Tag: fatherless

16 Inspirational Father’s Day Quotes

What do you think of when you hear the word Father? That word has so many meanings today. Our families really don’t look the same anymore. Let’s face it, many kids are not growing up with their father.

Today 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.2 million — are being raised without a father and almost half 40% live below the poverty line.  (US Census Bureau, Household Relationship and Living Arrangements of Children Under 18 Years, by Age and Sex: 2016)

From Fathers.com:

More Data on the Extent of Fatherlessness

  • An estimated 24.7 million children (33%) live absent their biological father.
    Source: U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey, “Living Arrangements of Children under 18 Years/1 and Marital Status of Parents by Age, Sex, Race, and Hispanic Origin/2 and Selected Characteristics  of the Child for all Children 2010.” Table C3. Internet Release Date November, 2010.
  • Of students in grades 1 through 12, 39 percent (17.7 million) live in homes absent their biological fathers.
    Source: Nord, Christine Winquist, and Jerry West. Fathers’ and Mothers’ Involvement in their Children’s Schools by Family Type and Resident Status. Table 1. (NCES 2001-032). Washington, DC: U.S. Dept of Education, National Center of Education Statistics, 2001.
  • 57.6% of black children, 31.2% of Hispanic children, and 20.7% of white children are living absent their biological fathers.
    Source: Family Structure and Children’s Living Arrangements 2012. Current Population Report. U.S.  Census Bureau July 1, 2012.
  • According to 72.2 % of the U.S. population, fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America.
    Source: National Center for Fathering, Fathering in America Poll, January, 1999.

 

There is an opportunity here. Every kid needs a male figure to look up to, to model, and learn from. We desperately need Spiritual Fathers for these kids.  We need men who will step up and step in to a child’s life to make a difference.  How will our sons learn honor and how to protect? How will our daughters learn how valuable they are?

Thank you Lord for providing for the fatherless kids, thank you Lord for the men who will step up and show our boys how to be men and our girls how to be women. And God please bless those men who do.

father to the fatherless

At that time the followers came to Jesus. They said, “Who is the greatest in the holy nation of heaven?” Jesus took a little child and put him among them. He said, “For sure, I tell you, unless you have a change of heart and become like a little child, you will not get into the holy nation of heaven. Whoever is without pride as this little child is the greatest in the holy nation of heaven. Whoever receives a little child because of Me receives Me. But whoever is the reason for one of these little children who believe in Me to fall into sin, it would be better for him to have a large rock put around his neck and to be thrown into the sea. – Matthew 18:1-6 NLV

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16 Inspirational Father’s Day Quotes 

  1. “A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society.” – Billy Graham
  2. “”The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” – Antoine-François Prévost
  3. “To be a father requires patience, love and giving up the ‘all about me’ attitude.” Catherine Pulsifer
  4. “I encourage all fathers to focus on the intangibles, because those are the gifts that make the difference.” Asha Patrick
  5. “Becoming a good father is not automatic – it takes time and effort. We must be willing to invest in this job – our most important, second to being a husband – as any other career we might pursue.” Dr. John C. Maxwell
  6. “I have repeatedly stated and emphatically declared that the key to the restoration and preservation of a sane and healthy society is the salvaging of the male, especially as a responsible father.” Myles Munroe
  7. “Any man can be a Father it takes someone special to be a Dad.”  – Author Unknown
  8. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain
  9. “By profession I am a soldier and take pride in that fact. But I am prouder – infinitely prouder — to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; the father only builds, never destroys.” – Douglas MacArthur
  10. “It takes a strong man to accept somebody else’s children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.” – Ray Johnson
  11. “I want to congratulate all the men out there who are working diligently to be good fathers whether they are stepfathers, or biological fathers, or just spiritual fathers.” – TD Jakes
  12. “I have repeatedly stated and emphatically declared that the key to the restoration and preservation of a sane and healthy society is the salvaging of the male, especially as a responsible father.” – Myles Munroe
  13. “The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him.” -Psalm 103:13 (NLT)
  14. “When you’re young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he’s just a regular guy who wears a cape.” – Dave Atell
  15. “It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.” – Pope John XXIII
  16. The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise.” – Proverbs 23:24 (NLT)

Father

 

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There Will Finally Be Equality in Heaven

We search for equality here on Earth. We find injustice. You can’t add a program or have Congress try to regulate it. Let’s face it, we humans treat each other awfully. Corporate America gets richer as we “worker bees” struggle more every year. The “American Dream” is a lie as more people end up deeper in debt and lose what they have spent their whole lives trying to keep. How does that song go? “Another year older and deeper in debt .”

It’s not us. It’s the system. It’s broken. It really doesn’t matter what political party you believe in. They are all corrupt in their own way. God knows, God sees. He is close to the broken-hearted. God is the Father to the fatherless and a Savior to the wounded. 

We treat our Veterans and our Elderly like throw away dolls. It’s embarrassing – and wrong. Our widows and our fatherless children are forgotten in our society. Our unborn aborted babies scream out from the ground. Our culture favors gay marriage and legalized pot. What ever happened to Christian values? It’s depressing. No wonder God said to keep your eyes on things above. 

The Good News? It won’t always be this way. Jesus is coming back for His kids. He sees the injustice. He will make the wrong things right. We will all be equal in His Kingdom. There will be no more Corporate America, no more politics,  no more  discrimination, and no more inequality. Hallelujah, praise God!

 There is [now no distinction in regard to salvation] neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you [who believe] are all one in Christ Jesus [no one can claim a spiritual superiority]. And if you belong to Christ [if you are in Him], then you are Abraham’s descendants, and [spiritual] heirs according to [God’s] promise. – Galatians 3:28-29 AMP


He is A Father to the Fatherless

After working at the local High School this past year I was amazed at the number of fatherless children. Kids who didn’t ask to be left – it was thrust upon them by the poor choice of a man. In many cases the Dad had either left, was addicted to drugs or alcohol, was in jail, or had died.

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From the Fatherhoodfactor.com

FATHERLESS STATS

1. 23.6% of US children (17.4 million) lived in father absent homes in 2014.

[US Census Bureau, 2015] Living arrangements of children under 18 years and marital status of parents, by age, sex, race, and hispanic origin and selected characteristics of the child for all children: 2014. Washington, D.C.: U.S. Census Bureau.

2. In 2011, children living in female-headed homes with no spouse present had a poverty rate of 47.6%. This is over four times the rate for children living in married couple families.

[Source: U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (2012). Information on poverty and income statistics: A summary of 2012 current population survey data. Retrieved from: http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/12/PovertyAndIncomeEst/ib.cfm%5D

Mom did her best to provide and protect. But speaking from experience, it’s not the same. We Moms get tired. Our incomes drop significantly. We live in poverty now. We work  multiple jobs at multiple places just to make ends meet. Often the Dad leaves the picture – regardless of what the Court says. Yeah that child support he is supposed to pay – don’t count on it. Most fathers don’t pay. We blame ourselves for being so ”stupid”. We lost our homes, our marriages, and our self respect. Often women are totally responsible from that day forward for everything. Totally not fair – to the kids or the mom.

Some of us get lucky and get remarried. An understanding stepparent can make a positive influence in a child’s life – if they and the kids are open to it. Often we women do learn from our ‘mistakes’ so as not to repeat the same pattern. Life can and does get better with time. But having a blended family may bring its own set of challenges with it.

Regardless, we have a whole generation of children growing up as orphans. They feel unwanted, unworthy, and unloved. They feel it’s their fault that it happened. They think they could have changed it. They often give up on love, on life, and on themselves.

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The effects of fatherlessness upon a child can include:

  • Abandonment issues

  • Loss of self esteem

  • Loss of respect for themselves and others

  • Increased anxiety and depression

  • Acting out including fighting, defiance, and rude behaviors

  • Loss of moral compass

  • Early alcohol or drug abuse

  • Overly promiscuous and early sexual involvement

  • Overly sensitive to rejection

  • Overly dramatic or super withdrawn

  • Possible suicidal tendencies

I have heard many stories from many teens out there. It takes its toll on them. Even though they had nothing to do with it, they may feel it is there fault. It is not. It was the Dad that made the bad choice to abandon his family. In the Army they used to shoot Deserters. Let us as the Family of God ‘adopt’ the fatherless. They need things. Let us show up with our checkbooks along with our prayers. Let us, the Body of Christ, heal the brokenhearted. They need us to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I have found there is only one way to heal the hurt – Jesus. As I have come to know the Lord he has shown me real love – not sex. He has shown me unconditional love. The Lord has continually provided for me and my kids. He has never left me, even when others have. He has been faithful to me when others have not been. He has healed the hurt that was in my heart. He will do it for you too. God promised to adopt us into his family when we admit our sin – our trying to live life without Him, and turn to Him.

My Prayer for the Fatherless Children:wp-myfather.jpg

Dear Lord,

I pray for all of the fatherless children in this world and their moms who are trying to keep it together. Lord, shine a light in their hearts and cover them with your love. Heal their brokenness. Give them supernatural provision. Let them come to know You and how you have adopted them into your family. Let them know they are loved, wanted, respected, and cherished. Give them a new name and a new identity, in Jesus Name.

God’s Word for the Fatherless:

But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God;
may they be happy and joyful.
Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds;
rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.

A father to the fatherless,
a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families,
he leads out the prisoners with singing;
but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. – Psalm 68:3-6 NIV

 

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” – Romans 8:15

 

 

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.” 1John 3:1-2

 

 

The $50,000 Cup of Coffee

Have you ever been hurt in church? I know I am not the only one.  This morning God spoke to me that I need to share some things that have hurt me that have happened in church.  Now I am not doing this to bad mouth people. There are good and well meaning people that go to church every week.  There are good Shepherds.  And then, there are others who are not helpful at all.  I know, we are all people, and hurting people – hurt people.

I have a new category on my page, “Hurt in Church”.  This is a place where I share what happened and how I am seeking healing and forgiveness.  I know I have hurt people, and people have hurt me.  We are all human.  But I pray that I can use these hurts as ministry opportunities – and healing opportunities.  Not only to bring attention to what we are doing to each other, but to release God’s healing in all of our hearts.

In many of my stories I may use the 3rd person. And I will not reveal names or places – just situations.  Names will be changed as well. God knows who they really are – and God will take care of it.  But I know for my own healing I need to let these things out – and release them, instead of hanging onto old hurts.

I know I have been deceived – by Abusers in many arenas in my life.  Maybe that is why I always gravitated towards the Charismatic leaders.  Many are good.  But others like to abuse their power.

 

THE $50,000 CUP OF COFFEE

She was living in the shelter with her two kids.  Lynn had recently left the 1969 broken down trailer she had called home after years of abuse.  She was trying to protect her children and start a new life.  She went to the church every Sunday morning looking for hope – and healing.  She walked away from all of her things – left with the clothes on her back and no money.  Seemed wrong – he was the abuser and he got the house – but she was grateful she was alive and her kids were safe.

At night Lynn worked as a part-time waitress at a local diner.  Mostly senior citizens and families were her customers.  She would make on average $30-$40 a night in tips.  Well, except for the Friday Fish Fry.  Then she might make more. A great Friday was worth $75 or so. That’s where she met him.  His name was Tom .

Tom was a widower.  He would come to the restaurant 3-4 nights a week.  He had his favorite chair at the counter.  Being that Lynn was the newest waitress, she usually worked the counter.  She liked it there.  She could talk and get to know whosoever sat down.  Most nights Tom would come in for the special. He really liked the Swiss Steak on Thursdays.

Tom was a Christian too.  Even though he went to a different church, he and Lynn would talk about what last Sunday’s sermon was on.  His eyes lit up every time Lynn asked him what God was doing in his life.  She knew he was sad and lonely and the restaurant was his only place to have a regular conversation. Tom would sit at that counter for a good 2 hours every time he came in.

And Lynn would pull out her little index cards.  One of the ways she kept her wits about her was to write a verse from the Bible on an index card.  She would keep them in her apron and pull them out every time she started to worry about how she would make it – being on her own with the kids, and living in the shelter. “What’s the verse of the day?” Tom would ask when he sat down at the counter. And Lynn would pull out the index card she had written on that morning. She was desperately looking for hope in a hopeless situation.

Then one night Tom asked her, “Hey, what church do you go to?”  Lynn told him, and asked, “Why do you want to know?”  Tom said, “You have such a freedom when you talk about God. I want to come visit.”  Lynn poured him another cup of coffee.

It was a few weeks later that Tom finally showed up.  He looked ragged and beat down.  But he came.  The next Thursday he came back to the restaurant.  Lynn poured him his usual coffee and ordered his Swiss Steak.  Then he told her.  “Hey Lynn, did your Pastor tell you what I did last week?”  Lynn looked at him sort of puzzled.  “No, He didn’t say anything.”

Tom hesitated, and then took a breath. “Well you see, I recently lost my business and I had to sell a building I owned.  I don’t want to pay the capital gains tax so I chose four churches to split the money with.  I just gave your Pastor a check for $50,000.”

Lynn was speechless. She stood there a moment with the coffeepot frozen in her hand.  Her mind was spinning.  Finally she spoke, “Really Tom, that is absolutely amazing!  What a generous gift.  I can’t believe you did that.  You see our church has been renting space for the last um-teen years, maybe now they can build.  Thank you so much Tom. Here, have some more coffee – on me!”  Lynn bought his dinner that night – just to say thank you.  It was a small gesture, but Tom appreciated it.  Who knows the last time someone bought him dinner?

That Sunday Lynn went back to church.  She expected the Pastor to make an announcement and thank her for bringing Tom to church.  She thought the $50,000 check would finally bring her some acceptance into the ‘inner circle’.  Being that it was an independent church only the Pastor and his chosen men knew the finances.  There were no open books there. Yet the Pastor didn’t say a word.  So she waited, and waited.  And Lynn kept working, making $30-$40 a night.  And bringing Tom coffee when he came to the restaurant.

After about a month Tom came back to Lynn’s church.  It was then the Pastor took him up front and thanked him for his generous contribution.  The applause rang out and we were all grateful.  Such a generous gift. There were promises of getting a new building, promises of supporting missionaries, promises of how they could now help so many people.

Lynn sat in the congregation fuming.  She couldn’t believe it.  She was the one who had poured the coffee – for months.  She was the one who fed this man night after night. And the Pastor was acting like she didn’t even exist.  He never even told her thank you.  He never acknowledged her. He never told her that her pouring coffee and listening to Tom had helped him and his church. The Pastor took all the credit for bringing Tom to church. He said he knew him, and there was no mention of Lynn. The Pastor and the men had their private meetings and Lynn has no idea what they did with all that cash.

Lynn was disappointed.  I mean really. A$50,000 cup of coffee. The Pastor wouldn’t even acknowledge her or say good job. Lynn wasn’t looking for a hand out.  She was working hard to make her own way – without help from anyone.  She didn’t ask for help her with rent, or gas, or food.  Oh occasionally one or two people would give her a $20 bill on Sunday.  Maybe they thought that would do it.

Lynn got a second job, and then a third.  All while she went through the divorce.  And lost everything.  She got help from the Salvation Army and they helped her get into Section 8 housing.  She moved into an apartment with her kids and a blanket and a pillow.  Her and the kids didn’t even have beds.  After a while she had to quit the restaurant. Her second job started at 6 am and she had to have the kids at daycare at 5 am.  Working until 11 pm just wasn’t feasible anymore.

She told Tom on her last night, “Thanks again Tom. You have sure been a blessing to XYZ Church.  I pray that God restores to you everything you have given 30, 60, 100 times over. God bless you my friend.”  She turned in her apron and walked out of the restaurant – and out of XYZ church.

 

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