Tag: rape

Spring Training #1-Exercising Our Faith-Honor Our Bodies

Spring Training. All the baseball teams gearing up for the game. Getting ready, letting go of what doesn’t work and training for the new season. I am in a period of transition. A period of spring training. I have had to acknowledge a few weaknesses and change my thoughts and attitudes to learn new habits. I am learning to build my strength both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Spring Training is a New Series I am writing to help us all refocus on our positive goals and exercise our faith.

Like the athletes we all have ‘muscles’ that we need to use or they atrophy. Muscles that have been in hibernation during the long cold winter. And our faith is the same way. It only gets exercised when we are using it. That means there will be trials,temptations and troubles we will get to go through – but they bring forth the GOLD of our faith.  Press on my friends, together we can do this!

SPRING TRAINING EXERCISE #1:

Learning to Honor Our Bodies

 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP)

Taking Responsibility for Our Health

One of the hardest areas for me after a life of abuse is learning how to honor my body. When you have had innocence stolen from you and been raped you feel like trash. The enemy plants thoughts in your head that you deserved it and you will never be clean. And then add Abuser after Abuser who commanded you to do unholy things with your body and your relationship. Add those swine who sought out pornography and the evils it opens you up to. For many years I did not address or even talk about these things. I did not own my body. I let another use it and abuse it. I gave away my power and my self-respect to a pig.

I was married before and I wanted to please my husband so I did what he said. He was sick. I should have said no. It took me years to learn to say that word. Then I was in another relationship with a very sick man who was into the bondage scene (yeah, my own shades of grey nightmare). Let me say that just because a person has money does not mean they are healthy. Some of the ‘sickest’ people I matched up with had money and thought I was a piece of property and something they owned. I went from psycho to psycho as I didn’t believe I deserved any better. I had no boundaries and I thought I was trash. I had no idea who God said I was.

Some of the wisest advice I got from Grandma Pat, a beautiful woman who lived down the street from me. She used to come over singing these old hymns and just listen to me cry. I wouldn’t be here today if she had not taken the time to stop and come over and listen. She told me,

“You don’t have to dishonor God to please your husband.”

 

That was the home run for me. I finally got it. I could choose to honor God first. What those men asked me to do and what I did was wrong. God knows what happened. And I had to ask God to forgive me, and then forgive myself for giving authority of my body over to a swine. Yes, I cast my pearls before swine. And they trampled all over them. Because that’s what pigs do.

I ended those relationships. And didn’t date anyone for over a year. I learned how to take care of me and take authority back over my body. I asked God to break all the soul-ties with the blood of Jesus. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into those dark rooms and bring the deep healing I needed. I met with a counselor for a time and learned that the rape was not my fault. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. I did not asked to be abused. It wasn’t that way in the beginning. It happens over time. And it’s wrong. Not every husband/boyfriend honors his wife. I learned the hard way.

When I was on my own I had to learn how to ‘honor my body’ and choose to be well. I didn’t have to stay a victim. God promised to heal me and I chose to let Him. He turned my victim mentality into victorious. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me hope when I was lost.

I had to learn what honor meant too. Words and actions like honor, cherish, love, treasure – they had no meaning to me after years of abuse. But honor meant I could say NO. I could make a new choice as to what I would accept for myself, and what I would reject. I had to learn what a healthy relationship looked like. And I had to learn what respect meant and how to respect myself after receiving disrespect from so many.

 

Ways to Honor Your Body:

 

1.  Accept that God made you perfect and stop the negative self-talk.

This negative self-talk led to destructive self-harm for me. I had to ask God to quiet the voices of the Enemy of my soul. And I had to read the Word and learn who God says I am. I had to give God’s Word more authority over me than my past, my hurts, my feelings, or my pain. I even hand wrote scripture verses on index cards and carried them around with me in my everyday life. This way when I heard a negative thing in my head or from some other person I would read and meditate on a verse of God’s Word. It works, really.  I honor my body when I believe what God says about me more than how I feel or what someone tells me or has told me.

 

2.  Start to eat healthier.

I admit it, I love junk food and pizza. And after being depressed for so long I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of taking things away the Holy Spirit has asked me to start adding healthy things – nuts, fruits, and vegetables to my diet. I don’t keep track, I am not a food Nazi. But I have to say that I feel better after adding these things. It is a process and I am glad He is teaching me how to honor my body this way.

 

3. Stop watching smut TV.

Yep. No more. I refuse to entertain the spirit of lust. I will not even watch mildly graphic shows, no soap operas, no dating shows, no let’s swap wives or Hollywood Housewives or anything. I turn them off. Lust leads to all sorts of bad things. I have seen so many people break up relationships or marriages after the spirit of lust moves in. What comes in through the eyes makes residence in our minds. Thoughts become actions. I have seen people throw away what they have to try something they see happen on tv or a movie. And it’s wrong. I choose to shut that door and not entertain the spirit of lust.  I honor my body by not even going there.

 

4. Start to exercise slowly.

I joined Planet Fitness with my teen daughter about a month ago. The first time I went I could only go 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. And with my past leg injury I didn’t even try the treadmill. Can I tell you after a month I don’t have to wear my leg brace anymore! I can go 20 minutes on the elliptical and have even used the treadmill. All from a girl that heard the Dr. tell me, “I hope this leg surgery works or you won’t walk again.” I honor my body by moving it and exercising it. My mood is better. I feel alive again and there is hope. It’s going to be a good season this year!

 

What about you?

How did you learn to ‘honor your body’?

 

Tune in next time for SPRING TRAINING – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR MONEY

 

(Baseball with Heart image is available at puckettspond.com,

Pearl image from derricklphillips.wordpress.com)

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Soul Ties

Imagine a rope holding you to another. You could be attached to a good friend or an enemy. Soul ties can be healthy, like in a marriage or close friendship, or they can be deadly, like in a victim and abuser relationship.  The relationships that we have and have had in the past create soul ties. Imagine leaving an Abuser and still being tied to them after you leave. And what about the child that was sexually abused. They are tied to the Abuser until all the soul ties are broken.  I cannot emphasize the need to break the unhealthy soul ties in your life.  I found myself returning to the Abuser time and time again until the soul tie was broken. But there is hope. It is possible to break these ties with the help of God. There is freedom available to us. And the Holy Spirit will help us in our weakness.

According to GreatBibleStudy.com:

The Bible speaks of what is today known as soul ties. In the Bible, it doesn’t use the word soul tie, but it speaks of them when it talks about souls being knit together, becoming one flesh, etc. A soul tie can serve many functions, but in it’s simplest form, it ties two souls together in the spiritual realm. Soul ties between married couples draw them together like magnets, while soul ties between fornicators can draw a beaten and abused woman to the man which in the natural realm she would hate and run from, but instead she runs to him even though he doesn’t love her, and treats her like dirt. In the demonic world, unholy soul ties can serve as bridges between two people to pass demonic garbage through.

 

Here are 6 signs of unhealthy soul ties from Paula White.

  1. An ungodly soul tie produces irrational thinking. Irrational means not capable of reasoning, having lost mental clarity, illogical.
  2. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to evaluate themselves and others according to previous context. They can’t see outside of that relationship or mental paradigm.
  3. An ungodly soul tie causes a person to shut down emotionally.
  4. An ungodly soul tie produces an unhealthy, unnatural desire or attraction to people, places and things, even to the person’s detriment.
  5. An ungodly soul tie will cause a lack of judgment and discernment.
  6. An ungodly soul tie produces the inability to establish and maintain proper adult relationships.

 

Dinah in the Bible was raped. She did not ask for it. She did not want it. But it happened. See Genesis 34 for the whole story. Shechem violated her, and it created a soul tie.

Now Dinah daughter of Leah, whom she bore to Jacob, went out [unattended] to see the girls of the place. And when Shechem son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he seized her, lay with her, and humbled, defiled, and disgraced her. But his soul longed for and clung to Dinah daughter of Jacob, and he loved the girl and spoke comfortingly to her young heart’s wishes.And Shechem said to his father Hamor, Get me this girl to be my wife. Jacob heard that [Shechem] had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field. So Jacob held his peace until they came. (Genesis 34:1-5 AMP)

I wonder if mental illness comes from unhealthy soul ties. It sure would make sense. When we open the door to the enemy with ungodly relationships there is more than one demon that comes in. There is sexual sin. And if you have ever ‘heard voices’ in your head, that is most likely the result of spirits tormenting you.  There is hope – there is a Deliverer who can quiet them and kick them out of your head and spirit and body – King Jesus!

Let’s Pray

Lord, you gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit to help us clean house.  Let us acknowledge our sins and admit that we have ‘tied’ ourselves to idols/individuals whom You never intended us to be united to.  Let us confess and repent of all sexual sins – whether intentional or by force. The enemy wanted to destroy us Lord. But God You are greater! Lord – be our door, be our gate. We let the evil out and the good in. We are called and chosen by the King of Kings. What the enemy has tried to steal will be restored 30,60,100 times over.

Holy Spirit, we need your help in bringing the truth to light. We break all unhealthy soul ties from ________(you fill in names) by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. We ask that all covenants and agreements that we entered into from the enemy be broken in Jesus Name. You are our God and there is no other. Cancel all unhealthy and ungodly agreements Lord. Let those words be turned into dust. Let Your Word prevail Lord – in our hearts, our minds, and our spirits. We choose to honor this body that you have come to live in. We belong to you and we will fulfill your plans for us, in Jesus Name.

 

VIDEOS ON SOUL TIES

 

 

(Image credits: www.xmind.net/m/PAyv, endtimeshofar.blogspot.com, jeremyfoster.org)

Love is Messy-deliverance from self-hatred

Love is messy. It’s not for the faint at heart that’s for sure. And it’s not for the fault finders either. We are all still human and how we respond to someone’s mistake or weakness shows others how soft or how hard our heart is. As a parent I am still learning and growing.  I make mistakes. And so do my kids. But I am learning to give them and me the same grace I give others.  It’s so funny, I have bent over backwards helping others, yet I confess, I am not always the best mom. I am not always present in the moment.  I mean, I try, but sometimes I get sidetracked, or take a wrong turn, or just check out.  How about you?

So, this new year I have decided I need to give my family the same love and grace I give to a stranger. I am going to treat myself and my body with a new found love.  No, I am not going new-age on you here. But I have to confess, once a girl is raped and abused – we see ourselves differently. We think we are dirty and trash.  And this spirit of self-loathing sets in. Self-hatred. Destruction. Kill, steal, destroy yourself and your body.  Those thoughts are not from God, and they are not healthy.  They are a lie that the enemy has planted in my soul. And they are not true. It’s time to close this door.

How do you know if you have let this spirit live inside you?  I came across an interesting Bible Study:

THE ANTI-SELF BONDAGES.

Here the Author shares about the anti-self bondages with reference to mental illness and health problems:

 

Henry Wright, who I consider highly knowledgeable and gifted in the area of physical and emotional healing, considers anti-self (self-unforgiveness, self-resentment, self-hate, self-rejection, etc.) issues as one of the major sources of many physical and mental health problems.

Now of course, we’re not saying that Satan and evil spirits don’t run rapid in witchcraft, Satanism, and so forth, but do you know why people get involved in many of those things? Rejection, for example, is one of the main forces that push our youth right into Satanism. Rebellion and insecurity are among the forces that push people into witchcraft (power and manipulation, control, etc.). If you take away the doorways (rejection, insecurity, rebellion, self-hate, unforgiveness, and so forth), then I have to seriously question if Satanism, witchcraft and the ‘heavier’ things would even have a chance!

 

Today I cast off the enemies plans for myself and my body.  I accept God’s plans for me and my family.  All things work together for good, and God says He has thoughts and plans for me, for good and not for evil. And today, I am shutting the door to the enemy! No more self-hatred. No more self-loathing. No more destruction, in Jesus Name.

 

Now I do not know Henry Wright – I haven’t really heard anything about him. But I do know that this makes sense.  So I did a little more digging. In this video he says that 80% of all disease has a common problem – and that is lack of love.  It involves separation – separation from God. Especailly from God as Father.  I know I have not really known God as Father.  Lord, show me more…

I am taking back my life. I confess, and I repent.

Self hatred is a DEAD WORK.

I have come to the knowledge of the Truth.

I have come to my senses.

And I know God will help me.

Are you ready to let go of self-hatred?

Jesus is Lord.

 

Here is a video I found:

 

 

I think I might have to get this book:

Cover via Amazon

Does Rape Open the Door for the Spirit of Lust?

Rape. It’s ugly.  Unwanted sex. Against your will.  Even though you say NO, he does it anyway.  The enemy has come to kill, steal, and destroy.  Surely those who rape others are operating in his Kingdom. It is wrong. And yes, sometimes it seems like they get away with it. But God saw. And I truly believe that God will take vengeance on these killers of the soul. But this post is not about them.  It’s about us – the women who have endured rape – and what it does to you.

I have to admit I was raped when I was 16.  I didn’t want it – it happened.  And I still remember trying to ‘wash myself clean’ in the shower.  It was like someone had taken part of my soul that day and I couldn’t get clean.  I felt dirty. I felt used. I felt ugly.  My vision of what love should look like changed.  I was no longer innocent and pure – not by my choice – but by the willful coercion and stealing of another person.

Did I get help – yes, but not until I was in my 30’s and after my first divorce.  I want to share with you here what I learned.  Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t. It was part of my journey. But now, because of this, I am sensitive to the Spirit of Lust.  I see it operating in others sometimes – and I hate it.  It came from the enemy.  It is unfaithful and a liar. It is not love. So, this is why I am sharing.

Unconsciously after the rape, I was determined to get back at him – only I didn’t know where he was – it was a one night thing. So, every relationship I had after that with a man – whether friend or lover – I was trying to ‘make them pay’ for what the rapist did to me.  I was a flirt.  I would especially try to steal away someone else’s boyfriend just to prove to myself I was better than that other girl.  It was a game – a contest – and I was determined to win. I would let someone fall in love with me and give me an engagement ring – accept it, and the next day throw it at their face.  I was angry. I didn’t believe in love – and I was out for revenge.  I wanted every man after to ‘pay’ for what happened to me. Only I thought I was ok.  But I wasn’t.  I had bad relationship after bad relationship. And I blamed them, all of them, when really I was the one with the problem.  I needed healing. And I was destroying every relationship I could along the way just to prove that love didn’t really exist. I was acting like a hurt little two year old – and I was a tornado in the path of everything good.

I do believe that rape opens the door to the Spirit of Lust. I only started flirting like that after it happened.  Before that I was ok with me. I didn’t have anything to prove to anyone. I didn’t need a man to feel good about myself.  I believed in myself and my abilities.  I had hope. But after – it was different.  I saw myself differently.  I saw men differently. And I didn’t believe in love or myself.  I thought I needed a man to make me a person.  I knew part of me was ‘missing’ and I thought I had to go find it.  I was wrong.

Yes, rape is ugly. You feel like someone ripped your heart out.  You feel like you will never be whole again.  But there is healing. There is hope after rape and after abuse.  I can tell you from experience – no man will fill that hole in your heart – only God can. And He will heal all the broken places – if you let Him.  But that means you have to STOP – stop dating – stop flirting – stop trying to break up good marriages just to make yourself feel better.  I took a year off from seeing anyone after I finally got help.  I needed to learn how to be good to ME without a man.  I needed to receive the help.  And I did it with NO MEN ALLOWED!  I had a female counselor.  I had female friends.  I didn’t pursue conversations or dates or anything with ANY MAN!  It was the best thing I ever did for myself.  And it was the first time since I was 16 that I felt good about myself.

If you have been raped I urge you to get help. Talk to a Christian Counselor today.  Don’t live years upon years with feeling bad about yourself. It was not your fault. You did not ask for it. He was wrong – and God will take care of it, I just had to let Him.  I had to release the Abuser(s) to God and trust that He would take care of it – and get on with my life.  Lust is not Love. Lust takes, lust kills, lust destroys all that is good.  Lust is all about ‘ME’ and ‘my needs’.

Here are some great words about rape, what forgiveness is, and what forgiveness is not from FAMILY LIFE:

What happened to you was a great evil, so forgiveness won’t come easily or in a moment. It will be a journey of many small steps. The alternative to forgiveness is living in fear, escapism, bitterness, and/or depression. When you live like this, evil still controls you. Forgiveness frees you to live a life of love towards God and others. Forgiveness frees you to be a servant.

Often those who have suffered a great evil think that forgiveness means excusing the evil. So before we talk about forgiving your attacker, let’s talk about what forgiveness does not mean:

  • Forgiveness does not mean what happened to you was “okay” or can be excused.
  • Forgiveness does not mean that what happened to you was a small, unimportant thing.
  • Forgiveness does not mean you will forget what happened to you.
  • Forgiveness does not mean you shouldn’t seek to have the rapist punished by the law.

What forgiveness does mean

Forgiveness says to your attacker that what happened was wrong, destructive, cruel, and inexcusable, but you are choosing to not take personal vengeance. Why? Because God says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19). And God has shown mercy to you (Romans 12:1).

Thanks for listening,

Diana

 

(All images from Pinterest)