It has been said that as a man thinks he is in his heart, so he is. If you think you are a victim, and refuse to take a step forward, you might stay a victim. Overcoming this mentality has taken me years. After living in domestic violence for years I had given away all my power – to the Abuser. It didn’t happen all at once, it was a little at a time. I worshipped him. I did whatever he said, or else I had to “pay the price”. I thought he would change. I was wrong. He didn’t want to change. It was me that neede to change. I had allowed myself to remain in an unsafe situation for too long.
I had to learn a new way to think. My thinker was broken. This was the first step for me in becoming whole. In my “infinite wisdom” I sought out self-help books. I had a whole library! Years later, I had to admit that my self-help was no help. In fact I got even more depressed.
i went to counselor after counselor next. Yes, this helped, but it always keep me living in the past and rehashing everything. I wanted a future! This was not my answer either.
Then I tried the 12 step meetings. Now maybe your experience was different, but mine was a nightmare. I was so naive. I really believed everything people said. Needless to say, after another 10 years of my life passed me by and another failed marriage, I left. Not everyone that goes to those meetings wants to get well. Some want to stay sick and use the meetings to justify their bad behavior. Lesson learned.
It wasn’t until I learned about Jesus and who he truly was the things started to change for me. Reading the Word and memorizing verses literally renewed my mind. Really, it was the only way that I learned how to stand up for myself and my children and be strong.
Today I am no longer a victim. I am victorious in Christ. And I and my kids are free from living in violence. Yes, it took time. But it was worth it. And I am not the same person I used to be. I am not a doormat. I am blessed, and loved, and cherished, and precious – and so are you.
There is a way out if you are living in domestic violence. Take a step and tell someone what is really going on behind closed doors at your house. You are worth it, whether the Abuser thinks so or not. He’s a liar anyway, don’t believe the garbage that comes out of his mouth. God is faithful and true, and He will sing over you!
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You are more precious than you know. If you are like me than sometimes we let others define us. I look back at old pictures and it amazes me how I changed my appearance based on who I was dating at the time. Hey, there is Diana the prep, Diana the biker, Diana the country chic, Diana the Professional, etc. Can you relate?
I have also accepted so many different labels in my life. Things that just are not true. I went through the 12 step rigamaroe – my name is____ and I’m a ____ and I will be forever. What a pile of garbage. I can’t believe I bought all that stuff at face value. No, I am not a ______ – not now, not then, not ever! God does not say that about me – so it is NOT TRUE! As you can see, I am not a fan of the 12 steps. I have found them to be pits of very unsafe people. You can read about it here:
It is true that our thoughts become our actions. But only if we allow it and take those words into our hearts. Just because someone says something does not mean it’s true. But if you tell an Eagle it is a Chicken – and it chooses to believe that lie, then it will not learn to fly. Tell a girl she is a victim and tell her she will always be that way – then she will attract abuser after abuser. Tell a person they have always been a drunk, are a drunk, and will be forever a drunk – and guess what? They go back to drink. If you tell someone they will be that way forever and they believe it, they will stay that way. How does that help anyone get better?How does that help anyone get better? Hence, my dislike for any ‘program’ that exalts itself above the WORD of God.
YOU ARE MORE PRECIOUS THAN YOU KNOW.
All those labels people tried to get you to wear – let them fall to the ground.
All those things people said about you – they weren’t true – let them fall to the ground.
All those words you said to yourself after believing those lies – let them fall to the ground.
Ok, now for my spunky part. Idk why I do this. I guess I am just not afraid to say what I feel needs to be said. And I have been on both sides of the street, so perhaps I am not ‘indoctrinated’ too badly.
Give grace, love without regret, and live – be happy – it drives them crazy!!
And a bit of advice for all the Finger Pointers, Accusers, Pharisees, and Liars out there:
Demeaning others and calling them names does not motivate people to change.
Telling someone they will ‘always be that way’ – does not motivate people to change.
Shaming someone and calling them their ‘sin’ does not motivate people to change.
Talking about how holy and righteous you are and how others just need to ‘shape up or ship out” does not motivate people to change.
Gossiping about others does not motivate people to change.
Throwing the ‘get right with God or else you’re going to hell’ does not motivate people to change.
God makes me new everyday – I refuse to accept your picture of who you think I am.
Your warped picture of me is not who I am. Those words you called me are bouncing right back to you.
I am a work in progress, and so are my brothers and sisters. I am more than what I do or don’t do. So is the rest of the family. We all have ‘stuff”. And guess what, God already knows about it! And He loves us anyway – stuff and all.
If you don’t have anything positive to say, do us a favor, sit down and be quiet!
I will put my trust in God and the Holy Spirit, my helper, will do the work in me from the inside-out. So put down your stick. It is not helping.
We are God’s chosen and His beloved children – that’s what He said. Who said you get to beat up on God’s kids and call them names?
I am writing this as I was looking at the grass today, and how quickly the Dandelions grow back. You know you can cut the grass one day and the very next day they are back. Springing up despite all your effort. Kind of reminds me of addiction. You can try on your own. And people will judge you and tell you you are not ‘good enough’ for God, you are not doing it right, you need to…blah, blah, blah.
OR you can go to meetings for years upon years and buy into the learned helplessness motto. “I am this way and I will always be this way.” What a crock! No, God says I can be healed. God says I can be made whole. I don’t go to those meetings anymore – I think it hurt me more than it helped me. Hey, lets get a bunch of “sick” people together and let them sit around talking about how ‘sick’ they are and how they will always be that way. Didn’t work for me. In face I’ve heard that the relapse rate is like 80 – 90%. Kind of reminds me of dandelions. You can cut off the top, but if you don’t kill the roots – it comes back.
How do you kill the roots? In my experience, only Jesus can heal that broken place. He saw how we got that way, He will take care of the offender/abuser, and He can heal it – if we let him. He can get the roots out so the dandelions don’t grow back. And the Holy Spirit can heal it.
Don’ look at the dandelions – LOOK AT THE GARDENER!
Ask, seek, knock of Him.
Sit at His feet.
LET HIM LOVE ON YOU.
Accept His love.
Let down the walls.
Open the door.
And before you know it those darn dandelions are gone!
Copyright 2014 Diana Rasmussen
in the grass
The weeds keep
Cut and spray them
hoping they won’t
come back again
Only to find
the next day
Why not pull
them out by the
The flower is only
It comes back
again and again
the pain and suffering
the fighting and the strife
the alcohol and the drugs
the razors and the knives
They are all DANDELIONS
We can keep cutting the grass – with meetings, self -control, treatment centers, counseling…but if we don’t kill it at the roots – you know what happens…Let the Master Gardener help today – He knows what He is doing…
The Vine and the Branches
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. (JOHN 15:1-9 NIV)
Can I get a testimony? Does God really still deliver people? I mean I remember Noah and Abraham, and even Daniel and those lions. But does He really still do that kind of thing? My testimony is yes and amen!
So, how did I get here you ask?
Diana’s testimony of the goodness of God and his people:
I have lived in abuse, years upon years, relationship upon relationship. I have been married – (more than once), and I have been divorced – (more than once) to abusive men. I have been to the shelters, time and again. I have had restraining orders, had them broken, and called the police again. I have been to court more times that I can count. I have fought for my children and their rights for child support. I have had suicide attempts and thank you Lord, I did not succeed. I have been to the Mental Health Ward – more than once. I have gone to the counselors, taken the “happy pills” and lived in ‘la-la land” for months at a time. I have been treated for depression and at one time in my life , I did not get out of bed for 6 months. I have lived through 10 years of “meetings” and I’m still here!
I didn’t grow up in church. I knew there was a God, but I really didn’t think he wanted anything to do with me – not after what I had done. I viewed God like any other man I had met – a control freak who was out to hurt me. Until that last time at the shelter. My kids had drawn some pictures with the children’s counselor that rocked my world. They made me cry, and finally see the truth of abuse that we had been living in.
It was there in the Domestic Violence shelter that I said, “OK maybe I don’t know you God – can you just show me who you really are?” And things started changing. Our 30 day stay at the YWCA was lengthened to 40 days. And I was accepted to a new program at our local Salvation Army called Project Breakthru. It was a year and a half program and if I completed the classes they would help me with rent. I only paid 30% of my income. At the time I was waitressing – part time. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it. But God made a way – we had our own 3 bedroom apartment within a week.
Over the course of the next 18 months I had taken classes on budgeting, nutrition, Life Changing Courses, and more. Also went through another divorce another restraining order, and umpteen times to court to fight for child support. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
I have laughed, I have cried, I have believed, and I have doubted. But through it all, God has been faithful. He has made a way for me and my children where there was no way. He has protected me and my children supernaturally, more than once. He has provided for us faithfully – oh the stories I could tell. He has restored my peace of mind. I am no longer taking any ‘happy pills’. I do not hear “the voices” in my head that used to scream things at me, or whisper and laugh at me. I do not live in the land of shame and guilt anymore. And most importantly, my children and I are safe. No more fear, no more hurt, no more abuse. We have changed addresses!
I am not that same person I used to be. But I had to learn what healthy relationships were. And I had to learn to establish boundaries in my life. Today, I do not live in fear. Today I am not a victim of abuse, I am a beloved daughter of the King. I am life that God has touched, rescued, and changed. I know that God exists, He saved my soul from the pit. He protected me and my children, He rescued and delivered us, and I know He will do it for you too!
Blessings and peace to you,
Here is my new Gravatar, just so you know it’s me. It’s from Genesis. Remember when Noah sent the dove and it brought back an olive branch? Proof that the new land was ready for habitation and that the flood was over!
The young girl that used to believe in miracles and wonders.
The one that thought she could take on the world and never fail.
The girl who believed in herself and knew she was special.
The girl who wouldn’t let those mean words get through to her heart.
Wanted – the innocence again of childhood.
See, I have looked to many things to ‘find myself’. Maybe you have too. I looked to the world, I have looked to relationships, I have looked to money and jobs, I have looked to things like alcohol and drugs, I have looked to psychology and 12 step groups. I have even looked to church. But like Joseph and Mary long ago, I lost Jesus at the church. I worshipped the religion, but not the man – Christ Jesus. That was another 10 year adventure right there. But I never found her – that little girl lost, until I looked to Jesus. When I looked to HIM, I found ME!
I am Second is a movement meant to inspire people of all kinds to live for God and for others. Actors. Athletes. Musicians. Business leaders. Drug addicts. Your next-door neighbor. People like you. The authentic stories on iamsecond.com provide insight into dealing with typical struggles of everyday living. These are stories that give hope to the lonely and the hurting, help from destructive lifestyles, and inspiration to the unfulfilled. You’ll discover people who’ve tried to go it alone and have failed. Find the hope, peace, and fulfillment they found. Be Second.
There is protection available to us when we are under the Blood of Jesus. Remember our battle is not with flesh and blood…and our weapons are not carnal – but mighty!
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 NKJV)
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints— and for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel,for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” (Ephesians 6:10-20 NKJV)
THE BLOOD OF JESUS PROTECTS AND PROVIDES
The Blood of Jesus possesses cleansing power. If there is any form of dirt of filth in your life or environment, the Blood of Jesus will cleanse them.
The Blood of Jesus could serve as disinfectant. Any thing that wants to pollute, will not be able to get in. You should sanitize your life, your body, house, shop, etc. In fact, before you move into a new apartment or house, you should sanitize it and the surroundings, with the Blood of Jesus. The foundations of many houses, were laid with sacrifices of all kinds. Houses that were built thirty of forty years ago, have things buried in them, by the owners and such things work negatively on the inhabitants of such houses, especially if they are not born again.
3. Deliverance: When you call the Blood of Jesus into operation, it causes the enemy to flee, because it contains the life of God. It sets people free from bondage.
4. Healing: It can heal all forms of infirmity. When you plead the Blood of Jesus, things begin to happen.
6. Life-giving power: to revive anyone or anything that is dead. It could be marriage, finances, business, etc.
7. Yoke-breaking: Whenever you plead the Blood of Jesus, people and things are set free from any kind of yoke.
8. Overcoming power.
9. Door-opening power: to open every door that has been closed against good things in the life of a person.
10. Creative and re-creative power: Anything that is supposed to be in the life or body of a person, or has been removed through surgery or witchcraft, can be recalled back into existence by the Blood of Jesus.
11. Renewing power.
12. Battle dissolving power that makes the enemies go in disarray.
13. Promotion power and energy.
14. Breakthrough power.
15. Miracle receiving power
16. Poison destroying power. Many have been poisoned physically or spiritually. The Blood of Jesus neutralises such poisons and flushes them out of the system.
17. Mountain-moving power
18. Demon-paralysing power.
The ring-tone on one of my phones is the song: “Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing Blood, are you washed in the Blood of the Lamb.” One day, I was sitting somewhere and the phone rang; before I could answer the call, a woman had started to manifest and a strange voice spoke from her mouth, screaming: “Stop that music, stop that music!” The demon in her was affected by the song, because of the power in the Blood of Jesus.
19. Virtue-restoring power.
20. Burden-removing power.
21. Bondage-destroying power:
When you plead the Blood of Jesus into any situation, it will eventually bow. Many people do not understand the overcoming weapons that they have in the word of God. The Bible says: “And they overcame him by the Blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony.”
Every now and then you run across a post that just opens up a new revelation for you, right? Well last night I read this and it immediately spoke to me. You may or may not agree with me on this post – and that is ok. I am sharing my experiences and my thoughts here.
You see, in my past I have attended about 10+ years of 12 Step Meetings. I went to everything from Al-Anon, CODA, ACOA, AA, NA, and more looking for answers. I did not know GOD then. And I bought into the lie – that I could just make one up. That the “God of my understanding” was it. There were even those who prayed to doorknobs and squirrels. Really. A room full of people looking for answers, and using a Blue Book instead of the Bible. Yeah, I made up my own image of God ( my very own idol) and I refused the God of the Bible. At that time in my life I memorized that Blue Book. After all we read those 12 steps and 12 traditions at every meeting. And we share old war stories. And we measure ourselves by what we do or don’t do – drink or don’t drink, drug or don’t drug, etc. Wow, talk about deceived. Talk about a form of Godliness and denying it’s power.
Anyway, let’s just take the 1st Step:
1. We admitted we were POWERLESS OVER _____, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
Ok, what does the Word of God say about this?
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
(2 TIMOTHY 1:7 NKJV)
But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. (Romans 8:11 NKJV)
So, here is my dilemma:
In 12 step groups you are powerless and will never recover. You have no power. The drink or the drug is your GOD. You measure yourself by that. You believe you are sick forever. And the thing that you want relief from has now become your GOD. I worshiped my recovery. I thought about it day and night, I went to multiple meetings, and I even defined myself with a ‘label’ when I attended. I became my ‘disease’. My name is _____ and I am a __________. What a lie. Talk about being deceived.
In the Body of Christ – you have the power of God in you, the same power that rose Jesus Christ from the dead, and you can be healed and made whole and well. The power of the Holy Spirit resides in you. Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord. God gets to be God, and deliver you, and free you – from whatever. It is not based on our works, what we do or don’t do, but on the Grace of God. Our worth is not based on what we drink or eat or do. And we are not a disease. We are children of the King. And we have POWER! We are not POWERLESS!
I have even read that these groups are cults. Really. Wow, talk about a revelation. Exploring more, I came across these two blogs.
Now I get it. These meetings are court ordered for many criminals including sex offenders and pedophiles I have been 13th stepped. I have met some very, very sick people in 12 step groups. Like JM, who thought he was an expert in Al-Anon, was the leader in many groups, but was a Predator in disguise. Had all the toys – the corvette, the plane, the house, made lots of money, yet drank himself to oblivion every night after a meeting. He later was fired from his cushy job for keeping inappropriate photos at work. He had guns in his closet and wasn’t afraid to use them. He had photo album upon album of his S&M ‘hobby’ of demeaning and beating women – I saw them. He thought he was fine and recovered. And this is the person who led the meetings. Yeah. And I’m sure he is not the only sicko in charge. And no, I do not go to meetings anymore – too many psychos! Thank you Jesus, for truth and light.
A Documentary about sexual predatory behavior in AA and it’s culture. This is about changing laws at a Federal level around criminals being plea bargained into 12 step meetings. This film is about changing policy in AA and making AA safer with Workshops, Literature, Posters, Sexual harassment training at every level within its structure and warning the public of its current polices and who is really sitting in a meeting with the public at large and current AA members.