Tag: toxic relationship

Letting Go of Toxic People

Letting go of toxic people. People that are out to hurt you. Jealousy, insecurity, fear…all lead to anger.  And Ms. D is not playing that game. Here are my thoughts to my “haters”:

I will not let your anger control me. You anger is exactly that – your anger.  I am sorry you see me as a threat. I am not against you. I pray for you. I want the best for you – even of you don’t.  I will not enter your arena of gossip and bad mouthing. I am not interested.

My  lesson, – live and let live.  I love you enough to let you be fully responsible for your actions.  Gossip kills. Back- biting kills. And every time you gossip to me about someone else  – I know you are gossiping about me behind my back.

I am making a new choice.  I cannot trust you with my life anymore. You do not value me or my life. You make fun of me and my family while you sit on your pedestal.

I forgive you. But I am not sharing my life with you anymore. You have shamed my children and me. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I reject your inference that I am not right in the heart, and that I am not right with God. You don’t get a say. My relationship with God is my relationship, not yours. And who gave you the right to bad mouth and shame my kids?

You have no idea what my life is like. And the sad part is, I know you don’t really care.  Take your self -righteous attitude, your big mouth,  your pride and arrogance, and  just keep it to yourself.  I am not playing. I am not interested. You are not my friend, so stop pretending.

Yes, I have had enough. Forgive my rant. Can we just be real? Friends don’t do that. So stop calling me that.

 

[The] women likewise must be worthy of respect and serious, not gossipers, but temperate and self-controlled, [thoroughly] trustworthy in all things. (1 Timothy 3:11 AMP)

 

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Here is Your Sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

Here is your sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

What is a narcissist you ask? I wish I would have asked – years ago! Wow, that would have saved a lot of heartache.  I was married to one – well ok, two -before I found out what was really going on. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind – seriously.  After all, they said I was crazy. They said I didn’t know anything. They said I couldn’t remember the truth…you know right?

Ok, so 2 divorces later here I am to share with you the “wisdom” I gleaned on the way. I’m sure you have some too – feel free to leave me a comment!

Guess what – we are not crazy!

They are! Hahahahahaha!

 

Seriously – NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a mental condition. And requires psychotherapy. All those years I spent in therapy thinking it was ALL my fault! Honestly, you have to laugh or cry!

According to the Mayo Clinic:

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

  • Believing that you’re better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
  • Taking advantage of others
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
  • Being jealous of others
  • Believing that others are jealous of you
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships
  • Setting unrealistic goals
  • Being easily hurt and rejected
  • Having a fragile self-esteem
  • Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

 

 

More Signs of a Narcissit

1. It’s all about them. You don’t exist – except to listen to them brag about how important they are. They have very over-inflated egos. They are arrogant and prideful. Yes, they really do believe their s#*t does not stink!

2. Your feelings really don’t matter to them. You could talk until you are blue in the face and they still would not understand. And most of the time they really don’t care anyway.

3. They refuse to take responsibility for anything – ever. Even if they are caught red-handed. It is always somebody else’s fault for everything bad that happens to them.

4. They lie – a lot. They really have no sense of what is true and what is false. And their lies get bigger and more grandiose every time they tell the same story.

5.  They really do believe that they are superior and better than you. That’s why they take every opportunity to point out all of your flaws. They will cut you down and humiliate you in public just to make themselves feel better. Abusers are usually narcissistic.

6.  They really are two-faced.  In the beginning they are charming, and flattering. They entice you into their web of lies. And most people who don’t know them fall for it too. But behind closed doors the ‘snake’ comes out.

7.  They are vindictive.  They never forget who hurt them and will not miss an opportunity to retaliate. It might even be years later, yet they still hang onto anger and absolutely refuse to forgive anyone for anything. If you make them look bad ever, you will get clobbered.

8. They are masters at turning the tables. They will take something they are doing, and accuse you of the same thing. For ex. My ex was lying, so he accused me of lying. They will be having an affair, and then turn around and accuse you of having an affair. When they do something it is ok, but if you do it – you are wrong and stupid, and get humiliated.

And now, some perfect narcissist songs!

“I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!”

“ITS ALL ABOUT YOU”