Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake. I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once – more than one relationship.
The World calls him the Abuser,
the Doctors call him the Narcissist,
and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.
It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.
And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.
Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration. Here is my experience.
12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY
WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.
Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.
Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.
Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.
Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.
Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.
Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.
Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.
Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.
Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.
If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.
Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.
I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.
(Other images from Pinterest)
14 thoughts on “12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy”
Wished mine was so simple. I left put he used witchcraft to frustrate my business and my life to the point I would have become physically I’ll. I had to give up my business and move back in with him. Now I have to sit here jobless until God sends help again.
Lord, send help.
Luved this went through it as well. God had to show the truth it hurt but That is how much God loves us. He doesn’t want anyone to cause us harm. Ended it and now free. My mind is healed and all is well. Thank you again for your story. Take care and may God bless daily and keep his angles around you in these last and final days…
Thank you, grateful you are free too. He who the Son sets free is free indeed!
Know your worth.
Amen, thank you! Diana
Wow this article is a hit on our site. You have had over 230 views within one week. I hope they are clicking and coming to your page to read the 12 steps. A lot of evil going on right now and people have no idea what is around them. Love your site, may God continue to work through you, God Bless.
That is so awesome! Thanks for sharing it my friend, Diana
Thanks for the encouraging words I need that I’m going threw so much in my marriage I want throw tower in and give up but the words you gave me make me fill so much better thanks and God bless
I have been there too sis. God give you peace and strength in this season 🙂
Reblogged this on Prayers and Promises and commented:
This is in honor for my friend going through a rough time. Stand strong my sister – you can do this. You are worth so much more.
Great post and sound advice, indeed.
The things we learn on our journey…thanks for coming over today! Blessings, Diana