Your hand now and touch (destroy) all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face.”Then the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that Job has is in your power, only do not put your hand on the man himself.” So Satan departed from the presence of the Lord.” – Job 1:6-12
I guess I’ve been considered. Never thought I would have a heart attack at 56 but here I am. I admit it, I lost it. When I got home at the end of April I was in shock. I froze. I was paralyzed. All the faith I thought I had shriveled up like a raisin. My friends tried to reach out to me and I didn’t even answer the phone. I had given up.
I sat in the dust like Job. I cried every day. I really thought I would just wake up dead. Fear had gripped my heart and was strangling me like a snake. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read my Bible, nor anything else for that matter. I couldn’t type, I kept messing up the letters. So I sat in the dust and cried and waited.
My husband and Pastor and friends prayed for me. I could feel it. Occasionally there were glimpses of light that came through my broken body and soul. They carried me and lowered me through the roof of despair and put me right in front of Jesus. I don’t think I would be here without their prayers.
Here I am 10 days later after the last hospital discharge. And I’m ready to get up! I have seen the Home Health Nurse, Occupational Therapist, Physical Therapist, and Social Worker. I have also started Cardiac Rehab. I can’t believe all of the people God has put in my life to help me. My husband is amazing. He is so supportive I feel like I’m in a Hallmark movie. My kids have become my cheerleaders checking on me all the time. My tribe of girlfriends have rallied by my side and encourage me all the time. I truly am blessed.
So the point of my story? I may have been planted in the dirt but this seed is breaking through the soil of infitmity and growing more and more into the plant God made me to be. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. I am still fighting for my life here. But I am not alone. My God is for me, who can stand against me?
Here are the verses that I have used to exercise my faith during this trial. I hope that if you are going through a trial you will hold on to these in your heart and speak them to God. Then, like me, we have to give God a minute to do what He said He would do. God is faithful. Some I have paraphrased
FAITH POWER VERSES
Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.
If God is for me who can stand against me?
God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.
The blood on your houses will be a sign for you. When I see the blood, I will pass over you. No deadly plague will touch you when I strike Egypt. (I put the blood of Jesus on the doorpost of my heart so God will not destroy my and the enemy will pass over me.)
The devil has come to kill, steal and destroy. But I have come to give you life, and life more abundantly
My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by
God will never leave nor forsake me
He who the Son sets free is free indeed.
Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Hide me under the shadow of your wings Lord so the enemy can’t find me.)
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. (Because I love You, You will protect me and show me Your Salvation)
Heal me Lord and I will be healed. Save me Lord and I will be saved.
The Lord bless you, and keep you [protect you, sustain you, and guard you];The Lord make His face shine upon you [with favor], And be gracious to you [surrounding you with lovingkindness];The Lord lift up His countenance (face) upon you [with divine approval], And give you peace [a tranquil heart and life].’ – Numbers 6:24-26
It was last Tuesday, April 21, 2020. My husband’s 55th birthday. The day did NOT go as planned to say the least. I had been sleeping upstairs again. I had been vomiting for the last 3 nights and tried to sleep in the recliner. It wasn’t working. I had not been able to keep anything down that day, not even a cracker. It felt like an Elephant was sitting on my chest. I did what I always do, I ignored my symptoms for 3 days. I had fever, chills, shortness of breath, headache, etc. Sounded like all they symptoms of Corona Virus.
Finally on the morning of the 21st I asked my Husband to take me to the Dr. I couldn’t deny it any longer, something was wrong. I had to call the Dr. ahead of time. With the Covid-19 outbreak you can’t just show up these days. We drove up to Madison and went to see the Dr. My husband had to wait in the car. They don’t let any extra people in these days. Crazy times.
I answered a plethora of questions from the Nurse and Dr. both. They wanted to test me for Covid. I agreed, however the Dr. said if she did the test it would be weeks before I got the results back. She suggested I go the ER and they had a test that had results back in an hour. I went back to the car and asked my husband to bring me to the ER. Thank goodness he is a patient man! He had to wait in the car again.
They started with the Covid test. Gotta love that big Q-tip they shove up your nose, not! I thought it was gonna poke through my brain! Then the bloodwork. That was painful. I was pretty dehydrated at that point and my veins didn’t want to come out and play. It took 4 different people 2 tries each to finally find a vein. Needless to say, I still have a lot of bruises.
Then they hooked me up to the EKG Machine. It didn’t look good. They started the Oxygen and the IV fluids. Finally, getting somewhere I thought. They took like 15 vials of blood. Tested for everything under the sun.
After about an hour the Dr. came in. He said it didn’t look good. My Tryptophan levels were through the roof, my heart was not beating properly, and I wasn’t going to go home that day. I phoned my husband to break the news. He had been waiting in the parking lot 3 hours at this point. I told him to go home and that I didn’t know when they were going to let me go home. But it wasn’t going to be that day. Happy Birthday Bob. ;(
He drove home while the medical team kept working on me. I had an ultrasound of my heart done, a CT scan of my lungs, and another EKG of my heart. After all that, the Dr. called me. Yes, they call you now on the phone, along with the registration people and the Pharmacist. It’s really weird. The Dr. said I was having a NSTEMI Heart Attack. That’s funny I thought, it didn’t feel like a Heart Attack. I didn’t even know what that word meant. I had to Google it. Which may I say, is NOT a good idea when you are sitting in an Emergency Room!
After 8 hours, I was finally admitted to the Hospital and got out of the ER. I have to say, it was the most organized ER I have ever been to. They had teams of people helping patients andI would definitely go there again. I had never been to that Hospital in Madison, WI before.
It was a long night. Lots of trips to the bathroom with all the stuff they were pumping into me. They added Heparin and Nitro to the IV. Not a good time. The next morning they told me they wanted to do an Angiogram. I didn’t know what that was either. More Google. Great. Lets take a camera, shove it up your vein into your heart and take a poke around. The week was getting “better and better”, not! Nothing to eat or drink after midnight they told me. Okey dokey.
I dozed on and off. At about 12:30 I felt it. A huge anxiety attack was rolling over me. Too many things to process in one day. My heartbeat sped up, I started breathing faster. I rang the bell for the nurse. She asked me what I took for anxiety. I had just started a new script that week for Lorazepam. I only took one and it made me so dizzy I almost puked. I asked her to call the Dr. for something else as I didn’t want to be that dizzy again. She called the Dr. and he said no, we can’t give her anything new with the procedure going on in a few hours. I got Melatonin. Didn’t help at all. I stared at the clock until 3:30 am totally freaking out. Finally, I feel asleep – for an hour. Then it started all over again. It was one of the worst nights of my life.
Wed morning rolls around andfind out my angiogram isn’t until 11 am. That means no coffee! Miss D is not good at all without her morning coffee, just ask Bob! I wait it out and finally at 10 I get to go to the surgery prep area. Finally. Let’s get this show on the road! They don’t put you under, I had a drug that relaxed me and a local anesthetic for the vein. I was so tired by that point I fell asleep. Thank you Jesus!
I wake up an hour later and was in recovery. The Nurse brought me crackers and string cheese and decaf coffee. That was the best meal I have ever had! I was starving at that point. They wheeled me back up to the top floor of the Hospital. I did have a great view of Lake Monona!
The Angiogram looked good the Dr. said. No significant blockages so he didn’t have to do the balloon thing. Praise God! I ordered lunch and proceeded to stuff my face again, lol! The Cardiac Rehab Nurse came in and shared what I need to do to get better. Exercise, eat better, lower the alcohol, you know. She gave me a file and said I could go home that night between 5 and 6 pm! Yeah! I called Bob, and he was there at 5 pm. The Pharmacist filled my new scripts and brought them up. What a relief. I was so happy to get out of there!
So here we are, 6 days later. I still can’t believe it was a heart attack. It didn’t feel like one. Like I would know – I have never had a heart attack before, lol! I have started walking my dog Max everyday for 30 minutes. We are changing our diets slowly. And I have to see my regular Dr. sometime this week. It may be a phone call, we will see. I have to go back to the Cardio Unit in a month for follow up.
Here I sit. I trust You God to get me through this. I have no control over this, I have to believe that God does. I thought I had Covid, not a heart attack. Guess I’m just gonna take it day by day. Here are a few songs that helped me today. I heard them on Pandora while walking Max.
I BELIEVE by James Fortune & FIYA featuring Zacardi Cortez & Shawn McLemore
THIS IS A MOVE by Brandon Lake and Tasha Cobbs Leonard