Tag: narcissism

Boundaries, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Jezebel, Narcissism, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Why Jezebels and Narcissits Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

You may know one – or have known one. The Killjoy, the Jezebel or the Naracissit who consistantly ruins every holiday. It may be a birthday, a Thanksgiving, or even Christmas.  Every year they make a scene – to be seen. It’s almost like they are on steroids. All those criticizing, belittling, and blaming behaviors come out in stereo. Loud and proud as they cut down everyone and everything in their way. But why? Why do they insist on the drama every Holiday? And more importantly, what can you do to keep your peace?

 

Why Jezebels and Narcissists Spoil Every Holiday and How to Keep Your Peace

  • Jezebels and Narcissits have a self control problem. They have none. So they create drama all around them so they feel important. It’s all about them. They want to be the star of the show. So if they cut you down, they think they shine.
    •  It’s a pretty dull sparkle if you ask me. Don’t react. Let them be stupid all by themselves.
  • Holidays bring crowds and they love to be the star of the show. Once again, you don’t matter to them. They have no real heart. It is cold and closed. More people mean a bigger audience for them to play their leading role.
    • They are a legend in their own minds.  Too bad it’s the size of a pea, lol! They think they are God and everyone should bow down and worship them. Don’t do it. Don’t put them on a pedestel, or cater to their whims. There is no throne for that type of behavior. It’s abusive.
  • Jezebels and Narcissists are insecure –  only they don’t want anyone to know about it. They often overreact to the dumbest things. They will blow a gasket at the drop of a hat, over anything. They are maniupulaters and blamers. In their mind anything that goes wrong is never their fault. They think they walk on water.
    • They will blame whoever is in their way. This way they feed their own ego. You can almost see their head blow up with their own hot air. When the blaming starts, take a deep breath and don’t belive them. Whatever comes out of their mouth is not true. They lie to cover things up all the time. Half of the time they do not even remember all the lies they tell.
  • Jezebesl and Narcissists  love to stir up drama. Have you ever noticed how they will poke and prod and gossip just to get someone upset? It makes them feel in control. They love to get other people angry.  I really think anger is fuel to them. They thrive on it.
    • Don’t play. Don’t react. Let their words fall to the ground.  Just because they said something doesn’t mean it is true. Sometimes this makes them even angrier, be prepared. It’s healthy to walk away, take a break, leave the room. You don’t have to watch them crash and burn.

Keep you peace this Holiday. If they want to be a jerk, let them. We have no contorl over other people’s bad behavior. It is not our fault they are jerks, that is their choice. What we can control is our reaction to it.

“Don’t feed the Jezebel or the Narcissist – they will only get uglier.”

Remember to put on your full armor and stand strong. Let it go, God will deal with them just like He did with Jezebel. Keep your peace. Don’t play. Pray, ask God to intercede. He will, and watch the Jezebels fall!

 

behavior, Boundaries, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Mental Illness, Narcissism, Quotes, Uncategorized

A Day in the Life-Quotes on Narcissism

A typical conversation with a Narcissist:

I said, “Stop calling me. I don’t want to talk about it.”

He said, “I will but I wanted to tell you how I feel about it.”

I answered, “I don’t care how you feel about it.”

Click. He hangs up the phone.  Two minutes later the texts start. He texts, “why don’t you practice what you preach?” I didn’t bite. I knew he was baiting me. I didn’t respond. They really hate that.

Two minutes later another text. I won’t repeat that one – lots of swear words. Again, I didn’t respond.A minute later the phone rings again. I can’t believe he’s still trying to call. No means no. I don’t answer again. I don’t want to participate in his drama.

I sit back down in my favorite chair. Take a deep breath and start to relax. Them I hear it from down the hall. He calls one of the kids. Great…here we go…

Quotes on Narcissism

  1. “The sadistic narcissist perceives himself as Godlike, ruthless and devoid of scruples, capricious and unfathomable, emotion-less and non-sexual, omniscient, omnipotent and omni-present, a plague, a devastation, an inescapable verdict.” ― Sam Vaknin
  2. “Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist’s need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.” ― Donald W. Black, DSM-5 Guidebook: The Essential Companion to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
  3. “Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited
  4. “To focus on how I’m doing more than what Christ has done is Christian narcissism” ― Tullian Tchividjian, Jesus + Nothing = Everything
  5. “The ‘Selfie Stick’ has to top the list for what best defines narcissism in society today.” ― Alex Morritt, Impromptu Scribe
  6. “There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. It’s always an assistant’s fault, an adviser’s fault, a lawyer’s fault. Ask them to account for a mistake any other way and they’ll say, ‘what mistake?” ― Jeffrey Kluger 
  7. “Relationships with narcissists are held in place by hope of a “someday better,” with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” ― Ramani Durvasula, Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist
  8. “Here lies the partner’s salvation: if you, as his intimate, wish to sever your relationship with the narcissist, stop providing him with what he needs. Do not adore, admire, approve, applaud, or confirm anything he does or says. Disagree with his views belittle him, reduce him to size, compare him to others, tell him he is not unique, criticize him, give unsolicited advice, and offer him help. In short, deprive him of the grandiose and fantastic illusions, which holds his personality together.  The narcissist is a delicately attuned piece of equipment. At the first sign of danger to his inflated False Self, he will quit and disappear on you.” ― Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited

 

(Image credits- Pinterest)

Boundaries, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Narcissism

Predatory People and Toxic Relationships

My rant to a harassing person from my past that will not respect my NO:

Not everyone is our friend. There are those people who are alongside the Enemy and just wish to kill, steal, and destroy. There is good, and there is evil. Learning to discern the difference between the two has been a journey for me. Evil people don’t wear horns and carry pitchforks. Sometimes they dress and act just like you and pretend to be a friend. So you try to help. Invite them in. And wonder why you got bit from the wolf 6 months later! There are Predatory People out there.

 The Bible teaches us that you will know a tree by its fruit. And some trees are bad. No amount of tlc will change it. Learning that I am not the Savior was a hard lesson for me. I kept getting myself into toxic relationships with Drama Kings and Queens until I learned to say NO. 

No, You don’t get to pretend to be my friend and stab me in the back at the same time. 

No, I will not allow you to treat me disrespectfully time after time and pretend it never happened. 

No, don’t expect me to believe a word that you say when all I hear are lies. 

No, you are not my friend and I do not have to let you back into my life. 

For the dog that keeps knocking on my door and trying to bully their way back in – NO. 

   
I forgave you, God commands me to do that. That doesn’t mean you get to come over and have lunch like nothing happened. God also gives us wisdom. 

Forgiveness does not mean that I accept what you did to me and my family. IT WAS WRONG. And you treated many others in your life the same way. I can’t believe we all believed the same lies. Wouldn’t you at least change your story? Playing the same ‘ruse’ is so sad. 

Forgiveness means that I trust God to deal with you. I am not your Savior. He is. I will not ‘tie’ myself to you in friendship. You do not know what that word means. Nor do I think you even care. In my opinion you are a Narcissist. All about you, all the time. They have real counselors that may be able to help you with that. Not me. Not my job.

I tried to help, but you only used that as an opportunity to attack. I will protect myself and my family from Predators. And I respect myself  and my family enough to say NO. 

Stop harassing me. No more emails, no more friend requests to me or my children, no more stopping by to damage anything where I live. Go live your life and leave me and my family out of it. 

  
  

(Image credits- simple reminders.com, ilovemylsi.com, Pinterst)

Jezebel, Narcissism, Spirituality

The Fire Falls Despite the Roots of Jezebel

Jezebel is a spirit. But where does it come from? That’s what I want to know. Why was she so hell bent on destruction? Why is she so against the Prophets of God? She must have got that way somehow. Yes, her Father led her the wrong way. She followed him into witchcraft and sorcery. It was her choice. And she led many astray.

But you know the interesting thing? There was a great man of God, Elijah, who displayed the powers and wonders of our God during her lifetime. God was there. And then it hit me:

Where there is an Elijah – there is a Jezebel.

 

Where there is a huge prophetic movement in a church or community – there will be a Jezebel spirit trying to pull it down. She will do whatever is necessary to divide the community, to push her fake ‘religious’ self and her agenda. And she hates the Spirit of the Living God. She will have those who follow and worship her.

But the good news – Elijah and God win! Elijah called down fire from Heaven and God answered his prayer. Even after the enemies of God poured water on the alter three times.

You cannot quench the fire and Spirit of God!

God is victorious! And the followers of Jezebel died that day. It’s quite an amazing story.  You can read it all at 1 Kings 18. Here is a sample:

 Now therefore, send and gather all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.” (1 Kings 18:19 NKJV)

 

 And it came to pass, at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near and said, “Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word.  Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”

Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench. Now when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “TheLord, He is God! The Lord, He is God!”

And Elijah said to them, “Seize the prophets of Baal! Do not let one of them escape!” So they seized them; and Elijah brought them down to the Brook Kishon and executed them there. (1 Kings 18: 36-40 NKJV)

 

After Elijah called down the fire of God. God showed Himself strong. And Elijah killed all Jezebel’s followers in one day.  After she heard the news Jezebel was determined to kill Elijah. Elijah had displayed how powerful God was, and how the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah had no power. They all died. Jezebel said she would kill Elijah. But again, God stepped in.

And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” And when he saw that,he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. (1 Kings 19:1-3 NKJV)

Here is an interesting article I found on how Jezebel spirits are ‘born’. I have mixed feelings about it, let me know what you think. It is very hard for me to see Jezebel as a ‘victim’. Yet, there was a doorway open somewhere that let that spirit in.

What do you think?

“Babies are born to be normal, loving beings.  This is to examine why anyone, like a Jezebel, would turn evil, or be open to an evil presence, that would dominate their thinking. Scripture says we war not against “flesh,” but against (evil) spirits, and principalities in high places.  We have to remember that Jezebel is a spirit that infects people, who are victims as much as those people they damage by their behavior.”

Read the full article at:

The Roots of Jezebel.

 

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(Photo Sources: burningfireshutinmybones.wordpress.com)

Boundaries, Bullying, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Jezebel, Narcissism, Rejection, Spirituality

Sweetie, It’s Not You, Your Dad is a Narcissist

This blog is a letter to my children. I have been married to 2 Narcissists in my life. The Church calls them Jezebel Spirits. Here is my life lesson. In my opinion a Narcissist does not know what love is. It is always all about them. We are not people – we are possessions. And in his eyes, we are here to bow down and worship him.  (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.)

NARCISSIST

1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental
attributes.

To all the children with a Narcissistic Parent:

You are old enough where we can have this conversation. I am so tired of the way he breaks your heart time and time again. Your tears break my heart. Every empty promise that brings you pain gives me pain too.

Can I share something with you? It’s not you. It’s not about anything you did or didn’t do. Sweetie, your father is a Narcissist.

According to Mythology:

Source:Wikpedia

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.

He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.

 

I am here to let you know that I love you. And I support you. I give you freedom to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes. I will be here to pick up the pieces when he degrades you and belittles you. I know what it feels like because he did it to me first.

 

I love you, and I will shelter you under the shadow of my wings just like God does for all of us. Put up the mirror around your heart and let his harsh words bounce off you as they are not true.  You are beautiful. You matter. You are smart. And I love you,

Mom

 

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

(All images from breakingupwithyournarcissist.com, Pinterest, brainwashingchildren.com, lattuera.com, Wikpedia, quotepixel.com, LaHuera.com)

Boundaries, Depression, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Music, Spirituality, Videos

Here is Your Sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

Here is your sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

What is a narcissist you ask? I wish I would have asked – years ago! Wow, that would have saved a lot of heartache.  I was married to one – well ok, two -before I found out what was really going on. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind – seriously.  After all, they said I was crazy. They said I didn’t know anything. They said I couldn’t remember the truth…you know right?

Ok, so 2 divorces later here I am to share with you the “wisdom” I gleaned on the way. I’m sure you have some too – feel free to leave me a comment!

Guess what – we are not crazy!

They are! Hahahahahaha!

 

Seriously – NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a mental condition. And requires psychotherapy. All those years I spent in therapy thinking it was ALL my fault! Honestly, you have to laugh or cry!

According to the Mayo Clinic:

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

  • Believing that you’re better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
  • Taking advantage of others
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
  • Being jealous of others
  • Believing that others are jealous of you
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships
  • Setting unrealistic goals
  • Being easily hurt and rejected
  • Having a fragile self-esteem
  • Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

 

 

More Signs of a Narcissit

1. It’s all about them. You don’t exist – except to listen to them brag about how important they are. They have very over-inflated egos. They are arrogant and prideful. Yes, they really do believe their s#*t does not stink!

2. Your feelings really don’t matter to them. You could talk until you are blue in the face and they still would not understand. And most of the time they really don’t care anyway.

3. They refuse to take responsibility for anything – ever. Even if they are caught red-handed. It is always somebody else’s fault for everything bad that happens to them.

4. They lie – a lot. They really have no sense of what is true and what is false. And their lies get bigger and more grandiose every time they tell the same story.

5.  They really do believe that they are superior and better than you. That’s why they take every opportunity to point out all of your flaws. They will cut you down and humiliate you in public just to make themselves feel better. Abusers are usually narcissistic.

6.  They really are two-faced.  In the beginning they are charming, and flattering. They entice you into their web of lies. And most people who don’t know them fall for it too. But behind closed doors the ‘snake’ comes out.

7.  They are vindictive.  They never forget who hurt them and will not miss an opportunity to retaliate. It might even be years later, yet they still hang onto anger and absolutely refuse to forgive anyone for anything. If you make them look bad ever, you will get clobbered.

8. They are masters at turning the tables. They will take something they are doing, and accuse you of the same thing. For ex. My ex was lying, so he accused me of lying. They will be having an affair, and then turn around and accuse you of having an affair. When they do something it is ok, but if you do it – you are wrong and stupid, and get humiliated.

And now, some perfect narcissist songs!

“I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!”

“ITS ALL ABOUT YOU”