Tag Archives: judgement

Stop Shaming Me – It’s Not Helping

Yes, we are all well meaning Christians. But sometimes, in an effort to ‘help’ we make things worse for our brothers and sisters who are struggling. Let’s face it, we all have stuff. Every single one of us, even the Pastors, even the Worship Team.

This past week I have been going off some medication in an effort to get rid of a constant ringing in my ears. So I know I am more sensitive in all areas. The medicine was to help with anxiety and depression. So yeah, kinda a mess at the moment.  So, here is my rant…

I will speak for myself here as to not share any names.

I get frustrated when others use me (or others) as an example in public. It might be a ‘friend” who just can’t stop the gossiping after I share something in confidence with them. They thought others should know so they could pray for them. Yeah right – they just wanted to gossip. It might be a Pastor who shares a person struggle from the Pulpit  without asking them for permission and now everyone knows.  It might be the random post from FB or Twitter or whatever to bring attention to a another person’s struggles, because they think they are trying to help. Can I tell you  – stuff like this is NOT helping!

I  have shared private information with people in the past, and they chose to make it public by naming me as “that girl with depression.” Yeah, thanks. Like I really wanted an announcement so now everyone can look at me and give me that label. Thanks. You just heaped a pile of more shame on something I am trying to get deliverance from.

I have had Pastors label me as the ‘divorced girl’ when they are teaching classes on how to have a good marriage. Thanks. Failed again I guess. Yeah, I’m the one coming to church, he is the one who cheated, and now I am the ‘divorced girl.’ Great.  Do you think I asked for this? Do you really think I wanted that label? Thanks again for naming me from the Pulpit so now everyone can call me that. I got up and walked out of that class, and out of that church.

I battle with smoking. I have quit 3 times in my life. I have tried Chantix – made me even more crazy. Tried the patch, tried the gum, tried the lozenges. Do you really think I want to keep doing this? When you see me smoking and make a public post about it – do you think that helps me? Your judgement just made me feel even more unworthy to be here.  Now I am even more shamed. Thanks alot. Like I really need more on my plate. Sorry I don’t live up to your expectations of what a ‘perfect Christitan’ looks like. I never said I was perfect. I come to Church to get free of alot of things. I am here to get better. I don’t need your judgement. Stop shaming me – it’s not helping.

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Maybe instead of making me (or others) your scapegoat you could stop making my life your podium to condemn me. In the Old Testament they used to take the scapegoats out of the camp and kill them. Guess what – you just tried, and I’m still here.

Yes, I’m riled up today. I get upset when people try to be my (or others) Holy Spirit. It’s not their job. I am seeking God. I am praying, I am reading my Bible, I have fasted. Seriously, if you are that concerned about me, maybe praying for me would help more than your condemnation of me.

Enough already. Life is hard enough without getting beat up at a place where I come to get healed. Lord, help us all.

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