This is a poem that I turned into a song that describes what it is like to live in Domestic Violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men live like this everyday. And also a video that some of my friends did with CSpan about helping those living in abuse. Help us Lord to break the yoke of oppression in their lives and shine Your Light into their darkness, in Jesus Name.
She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar
like steam on the glass, shame covers her past
the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds
His worst fantasy, her reality
he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things
a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance
smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness
clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion
He veils perversion, forcing her coercion
her body he takes, while she flies away
unbelievable, she’s invisible
love is the shadow, that darkens her window
she’s crying for help, to escape her hell
smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness
she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog
hates her behavior, craves one to save her
smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness
“Is this not the fast that I have chosen: To loose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out; When you see the naked, that you cover him, And not hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58:6-9 NKJV)
This is also the title of my book – SNOW WHITE DARKNESS – Smothered by Control. It contains my journal entries from when I was living in abuse. Thank you Lord for deliverance for me and my children!
And here is the Album – available from GooglePlay. Thank you in advance for your love and support!
“And now for today’s prompt (optional, as always). Love poems are a staple of the poetry scene. It’s pretty hard to be a poet and not write a few – or a dozen – or maybe six books’ worth. But because so many love poems have been written, there are lots of clichés. Fill your poems with robins and hearts and flowers, and you’ll sound more like a greeting card than a bard. So today, I challenge you to write a “loveless” love poem. Don’t use the word love! And avoid the flowers and rainbows. And if you’re not in the mood for love? Well, the flip-side of the love poem – the break-up poem – is another staple of the poet’s repertoire. If that’s more your speed at present, try writing one of those, but again, avoid thunder, rain, and lines beginning with a plaintive “why”? Try to write a poem that expresses the feeling of love or lovelorn-ness without the traditional trappings you associate with the subject matter.”
Last time we talked about exercising our faith by honoring our bodies in SPRING TRAINING #1 – HONORING OUR BODIES. Today I would like to focus on another area that I personally am working on and that is how to make our money work for us. I admit it, I have been ignorant in this area. No class in High School or College prepared me for how to manage money. Yes, I can balance a checkbook, and input numbers for a profit/loss statement, but how to manage the everyday flow of it? No way. Good news though – we are never too old to learn.
This past week I went to the library and got myself some advice from the experts, Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman. These are two that are well known for their ability to teach others how to make our money work for us. I started reading and I have to admit I am learning already. I have had a ‘hands-off’ approach to money. I hate it. And we have been living paycheck-to-paycheck for years. It’s stressful. We have had late fees and overdrafts. It’s humiliating. There has to be a better way. God did not call us to lack any good thing. So here I am, learning how to manage money – Hallelujah!
“This is ridiculous,” I murmered. “Only in America could you drive a Jaguar and not have the money to put gas in it.” I wondered where the arrogant young man from a few years ago was. There I stood in the cold, a man in my twenties, knowing I was in the process of losing virtually everything I owned.
Yes, Yes, Yes, I can relate to this! I am still readingFINANCIAL PEACE, so I may add to this post later, lol!
QUOTES ABOUT MONEY FROM DAVE RAMSEY
“You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.” ― Dave Ramsey
“As a culture we are ignorant of what money is and how to handle it. Ignorance is not lack of intelligence; it is lack of knowledge on a particular subject.” ― Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace Revisited
“You must walk to the beat of a different drummer. The same beat that the wealthy hear. If the beat sounds normal, evacuate the dance floor immediately! The goal is to not be normal, because as my radio listeners know, normal is broke.” ― Dave Ramsey, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
“Without a mission statement, you may get to the top of the ladder and then realize it was leaning against the wrong building!” ― Dave Ramsey
“Act your wage.” ― Dave Ramsey
“Pray like it all depends on God, but work like it all depends on you.” ― Dave Ramsey
“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” ― Dave Ramsey
“For your own good, for the good of your family and your future, grow a backbone. When something is wrong, stand up and say it is wrong, and don’t back down.”― Dave Ramsey, The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
“Fear is the enemy of hope.”
― Dave Ramsey
SPRING TRAINING #2 – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUR MONEY
1. Admit that we have been in denial about our money.
We have not been active in managing our money. Our bank fees and overdrafts speak to our inactivity to look at, plan an attack, and conquer our goals in this area of our lives
2. Seek out help from those who have mastered this skill.
We may not have had the training or skills to master money. That’s ok. We can start today. Today can be the day we take our heads out of the sand and learn to manage what God has given us.
3. Be willing to sacrifice
There is nothing more humbling that writing down everything you spend your money on. I know I have done it. Seriously, I had no idea I spent so much on ______. (fill in the blank). But the truth is the truth. And once we know, we can make intelligent choices on what to do next.
4. Make a plan
We have to be willing to look forward, past today, past the week, and plan what we would like to do with our money. I would love a vacation. We didn’t even go on a honeymoon. I would love to save for that. What about you?
5. Work the plan
Change happens when we are willing to go through the rough parts, the ugly parts and keep going. Take baby steps. Review your progress daily. Persevere my friends, it will be worth it.
6. Reward yourself for achieving your little goals.
Pay off the little credit cards and debts first (yes that’s what Dave says). Start to build momentum. Keep track, make a bulletin board or whatever, but make it visual and mark off when you accomplish paying off a debt. Celebrate!
7. Enjoy being a good servant of God!
God gave us our talents. He asked us to go multiply them. Whether you believe talents are money or what gifts you have been given He asks us to multiply both. Being ignorant and doing nothing is like burying our money and expecting it to grow. I don’t know about you, but I for one am ready for change. I can’t wait to hear, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”
Here are some great PRAYER POINTS from POWER OF FAITH MINISTRIES. Prayer changes things. I can tell you when my husband and I said these verses out loud, money that was delayed for over a month was suddenly paid. There is power in the Name and Blood of Jesus. Print yourself out a copy. This ministry has 2 churches in Spain and one in Nigeria.
The daughter of American missionaries, Shelley Hundley was born in Colombia, and grew up on the campus of a seminary that trained leaders to serve in what was one of the most violent nations in the world. After suffering abuse at the hands of a minister in the community, she turns from God, angry and confused that He could allow this to happen.
In A Cry for Justice, Hundley uses her story as a backdrop to show how she found healing from the pain, guilt, and shame of the abuse she endured as a child and how she came to know Jesus in a new way: as a righteous judge who fights for His people and takes upon Himself the burden of our injustices and pain.
The story of Shelley Hundley’s journey from bitter atheist to wholehearted lover of God is unique. Yet what she learned on this journey is relevant to every person who has ever been hurt and has silently wondered, “Who will fight for me? Who can make the wrong things right?”
Did you know today is Blog Action Day? Join bloggers from around the world and write a post about what inequality means to you. Have you ever encountered it in your daily life?
(Don’t forget to tag your post with “Inequality” — or #inequality on Twitter — so that other participants might find it.)
In this book, leading prophetic voice Jennifer LeClaire guides readers along the journey of a prophet– from the initial call all the way through to maturity.
This “making” process is anything but easy. But LeClaire offers honest, accessible counsel to help you move into your prophetic call. Her spiritual insights will help you overcome the fear of man, identify and eliminate wrong motives and, above all, pursue intimacy with God.
Many prophets are called . . . but not everyone endures the “making process” to his or her prophetic destiny.
God is looking for people to entrust with the secrets of His heart.
Embrace the journey toward your call with this comprehensive, practical guide, and experience the awesome process of being formed into a mouthpiece for the God of the universe.
“A clean read filled with good information. LeClaire covers a wide range of issues that affect prophetic ministry, tackling them biblically and with practical wisdom.”–R. Loren Sandford, senior pastor, New Song Church and Ministries
“Written for this hour! Whether you just have some small inkling or have ministered a long time in the prophetic, there is much wisdom to be mined like treasure from its page. Destined to be a classic for generations to come.”–Cindy Jacobs, Generals International; Dallas
“Whatever the sacrifice, take The Making of a Prophet into your hands and into your heart. I can assure you it will not let you go until your questions are answered.”–Steve Hill, evangelist; author, Spiritual Avalanche
Chosen Books has released “The Making of a Prophet: Practical Advice for Developing Your Prophetic Voice,” by Jennifer LeClaire. Jennifer LeClaire God gave me the idea for this book 10 years ago. I wanted to read something that would help me—but…
Smothered by control, she runs to hide and locks herself behind the door. She starts rocking herself on the cold bathroom floor as she lays her secrets out like rock hard stones. He is outside the door pounding his fists quoting his Bible. He screams, “You must obey!” She grabs the razor at the side of the tub, then looks away.
Diana Rasmussen takes you behind the locked door to see what it’s really like when you live in domestic violence. As a survivor she fought for her and her children’s freedom and won. Theses poems are from her private journals and many have become songs. Fans have called her words “haunting, powerful, and edgy”. See for yourself, and come into her nightmare in SNOW WHITE DARKNESS.
Yep, Thanks to all of you for encouraging me to do this! This is a collection of my ‘dark’ poetry from the trenches. I would like to use part of the proceeds to benefit other victims of Domestic Violence.
About a 6-8 months ago I had the pleasure to meet Secret Angelon WordPress. We connected through our blogs. Yet God always has a bigger plan doesn’t He? Angel and I have similar pasts and she is an amazing woman with an amazing testimony. Today is her book release of THE WALKING WOUNDED. I had the pleasure of reading her book and I highly recommend it. It is available for purchase today – her eBook is only $10! Click on the image above and get your copy today!
Here is my Review:
Diana Rasmussen of Prayers and Promises: Worship Leader, Faith Builder, and Recording Artist
Secret Angel’s book “THE WALKING WOUNDED” has helped me to heal. I read her poem on WordPress and it touched me right away.
SO MUCH HURT! SO MUCH PAIN!
“THE WALKING WOUNDED!” THAT’S THEIR NAME!
After reading her book, I can truly say that God is still in control, and He makes ways where there were no ways. I found myself diving in to read chapter after chapter. And then I would have to stop and receive the healing that God put in her words. Angel is so honest, so truthful about what if feels like to live in abuse. She shares with such passion and emotion what really goes on behind closed doors with an Abuser. There were many times I just stopped reading and cried – for me and for her.
Angel also shares how God directed her every move to stay safe and get out. Provision, protection, and deliverance – are all in her book. Her story is an amazing testimony of what God can do when we cry out to him for help. It touched my heart and gives me hope for the many, many women she will help set free. I would recommend this book to anyone and everyone who is or knows someone in an abusive relationship. There is healing here!
Secret Angel and I collaborated and released the song “WALKING WOUNDED” based on her poem. It is available at CDBaby and Amazon.
So, you wonder, if you used to live in abuse and domestic violence, how did you get out Ms. D? Funny you should ask. I recently came across a book/teaching/bible study that was planted in me about 10 years ago. This particular way of looking at things helped me learn how to build healthy boundaries and have healthy relationships. I didn’t know what healthy looked like. I did not have any boundaries – I said yes to everything and everyone. And I got buried. This series will focus on the book:
“BOUNDARIES- WHEN TO SAY YES AND WHEN TO SAY NO” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
What Does a Boundary Look Like?
In the physical world, boundaries are easy to see. Fences, signs, walls, moats with alligators, manicured lawns, or hedges are all physical boundaries. In their differing appearances, they give the same message: THIS IS WHERE MY PROPERTY BEGINS. The owner of the property is legally responsible for what happens on his or her property. Non-owners are not responsible for the property. And if it’s not yours – leave it alone.
In the Spiritual world, boundaries are just as real, but often harder to see. The goal of this lesson is to help you determine your intangible boundaries and to recognize them as an ever-present reality that can increase your love and save your life. In reality, these boundaries define your soul, and they help you guard it and maintain it.
“And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:16-17 NIV)
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.:” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)
Me and Not Me
Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.
Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. If I know where my yard begins and ends, I am free to do with it what I like. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. However, if I do not “own” my life, my choices and options become very limited.
Think how confusing it would be if someone told you to “guard this property diligently, because I will hold you responsible for what happens here,” and then did not tell you the boundaries of the property. Or they did not give you the means with which to protect the property? This would be not only confusing but also potentially dangerous.
This is exactly what happens to us emotionally and spiritually, however. God designed a world where we all live “within” ourselves; that is, we inhabit our own souls, and we are responsible for the things that make up “us”.
The Bible tells us clearly what our parameters are and how to protect them, but often our family, or other past relationships, confuses us about our parameters. For example, if you were raised in a home where you were always berated and put-down, you many not have any boundaries; you might not be able to say no to anything. Or, you just have walls — to make sure no one is coming in.
In addition to showing us what we are responsible for, boundaries help us to define what is not on our property and what we are not responsible for. We are not, for example, responsible for other people. We are not responsible for what others do or don’t do with their things either. Nowhere are we commanded to have “other-control”; although we spend a lot of time and energy trying to get it!
TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR Part 2 – “To and For” and “Good In, Bad Out”
Well yesterday we talked about Jezebel and the Spirit of Control, today lets visit Ahab. I was an Ahab, for years. I would do anything to keep the peace, I hated confrontation, I would roll-over-and-play-dead way too easily. When the Abuser said it was my fault, I just agreed, to avoid an argument. But then, after a while, you start to believe those things. Even if they are not true. Jezebel can’t do what they do without an Ahab.
Again, once I was free, I had to look at my behavior, and what I could do differently so I would not end up in the same place. I did not ask for the abuse, it was wrong. But what was I doing to change my thoughts and behavior so that an Abusive person would not entice me again? These are the questions I struggled with. Was it my fault – no, I didn’t deserve abuse, and neither did my children. Did I ask for it – no, that was another lie. Was I deceived – yes, and after years, unfortunately, the abnormal becomes normal. I learned how to ‘survive’.
Did I want to go around this mountain one more time – NO! That’s when God lead me out of the valley of Abuse, when I was open to a new way. He put people in my like that affirmed me. “No, you are not crazy, this is wrong.” Thank you Lord, for sending those Angels!
God gave me a DOOR OF HOPE in my valley of trouble!
Once again, another Steve Sampson’s book; this one is called
“Discerning and Defeating The Ahab Spirit
the Key to Breaking Free”
Characteristics of the Ahab Spirit
Passive versus Aggressive character traits
Overmerciful overlegalistic. Passive people like Ahab tend to be overmerciful, seeing the best in every person and overlooking too much. They forgive others too quickly (not making them aware of their offense) and also forgive people who have not asked for forgiveness and are not even remorseful. This almost certainly guarantees the abuser’s continued behavior. Aggressive people like Jezebel are on the other extreme — harsh in their expectations and unforgiving when people do not meet their unrealistic expectations.
Walking away from a person versus walking over a person. People with passive Ahab personalities quickly give away their power and walk away in order to avoid conflict. They find it easier to push their feelings inside. On the other hand, people with aggressive personalities seem to have no concern or conscience about whom they step on and use, as long as they get their way.
Avoiding confrontation versus in-your-face confrontation. Passive people avoid confrontation at all costs and will even blame themselves when others insult or betray them. However, aggressive people have no problem handing out insults and pushing blame on whomever they happen to choose. They have no regard for others’ feelings, and will more or less tell you this.
Peacekeepers versus peacemakers. Passive personalities are notorious for being peacekeepers. They want the temporary, immediate gratification of keeping the peace at any price rather than “making peace” by boldly dealing with the issues at hand, which would result in more permanent, long-term gratification.
Grumbling under one’s breath versus open verbal abuse. People with passive personalities will resent verbal assaults, but they will refuse to take the offender to task and stop the behavior. Instead, they usually walk away grumbling. Aggressive people feel free to openly vent, abuse others and tell them off. Just minutes later, they will act as if nothing happened, even though they have left resentful people with wounded hearts in their wake. Jezebel personalities are so self-centered that they do not even realize they have severely damaged the people who happened to be in their destructive path, and Ahab personalities leave others feeling responsible for them as victims.
Do not mind being wrong (if you’ll approve of me) versus refusing ever to be wrong (I’ll love you if you see things my way). Passive people often have such a need for approval that they will take the blame for anything if they perceive it as winning them your acceptance. Aggressive people will love you until you disagree with them! Then that love becomes a destructive hatred for you, and they will even go to the point of trying to destroy you and your reputation.
Fear of nonacceptance versus fear of rejection. While passive people will do almost anything to gain acceptance, aggressive people (who are always insecure and often wounded people) have a huge fear of rejection. Their actions come out of an “attack mode” because they are determined never to experience rejection again.
Low self-esteem (clothed in nice) versus low self-esteem (clothed in fear of more hurt). Passive people are usually nice people — too nice. They have low self-worth and try to gain ground by winning acceptance. Aggressive people also have low self-esteem, but usually they are bold, arrogant and pushy — all in an effort (because of old wounds) to avoid more hurt.
Fear of what people think of me versus fear of people not agreeing with me. The fear of man totally binds most passive people. They spend amazing amounts of energy trying to please everyone — even those they do not know or those who could not care less about them. Aggressive individuals, on the other hand, are so insecure that they see anyone who chooses to disagree with them as the enemy. Filled with their own insecurities, aggressive people perceive any type of correction as more rejection.
Anger directed inward versus anger directed toward others. Passive people are notorious for directing anger and insults back at themselves. If something goes wrong, they simply blame themselves. They often have major anger issues and will ultimately become passive-aggressive. Aggressive people pour their anger out on anyone who is available. They rarely look at themselves because they are so convinced that they are right. These aggressive personalities are self-appointed figures who think one of their roles is to correct the rest of the world. Sometimes they are sarcastically referred to as “gods in training.”
Accepting blame too easily versus projecting blame (you made me do it). Typically, passive people will quickly embrace blame in a situation in order to put everyone else at ease. While this is actually a kind of false humility, passive people have the goal of making everyone happy again in order to increase their own self-worth. Like Jezebel, aggressive people will take blame for nothing! Even when caught in a wrong, their defense is, “You made me do it.” “Yes, I robbed the bank, but it’s your fault because you didn’t give me enough money …”
(list is from: http://www.propheciesofrevelation.org)
Excerpt taken from “Discerning and Defeating the Ahab Spirit: The Key to Breaking Free From Jezebel” by Steve Sampson, pages 34-36 To read more, buy the book! Steve Sampson has written a number of books about the Christian walk. He travels and ministers extensively, offering encouragement, faith, and healing to the body of Christ. Steve has three children and lives in Birmingham, Alabama.
Every now and again you receive a teaching that transforms you, that helps you see things as they really are. I am sharing this, as it helped me know why I was continually hooking up with abusive men. Why was I the one attracted to the Jezebel Spirit? Yep, I was an Ahab. I would do anything for love and attention. I didn’t see it then, but once I was free and safe, I had to look at my behavior. I didn’t want to keep repeating the same pattern. I took a year off from dating – yep, for the first time in my life – I wasn’t attached to anyone. It was the best thing I ever did. I came to know God. I learned to sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him heal the emptiness inside my soul. Places and wounds that I had tried to heal with relationships – bad relationships. And then, things started to change for Ms. D.
Maybe you have met this person – nice to you when someone is watching, then turns around and stabs you in the back. You know the one – they always have to be the center of attention. And will use anyone or anything to get on top. I have run across this Spirit more than once, both in church and in the world. And she/he has a partner – Ahab, the negotiator, the doormat, the one who will do anything for love and acceptance – whether it was right or wrong. Yep I was an Ahab…(Steve has a book for that too!)
The Jezebel Spirit
30 Amazingly Consistent Traits of the Jezebel Spirit
“Jezebel is a spirit, but it has found access through uncrucified flesh.”
Although the Jezebel spirit seems to be more prevalent in women, there is no doubt that it functions just as proficiently through men. (page 59)
1. Refuses to admit guilt or wrong
A Jezebel spirit is never wrong, unless it is a temporary admittance of guilt to gain “favor” with someone. To accept responsibility would violate the core of insecurity and pride from which it operates. When a Jezebel apologizes it isnever in true repentance or acknowledgment of wrongdoing but rather “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.”
2. Takes credit for everything
While a strong trait of Jezebel is to never take responsibility for his wrong actions or behavior, he also is quick to take credit for benefits for which he contributed no effort.
3. Uses people to accomplish its agenda
The Jezebel spirit lets others do its dirty work. The Jezebel gets another person’s emotions stirred up, then lets that person go into a rage. The Jezebel sits back looking innocent, saying “Who me? What did I do?” This behavior makes it difficult for even the most ardent truth seekers to pin one down. The Jezebel spirit is clever in its agenda.
4. Withholds information
This is a form of control. A Jezebel wields power over you by knowing something you don’t know in a situation. In the eyes of a Jezebel, having information you don’t have is a powerful weapon of control.
5. Talks in confusion
It is impossible to converse with a Jezebel in logic. One pastor wrote a six-page letter to his elders about a situation in the church. The context was so vague that no one was without confusion. This is a way to maintain control and domination. When confronting a Jezebel, the subject may be changed five times in one minute. Confusion keeps them “undiscovered” and unexposed.
6. Volunteers for anything
A Jezebel volunteers in order to establish control. He seemingly has endless (nervous) energy and eagerly looks for opportunities to be in charge of projects. Although he will work hard, his motive is never pure, and eventually his secret agenda cannot be hidden.
A Jezebel lies convincingly. No one can lie better than he can. He can turn on the charm and make you believe blue is red. He always fools those whom he’s just met while those who have been victimized by his tactics stand by helplessly. The fact that Jezebel can look you in the eye and lie just shows how strong and adamant this rebellious and recalcitrant spirit is.
8. Ignores people
A classic ploy of a controller is to ignore you when you disagree with him. This tactic is frequently used by leaders when someone doesn’t agree with their plans, and they isolate the person by ignoring him. Some in these situations have been ignored for months, just because they chose not to be a puppet and say to every idea or whim. This puts the person out of the leader’s grace and forces him to either “come around” to the leader’s way of thinking or be indefinitely ignored. One is not free to disagree with a controller.
9. Never gives credit or shows gratitude
A Jezebel will rarely acknowledge another person’s actions, not even for something that turned out to greatly benefit the Jezebel. He just cannot bring himself to say thank you or to acknowledge that someone else did something right. There are those who have gone out of their way to bless a Jezebel by being the catalyst of sending him on a trip or giving a gift. Yet never will there be a thank you. This again puts the controller in a position of power.
10. Criticizes everyone
This is a characteristic of a controller. He has to be the one who looks good, so he will quickly sharply criticize anyone who makes a suggestion or plan. Even though he likes the plan, he can only criticize it because the idea did not originate from him. Criticizing others elevates the controller in his own mind.
A person with a Jezebel spirit will always upstage another person. He feels threatened by anyone who dares to steal the limelight or anyone who is a threat to his power and control. If you are with such a person and tell of your accomplishment or victory, you can be assured he will quickly tell of something he has accomplished.
12. Sequesters information
A Jezebel loves to be in control of information. If there is ever a situation where information is important, he will push to be the “first” to know it. He seems to know everything about everyone. Where he gets all his information is beyond comprehension, but he can dictate to you data and details about people’s lives and actions in mass quantities.
13. Uses information
A Jezebel uses information as a leverage for power and then shares tidbits with you, often things told him in confidence. This gives him a sense of power, even to the point of trying to impress people by “knowing things” that others do not.
14. Talks incessantly
Many people talk habitually, but a Jezebel uses talking as a form of control. In a typical conversation, he does all the talking, whether it is about sports, the weather or the Kingdom of God. Because of this form of control, he is unable to receive input from anyone in his life. All conversation with him is one-sided. You are doing the listening.
15. Spiritualizes everything
When a controller is confronted, he commonly spiritualizes the situation, explaining it off on God. This prevents him from owning up to responsibility required of him. The implication is always, “You’ve got a problem; I don’t.”
16. Is insubordinate
A Jezebel never takes the side of the employer or a person in authority, unless it is a temporary action to make himself look good. He often will take credit for someone else’s idea. His main desire is for power and control. There is no conscience when an opportunity for recognition presents itself.
17. Is pushy and domineering
A person with a Jezebel spirit pressures you to do things, seemingly ripping from you your right to choose or make a decision for yourself. He makes others feel as though they don’t have enough sense to think for themselves.
18. Is clairvoyant
Many who operate with a spirit of control also have a clairvoyant spirit. A Jezebel has supernatural help in knowing and sensing information. If he uses this against you, he may say “I can’t tell you how I know this. I just know it.” This is not the Holy Spirit, but the help of a clairvoyant or familiar spirit. Clairvoyance may be defined as the power to perceive things that are out of the range of human senses.
19. Uses the element of surprise
A Jezebel’s main thrust is to be in control, and a large part of control is catching you off guard. Therefore, the element of surprise works well when he shows up a day early for a meeting, etc.
20. Sows seeds of discord
A Jezebel will continually belittle another person in the most subtle way. The strategy is to “gain” control by minimizing the value of another person. It is common for him to tell half-truths to implicate another person in your eyes. By sowing these seeds, he hopes to eventually reap a harvest of destruction, improving his position of power.
21. Commands attention
A Jezebel likes to be the center of attention and doesn’t like to see others recognized and lauded. When someone else is recognized, he will quickly undermine the person’s accomplishments verbally.
22. Is vengeful
Since a Jezebel is never wrong, if you contradict or confront one, get ready to become his worst enemy. As long as you are in agreement with him, all is fine. But if you confront or challenge him, then look out. You are the target of his fiercest venom. A Jezebel will stop at nothing to destroy your reputation.
23. Attempts to make you look like you’re the Jezebel
A Jezebel spirit is difficult to pin down. If the person is near to being confronted, he or she will skillfully twist the entire situation, trying to make the innocent person look like the one who is attempting to control. As always, the Jezebel will do anything to look like the one who is right.
24. Insinuates disapproval
A Jezebel will often imply disapproval to those under his or her control. The controlled person feels no freedom to express an opinion, for fear of disapproval. This often manifests in a marriage or in a working environment.
25. Knows it all
A Jezebel is usually blatant regarding his knowledge of everything. Quick to express his opinion in any area, he leaves little room for anyone to point out the other side of an issue. He has made idols of his opinions.
26. Is ambitious
The Jezebel has strong desire, but all for self. “I want what I want when I want it,” describes his worship of self-will. A Jezebel leader will never use the words, “We have a vision,” but rather, “My vision is thus and so.”
27. Gift giving
Gift giving is a form of manipulation a Jezebel uses that always makes you feel obligated to him. It also compromises the victim in speaking direct and confronting truth. Naturally, not everyone who gives gifts is guilty of control, but gift giving is a tactic used by those who have a need to control.
28. Is independent
No one has input in a Jezebel’s life. He fraternizes with no one unless it is to get you to “cooperate” with his agenda.
29. Is religious
A Jezebel dwells in the local church but doesn’t like authority unless he is in the position of authority.
We all want to believe that the person with a Jezebel spirit is delivered. The person may seem “normal” for a period, exhibiting none of the classic traits. Then suddenly without warning a situation will arise, once again with the spirit taking control and wreaking havoc over lives. Hopefully, true repentance will come. Only then will the person be delivered.
NOTE: A friend has reminded me of one very prominent and important characteristic that is missing from this list written by Steve Sampson so I have added characteristic 31.
31. Sex and seduction
Jezebels will always try to lure their victim into bed to commit fornication or adultery. Jezebel really does not care about sex. This evil spirit uses sex as a way to control you.
Excerpt taken from “Confronting Jezebel: Discerning and Defeating the Spirit of Control” by Steve Sampson, pages 62-68 To read more,buy the book!
Steve Sampson has written a number of books about the Christian walk. He travels and ministers extensively, offering encouragement, faith, and healing to the body of Christ. Steve has three children and lives in Birmingham, Alabama.
“But why do you let that Jezebel who calls herself a prophet mislead my dear servants into Cross-denying, self-indulging religion? I gave her a chance to change her ways, but she has no intention of giving up a career in the god-business. I’m about to lay her low, along with her partners, as they play their sex-and-religion games. The bastard offspring of their idol-whoring I’ll kill. Then every church will know that appearances don’t impress me. I x-ray every motive and make sure you get what’s coming to you. (Revelation 2:20-23 MSG)