Tag: power and control

Jezebel and Other Spirits at Work

The jezebel spirit is a malicious spirit and usually teams up with the spirits of religion and witchcraft all 3 of which are controlling spirits Jezebel, in my dealings with this spirit, is the gate keeper. Along with her are: man hating spirit, jezebel hates men especially men of God who are prophets and […]

via The Jezebel Spirit — My Dreams and Visions

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Jezebel Abuses Grace

The spirit of Jezebel loves to control others and take advantage of any situation. I have know many people in my life who have displayed this type of personality. You know the type:  their way or the highway, always two faced, constantly a drama queen. They love to be the center of attention and will sacrifice others to get the admiration of who they desire.  Sometimes people call them Narcissists.

Have you ever run into this kind of person?

Jezebels abuse grace. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. There is no grace with a Jezebel. There is no love, no loyalty, no honor.  They will be nice to you in one moment and then turn around and gossip behind your back. You will feel the knife go in as they do it. Then they will walk over like nothing happened.  No wonder God wants us to get rid of this spirit.

God gave her time to repent – she did NOT want to. Lets be real. Jezebels get what they want by manipulation and control. They do not want to change. It is working for them. The like feeling superior and better than – and they will ‘kill’ anyone who gets in their way.  They lie, they cheat, they steal, they slander, they gossip, they set up master plans to destroy – whatever it takes to get their way.

In the Bible Jezebel even killed to get her way. She set up a scheme to get Naboth killed so she could have his vineyard. See 1 Kings 21 for the whole story. There is always a plan with this type of person. They thrive on manipulation.

My point here – there is no grace with Jezebel – unless it’s part of a bigger plan. Beware my friends. There is always more to the story when this spirit is involved.

source: watchmanreports.com

To the church in Thyatira
‘To the angel of the church in Thyatira write:
These are the words of the Son of God, whose eyes are like blazing fire and whose feet are like burnished bronze. I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first.


Nevertheless, I have this against you: you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophet. By her teaching she misleads my servants into sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. I have given her time to repent of her immorality, but she is unwilling. So I will cast her on a bed of suffering, and I will make those who commit adultery with her suffer intensely, unless they repent of her ways. 23 I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds. – Revelation 2: 18- 23 NKJV

 

 

Characteristics of psychopaths | The Tyranny of Psychopaths

“They lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get their way. For them, it is a practical matter.” How I wish someone had taught me these things before I started dating for the first time. Life was always a game with men like this and they would do anything to win. Lesson learned.

No Psychos, No Druggies, No Stooges

Psychopathy causes more social social distress and disruption than all other mental disorders combined.Power elite psychopaths can be charming, charismatic, and intelligent. They are often seen as great leaders. They have powerful personalities with an almost a hypnotic ability to persuade and command people to do what they want. They can be smart, even scary smart—but in a devious, Machiavellian way. They are con artists who present a false image to the world, an image that they know will gain favorable attention.

Their emotional life consists of the gratification of acquiring, consuming, and possessing the best of everything, the thrill of conquest, the frustration of losing a fight, the triumph of defeating enemies, and the glory of egomania.

But above all, they live to conquer and to win. Psychopaths love battles—for them, it is a game. They go from one challenge to the next. They love winning and prizes, recognition and fame. They love privileges and exclusive clubs. They believe they are entitled…

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12 Steps to Keeping Your Sanity When You Are Sleeping With the Enemy

Keeping your sanity – when you are sleeping with the enemy. Let me share a story. I came to the Lord during a time of crisis in my life. Isn’t that how it goes? Anyway, I was charmed by the ‘snake’ just like Eve in the garden. His talk was smooth, he was absolutely charming, but underneath he was a snake.  I lived many years in Domestic Abuse and little did I know that this was the start of a very destructive relationship. And, it has happened to me more than once  – more than one relationship.

The World calls him the Abuser,

the Doctors call him the Narcissist,

and the Church calls him the Jezebel Spirit.  

It’s all about deception, and ultimately power and control.

And you my friend are the target if you fall for his lies.

dont fall for it

 

Recently I got an email from a follower asking for action steps on how to keep your sanity in the middle of the mess. Thank you my friend for the inspiration.  Here is my experience.

 

12 STEPS TO KEEPING YOUR SANITY

WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

 

  1. Accept the fact that you have been deceived. The dream was a nightmare. It was not what you thought, and that’s ok. The truth will set you free.

  2. Ask God to help you and read His Word. Only the Truth will cut through the lies.

  3. Ask God to reveal where you have been lied to. And get ready for tears as God shows you.

  4. Once the Holy Spirit shows you, give yourself permission NOT to confront the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. You don’t have to prove yourself right. God is showing you, not him. And seriously, he doesn’t care – he doesn’t want to.

  5. Start a journal. Write down what happens. Find a scripture verse to hold onto for the situation and write that down too. I had a tendency to forget what happened with living from crisis to crisis. Seeing it down on paper over time made it real for me.

  6. Give yourself permission to NOT change him. It is not your job. And he probably doesn’t even want to change. He thinks he is right – all the time.

  7. Give yourself some space and time. Not everything has to be decided today.

  8. Seek out professional support. I had help from the Pastor, church friends, Counselors, and a few friends.

  9. Start to reestablish your independence – quietly if you are still living in the same house. Start looking for a job, call someone, read a motivational book. Reignite the flame that he has blown out. You can do it.

  10. Ask God to put a barrier between you and the Abuser/Narcissist/Enemy. Every time I saw the Abuser I pictured mirrors all around me. That way anything he said bounced right back to him.

  11. If you are married, ask God for wisdom. God did not create you to be abused. Spiritual abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, or physical abuse are NOT what marriage is. I had to separate with my ex. And he still did not want to change. With his repeated unfaithfulness we eventually divorced. It was messy, yes, but today I live in peace.

  12. Yes, pray for him. Whether he changes or not, it will free you. Forgiveness does not mean what he did was right, but it frees you from the baggage and allows God to deal with him. There is such freedom in letting go of trying to change him. Let go of the strings my friends, God will take it from here.

I found a wonderful image of what this looks like from The Narcissists Wife.

 

Source - http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/
Source – http://www.narcissistswife.com/19-signs-married-to-a-narcissist/

 

(Other images from Pinterest)

Snow White Darkness – NaPoWriMo Day 4

This is a poem that I turned into a song that describes what it is like to live in Domestic Violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men live like this everyday. And also a video that some of my friends did with CSpan about helping those living in abuse. Help us Lord to break the yoke of oppression in their lives and shine Your Light into their darkness, in Jesus Name.

His Castle

SNOW WHITE DARKNESS

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar
like steam on the glass, shame covers her past
the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds
His worst fantasy, her reality
he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things
a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion
He veils perversion, forcing her coercion
her body he takes, while she flies away
unbelievable, she’s invisible
love is the shadow, that darkens her window
she’s crying for help, to escape her hell

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog
hates her behavior, craves one to save her

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

 

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

 Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58:6-9 NKJV)

 

 

This is also the title of my book – SNOW WHITE DARKNESS – Smothered by Control.  It contains my journal entries from when I was living in abuse. Thank you Lord for deliverance for me and my children!

Snow White Darkness Cover

 

And here is the Album – available from GooglePlay. Thank you in advance for your love and support!

Snow White Darkness Cover

“And now for today’s prompt (optional, as always). Love poems are a staple of the poetry scene. It’s pretty hard to be a poet and not write a few – or a dozen – or maybe six books’ worth. But because so many love poems have been written, there are lots of clichés. Fill your poems with robins and hearts and flowers, and you’ll sound more like a greeting card than a bard. So today, I challenge you to write a “loveless” love poem. Don’t use the word love! And avoid the flowers and rainbows. And if you’re not in the mood for love? Well, the flip-side of the love poem – the break-up poem – is another staple of the poet’s repertoire. If that’s more your speed at present, try writing one of those, but again, avoid thunder, rain, and lines beginning with a plaintive “why”? Try to write a poem that expresses the feeling of love or lovelorn-ness without the traditional trappings you associate with the subject matter.”

napofeature2

The Fire Falls Despite the Roots of Jezebel

Jezebel is a spirit. But where does it come from? That’s what I want to know. Why was she so hell bent on destruction? Why is she so against the Prophets of God? She must have got that way somehow. Yes, her Father led her the wrong way. She followed him into witchcraft and sorcery. It was her choice. And she led many astray.

But you know the interesting thing? There was a great man of God, Elijah, who displayed the powers and wonders of our God during her lifetime. God was there. And then it hit me:

Where there is an Elijah – there is a Jezebel.

 

Where there is a huge prophetic movement in a church or community – there will be a Jezebel spirit trying to pull it down. She will do whatever is necessary to divide the community, to push her fake ‘religious’ self and her agenda. And she hates the Spirit of the Living God. She will have those who follow and worship her.

But the good news – Elijah and God win! Elijah called down fire from Heaven and God answered his prayer. Even after the enemies of God poured water on the alter three times.

You cannot quench the fire and Spirit of God!

God is victorious! And the followers of Jezebel died that day. It’s quite an amazing story.  You can read it all at 1 Kings 18. Here is a sample:

 Now therefore, send and gather all Israel to me on Mount Carmel, the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal, and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.” (1 Kings 18:19 NKJV)

elijah-calls-fire-from-heaven

 

 And it came to pass, at the time of the offering of the evening sacrifice, that Elijah the prophet came near and said, “Lord God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, let it be known this day that You are God in Israel and I am Your servant, and that I have done all these things at Your word.  Hear me, O Lord, hear me, that this people may know that You are the Lord God, and that You have turned their hearts back to You again.”

Then the fire of the Lord fell and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood and the stones and the dust, and it licked up the water that was in the trench. Now when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces; and they said, “TheLord, He is God! The Lord, He is God!”

And Elijah said to them, “Seize the prophets of Baal! Do not let one of them escape!” So they seized them; and Elijah brought them down to the Brook Kishon and executed them there. (1 Kings 18: 36-40 NKJV)

 

After Elijah called down the fire of God. God showed Himself strong. And Elijah killed all Jezebel’s followers in one day.  After she heard the news Jezebel was determined to kill Elijah. Elijah had displayed how powerful God was, and how the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah had no power. They all died. Jezebel said she would kill Elijah. But again, God stepped in.

And Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, also how he had executed all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by tomorrow about this time.” And when he saw that,he arose and ran for his life, and went to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there. (1 Kings 19:1-3 NKJV)

Here is an interesting article I found on how Jezebel spirits are ‘born’. I have mixed feelings about it, let me know what you think. It is very hard for me to see Jezebel as a ‘victim’. Yet, there was a doorway open somewhere that let that spirit in.

What do you think?

Babies are born to be normal, loving beings.  This is to examine why anyone, like a Jezebel, would turn evil, or be open to an evil presence, that would dominate their thinking. Scripture says we war not against “flesh,” but against (evil) spirits, and principalities in high places.  We have to remember that Jezebel is a spirit that infects people, who are victims as much as those people they damage by their behavior.”

Read the full article at:

The Roots of Jezebel.

 

Related articles

(Photo Sources: burningfireshutinmybones.wordpress.com)

How to Recognize a Witch that Comes to Church

After doing research on the Jezebel Spirit and how she was a witch, I decided to dig further. I am not an expert in this area. I am a willing vessel of the Lord and share what He shows me. It may be that I am more sensitive to this spirit because I have lived with it. Both of my exs had this spirit. And I have a sister who practices witchcraft and sorcery. I have seen this spirit and know it intimately. I have seen it operate in my home, in the workplace, and in churches. It can operate in a man or a woman. I have seen both.

I am not a fan of witchcraft – black or white. I have seen too many people get deceived by spirits. I search these things out to learn more – from both sides of the fence.

I do find it interesting that both Christians and Witches have this phobia of each other. It’s insane. We all worship something. I am not here to bash what you worship. And I hope you are not here to bash what I worship. Let’s just agree to disagree ok?

 

 Now it happened, when Joram saw Jehu, that he said, “Is it peace, Jehu?”

So he answered, “What peace, as long as the harlotries of your mother Jezebel and her witchcraft are so many?” (2 Kings 9:22 NKJV)

 

Here are my sermon notes from Derek Prince’s YouTube video on Witchcraft – Part 1

 

Anytime that you get domination by one person over another the force behind this is evil and very often it is actually witchcraft.  Sorcery can work through objects, music, etc. But witchcraft is a dominating satanic force, it is the force that dominates, captivates, and controls. And it works by spells, by curses, and personal domination.

It is NEVER the will of God for one person to DOMINATE another. Anytime you get domination of one person over another the force behind it is evil. That is witchcraft. Wives should not dominate husbands; Husbands should not dominate their wives; Parents should not dominate their children. Pastors should not dominate congregations. The Spiritual is one thing, but the soulish man is another.

Heavenly Versus Demonic Wisdom

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:13-18)

 

When anybody tries to get somebody to do what they want them to, they are in the ‘soulish’ and it often enters into the demonic. There is a down-gredation. (Earthy, soulish, demonic). Much prayer is soulish. Prayer is not a way to get God to do what we want Him to do. Prayer is not a way to get other people to do what we want them to do. Soulish prayers do not bring the Spirit of God into it but they bring dark, evil, and oppressive power (earthly ,soulish, demonic).

When a person, in the name of being ‘spiritual’,  becomes soulish in order to assert to exert his own will over another, express his own personality, get his own desires and ambitions fulfilled, get other people doing what they want, (and it’s usually a woman) that person is in danger of coming under the influence of witchcraft. 

 

 

 

 According to Derek Prince there are 2 types of witches.

1. Those that know they are witches. They practice with curses and spells. They intend to be witches. They cultivate it. They deal in Satan’s power.

2.  Those that do not know that they are witches, and other people do not know they are witches. She is more dangerous. She is usually a good church member. But she is bent on controlling others. (we call them Jezebels)

  • Pentecostal Witches – Operate in Pentecostal congregations and try to control the Pastor and the Congregation.
  • Charismatic Witches – Operate in home prayer groups and try to control the prayer group and their husbands as well.

 

EFFECTS OF WITCHCRAFT

  • There is a domination present – Many, many  women unwillingly dominate their husbands and their families. They try to get everybody doing what they think they should be doing, usually with the best of intentions.  In those homes the husband never really takes his place of headship in the family. Though he may be very successful in business, he never develops into the full spiritual person at home due to the pressure in the home that keeps him from developing –  that pressure is witchcraft in the wife.
  • It usually produces rebellion in the children.
  • It causes a home to break up.
  • Witchcraft is the #1 home-breaker in the World.
  • It is the prevalence of witchcraft in the US that causes 1 out of every 2 marriages to end in divorce.
  • Broken homes are in direct proportion to the power of witchcraft in a Nation.
  • Measured by that standard, the United States has more witchcraft at work here than any other Nation on the Earth!

 

But there is hope. There is peace. There is deliverance available. Have your Pastor pray with you and be delivered today from this spirit. Ladies, let your husbands be all who God made them to be. We are not their Holy Spirit. Let go of trying to control your men. God can heal them just like he heals us.

For those seeking deliverance – a word of caution – get a bucket. Often times when you are delivered from this spirit it may come out as a ‘black slime’ as it did in me. Yes, I have been delivered from witchcraft. I know. Repent today, and know peace again. There is hope my friends. Jesus still heals and delivers. And GOD is on the throne, not Jezebel!

 

(Featured Image Source –  http://churchofjezebel.com)

 

RELATED POSTS

  1. JEZEBEL THE WITCH
  2. HOW TO HANDLE CHURCH BULLIES – JEZEBEL AT CHURCH
  3. STOP TOLERATING THE JEZEBEL SPIRIT
  4. THE SPIRIT OF JEZEBEL
  5. EXPOSING THE SPIRIT OF JEZEBEL TO CHRISTIANS IN THE CHURCH
  6. THE JEZEBEL SPIRIT – DISCERNING THE SPIRIT OF CONTROL
  7. KEEPING THE PEACE – MEET AHAB
  8. JEZEBELS ARE ANDROGYNOUS NARCISSISTS

Jezebel the Witch

Jezebel is a witch. Yes, her father was Ethball, king of the Zidonians, and was both the king and priest of Baal worshipers.  Their gods were Baal and Ashtaroth or Astarte. Ahab installed a temple to the Sun-god in Samaria with 450 priests. Jezebel had another sanctuary erected where she fed 400 of them at her table. Cruel and licentious rites were associated with Baal worship. According to BibleHistory.com

 

Baal (ba’al) was an ancient Canaanite and Mesopotamian deity associated with agriculture. He was believed to be the “giver of life” and mankind was dependant upon him for providing what was necessary to sustain the farms, flocks and herds. He was also called the “son of Dagon” (who was in control of the grain), and “Hadad” the storm god who would provide plentiful rains after hearing his voice (thunder).

 

And the most amazing thing I found in my research today. Ahab was a Jew and King of Northern Israel at the time. Yet he denounced his Hebrew faith and “took her to wife, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.” (1Kings 16:31) There is a great history lesson on Jezebel here:

All the Women of the Bible – Jezebel No. 1

 

Ahab turned his back on God for his relationship with Jezebel. He left his faith, and followed her wicked ways. He was ‘bewitched’ and taken hostage by Jezebel. And he ended up doing things he had not done before – all to keep her approval. Yet, she used him. And all like him.

from http://churchofjezebel.com/
from http://churchofjezebel.com/

Jezebel is out for blood. You cannot negotiate with her. She is not interested. She wants to murder you and your children. Seriously. She is out to destroy true worship of Jesus. She is against the Word. She is a witch and will charm her way in to many people’s lives and churches and businesses.  Don’t trust her. She is not who she says she is. She is a witch.

God gave Jezebel time to repent. And God gives those with this spirit time to repent. God gave Ahab time to repent too. It could be weeks, months, or years. We don’t know.

I gave her time to repent, but she has no desire to repent of her immorality [symbolic of idolatry] and refuses to do so.
Take note: I will throw her on a bed [of anguish], and those who commit adultery with her [her paramours] I will bring down to pressing distress and severe affliction, unless they turn away their minds from conduct [such as] hers and repent of their doings. (Rev 2:21-22 AMP)

If you have helped a Jezebel, or submitted to one in your past, I urge you to break the soul-ties with this person and repent. Jezebel uses her bewitching powers of seduction to lure her victims in and create soul ties. She pretends to be your friend. She lures you in. Then she uses witchcraft, divination, and the spirit of seduction to tempt and entice you into doing something they would normally not do. She sends spirits to torment your mind, emotions, and imagination. She wants to control you. I found myself falling into all sorts of old destructive behaviors when influenced by this spirit. And I didn’t know why. Even after the relationship/friendship ended there was a ‘residue’. I awoke the other morning with a vision of a snake coiled around me trying to squeeze me to death. It was a ‘leftover’ from the Jezebel. I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and commanded it to leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my home, and my church. Soul ties are created in many ways. It’s not just sex that opens the door to a soul tie. According to Jonas Clark:

Soul ties can be created by :

  • sexual relationships
  • emotional manipulation
  • shared life experiences
  • personal tragedies
  • loss of a loved one
  • flattery of the prideful
  • consoling another
  • reaching out to the lonely
  • agreeing with Jezebels’ offenses, hurts, wounds, and unforgiveness towards those in authority or leadership
  • financial crisis

Once these soul ties are established, she has won. Jezebels are Narcissistic. They have no concern for you or your feelings. They are out to conquer and win. They lie and they believe their own lies. The justify everything they do. They are never wrong. And they are incapable of forgiveness.

End the relationship. Change your phone number. Do not allow the Jezebel into your life anymore. It is not just her, it is all the demons she caters to that you are letting in as well – into your home, into your peace, into your head. End it.

Tune in later and we will talk about how to break soul-ties.

 

Related articles

Sweetie, It’s Not You, Your Dad is a Narcissist

This blog is a letter to my children. I have been married to 2 Narcissists in my life. The Church calls them Jezebel Spirits. Here is my life lesson. In my opinion a Narcissist does not know what love is. It is always all about them. We are not people – we are possessions. And in his eyes, we are here to bow down and worship him.  (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.)

NARCISSIST

1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental
attributes.

To all the children with a Narcissistic Parent:

You are old enough where we can have this conversation. I am so tired of the way he breaks your heart time and time again. Your tears break my heart. Every empty promise that brings you pain gives me pain too.

Can I share something with you? It’s not you. It’s not about anything you did or didn’t do. Sweetie, your father is a Narcissist.

According to Mythology:

Source:Wikpedia
Source:Wikpedia

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.

He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/3f7/44684866/files/2014/12/img_0922.jpg

 

I am here to let you know that I love you. And I support you. I give you freedom to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes. I will be here to pick up the pieces when he degrades you and belittles you. I know what it feels like because he did it to me first.

 

I love you, and I will shelter you under the shadow of my wings just like God does for all of us. Put up the mirror around your heart and let his harsh words bounce off you as they are not true.  You are beautiful. You matter. You are smart. And I love you,

Mom

 

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

(All images from breakingupwithyournarcissist.com, Pinterest, brainwashingchildren.com, lattuera.com, Wikpedia, quotepixel.com, LaHuera.com)

Journal Entries from a Former Domestic Violence Victim

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I have not posted on this subject yet this month, but today I want to share a few entries from my journal.  Someone you know is most likely affected by Domestic Violence.  Last I heard DV affects 1/3 women and 1/6 men in the United States.  And I am sure these numbers go up in other places.

I have been in many abusive relationships. Not by choice. I didn’t want to live that way. But, thanks to God, I got the help I needed and my kids and I have been free from DV for about 10 years now.  Being as I have had more than one ‘psycho’ in my life, I will change the names and dates so they don’t start harassing me again.  This is one of the reasons I have not always shared. We do open ourselves up for more harassment if the Abuser finds out. But I want you to know the sheer terror and fear a victim lives with every day.  And it does get worse when we leave, trust me.

One of the things the Police, Lawyers, and Advocates taught me early on was to keep a journal of every abusive thing that happens.  We often have to prove in court that the pattern of Abuse has happened over a period of time.  I have also shared these with Guardian-at-litum – the attorny that was appointed for the kids when I was getting divorced.  It helped me receive FULL custody and FULL placement of my kids.  And it reminds me, of the truth.  Denial is powerful. And so is learned helplessness. Thank you Lord, for deliverance from violent and evil men!

For my protection I will name the Abuser “Joe”, but in my journal I used his real name. These are just a few entries…

 

Journal Entries from a Former Domestic Violence Victim

  • ” I can’t believe how nice Joe is being after this fight.  Take a step back Diana. Remember how nice Delilah was to Samson before she handed him over to be killed?  Don’t believe it. It is not true.  The spirit is not dumb.  Don’t go there, not now, it is not the right time.  The proof is in the pudding”

  • “Joe’s anger is not the issue.  He is angry and abusive to any woman.  It is the Spirit of Anger that drives him. And Joe likes it that way.  But God will be your shield and buckler.”

  • “I can’t believe Joe came to church after I left him. And then he sits down right next to me.  God speaks to my spirit, “Let My works speak for themselves.” The Lord will be my Protector and my Defense.  And then Joe tried to touch me. In the spirit I felt him put his hands around my neck as he had done so many times.  I got up and walked away. God is my Defender and Protector – not you Joe.”

  • “Last night was prayer group. I was praying for my kids. While praying  I spoke against the spirit in Joe. It looked like an Octopus with arms everywhere.  I spoke against in Jesus Name and it crawled into  a corner.”

  • “I can’t believe I slept with the Enemy. And then I married him.”

  • “Don’t respond when the Demons rise.  Joe came to pick up the kids for his visit at my work. Comes over and says, ‘I love you D.’ Those are just empty words again.  I don’t respond.  So then he took my daughter J and went and cut her hair – really, really short. Joe knew I would not have approved. He chose to use her as a weapon against me, and she is only 6. That is not love.”

  • “Well, Joe screamed at me in the parking lot at my work – again. My friend Patty came out and asked if there was anything wrong and if I was ok. Joe kept screaming at me.”

  • “Joe came to drop off kids on the side of the building. (It was a grocery store – we always met in public places for drop offs and pick ups for safety reasons. My youngest was only 4 and still in a carseat). Joe pulled next to me and tried to carry my youngest child into my van. I told Joe he was not going in my van.  I buckled my child in and Joe traps me and the kids in my van. He stands in the sliding door and refuses to move.  Joe says his name is still on the van and he wants it back.  I get a picture in my head of an angry dog – yelling and screaming and barking all while it devours its prey. I backed up out of the van, using my body to force him back and away from the kids. Protect the kids Diana. I shut the sliding van door and got in the drivers seart.  I tried to roll up the window but I wasn’t fast enough. Joe held it down.  I started the car and started backing up – terrified.  Joe finally backed off, got in his car and squeeled his tires as he sped away.”

  • “No more Lord – I release Joe to You.  I took off my wedding ring today and put it in the garage. Deliver us Lord.  Joe called me 3 times that night.  I didn’t answer.”

  • “It’s 40 days since I left. I went back to the park and cried a pillar of tears. I wrestled with God and ‘buried’ Joe and our marriage. The Army used to kill Deserters.  It’s over.”

 

Psalm 35:1-9 (AMP)


Contend, O Lord, with those who contend with me; fight against those who fight against me!

Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for my help!

Draw out also the spear and javelin and close up the way of those who pursue and persecute me. Say to me, I am your deliverance!

Let them be put to shame and dishonor who seek and require my life; let them be turned back and confounded who plan my hurt!

Let them be as chaff before the wind, with the Angel of the Lord driving them on!

Let their way be through dark and slippery places, with the Angel of the Lord pursuing and afflicting them.

For without cause they hid for me their net; a pit of destruction without cause they dug for my life.

Let destruction befall [my foe] unawares; let the net he hid for me catch him; let him fall into that very destruction.

Then I shall be joyful in the Lord; I shall rejoice in His deliverance.

 

 

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Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

I Told Myself This Would Never Happen Again

I told myself this would never happen again. After getting out of the last abusive relationship, I vowed to myself that I would never let someone treat me like that ever again.  And yet, not knowing how sick I was – the next relationship was more abusive than the last.  The stakes were higher, the abuse was deeper, and let’s just say there are a lot of sick folk out there.  I want to share this part of my story today.  I see other women going from man to man, from abuse to abuse, looking for the next Prince Charming.  And it hurts. It hurts to see it.  Because you know the price you paid to get out. And you don’t want to see another woman/girl hurt.

I wasn’t born stupid. Really. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.  I was deceived. I believed all the pretty little lies he said. I wanted a picture perfect marriage. I wanted the white picket fence.  Who doesn’t? I mean it’s not like you know the end from the beginning.  Hey if I knew then what I know now, my answer would have been, “NO way, not in a million years!”

After relationship upon relationship with Abusers I was forced to look in the mirror.  No I did not ask for it. No I did not want it, but lets face it – my ‘people’ radar was broken.  I was trusting people that were not safe. I was putting myself in a position to be hurt – again and again.  And I had to make a new choice. A choice to learn what a healthy relationship looked like, and admit that I wasn’t in one.  That hurt too.  What I thought I had was a lie.  The truth has a way of shining into the darkness and peeling away the lies I kept telling myself. Yeah, all the pretty little lies we tell ourselves – because we are afraid. And fearful. And have no friends, and no money by this point.

Lies I Told Myself While in an Abusive Relationship:

  • It will get better
  • He just had a bad day
  • He just needs a beer
  • I am really a screw-up
  • It’s all my fault
  • I wish I wasn’t so stupid
  • I should have…
  • You are lucky to have him, you could be alone
  • It’s not really that bad
  • Every husband hits his wife, right?
  • Nobody said it would be easy
  • Everybody fights like this
  • Maybe I could just jump off a bridge
  • You can’t get a divorce – God will hate you forever

 

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, get help today.  It really does not need to stay that way. As for me, I couldn’t do it alone.  I didn’t know how.  My first stop was the local YWCA and the Domestic Violence Center Advocate.  She listened as I shared my story. No judgement, no pointing fingers – she listened. And then I met a whole building full of other women who had been through the same thing.  Girl power. I was not alone. And me and the kids could be free. That was like a breath of fresh air right there!

 

 

 

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Featured Image Source: Tumblr