Letting go of toxic people. People that are out to hurt you. Jealousy, insecurity, fear…all lead to anger. And Ms. D is not playing that game. Here are my thoughts to my “haters”:
I will not let your anger control me. You anger is exactly that – your anger. I am sorry you see me as a threat. I am not against you. I pray for you. I want the best for you – even of you don’t. I will not enter your arena of gossip and bad mouthing. I am not interested.
My lesson, – live and let live. I love you enough to let you be fully responsible for your actions. Gossip kills. Back- biting kills. And every time you gossip to me about someone else – I know you are gossiping about me behind my back.
I am making a new choice. I cannot trust you with my life anymore. You do not value me or my life. You make fun of me and my family while you sit on your pedestal.
I forgive you. But I am not sharing my life with you anymore. You have shamed my children and me. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I reject your inference that I am not right in the heart, and that I am not right with God. You don’t get a say. My relationship with God is my relationship, not yours. And who gave you the right to bad mouth and shame my kids?
You have no idea what my life is like. And the sad part is, I know you don’t really care. Take your self -righteous attitude, your big mouth, your pride and arrogance, and just keep it to yourself. I am not playing. I am not interested. You are not my friend, so stop pretending.
Yes, I have had enough. Forgive my rant. Can we just be real? Friends don’t do that. So stop calling me that.
[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11 AMP)
OK, Valentines day is tomorrow. The Hallmark Holiday that reminds all of us who have been heartbroken that we got lied to. Thanks. So glad we get to celebrate that one!
Anyway, this post is only for those who have a sense of humor, and are not afraid of the truth. If you want to keep your pretty little vision of Valentine’s Day and little red hearts then stop reading here. I can attest that love doesn’t grow on trees.
Some of us have been lied to. Some of us have been betrayed – by people who SAID they loved us. So, this post is raw feelings unleashed. Take what you like and leave the rest.
BE-TRAY (be·trayed, be·tray·ing, be·trays)
* To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one’s country. * To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
* To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one’s better nature.
* To divulge in a breach of confidence: betray a secret.
* To make known unintentionally: Her hollow laugh betrayed her contempt for the idea.
* To reveal against one’s desire or will.
* To lead astray; deceive.
Why did I say all that? To expose the enemy. If it’s one thing I have learned in my journey to wellness, is that you cannot believe everything that a person tells you. I was just looking for love, and commitment, and honesty.They said they loved me. Their actions proved that was a lie. I was so naive…I bought into so many lies. And I paid the price for it. Sleeping with the enemy leaves you empty, hollow, angry, afraid, depressed and suicidal.
Yes, I have been deceived, lied to, betrayed, and abandoned. And I know I am not alone. There are a lot of “pretty people” sitting in the pews on Sunday who are hiding things. Some will talk about it, and share their journey, others will not.
So I guess today, I needed to share what love is NOT. “You are only as sick as your secrets”, is what I heard once – so true. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, here is a song/poem I wrote. I haven’t recorded it – I’m afraid my kids would shoot me!
ITS A GOOD DAY (COUNTRY VERSION)
It’s a good day to shoot my ex,
I have a 12-gage shotgun in the bed of my truck.
I’m tired of waitin’ for my child support check,
I’m gonna pretend he’s a 12 point buck.
He’s paradin’ around town with his new girlfriend,
feedin,her the same lies over again.
He’s spendin’ her money like its goin’ out of style,
Honey, he ain’t paid the old bills yet.
He comes to the kids games – pretends everything is alright,
But I’ve got the red cross-hairs pointed at his face.
(Disclaimer: I do not recommend doing this, I have not, nor do I plan to do this.
“laugh or cry” is my motto!.)
And yes, I have forgiven my ex’s, past boyfriends, and my past “best” friends. But forgiveness doesn’t mean that it was right – what happened was wrong. It lead to me feeling only more worthless, useless, and empty. I had to give God the hate I had towards them or it would have consumed me. I have ‘shaken the dust off of my feet” so to speak on that one.
Live and learn I guess. I survived. Yes, years of therapy, antidepressants, meetings, and lots of prayer. I have to say that only my relationship with Jesus has taught me what love really looks like. And I found His Words in the Bible.
I sure do give God a lot to work with…glad He’s a big God! Thanks for ‘listening”…