Tag: lies

12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

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Be Bold

Be bold

 

Be bold, courageous, and fight my Warrior Princesses and Princes. This is not the time to hide. There are many battles to be won by the Kingdom of God. Yes, the Lord will fight for us, but we need to show up to the battlefield with our armor on!

 

Lion of Judah

 The wicked flee when no man pursues them, but the [uncompromisingly] righteous are bold as a lion. (Proverbs 28:1 AMP)

 

Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and  very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9 AMP)

 

In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self. (Psalm 138:3 AMP)

 

Since we have such [glorious] hope (such joyful and confident expectation), we speak very freely and openly and fearlessly. (2 Corinthians 3:12 AMP)

 

Ephesians 6

 

There is still a battle going on my friends. And these days the darkness is increasing. We have two choices:

1. Run and hide

2. Shine the Light in the darkness.

I have been silent the last few days. After my last blog post about “How to Recognize a Witch that comes to Church” I have been bombarded by negative comments from practicing witches. Especially on my Tumblr sight. There have been over 40 likes, reblogs, comments etc.(click here to read them for yourself)

 

And my sister, a practicing shaman, has attacked me as well. I had to choose which way to respond this week. I chose to stand. To stand on the Word of God, the Blood of Jesus, and used my testimony to share what I believe. Some were open to sharing beliefs and thoughts and others just attacked.

 

It is sad, they have been lied to. Satan is the father of all lies. They have been decieved. They are worshippers, but talk to dead people and spirits instead of Jesus. And their lives eventually will end in death and hell. If they curse us, the curse comes back to them 3 times over. And like the slave girl in Acts 16, they are being used for profit.
As we were on our way to the place of prayer, we were met by a slave girl who was possessed by a spirit of divination [claiming to foretell future events and to discover hidden knowledge], and she brought her owners much gain by her fortunetelling.

She kept following Paul and [the rest of] us, shouting loudly, These men are the servants of the Most High God! They announce to you the way of salvation!

And she did this for many days. Then Paul, being sorely annoyed and worn out, turned and said to the spirit within her, I charge you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her! And it came out that very moment. (Acts 16:16-18)

 

Yes, “Greater is He who is in us than He who is in the world.” But how will they know if we do not open our mouths and testify? Yes, there will be persecution. But isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be? Be be bold with your faith my friends. Wake up from slumber and apathy. There are souls to be won and lives to be changed. Pray for Light to shine into the darkness, and be willing to take it there. No, not all witches will respond to the light – but that is their choice. That doesn’t mean we don’t shine it. There is a war to be won, and we know who wins!

 

 

You Are More Precious Than You Know – For Posterity

Here is my response for the DAILY POST – For Posterity

Your blog just became a viral sensation. What’s the one post you’d like new readers to see and remember you by? Write that post.

 

You are more precious than you know. If you are like me than sometimes we let others define us.  I look back at old pictures and it amazes me how I changed my appearance based on who I was dating at the time.  Hey, there is Diana the prep, Diana the biker, Diana the country chic, Diana the Professional, etc.  Can you relate?

I have also accepted so many different labels in my life. Things that just are not true.  I went through the 12 step rigamaroe – my name is____ and I’m a ____ and I will be forever. What a pile of garbage. I can’t believe I bought all that stuff at face value.  No, I am not a ______  – not now, not then,  not ever! God does not say that about me – so it is NOT TRUE! As you can see, I am not a fan of the 12 steps.  I have found them to be pits of very unsafe people. You can read about it here:

 Do Twelve Step Meetings Open the Door to Sexual Predators?

 

powerful-thoughtsIt is true that our thoughts become our actions. But only if we allow it and take those words into our hearts.  Just because someone says something does not mean it’s true. But if you tell an Eagle it is a Chicken – and it chooses to believe that lie, then it will not learn to fly.  Tell a girl she is a victim and tell her she will always be that way –  then she will attract abuser after abuser.  Tell a person they have always been a drunk, are a drunk, and will be forever a drunk – and guess what? They go back to drink. If you tell someone they will be that way forever and they believe it, they will stay that way. How does that help anyone get better?How does that help anyone get better? Hence, my dislike for any ‘program’ that exalts itself above the WORD of God.

YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN YOU KNOW.

  • All those labels people tried to get you to wear – let them fall to the ground.

  • All those things people said about you – they weren’t true – let them fall to the ground.

  • All those words you said to yourself after believing those lies – let them fall to the ground.

 

Ok, now for my spunky part. Idk why I do this. I guess I am just not afraid to say what I feel needs to be said. And I have been on both sides of the street, so perhaps I am not ‘indoctrinated’ too badly.

Give grace, love without regret, and live – be happy – it drives them crazy!!

And a bit of advice for all the Finger Pointers, Acpridecusers, Pharisees, and Liars out there:

  • Demeaning others and calling them names does not motivate people to change.
  • Telling someone they will ‘always be that way’ – does not motivate people to change.
  • Shaming someone and calling them their ‘sin’ does not motivate people to change.
  • Talking about how holy and righteous you are and how others just need to ‘shape up or ship out” does not motivate people to change.
  • Gossiping about others does not motivate people to change.
  • Throwing the ‘get right with God or else you’re going to hell’ does not motivate people to change.
  • God msinnersakes me new everyday – I refuse to accept your picture of who you think I am.
  • Your warped picture of me is not who I am.  Those words you called me are bouncing right back to you.
  • I am a work in progress, and so are my brothers and sisters. I am more than what I do or don’t do. So is the rest of the family. We all have ‘stuff”. And guess what, God already knows about it! And He loves us anyway – stuff and all.
  • If you don’t have anything positive to say, do us a favor, sit down and be quiet!
  • I will put my trust in God and the Holy Spirit, my helper, will do the work in me from the inside-out.  So put down your stick. It is not helping.
  • We are God’s chosen and His beloved children – that’s what He said. Who said you get to beat up on God’s kids and call them names?

 

pharisee

 

Masks

Masks

Masks

Copyright 2014 Diana Rasmussen

You can keep your Top 40
Wear those $100 jeans
I see right through you
Just wanting to be mean

You smile to my face
Then stab me in the back
Spread my secrets for
Bread crumbs like a task

Do you love me or hate me?
I just have to ask
I can’t tell the difference
When you hide behind masks

Gossip and slander while
you say you’re my friend
I wish I had the answers
But you want to pretend

You love to criticize
Anything, everyone
I wish I hadn’t trusted
You in the long run

Do you love me or hate me?
I just have to ask
I can’t tell the difference
When you hide behind masks

 

 

 

Poker face

 

(Images from Pinterest)

Stop the Voices in Your Head

Have you ever heard voices in your head? No I am not crazy.  But I do know that not all voices are good – and sometimes we just need to tell them to shut up.  Especially the accusing voice.  The voice that likes to condemn, and put down, and talks about how unworthy you are.  Can I say right now, that is NOT the voice of God.  God is the lifter of our heads.  It is the enemy trying to get us to run and hide in the bushes. Because we have a Royal Calling – a Destiny in the Kingdom. And we have been authorized to advance the Kingdom – we are Ambassadors of Christ. We carry His Power and Authority to do His work. That’s why the enemy keeps trying to talk to us and get us to run and hide. Like Adam and Eve did after they ate that apple – they went and hid in the bushes.

Psalm 3

 

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

(Psalm 3:3 AMP)

 

 

Remember Eve in the Garden with the snake? He told Eve that God was holding out on her. That if she ate that apple she would be like God. But guess what – he lied to her. SHE ALREADY WAS LIKE GOD! That stupid snake told her she was NOT something that she already was!  So, the enemy accused her. Told her she was NOT…when she already was. What does the enemy accuse you of? What is that voice in your head falsely accusing you of?

If you hear – You are NOT pretty – it is a lie.  God says You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

If you hear – You are NOT smart – it is a lie. God says You have the mind of Christ.

If you hear – You are NOT going to be free – it is a lie. Jesus Christ already paid the price for your freedom. You are free!

See what I mean? Don’t believe that voice. It is not true.  That is why it is so important for us to read the Word.  How do we know what is true if we don’t know the Word? How can we tell the enemy to shut up because God says…..if we don’t know what God said.

The Accuser  is no longer in God’s ear whispering. We do not live in Job’s era.  God kicked the Devil out of Heaven.  He doesn’t live there anymore. This is New Testament times. However, now the Devil may be in your ear accusing you. Just because he says something does not mean it is true.  He lied to Eve and I think he is the father of lies.

You are of your father, the devil, and it is your will to practice the lusts and gratify the desires [which are characteristic] of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a falsehood, he speaks what is natural to him, for he is a liar [himself] and the father of lies and of all that is false. (John 8:44 AMP)

 

Cast him down – God already did. Enforce the victory!  Do not let that condemning voice talk anymore – it is your head. Take control of your thoughts. Any thoughts that are not in line with the Word of God YOU have the AUTHORITY and LEGAL RIGHT to take them captive and kick them out!  Yes, there is a battle going on  – but we know who wins!  Take charge of your thoughts! We get to kick out the bad ones!

 

 For though we walk (live) in the flesh, we are not carrying on our warfare according to the flesh and using mere human weapons.

 For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds,

 [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One),

 Being in readiness to punish every [insubordinate for his] disobedience, when your own submission and obedience [as a church] are fully secured and complete. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 AMP)

 

 

And more good news – Jesus is the one who is whispering good things in God’s ear about us!

Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?]
Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?

(Romans 8:33-34 AMP)

 

God wants to lift our heads. I think I’ll let Him – what about you?

To hear the message for yourself click here 😉

I Told Myself This Would Never Happen Again

I told myself this would never happen again. After getting out of the last abusive relationship, I vowed to myself that I would never let someone treat me like that ever again.  And yet, not knowing how sick I was – the next relationship was more abusive than the last.  The stakes were higher, the abuse was deeper, and let’s just say there are a lot of sick folk out there.  I want to share this part of my story today.  I see other women going from man to man, from abuse to abuse, looking for the next Prince Charming.  And it hurts. It hurts to see it.  Because you know the price you paid to get out. And you don’t want to see another woman/girl hurt.

I wasn’t born stupid. Really. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.  I was deceived. I believed all the pretty little lies he said. I wanted a picture perfect marriage. I wanted the white picket fence.  Who doesn’t? I mean it’s not like you know the end from the beginning.  Hey if I knew then what I know now, my answer would have been, “NO way, not in a million years!”

After relationship upon relationship with Abusers I was forced to look in the mirror.  No I did not ask for it. No I did not want it, but lets face it – my ‘people’ radar was broken.  I was trusting people that were not safe. I was putting myself in a position to be hurt – again and again.  And I had to make a new choice. A choice to learn what a healthy relationship looked like, and admit that I wasn’t in one.  That hurt too.  What I thought I had was a lie.  The truth has a way of shining into the darkness and peeling away the lies I kept telling myself. Yeah, all the pretty little lies we tell ourselves – because we are afraid. And fearful. And have no friends, and no money by this point.

Lies I Told Myself While in an Abusive Relationship:

  • It will get better
  • He just had a bad day
  • He just needs a beer
  • I am really a screw-up
  • It’s all my fault
  • I wish I wasn’t so stupid
  • I should have…
  • You are lucky to have him, you could be alone
  • It’s not really that bad
  • Every husband hits his wife, right?
  • Nobody said it would be easy
  • Everybody fights like this
  • Maybe I could just jump off a bridge
  • You can’t get a divorce – God will hate you forever

 

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, get help today.  It really does not need to stay that way. As for me, I couldn’t do it alone.  I didn’t know how.  My first stop was the local YWCA and the Domestic Violence Center Advocate.  She listened as I shared my story. No judgement, no pointing fingers – she listened. And then I met a whole building full of other women who had been through the same thing.  Girl power. I was not alone. And me and the kids could be free. That was like a breath of fresh air right there!

 

 

 

learn the 8
Learn the 8 by BeautyCares

 

Featured Image Source: Tumblr

 

 

 

 

More Lies from the Abuser

Lies piled on lies. I’m not feeling very joyful today. Guess it’s time for a ‘rant.’ I am so tired of the lies. My ex, the abuser in my past, keeps lying. He is not a part of my life, with the exception of the kids we had together. I have full placement and full custody. Yet, he still has visitation rights. Yipee. Now I know he is their father but why won’t he treat them better than he treated me? I really get mad when he lies to them!

Long story short, he thought he would play the ‘hero’ a year or so ago. He bought the kids both iPhones. They already had phones. It cost me $300 to cancel that contract. And he paid their phone bill for about a year. Or come to find out, his new girlfriend did. Yep, he takes kids to Disneyland, buys two new vehicles, gets a new house, new furniture. And here we sit again – no child support and more lies.

Well, girlfriend #1 must have caught on. I tried to warn her. But guess what? Big surprise. He took money from her too. I recently found out that he got a judgement and garnishment for $5000 from the girlfriend. It’s on CCAP. He told the kids he broke up with her. Yeah right.

Then he goes and gets another girlfriend. And she funds his ‘business’ for another 6 months. Until she gets the garnishment from girlfriend #1. Girlfriend #2 pays him with a rubber check. NSF. She probably wised up and stopped payment on the check. Why do I care? I don’t. But now he doesn’t pay the kids phone bills and their phones get turned off. And he has told them everyday that, “I’ll turn them on tomorrow.” Yeah right. It’s been almost 2 weeks now. But you know, he will turn them on tomorrow, as he calls on HIS new phone. Lies. All lies. And he is blaming it on the check. Like the check is alive and it’s all the checks fault.

And I get to pick up the pieces. And I get to go buy new trackphones. With time. I don’t want to commit to another contract and have to do that again. Great. Once again mom gets to fix it. While he sits and blames everyone else and piles up the lies. I am so sick of this I could just puke. Sociopath

Image Source: http://virtualtreasures.hubpages.com/hub/Sociopathic-Tendencies-Pathological-Lying

Web of Lies

Image

Web of Lies

Copyright 2013 Diana Rasmussen
Like a spider weaving a web,
one lie built upon another,
All fashioned into your master plan
To deceive and kill another.
*
Smooth talk till I fold,
And follow you home.
But your venom you spew,
Waiting for the kill.
*
Does it run in your blood
To betray ones you love?
When you violate my home,
It’s personal.

I heard Tom Selleck say the quote above on Blue Bloods.  It was one of those things that hit me right away. Yep, an “aha” moment.  It made me recall all the lies I believed when I was in an unhealthy and abusive relationship.  Denial is a powerful force. For many years I “knew” things were not right; but to admit it in the open meant I would have to make a new choice.  It meant I would have to stop giving my life and my power to someone else.  I had to choose to take my life back. Thank you Lord, for the truth, even though it hurt.

The Savior Within You

Were-going-to-have-to

The Savior Within You

He’s the Savior with you, His Spirit – your guide.

He will open your eyes now, His light you will see.

The bars that you see in the cell of your mind,

don’t exist in the world of God’s Precious Son.

*

Open your eyes to the great mystery,

for He is the one who was, is, and will be.

It’s not about you, this life and death thing;

He made you, He called you, God’s glory to bring.

*

Your choice to make now if you humbly agree,

Is to choose to be silent, and set His life free.

Jesus reversed the curse when He hung on that tree,

so you do not have to date the enemy.

*

Satan’s a liar, a thief in the night,

trying to steal all things from your mind.

Stand firm in the Name of Jesus and live.

Call Satan a liar, and then watch Him flee.

*

Test every thought daily,

throw lies out of your mind.

And choose Jesus life freely,

peace and serenity find.

*

Jesus died to save you,

not to shame or condemn.

Those thoughts come from the Devil,

to throw you off guard.

*

Walk by faith in the Spirit,

and soon you will see,

God restores all,

and His peace never ends.

*

I hear Him knocking at the door to your heart,

His Spirit is calling your name.

Today is the day to begin a new life,

and be free of your pain, past, and the grave.

*

Don’t walk around in His death on a tree,

set your sights on His Life, and claim Victory.

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

Singing

GOD’S PROMISE TO YOU:

“Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’m about to call each conqueror to dinner. I’m spreading a banquet of Tree-of-Life fruit, a supper plucked from God’s orchard…Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. Christ-conquerors are safe from Devil-death.” (Revelation 2:7,11 MSG)
 Jesus told this simple story, but they had no idea what he was talking about. So he tried again. “I’ll be explicit, then. I am the Gate for the sheep. All those others are up to no good—sheep stealers, every one of them. But the sheep didn’t listen to them. I am the Gate. Anyone who goes through me will be cared for—will freely go in and out, and find pasture. A thief is only there to steal and kill and destroy. I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of. (John 10:6-10 MSG)

MY PRAYER FOR YOU:

Dear Lord,
Thank you for your death and Resurrection. You became our sacrifice.  You came to seek and to save what was lost – us.  Thank you for saving us, something we could not do for ourselves.  Today, let us be still and know that You are God, and all is well.  The victory is Yours Lord, and as you said, “It is finished ” Let us rest in that, in Jesus Name.