Tag: Unhealthy relationships

Why Jezebels and Narcissits Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

You may know one – or have known one. The Killjoy, the Jezebel or the Naracissit who consistantly ruins every holiday. It may be a birthday, a Thanksgiving, or even Christmas.  Every year they make a scene – to be seen. It’s almost like they are on steroids. All those criticizing, belittling, and blaming behaviors come out in stereo. Loud and proud as they cut down everyone and everything in their way. But why? Why do they insist on the drama every Holiday? And more importantly, what can you do to keep your peace?

holiday narcissist 2.jpg

 

Why Jezebels and Narcissists Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

  • Jezebels and Narcissits have a self control problem. They have none. So they create drama all around them so they feel important. It’s all about them. They want to be the star of the show. So if they cut you down, they think they shine.
    •  It’s a pretty dull sparkle if you ask me. Don’t react. Let them be stupid all by themselves.
  • Holidays bring crowds and they love to be the star of the show. Once again, you don’t matter to them. They have no real heart. It is cold and closed. More people mean a bigger audience for them to play their leading role.
    • They are a legend in their own minds.  Too bad it’s the size of a pea, lol! They think they are God and everyone should bow down and worship them. Don’t do it. Don’t put them on a pedestel, or cater to their whims. There is no throne for that type of behavior. It’s abusive.
  • Jezebels and Narcissists are insecure –  only they don’t want anyone to know about it. They often overreact to the dumbest things. They will blow a gasket at the drop of a hat, over anything. They are maniupulaters and blamers. In their mind anything that goes wrong is never their fault. They think they walk on water.
    • They will blame whoever is in their way. This way they feed their own ego. You can almost see their head blow up with their own hot air. When the blaming starts, take a deep breath and don’t belive them. Whatever comes out of their mouth is not true. They lie to cover things up all the time. Half of the time they do not even remember all the lies they tell.
  • Jezebesl and Narcissists  love to stir up drama. Have you ever noticed how they will poke and prod and gossip just to get someone upset? It makes them feel in control. They love to get other people angry.  I really think anger is fuel to them. They thrive on it.
    • Don’t play. Don’t react. Let their words fall to the ground.  Just because they said something doesn’t mean it is true. Sometimes this makes them even angrier, be prepared. It’s healthy to walk away, take a break, leave the room. You don’t have to watch them crash and burn.

Keep you peace this Holiday. If they want to be a jerk, let them. We have no contorl over other people’s bad behavior. It is not our fault they are jerks, that is their choice. What we can control is our reaction to it.

“Don’t feed the Jezebel or the Narcissist – they will only get uglier.”

Remember to put on your full armor and stand strong. Let it go, God will deal with them just like He did with Jezebel. Keep your peace. Don’t play. Pray, ask God to intercede. He will, and watch the Jezebels fall!

narcissist

 

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Characteristics of psychopaths | The Tyranny of Psychopaths

“They lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get their way. For them, it is a practical matter.” How I wish someone had taught me these things before I started dating for the first time. Life was always a game with men like this and they would do anything to win. Lesson learned.

No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges

Psychopathy causes more social social distress and disruption than all other mental disorders combined.Power elite psychopaths can be charming, charismatic, and intelligent. They are often seen as great leaders. They have powerful personalities with an almost a hypnotic ability to persuade and command people to do what they want. They can be smart, even scary smart—but in a devious, Machiavellian way. They are con artists who present a false image to the world, an image that they know will gain favorable attention.

Their emotional life consists of the gratification of acquiring, consuming, and possessing the best of everything, the thrill of conquest, the frustration of losing a fight, the triumph of defeating enemies, and the glory of egomania.

But above all, they live to conquer and to win. Psychopaths love battles—for them, it is a game. They go from one challenge to the next. They love winning and prizes, recognition and fame. They love privileges and exclusive clubs. They believe they are entitled…

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Predatory People and Toxic Relationships

My rant to a harassing person from my past that will not respect my NO:

Not everyone is our friend. There are those people who are alongside the Enemy and just wish to kill, steal, and destroy. There is good, and there is evil. Learning to discern the difference between the two has been a journey for me. Evil people don’t wear horns and carry pitchforks. Sometimes they dress and act just like you and pretend to be a friend. So you try to help. Invite them in. And wonder why you got bit from the wolf 6 months later! There are Predatory People out there.

 The Bible teaches us that you will know a tree by its fruit. And some trees are bad. No amount of tlc will change it. Learning that I am not the Savior was a hard lesson for me. I kept getting myself into toxic relationships with Drama Kings and Queens until I learned to say NO. 

No, You don’t get to pretend to be my friend and stab me in the back at the same time. 

No, I will not allow you to treat me disrespectfully time after time and pretend it never happened. 

No, don’t expect me to believe a word that you say when all I hear are lies. 

No, you are not my friend and I do not have to let you back into my life. 

For the dog that keeps knocking on my door and trying to bully their way back in – NO. 

   
I forgave you, God commands me to do that. That doesn’t mean you get to come over and have lunch like nothing happened. God also gives us wisdom. 

Forgiveness does not mean that I accept what you did to me and my family. IT WAS WRONG. And you treated many others in your life the same way. I can’t believe we all believed the same lies. Wouldn’t you at least change your story? Playing the same ‘ruse’ is so sad. 

Forgiveness means that I trust God to deal with you. I am not your Savior. He is. I will not ‘tie’ myself to you in friendship. You do not know what that word means. Nor do I think you even care. In my opinion you are a Narcissist. All about you, all the time. They have real counselors that may be able to help you with that. Not me. Not my job.

I tried to help, but you only used that as an opportunity to attack. I will protect myself and my family from Predators. And I respect myself  and my family enough to say NO. 

Stop harassing me. No more emails, no more friend requests to me or my children, no more stopping by to damage anything where I live. Go live your life and leave me and my family out of it. 

  
  

(Image credits- simple reminders.com, ilovemylsi.com, Pinterst)

12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

Snow White Darkness – NaPoWriMo Day 4

This is a poem that I turned into a song that describes what it is like to live in Domestic Violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men live like this everyday. And also a video that some of my friends did with CSpan about helping those living in abuse. Help us Lord to break the yoke of oppression in their lives and shine Your Light into their darkness, in Jesus Name.

His Castle

SNOW WHITE DARKNESS

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar
like steam on the glass, shame covers her past
the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds
His worst fantasy, her reality
he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things
a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion
He veils perversion, forcing her coercion
her body he takes, while she flies away
unbelievable, she’s invisible
love is the shadow, that darkens her window
she’s crying for help, to escape her hell

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog
hates her behavior, craves one to save her

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

 

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

 Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58:6-9 NKJV)

 

 

This is also the title of my book – SNOW WHITE DARKNESS – Smothered by Control.  It contains my journal entries from when I was living in abuse. Thank you Lord for deliverance for me and my children!

Snow White Darkness Cover

 

And here is the Album – available from GooglePlay. Thank you in advance for your love and support!

Snow White Darkness Cover

“And now for today’s prompt (optional, as always). Love poems are a staple of the poetry scene. It’s pretty hard to be a poet and not write a few – or a dozen – or maybe six books’ worth. But because so many love poems have been written, there are lots of clichés. Fill your poems with robins and hearts and flowers, and you’ll sound more like a greeting card than a bard. So today, I challenge you to write a “loveless” love poem. Don’t use the word love! And avoid the flowers and rainbows. And if you’re not in the mood for love? Well, the flip-side of the love poem – the break-up poem – is another staple of the poet’s repertoire. If that’s more your speed at present, try writing one of those, but again, avoid thunder, rain, and lines beginning with a plaintive “why”? Try to write a poem that expresses the feeling of love or lovelorn-ness without the traditional trappings you associate with the subject matter.”

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Spring Training #1-Exercising Our Faith-Honor Our Bodies

Spring Training. All the baseball teams gearing up for the game. Getting ready, letting go of what doesn’t work and training for the new season. I am in a period of transition. A period of spring training. I have had to acknowledge a few weaknesses and change my thoughts and attitudes to learn new habits. I am learning to build my strength both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Spring Training is a New Series I am writing to help us all refocus on our positive goals and exercise our faith.

Like the athletes we all have ‘muscles’ that we need to use or they atrophy. Muscles that have been in hibernation during the long cold winter. And our faith is the same way. It only gets exercised when we are using it. That means there will be trials,temptations and troubles we will get to go through – but they bring forth the GOLD of our faith.  Press on my friends, together we can do this!

SPRING TRAINING EXERCISE #1:

Learning to Honor Our Bodies

 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP)

Taking Responsibility for Our Health

One of the hardest areas for me after a life of abuse is learning how to honor my body. When you have had innocence stolen from you and been raped you feel like trash. The enemy plants thoughts in your head that you deserved it and you will never be clean. And then add Abuser after Abuser who commanded you to do unholy things with your body and your relationship. Add those swine who sought out pornography and the evils it opens you up to. For many years I did not address or even talk about these things. I did not own my body. I let another use it and abuse it. I gave away my power and my self-respect to a pig.

I was married before and I wanted to please my husband so I did what he said. He was sick. I should have said no. It took me years to learn to say that word. Then I was in another relationship with a very sick man who was into the bondage scene (yeah, my own shades of grey nightmare). Let me say that just because a person has money does not mean they are healthy. Some of the ‘sickest’ people I matched up with had money and thought I was a piece of property and something they owned. I went from psycho to psycho as I didn’t believe I deserved any better. I had no boundaries and I thought I was trash. I had no idea who God said I was.

Some of the wisest advice I got from Grandma Pat, a beautiful woman who lived down the street from me. She used to come over singing these old hymns and just listen to me cry. I wouldn’t be here today if she had not taken the time to stop and come over and listen. She told me,

“You don’t have to dishonor God to please your husband.”

 

pearls-before-swine

That was the home run for me. I finally got it. I could choose to honor God first. What those men asked me to do and what I did was wrong. God knows what happened. And I had to ask God to forgive me, and then forgive myself for giving authority of my body over to a swine. Yes, I cast my pearls before swine. And they trampled all over them. Because that’s what pigs do.

I ended those relationships. And didn’t date anyone for over a year. I learned how to take care of me and take authority back over my body. I asked God to break all the soul-ties with the blood of Jesus. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into those dark rooms and bring the deep healing I needed. I met with a counselor for a time and learned that the rape was not my fault. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. I did not asked to be abused. It wasn’t that way in the beginning. It happens over time. And it’s wrong. Not every husband/boyfriend honors his wife. I learned the hard way.

When I was on my own I had to learn how to ‘honor my body’ and choose to be well. I didn’t have to stay a victim. God promised to heal me and I chose to let Him. He turned my victim mentality into victorious. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me hope when I was lost.

I had to learn what honor meant too. Words and actions like honor, cherish, love, treasure – they had no meaning to me after years of abuse. But honor meant I could say NO. I could make a new choice as to what I would accept for myself, and what I would reject. I had to learn what a healthy relationship looked like. And I had to learn what respect meant and how to respect myself after receiving disrespect from so many.

 

Ways to Honor Your Body:

 

1.  Accept that God made you perfect and stop the negative self-talk.

This negative self-talk led to destructive self-harm for me. I had to ask God to quiet the voices of the Enemy of my soul. And I had to read the Word and learn who God says I am. I had to give God’s Word more authority over me than my past, my hurts, my feelings, or my pain. I even hand wrote scripture verses on index cards and carried them around with me in my everyday life. This way when I heard a negative thing in my head or from some other person I would read and meditate on a verse of God’s Word. It works, really.  I honor my body when I believe what God says about me more than how I feel or what someone tells me or has told me.

 

2.  Start to eat healthier.

I admit it, I love junk food and pizza. And after being depressed for so long I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of taking things away the Holy Spirit has asked me to start adding healthy things – nuts, fruits, and vegetables to my diet. I don’t keep track, I am not a food Nazi. But I have to say that I feel better after adding these things. It is a process and I am glad He is teaching me how to honor my body this way.

 

3. Stop watching smut TV.

Yep. No more. I refuse to entertain the spirit of lust. I will not even watch mildly graphic shows, no soap operas, no dating shows, no let’s swap wives or Hollywood Housewives or anything. I turn them off. Lust leads to all sorts of bad things. I have seen so many people break up relationships or marriages after the spirit of lust moves in. What comes in through the eyes makes residence in our minds. Thoughts become actions. I have seen people throw away what they have to try something they see happen on tv or a movie. And it’s wrong. I choose to shut that door and not entertain the spirit of lust.  I honor my body by not even going there.

 

4. Start to exercise slowly.

I joined Planet Fitness with my teen daughter about a month ago. The first time I went I could only go 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. And with my past leg injury I didn’t even try the treadmill. Can I tell you after a month I don’t have to wear my leg brace anymore! I can go 20 minutes on the elliptical and have even used the treadmill. All from a girl that heard the Dr. tell me, “I hope this leg surgery works or you won’t walk again.” I honor my body by moving it and exercising it. My mood is better. I feel alive again and there is hope. It’s going to be a good season this year!

 

What about you?

How did you learn to ‘honor your body’?

 

Tune in next time for SPRING TRAINING – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR MONEY

 

(Baseball with Heart image is available at puckettspond.com,

Pearl image from derricklphillips.wordpress.com)

Soul Ties

soul ties 2Imagine a rope holding you to another. You could be attached to a good friend or an enemy. Soul ties can be healthy, like in a marriage or close friendship, or they can be deadly, like in a victim and abuser relationship.  The relationships that we have and have had in the past create soul ties. Imagine leaving an Abuser and still being tied to them after you leave. And what about the child that was sexually abused. They are tied to the Abuser until all the soul ties are broken.  I cannot emphasize the need to break the unhealthy soul ties in your life.  I found myself returning to the Abuser time and time again until the soul tie was broken. But there is hope. It is possible to break these ties with the help of God. There is freedom available to us. And the Holy Spirit will help us in our weakness.

According to GreatBibleStudy.com:

The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn’t use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it’s simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn’t love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through.

 

Here are 6 signs of unhealthy soul ties from Paula White.

  1. An ungodly soul tie produces irrational thinking. Irrational means not capable of reasoning, having lost mental clarity, illogical.
  2. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to evaluate themselves and others according to previous context. They can’t see outside of that relationship or mental paradigm.
  3. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to shut down emotionally.
  4. An ungodly soul tie produces an unhealthy, unnatural desire or attraction to people, places and things, even to the person’s detriment.
  5. An ungodly soul tie will cause a lack of judgment and discernment.
  6. An ungodly soul tie produces the inability to establish and maintain proper adult relationships.

 

Dinah in the Bible was raped. She did not ask for it. She did not want it. But it happened. See Genesis 34 for the whole story. Shechem violated her, and it created a soul tie.

Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her. But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly to her young heart’s wishes.And Shechem said to his father Hamor, Get me this girl to be my wife. Jacob heard that [Shechem] had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field. So Jacob held his peace until they came. (Genesis 34:1-5 AMP)

I wonder if mental illness comes from unhealthy soul ties. It sure would make sense. When we open the door to the enemy with ungodly relationships there is more than one demon that comes in. There is sexual sin. And if you have ever ‘heard voices’ in your head, that is most likely the result of spirits tormenting you.  There is hope – there is a Deliverer who can quiet them and kick them out of your head and spirit and body – King Jesus!

Let’s Pray

Lord, you gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us clean house.  Let us acknowledge our sins and admit that we have ‘tied’ ourselves to idols/individuals whom You never intended us to be united to.  Let us confess and repent of all sexual sins – whether intentional or by force. The enemy wanted to destroy us Lord. But God You are greater! Lord – be our door, be our gate. We let the evil out and the good in. We are called and chosen by the King of Kings. What the enemy has tried to steal will be restored 30,60,100 times over.

Holy Spirit, we need your help in bringing the truth to light. We break all unhealthy soul ties from ________(you fill in names) by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. We ask that all covenants and agreements that we entered into from the enemy be broken in Jesus Name. You are our God and there is no other. Cancel all unhealthy and ungodly agreements Lord. Let those words be turned into dust. Let Your Word prevail Lord – in our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We choose to honor this body that you have come to live in. We belong to you and we will fulfill your plans for us, in Jesus Name.

 

VIDEOS ON SOUL TIES

 

 

(Image credits: www.xmind.net/m/PAyv, endtimeshofar.blogspot.com, jeremyfoster.org)

Jezebel the Witch

Jezebel is a witch. Yes, her father was Ethball, king of the Zidonians, and was both the king and priest of Baal worshipers.  Their gods were Baal and Ashtaroth or Astarte. Ahab installed a temple to the Sun-god in Samaria with 450 priests. Jezebel had another sanctuary erected where she fed 400 of them at her table. Cruel and licentious rites were associated with Baal worship. According to BibleHistory.com

 

Baal (ba’al) was an ancient Canaanite and Mesopotamian deity associated with agriculture. He was believed to be the “giver of life” and mankind was dependant upon him for providing what was necessary to sustain the farms, flocks and herds. He was also called the “son of Dagon” (who was in control of the grain), and “Hadad” the storm god who would provide plentiful rains after hearing his voice (thunder).

 

And the most amazing thing I found in my research today. Ahab was a Jew and King of Northern Israel at the time. Yet he denounced his Hebrew faith and “took her to wife, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.” (1Kings 16:31) There is a great history lesson on Jezebel here:

All the Women of the Bible – Jezebel No. 1

 

Ahab turned his back on God for his relationship with Jezebel. He left his faith, and followed her wicked ways. He was ‘bewitched’ and taken hostage by Jezebel. And he ended up doing things he had not done before – all to keep her approval. Yet, she used him. And all like him.

from http://churchofjezebel.com/
from http://churchofjezebel.com/

Jezebel is out for blood. You cannot negotiate with her. She is not interested. She wants to murder you and your children. Seriously. She is out to destroy true worship of Jesus. She is against the Word. She is a witch and will charm her way in to many people’s lives and churches and businesses.  Don’t trust her. She is not who she says she is. She is a witch.

God gave Jezebel time to repent. And God gives those with this spirit time to repent. God gave Ahab time to repent too. It could be weeks, months, or years. We don’t know.

I gave her time to repent, but she has no desire to repent of her immorality [symbolic of idolatry] and refuses to do so.
Take note: I will throw her on a bed [of anguish], and those who commit adultery with her [her paramours] I will bring down to pressing distress and severe affliction, unless they turn away their minds from conduct [such as] hers and repent of their doings. (Rev 2:21-22 AMP)

If you have helped a Jezebel, or submitted to one in your past, I urge you to break the soul-ties with this person and repent. Jezebel uses her bewitching powers of seduction to lure her victims in and create soul ties. She pretends to be your friend. She lures you in. Then she uses witchcraft, divination, and the spirit of seduction to tempt and entice you into doing something they would normally not do. She sends spirits to torment your mind, emotions, and imagination. She wants to control you. I found myself falling into all sorts of old destructive behaviors when influenced by this spirit. And I didn’t know why. Even after the relationship/friendship ended there was a ‘residue’. I awoke the other morning with a vision of a snake coiled around me trying to squeeze me to death. It was a ‘leftover’ from the Jezebel. I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and commanded it to leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my home, and my church. Soul ties are created in many ways. It’s not just sex that opens the door to a soul tie. According to Jonas Clark:

Soul ties can be created by :

  • sexual relationships
  • emotional manipulation
  • shared life experiences
  • personal tragedies
  • loss of a loved one
  • flattery of the prideful
  • consoling another
  • reaching out to the lonely
  • agreeing with Jezebels’ offenses, hurts, wounds, and unforgiveness towards those in authority or leadership
  • financial crisis

Once these soul ties are established, she has won. Jezebels are Narcissistic. They have no concern for you or your feelings. They are out to conquer and win. They lie and they believe their own lies. The justify everything they do. They are never wrong. And they are incapable of forgiveness.

End the relationship. Change your phone number. Do not allow the Jezebel into your life anymore. It is not just her, it is all the demons she caters to that you are letting in as well – into your home, into your peace, into your head. End it.

Tune in later and we will talk about how to break soul-ties.

 

Related articles

Sweetie, It’s Not You, Your Dad is a Narcissist

This blog is a letter to my children. I have been married to 2 Narcissists in my life. The Church calls them Jezebel Spirits. Here is my life lesson. In my opinion a Narcissist does not know what love is. It is always all about them. We are not people – we are possessions. And in his eyes, we are here to bow down and worship him.  (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.)

NARCISSIST

1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental
attributes.

To all the children with a Narcissistic Parent:

You are old enough where we can have this conversation. I am so tired of the way he breaks your heart time and time again. Your tears break my heart. Every empty promise that brings you pain gives me pain too.

Can I share something with you? It’s not you. It’s not about anything you did or didn’t do. Sweetie, your father is a Narcissist.

According to Mythology:

Source:Wikpedia
Source:Wikpedia

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.

He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/3f7/44684866/files/2014/12/img_0922.jpg

 

I am here to let you know that I love you. And I support you. I give you freedom to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes. I will be here to pick up the pieces when he degrades you and belittles you. I know what it feels like because he did it to me first.

 

I love you, and I will shelter you under the shadow of my wings just like God does for all of us. Put up the mirror around your heart and let his harsh words bounce off you as they are not true.  You are beautiful. You matter. You are smart. And I love you,

Mom

 

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

(All images from breakingupwithyournarcissist.com, Pinterest, brainwashingchildren.com, lattuera.com, Wikpedia, quotepixel.com, LaHuera.com)

Letting Go of Toxic People

Drowning

Letting go of toxic people. People that are out to hurt you. Jealousy, insecurity, fear…all lead to anger.  And Ms. D is not playing that game. Here are my thoughts to my “haters”:

I will not let your anger control me. You anger is exactly that – your anger.  I am sorry you see me as a threat. I am not against you. I pray for you. I want the best for you – even of you don’t.  I will not enter your arena of gossip and bad mouthing. I am not interested.

My  lesson, – live and let live.  I love you enough to let you be fully responsible for your actions.  Gossip kills. Back- biting kills. And every time you gossip to me about someone else  – I know you are gossiping about me behind my back.

I am making a new choice.  I cannot trust you with my life anymore. You do not value me or my life. You make fun of me and my family while you sit on your pedestal.

I forJealousygive you. But I am not sharing my life with you anymore. You have shamed my children and me. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I reject your inference that I am not right in the heart, and that I am not right with God. You don’t get a say. My relationship with God is my relationship, not yours. And who gave you the right to bad mouth and shame my kids?

You have no idea what my life is like. And the sad part is, I know you don’t really care.  Take your self -righteous attitude, your big mouth,  your pride and arrogance, and  just keep it to yourself.  I am not playing. I am not interested. You are not my friend, so stop pretending.

Yes, I have had enough. Forgive my rant. Can we just be real? Friends don’t do that. So stop calling me that.

 

[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11 AMP)

 

Toxic

Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

Here is Your Sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

Here is your sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

What is a narcissist you ask? I wish I would have asked – years ago! Wow, that would have saved a lot of heartache.  I was married to one – well ok, two -before I found out what was really going on. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind – seriously.  After all, they said I was crazy. They said I didn’t know anything. They said I couldn’t remember the truth…you know right?

Ok, so 2 divorces later here I am to share with you the “wisdom” I gleaned on the way. I’m sure you have some too – feel free to leave me a comment!

Guess what – we are not crazy!

They are! Hahahahahaha!

 

Seriously – NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a mental condition. And requires psychotherapy. All those years I spent in therapy thinking it was ALL my fault! Honestly, you have to laugh or cry!

According to the Mayo Clinic:

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

  • Believing that you’re better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
  • Taking advantage of others
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
  • Being jealous of others
  • Believing that others are jealous of you
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships
  • Setting unrealistic goals
  • Being easily hurt and rejected
  • Having a fragile self-esteem
  • Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

 

 

More Signs of a Narcissit

1. It’s all about them. You don’t exist – except to listen to them brag about how important they are. They have very over-inflated egos. They are arrogant and prideful. Yes, they really do believe their s#*t does not stink!

2. Your feelings really don’t matter to them. You could talk until you are blue in the face and they still would not understand. And most of the time they really don’t care anyway.

3. They refuse to take responsibility for anything – ever. Even if they are caught red-handed. It is always somebody else’s fault for everything bad that happens to them.

4. They lie – a lot. They really have no sense of what is true and what is false. And their lies get bigger and more grandiose every time they tell the same story.

5.  They really do believe that they are superior and better than you. That’s why they take every opportunity to point out all of your flaws. They will cut you down and humiliate you in public just to make themselves feel better. Abusers are usually narcissistic.

6.  They really are two-faced.  In the beginning they are charming, and flattering. They entice you into their web of lies. And most people who don’t know them fall for it too. But behind closed doors the ‘snake’ comes out.

7.  They are vindictive.  They never forget who hurt them and will not miss an opportunity to retaliate. It might even be years later, yet they still hang onto anger and absolutely refuse to forgive anyone for anything. If you make them look bad ever, you will get clobbered.

8. They are masters at turning the tables. They will take something they are doing, and accuse you of the same thing. For ex. My ex was lying, so he accused me of lying. They will be having an affair, and then turn around and accuse you of having an affair. When they do something it is ok, but if you do it – you are wrong and stupid, and get humiliated.

And now, some perfect narcissist songs!

“I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!”

“ITS ALL ABOUT YOU”