Category: Boundaries

Not fueling the fire

Are you a water carrier or a fire carrier? Great post on gossip and fault finding and what to do when someone is gossiping or putting you or someone else down.
  

Spring Training #1-Exercising Our Faith-Honor Our Bodies

Spring Training. All the baseball teams gearing up for the game. Getting ready, letting go of what doesn’t work and training for the new season. I am in a period of transition. A period of spring training. I have had to acknowledge a few weaknesses and change my thoughts and attitudes to learn new habits. I am learning to build my strength both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Spring Training is a New Series I am writing to help us all refocus on our positive goals and exercise our faith.

Like the athletes we all have ‘muscles’ that we need to use or they atrophy. Muscles that have been in hibernation during the long cold winter. And our faith is the same way. It only gets exercised when we are using it. That means there will be trials,temptations and troubles we will get to go through – but they bring forth the GOLD of our faith.  Press on my friends, together we can do this!

SPRING TRAINING EXERCISE #1:

Learning to Honor Our Bodies

 Do you not know that your body is the temple (the very sanctuary) of the Holy Spirit Who lives within you, Whom you have received [as a Gift] from God? You are not your own,
You were bought with a price [purchased with a preciousness and paid for, made His own]. So then, honor God and bring glory to Him in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 AMP)

Taking Responsibility for Our Health

One of the hardest areas for me after a life of abuse is learning how to honor my body. When you have had innocence stolen from you and been raped you feel like trash. The enemy plants thoughts in your head that you deserved it and you will never be clean. And then add Abuser after Abuser who commanded you to do unholy things with your body and your relationship. Add those swine who sought out pornography and the evils it opens you up to. For many years I did not address or even talk about these things. I did not own my body. I let another use it and abuse it. I gave away my power and my self-respect to a pig.

I was married before and I wanted to please my husband so I did what he said. He was sick. I should have said no. It took me years to learn to say that word. Then I was in another relationship with a very sick man who was into the bondage scene (yeah, my own shades of grey nightmare). Let me say that just because a person has money does not mean they are healthy. Some of the ‘sickest’ people I matched up with had money and thought I was a piece of property and something they owned. I went from psycho to psycho as I didn’t believe I deserved any better. I had no boundaries and I thought I was trash. I had no idea who God said I was.

Some of the wisest advice I got from Grandma Pat, a beautiful woman who lived down the street from me. She used to come over singing these old hymns and just listen to me cry. I wouldn’t be here today if she had not taken the time to stop and come over and listen. She told me,

“You don’t have to dishonor God to please your husband.”

 

pearls-before-swine

That was the home run for me. I finally got it. I could choose to honor God first. What those men asked me to do and what I did was wrong. God knows what happened. And I had to ask God to forgive me, and then forgive myself for giving authority of my body over to a swine. Yes, I cast my pearls before swine. And they trampled all over them. Because that’s what pigs do.

I ended those relationships. And didn’t date anyone for over a year. I learned how to take care of me and take authority back over my body. I asked God to break all the soul-ties with the blood of Jesus. I asked the Holy Spirit to come into those dark rooms and bring the deep healing I needed. I met with a counselor for a time and learned that the rape was not my fault. I did not ask for it. I did not want it. I did not asked to be abused. It wasn’t that way in the beginning. It happens over time. And it’s wrong. Not every husband/boyfriend honors his wife. I learned the hard way.

When I was on my own I had to learn how to ‘honor my body’ and choose to be well. I didn’t have to stay a victim. God promised to heal me and I chose to let Him. He turned my victim mentality into victorious. He gave me strength when I had none. He gave me hope when I was lost.

I had to learn what honor meant too. Words and actions like honor, cherish, love, treasure – they had no meaning to me after years of abuse. But honor meant I could say NO. I could make a new choice as to what I would accept for myself, and what I would reject. I had to learn what a healthy relationship looked like. And I had to learn what respect meant and how to respect myself after receiving disrespect from so many.

 

Ways to Honor Your Body:

 

1.  Accept that God made you perfect and stop the negative self-talk.

This negative self-talk led to destructive self-harm for me. I had to ask God to quiet the voices of the Enemy of my soul. And I had to read the Word and learn who God says I am. I had to give God’s Word more authority over me than my past, my hurts, my feelings, or my pain. I even hand wrote scripture verses on index cards and carried them around with me in my everyday life. This way when I heard a negative thing in my head or from some other person I would read and meditate on a verse of God’s Word. It works, really.  I honor my body when I believe what God says about me more than how I feel or what someone tells me or has told me.

 

2.  Start to eat healthier.

I admit it, I love junk food and pizza. And after being depressed for so long I ate what I wanted when I wanted it. Instead of taking things away the Holy Spirit has asked me to start adding healthy things – nuts, fruits, and vegetables to my diet. I don’t keep track, I am not a food Nazi. But I have to say that I feel better after adding these things. It is a process and I am glad He is teaching me how to honor my body this way.

 

3. Stop watching smut TV.

Yep. No more. I refuse to entertain the spirit of lust. I will not even watch mildly graphic shows, no soap operas, no dating shows, no let’s swap wives or Hollywood Housewives or anything. I turn them off. Lust leads to all sorts of bad things. I have seen so many people break up relationships or marriages after the spirit of lust moves in. What comes in through the eyes makes residence in our minds. Thoughts become actions. I have seen people throw away what they have to try something they see happen on tv or a movie. And it’s wrong. I choose to shut that door and not entertain the spirit of lust.  I honor my body by not even going there.

 

4. Start to exercise slowly.

I joined Planet Fitness with my teen daughter about a month ago. The first time I went I could only go 5 minutes on the elliptical machine. And with my past leg injury I didn’t even try the treadmill. Can I tell you after a month I don’t have to wear my leg brace anymore! I can go 20 minutes on the elliptical and have even used the treadmill. All from a girl that heard the Dr. tell me, “I hope this leg surgery works or you won’t walk again.” I honor my body by moving it and exercising it. My mood is better. I feel alive again and there is hope. It’s going to be a good season this year!

 

What about you?

How did you learn to ‘honor your body’?

 

Tune in next time for SPRING TRAINING – TAKING RESPONSIBILITY OF OUR MONEY

 

(Baseball with Heart image is available at puckettspond.com,

Pearl image from derricklphillips.wordpress.com)

Jezebel the Witch

Jezebel is a witch. Yes, her father was Ethball, king of the Zidonians, and was both the king and priest of Baal worshipers.  Their gods were Baal and Ashtaroth or Astarte. Ahab installed a temple to the Sun-god in Samaria with 450 priests. Jezebel had another sanctuary erected where she fed 400 of them at her table. Cruel and licentious rites were associated with Baal worship. According to BibleHistory.com

 

Baal (ba’al) was an ancient Canaanite and Mesopotamian deity associated with agriculture. He was believed to be the “giver of life” and mankind was dependant upon him for providing what was necessary to sustain the farms, flocks and herds. He was also called the “son of Dagon” (who was in control of the grain), and “Hadad” the storm god who would provide plentiful rains after hearing his voice (thunder).

 

And the most amazing thing I found in my research today. Ahab was a Jew and King of Northern Israel at the time. Yet he denounced his Hebrew faith and “took her to wife, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.” (1Kings 16:31) There is a great history lesson on Jezebel here:

All the Women of the Bible – Jezebel No. 1

 

Ahab turned his back on God for his relationship with Jezebel. He left his faith, and followed her wicked ways. He was ‘bewitched’ and taken hostage by Jezebel. And he ended up doing things he had not done before – all to keep her approval. Yet, she used him. And all like him.

from http://churchofjezebel.com/
from http://churchofjezebel.com/

Jezebel is out for blood. You cannot negotiate with her. She is not interested. She wants to murder you and your children. Seriously. She is out to destroy true worship of Jesus. She is against the Word. She is a witch and will charm her way in to many people’s lives and churches and businesses.  Don’t trust her. She is not who she says she is. She is a witch.

God gave Jezebel time to repent. And God gives those with this spirit time to repent. God gave Ahab time to repent too. It could be weeks, months, or years. We don’t know.

I gave her time to repent, but she has no desire to repent of her immorality [symbolic of idolatry] and refuses to do so.
Take note: I will throw her on a bed [of anguish], and those who commit adultery with her [her paramours] I will bring down to pressing distress and severe affliction, unless they turn away their minds from conduct [such as] hers and repent of their doings. (Rev 2:21-22 AMP)

If you have helped a Jezebel, or submitted to one in your past, I urge you to break the soul-ties with this person and repent. Jezebel uses her bewitching powers of seduction to lure her victims in and create soul ties. She pretends to be your friend. She lures you in. Then she uses witchcraft, divination, and the spirit of seduction to tempt and entice you into doing something they would normally not do. She sends spirits to torment your mind, emotions, and imagination. She wants to control you. I found myself falling into all sorts of old destructive behaviors when influenced by this spirit. And I didn’t know why. Even after the relationship/friendship ended there was a ‘residue’. I awoke the other morning with a vision of a snake coiled around me trying to squeeze me to death. It was a ‘leftover’ from the Jezebel. I rebuked it in the name of Jesus and commanded it to leave me, my family, my finances, my health, my home, and my church. Soul ties are created in many ways. It’s not just sex that opens the door to a soul tie. According to Jonas Clark:

Soul ties can be created by :

  • sexual relationships
  • emotional manipulation
  • shared life experiences
  • personal tragedies
  • loss of a loved one
  • flattery of the prideful
  • consoling another
  • reaching out to the lonely
  • agreeing with Jezebels’ offenses, hurts, wounds, and unforgiveness towards those in authority or leadership
  • financial crisis

Once these soul ties are established, she has won. Jezebels are Narcissistic. They have no concern for you or your feelings. They are out to conquer and win. They lie and they believe their own lies. The justify everything they do. They are never wrong. And they are incapable of forgiveness.

End the relationship. Change your phone number. Do not allow the Jezebel into your life anymore. It is not just her, it is all the demons she caters to that you are letting in as well – into your home, into your peace, into your head. End it.

Tune in later and we will talk about how to break soul-ties.

 

Related articles

Sweetie, It’s Not You, Your Dad is a Narcissist

This blog is a letter to my children. I have been married to 2 Narcissists in my life. The Church calls them Jezebel Spirits. Here is my life lesson. In my opinion a Narcissist does not know what love is. It is always all about them. We are not people – we are possessions. And in his eyes, we are here to bow down and worship him.  (sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.)

NARCISSIST

1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish.
2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental
attributes.

To all the children with a Narcissistic Parent:

You are old enough where we can have this conversation. I am so tired of the way he breaks your heart time and time again. Your tears break my heart. Every empty promise that brings you pain gives me pain too.

Can I share something with you? It’s not you. It’s not about anything you did or didn’t do. Sweetie, your father is a Narcissist.

According to Mythology:

Source:Wikpedia
Source:Wikpedia

In Greek mythology, Narcissus (/nɑrˈsɪsəs/; Greek: Νάρκισσος, Narkissos) was a hunter from the territory of Thespiae in Boeotia who was renowned for his beauty. He was the son of a river god named Cephissus and a nymph named Liriope.

He was exceptionally proud, in that he disdained those who loved him. Nemesis noticed this behavior and attracted Narcissus to a pool, where he saw his own reflection in the water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely an image. Unable to leave the beauty of his reflection, Narcissus drowned. Narcissus is the origin of the term narcissism, a fixation with oneself.
2014/12/img_0922.jpg

 

I am here to let you know that I love you. And I support you. I give you freedom to make your own choices and learn from your mistakes. I will be here to pick up the pieces when he degrades you and belittles you. I know what it feels like because he did it to me first.

 

I love you, and I will shelter you under the shadow of my wings just like God does for all of us. Put up the mirror around your heart and let his harsh words bounce off you as they are not true.  You are beautiful. You matter. You are smart. And I love you,

Mom

 

(Click on pictures to enlarge)

 

(All images from breakingupwithyournarcissist.com, Pinterest, brainwashingchildren.com, lattuera.com, Wikpedia, quotepixel.com, LaHuera.com)

Doors and Tokens

Today I would like to share my experience with doors and tokens.  This is a true story of how I learned to protect myself, my family and my home from the enemy. Thank you Lord

Doors open from both sides.

One side is good and one side is bad.

And unfortunately when we open the doors of our homes to others, they bring things with them – both good and bad.

Recently I believed a liar. Yes, I fell for it.  There was a girl I knew that lied to me. She said she had been raped.  Being a former teacher I took this very seriously. And of course, because I had been raped as a teenager it was an open doorway for the enemy to enter.

Now I thought this door was shut.

But when this girl knocked on the closed door – I was the one who opened it.

And I let her in.

She lived with us for a while. We fed her, I played taxi driver, and I took her to all her appointments. I did her laundry. She is definitely a Jezebel Spirit. I am learning more and more about that. And then the truth was revealed.

She had used the ‘rape’ story to go from house to house for years.  I caught her in lie after lie and finally told her to move out. She was very promiscuous and tried flirting with my husband, my son, and all the men at our church. I helped her get an apartment and food and helped her enroll in college.  Despite the enemy, I did and still do want her to be delivered from the demons that are inside her.  She seems devoted to destruction.

When she left there were still some of her things in the room we let her use.  I removed them and returned them to her.  While I was cleaning this room I felt something jump off the curtains and onto my back. Yes, a bad spirit.  I rebuked it in Jesus Name, and anointed the room with oil.  God uses oil all the time for His Spirit.

Anyway I also closed the bank account that we had for her and gave her the money.  But she still kept calling.  I didn’t answer and I unfriended her on FaceBook. Can I tell you that since I started helping her our finances took a nose dive? And I had thing after thing break – lawnmower, coffee pot, outlets, lights, dryer, cell phones, grill, flat tires, etc.  It was like a tornado went through our house. My daughter was in a car accident. My son had a really bad bout with depression. My old ways of self-harm surfaced, and my husband took a bad trip. Very strange things happened. We were not our normal fun selves.  All of us were affected by the spirits she brought into our home.

Then when I dropped off the last piece of stuff I had of hers at her new place she gave me this card that said “I love you”. The next week things went haywire here. It was then that God said to get rid of that card – there were bad spirits attached to it and they were infiltrating.  I threw it out on the highway and cursed any and all demons that came to me and my home and family because of it.

It was a token and the enemy was using it as a doorway.

My Pastor gave me some Queen Esther oil. I anointed every doorway and window in our home pleading the Blood of Jesus for protection. God promised the enemy would pass over us if we are under the blood of Jesus.

She is still knocking at the door. But today I am not opening it. I do not pick her up for church anymore. I do not entertain the spirit of the enemy. I will not coddle it, feed it, or enable it to hurt me or my family.  I cast it out in Jesus Name. No more valley of trouble for our family.

Would you believe that since I got rid of the tokens and kicked her out the door has shut. I opened it so I had to shut it. Our finances are back on track. Our business is doing great. My music is taking off. And all is well. Thank you Lord, for protection, and wisdom, and Truth!

 

7 Lessons Learned from Doors and Tokens:Jesus is the Door

1.  Get rid of all tokens no matter what they are. Curse them, burn them, and send them back to the pit where they came from in Jesus Name.
2.  Don’t invite the enemy in. Jesus is the Savior, not me.  I can’t change someone, He can. Not everyone wants to change. Some people are perfectly content spreading chaos and confusion everywhere they go. Some people are devoted to destruction. Don’t let them in.
3. Be wise – test the spirits.  Often a wounded person will carry with them the spirits of division, destruction, and desolation.  When you invite them in you also let those things in.
4.  Evaluate relationships and be cautious.  Be careful who you share your personal life with. Not everyone is looking out for your best interests. Not everyone wants to see you succeed. Many want to kick you when you are down and laugh at you due to their own insecurities.
5. Just ‘going to church’ does not mean that a person is under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  The enemy goes to church all the time. That’s where the battle is. Even the demons know the Word.
6. God is greater and He will restore all things. Nobody can take us from His hand. His arm is mighty to save.
7.  Clean house today.  Close the door to the enemy, and don’t answer if he knocks.  That’s why Jesus says He is the door. Let Him guide us as to who can come in and who needs to stay out. And let go of the garbage!

GOD’S WORD

Joshua 7 Amplified Bible (AMP)

7 But the Israelites committed a trespass in regard to the devoted things; for Achan son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, took some of the things devoted [for destruction]. And the anger of the Lord burned against Israel.
2 Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai, which is near Beth-aven, east of Bethel, and said to them, Go up and spy out the land. So the men went up and spied out Ai.
3 And they returned to Joshua and said to him, Let not all the men go up; but let about two thousand or three thousand go up and attack Ai; do not make the whole army toil up there, for they of Ai are few.
4 So about three thousand Israelites went up there, but they fled before the men of Ai.
5 And the men of Ai killed about thirty-six of them, for they chased them from before the gate as far as Shebarim, and slew them at the descent. And the hearts of the people melted and became as water.
6 Then Joshua rent his clothes and lay on the earth upon his face before the ark of the Lord until evening, he and the elders of Israel; and they put dust on their heads.
7 Joshua said, Alas, O Lord God, why have You brought this people over the Jordan at all only to give us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us? Would that we had been content to dwell beyond the Jordan!
8 O Lord, what can I say, now that Israel has turned to flee before their enemies!
9 For the Canaanites and all the inhabitants of the land will hear of it and will surround us and cut off our name from the earth. And what will You do for Your great name?
10 The Lord said to Joshua, Get up! Why do you lie thus upon your face?
11 Israel has sinned; they have transgressed My covenant which I commanded them. They have taken some of the things devoted [for destruction]; they have stolen, and lied, and put them among their own baggage.
12 That is why the Israelites could not stand before their enemies, but fled before them; they are accursed and have become devoted [for destruction]. I will cease to be with you unless you destroy the accursed [devoted] things among you.
13 Up, sanctify (set apart for a holy purpose) the people, and say, Sanctify yourselves for tomorrow; for thus says the Lord, the God of Israel: There are accursed things in the midst of you, O Israel. You can not stand before your enemies until you take away from among you the things devoted [to destruction].
14 In the morning therefore, you shall present your tribes. And the tribe which the Lord takes shall come by families; and the family which the Lord takes shall come by households; and the household which the Lord takes shall come by persons.
15 And he who is taken with the devoted things shall be [killed and his body] burned with fire, he and all he has, because he has transgressed the covenant of the Lord and because he has done a shameful and wicked thing in Israel.
16 So Joshua rose up early in the morning and brought Israel near by their tribes, and the tribe of Judah was taken.
17 He brought near the family of Judah, and the family of the Zerahites was taken; and he brought near the family of the Zerahites man by man, and Zabdi was taken.
18 He brought near his household man by man, and Achan son of Carmi, the son of Zabdi, the son of Zerah, of the tribe of Judah, was taken.
19 And Joshua said to Achan, My son, give glory to the Lord, the God of Israel, and make confession to Him. And tell me now what you have done; do not hide it from me.
20 And Achan answered Joshua, In truth, I have sinned against the Lord, the God of Israel, and this have I done:
21 When I saw among the spoils an attractive mantle from Shinar and two hundred shekels of silver and a bar of gold weighing fifty shekels, I coveted them and took them. Behold, they are hidden in the earth inside my tent, with the silver underneath.
22 So Joshua sent messengers, who ran to the tent, and behold, the spoil was hidden in his tent, with the silver underneath.
23 And they took them from the tent and brought them to Joshua and all the Israelites and laid them out before the Lord.
24 And Joshua and all Israel with him took Achan son of Zerah, and the silver, the garment, the wedge of gold, his sons, his daughters, his oxen, his donkeys, his sheep, his tent, and all that he had; and they brought them to the Valley of Achor.
25 And Joshua said, Why have you brought trouble on us? The Lord will trouble you this day. And all Israel stoned him and those with him with stones, and afterward burned their bodies with fire.
26 And they raised over him a great heap of stones that remains to this day. Then the Lord turned from the fierceness of His anger. Therefore the name of that place has been called the Valley of Achor or Troubling to this day.

 

source: wallpaper4God.com
source: wallpaper4God.com

 

 

Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

God Makes No Logical Sense – 7 Kingdom Rules that Defy Logic

 

God really does not make any logical sense.

1+1 does not equal 2 in the Kingdom of God.

This whole Kingdom thing, the invisible becomes visible.

The real is not real.

The dead live.

Life is everlasting. We don’t die – we just fall asleep till Jesus comes back.

Jesus resurrected from the dead. He brings life.

Wow, you either believe or you don’t . But don’t expect it to  to make any sense logically. Seriously. It will not make sense in your head. That’s why they call it faith. You can’t prove it. but you can see it – like the wind. You can see what it does and where it goes by the way things move. It just is. Either you believe it or you don’t.

kingdom of God

7 KINGDOM RULES THAT DEFY LOGIC:

 

1.  Division means multiplication.

Remember the bread and the loaves? Divide it, break it,  and it multiplies. Yeah. I think my math teacher was wrong! And hey, I guess I should have skipped that Calculus class, lol!

Jesus Feeds the Four Thousand

2.  Subtracting means addition.

Remember Gideon and 20,000 to 10,000 to 300 with empty jars and trumpets? Here is a refresher. I had to read it again too. I just remembered God made absolutely no logical sense in this story, and I loved it!

Gideon Defeats the Midianites

3. Praise brings Victory – not killing each other.

Remember Jericho? Walk around a wall for 6 days and give a mighty shout. And on the 7th day – God brought down the walls! And the enemy was defeated with a shout! That makes no sense, but I love it!

Joshua 6

 

4.  The swords we use are not made of metal – but are the Word of God.

Kingdoms are thrown down – by the Word. Princes, Principalities, Powers  are defeated – by the Word.

The Armor of God

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,  and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.  Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,  for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. (Ephesians 6:10-20 NIV)

5.  Jesus brings life, and life more abundantly – not money, fame, fortune, or relatives.

Yeah. Life in the world is at war with life in the Spirit. That’s just how it is. Want money, fame, fortune? Welcome to the world. Want eternal life? Then deny yourself, take up your cross, and as He said, “Follow me.” Life isn’t measured the same in the Kingdom of God.

6.  The Blood of Jesus brings life – not death.

In the world of logic, when someone bleeds to death they die. The life is in the blood. In Jesus case – his blood brings life, and life more abundantly! His blood protects us. His blood heals us.  In the horror movies blood brings death. But in the Kingdom of God, Jesus blood brings LIFE! Forget not all his benefits:

Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed. (Psalm 103:1-6 NIV)

7.  God SPEAKS things into existence.  And so can we.

God said, ” Let there be light. And there was light.” Out of the mouth flows the abundance of the heart.  The power of life and death is in the tongue. What are you talking about today?  How sick you are? How bad you feel? How broke you are? Change your words. I had to start saying what God said. My mouth had to get into agreement with what God said, not what I felt. I am blessed. I have more than enough. My cup runs over. I am the head and not the tail. I will lend to many nations. I am loved. I am chosen. I am wanted. Out of all the people on Earth GOD chose us to be His! And then things changed.

The Kingdom

 

 

 

Not my Circus, Not My Monkeys

Not my circus, not my monkeys. What do I mean by that? I don’t have to play. I don’t have to answer. I don’t have to pay the admission to join another person’s craziness.  I am not the Savior. It is not my job to fix them. Now that is freedom!

If you are living in the crazy room, I invite you to take a step back. I had to reclaim responsibility for my life and my choices. I gave my power away to the enemy of my soul for too long. No more. God gave it to me – not him! I had to “own” my life. I had to come to the realization that living in abuse was harmful – for me and my children. And I had to ask for help. The local DV shelter was my haven – and I finally got 30 days of rest.

I can’t tell you how peaceful it was – even living with 10-12 other moms and their kids. I finally had room to breathe. I finally had space to just be. And I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody. I got to choose my future. Go back for more of the same, or trust God and move forward without the Abuser. Thank you Lord for helping me get out of that circus!

Feeling trapped? Call for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Your story isn’t over yet!

“Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.”― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Never let a man put his hands on you without your permission.”― Melda Beaty, Lime

“Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he’s got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen – the queen of the home she makes for their children.” ― S.M. Stirling, Dies the Fire

Domestic Violence and the Workplace

She may be sitting next to you, or in the cubicle down the hall. The quiet girl who came in late today. Tear stains ran down her creek, and she was wearing sun glasses.  Last time that happened it was because she had a black eye.  Do you approach her? What do you say? Do you just look away and mind your own business? With current statistics 1/4 women and 1/6 men are living in domestic violence. And they are trying to hold down a job to the best of their ability. It is a situation that we must approach. We can no longer afford to just ignore her. It is time for our Employers to offer assistance when someone is being stalked. It IS happening at work too!

I know for me, that was one of my ex’s favorite things to do – call me 20 times in an hour to harass me. Or suddenly stop in and make a big scene in front of my coworkers. It was so embarrassing.  I have even quit jobs just to get away from him.  My boss knew what was happening – yet did nothing.

As employers we have EAP programs (Employee Assistance Programs)  to help with drug addictions, alcohol addictions, counseling, health issues, aging parents, maternity leaves, medical leaves, etc. but my question is – where is everyone when a woman is getting stalked at work? Nobody wants to talk to her or help her escape. Nobody wants to help her form an escape plan and look for housing for her and her children.  For me, I just got reprimanded for being late, missing work, etc. Perhaps your experience was different.

Today I challenge all the companies and corporations out there. Stop ignoring the abused worker in your workplace. Let’s stop the silence. The stress they are living under is unbearable. It is affecting them and their work. They need this job, and they need some support. Help them escape instead.

Here are some alarming statistics from Employers Against Domestic Violence:

Domestic violence affects productivity and increases absenteeism:

24% of women between the ages of 18 and 65 have experienced domestic violence (EDK Associates, The Many Faces of Domestic Violence and its Impact on the Workplace, 1997).

74% of employed battered women were harassed by their partner while at work. This caused 56% of them to be late for work at least five times a month, 28% to leave early at least five days a month, and 54% to miss at least three full days of work a month.

The total health care costs of family violence are estimated in the hundreds of millions each year, much of which is paid for by the employer. 44% of executives surveyed say that that domestic violence increases their health care costs (Pennsylvania Blue Shield Institute, Social Problems and Rising Health Care Costs in Pennsylvania, pp. 3-5, 1992).

47% of senior executives polled said that domestic violence has a harmful effect on the company’s productivity (Roper Starch Worldwide Study for Liz Claiborne, Inc., 1994).

71% of EAP providers surveyed have dealt with an employee being stalked at work by a current of former partner, and 83% have assisted an employee with a restraining order.

78% of Human Resources professionals polled by Personnel Journal said that domestic violence is a workplace issue (April, 1995, page 65).

94% of Corporate Security Directors surveyed rank domestic violence as a high security problem at their company. National Safe Workplace Institute survey, as cited in “Talking Frankly About Domestic Violence,” Personnel Journal, April, 1995, page 64).

DV advocacy

 

(All images from Pinterest)

Here is Your Sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

Here is your sign – No Narcissists Allowed!

What is a narcissist you ask? I wish I would have asked – years ago! Wow, that would have saved a lot of heartache.  I was married to one – well ok, two -before I found out what was really going on. I thought I was crazy. I thought I was losing my mind – seriously.  After all, they said I was crazy. They said I didn’t know anything. They said I couldn’t remember the truth…you know right?

Ok, so 2 divorces later here I am to share with you the “wisdom” I gleaned on the way. I’m sure you have some too – feel free to leave me a comment!

Guess what – we are not crazy!

They are! Hahahahahaha!

 

Seriously – NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is a mental condition. And requires psychotherapy. All those years I spent in therapy thinking it was ALL my fault! Honestly, you have to laugh or cry!

According to the Mayo Clinic:

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

  • Believing that you’re better than others
  • Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration
  • Believing that you’re special and acting accordingly
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
  • Taking advantage of others
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
  • Being jealous of others
  • Believing that others are jealous of you
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships
  • Setting unrealistic goals
  • Being easily hurt and rejected
  • Having a fragile self-esteem
  • Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

 

 

More Signs of a Narcissit

1. It’s all about them. You don’t exist – except to listen to them brag about how important they are. They have very over-inflated egos. They are arrogant and prideful. Yes, they really do believe their s#*t does not stink!

2. Your feelings really don’t matter to them. You could talk until you are blue in the face and they still would not understand. And most of the time they really don’t care anyway.

3. They refuse to take responsibility for anything – ever. Even if they are caught red-handed. It is always somebody else’s fault for everything bad that happens to them.

4. They lie – a lot. They really have no sense of what is true and what is false. And their lies get bigger and more grandiose every time they tell the same story.

5.  They really do believe that they are superior and better than you. That’s why they take every opportunity to point out all of your flaws. They will cut you down and humiliate you in public just to make themselves feel better. Abusers are usually narcissistic.

6.  They really are two-faced.  In the beginning they are charming, and flattering. They entice you into their web of lies. And most people who don’t know them fall for it too. But behind closed doors the ‘snake’ comes out.

7.  They are vindictive.  They never forget who hurt them and will not miss an opportunity to retaliate. It might even be years later, yet they still hang onto anger and absolutely refuse to forgive anyone for anything. If you make them look bad ever, you will get clobbered.

8. They are masters at turning the tables. They will take something they are doing, and accuse you of the same thing. For ex. My ex was lying, so he accused me of lying. They will be having an affair, and then turn around and accuse you of having an affair. When they do something it is ok, but if you do it – you are wrong and stupid, and get humiliated.

And now, some perfect narcissist songs!

“I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!”

“ITS ALL ABOUT YOU”

When is it Stalking?

I know I am sensitive with this issue. I have been stalked. I have had people chase me with cars, on foot, on the phone, in person, and even show up outside my glass sliding door. I have had things outside destroyed. I have had nails in my driveway, cars vandalized, broken windows, etc. I have had people sneak into my apartment. I know the terror that comes with being stalked.

However, now I am finding stalking in a new arena – online. Has this happened to you? I find myself ‘hiding’ and not wanting to come online. All because someone wouldn’t be respectful. I have had ex’s stalk my Linkedin. I have had old High School people I know nothing about try to message and contact and put something on my FaceBook page everyday. And then when I deny a friend request – they ‘friend’ my brother just so they can post on my page. Did you know that ‘friends of friends’ can see everything on your FaceBook Page? I tried to change it and it went back. I am seriously thinking of deleting the whole thing.

I have had many, many people post negative things – all on my space. I get weary sometimes of monitoring all the online stuff.  Yes, I have reached many – but with a cost.  There are haters, there are trolls – those who hunt you down just to try to pull you under the bridge. And then there are some who will not take “NO” for an answer in this ‘instant’ age.  P.S. I am not your ‘fix’. I am not your ‘drug’. I am not your ‘instant messenger’.

If you text me and I don’t answer – I am busy.

If you call me next and I don’t answer – perhaps I do not want to talk.

If you e-mail me next –  I will not answer.

So why do you send another text?

And then post something on my FaceBook page?  Post on your own page.

And then when I still do not answer why do you message me on FaceBook?

And then when I do not answer you instantly you start calling other people to bad mouth me – really?

Seriously? I didn’t answer.  I am busy, or not available, or I DO NOT want to talk right now.  I get to choose who and when I want to talk to.  Please – respect  my privacy.  Respect my boundaries.  No means No.  I have choices too – it’s not always about YOU!

And the more you do it – the less I will answer.

In my opinion that is rude – and stalking. Knock it off!

Stop Tolerating the Jezebel Spirit

Stop TOLERATING the Jezebel spirit!
These are my notes from a teaching I saw from Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church 2011 Pastors Conference in TX.

Here is a video about it: https://youtu.be/SkddEWj-Su0

The Jezebel spirit tries to get you to defile yourself on the inside or outside to disqualify you for ministry.

We should cast her out and those who commit adultery with her. Don’t allow this anymore. The Jezebel spirit only has power because we tolerate it. This is a constant battle for people in authority. As long as you are in authority you will run into this spirit.

Jezebel was rejected by her father and had a controlling mother. She/He is so wounded that they don’t want to be rejected. They are control freaks. Usually this spirit comes through a friend who wants to be your best friend.

Most of the time we don’t want to confront it because of what you will get back. Who in your church are you afraid to confront? You will get an over the top reaction or rejection when you do confront them.

Elijah addressed Jezebel and Ahab. Every Jezebel has an Ahab. Every person has been confronted by both of these spirits.

Revelation 2 speaks about what happens when you allow this spirit to continue.

What King of Israel conquered more land in the Old Testament?

1. Solomon
2. Ahab
3. David

Ahab was #2 which shows you can be a great conquerer and still be in bondage to a Jezebel spirit. Ahab couldn’t get the vineyard next door to his castle. He pouted. Jezebel got the land through manipulation, intimidation, lying, and fear.

6 ways to recognize Jezebel spirit

  1. Insecurity
  2. Rejection
  3. Pride
  4. Arrogance
  5. Manipulation
  6. Control

Jezebel can operate in a man or a woman. It is a manipulating, insecure, controlling, jealous spirit.

As long as you tolerate this spirit it is going to effect you!

4 effects or symptoms of how this spirit effects you
(From 1 Kings 19) when Elijah runs from Jezebel

1. Fear – Elijah ran for his life. Are you afraid to address someone in your church? It is a spirit.

2. Isolation – when you want to get away from everyone and everything.
Just want to be alone. You withdraw.

3. Exhaustion – you collapse, you are so tired you sleep for hours when you leave the area. It is a spirit.
Or if you have problems sleeping when you get back – you sense the oppression.

4. Depression. Elijah prayed that he would die. Many leaders are affected by this: Moses, Jeremiah, Jonah.

Thoughts of suicide are evidence of a Jezebel spirit attack  in your life. Impure sexual thoughts from out of the blue are evidence that you are under attack from a Jezebel spirit. And these thoughts are bombarding your mind, despite your best intentions.

Signs that You Are Being attacked by a Jezebel spirit

1. Thoughts of quitting. You want to quit what God has called and ordained you to do. You can be gracious with the person, but you can’t be gracious with the spirit.

2. Suicidal thoughts. This is evidence of a Jezebel spirit. Bombarding thoughts.

3. Depression. For example, do you find yourself relating to commercials on depression?

4. Having sexual impure thoughts. Bombarded with this stuff.

5. Strange and prolonged sicknesses.

6. Bizarre and near tragic/fatal accidents.

The spirit is trying to steal, kill, and destroy you!

Jezebel spirit tries to :

Steal your peace, joy, & confidence
Kill you with sickness & accidents
Destroy you with depression & fear

What is the Answer?

  1. Address it in the person. Be gracious to the person, but not the spirit
  2. Remove that person from all leadership unless the person repents
  3. Remove that person from any personal influence with you

You can’t remain friends with a Jezebel – they are not humble or teachable. That spirit will affect you.

1 Kings 19. Wind = Holy Spirit

Prophet, Priest, and King – Jesus

If you don’t deal with this. God will deal with you. Those who sleep with Jezebel were judged too.

He will remove you and raise up someone who will stand up to the spirit. And that person will have a double anointing.

What to Do:

Get with God
Seek Godly Counsel
Take action.

Prayer – repent for tolerating this spirit in leadership. Cast it out and trample that spirit. Forgive us Lord.

Take authority over that spirit. By the Name, blood, and the Power of the Lamb we rebuke Satan and every demonic spirit of control, manipulation, rejection, fear, intimidation.. go in Jesus Name!

Thank you for the breakthrough, in Jesus Name

What is being held up in your life because you are tolerating this spirit?

Jezebel Spirit

Revelation 2

The Corrupt Church

18 “And to the angel of the church in Thyatira write,

‘These things says the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire, and His feet like fine brass: 19 “I know your works, love, service, faith,[b] and your patience; and as for your works, the last are more than the first. 20 Nevertheless I have a few things against you, because you allow[c] that woman[d] Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach and seduce[e] My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. 21 And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent.[f] 22 Indeed I will cast her into a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her into great tribulation, unless they repent of their[g] deeds. 23 I will kill her children with death, and all the churches shall know that I am He who searches the minds and hearts. And I will give to each one of you according to your works.

24 “Now to you I say, and to the rest in Thyatira, as many as do not have this doctrine, who have not known the depths of Satan, as they say, I will put on you no other burden. 25 But hold fast what you have till I come. 26 And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations—

27 ‘He shall rule them with a rod of iron;
They shall be dashed to pieces like the potter’s vessels’—
as I also have received from My Father; 28 and I will give him the morning star.

29 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”’