Tag: rant

Bullying, Hurt in Church, Religion and Spirituality, Spirituality

Stop Shaming Me – It’s Not Helping

Yes, we are all well meaning Christians. But sometimes, in an effort to ‘help’ we make things worse for our brothers and sisters who are struggling. Let’s face it, we all have stuff. Every single one of us, even the Pastors, even the Worship Team.

This past week I have been going off some medication in an effort to get rid of a constant ringing in my ears. So I know I am more sensitive in all areas. The medicine was to help with anxiety and depression. So yeah, kinda a mess at the moment.  So, here is my rant…

I will speak for myself here as to not share any names.

I get frustrated when others use me (or others) as an example in public. It might be a ‘friend” who just can’t stop the gossiping after I share something in confidence with them. They thought others should know so they could pray for them. Yeah right – they just wanted to gossip. It might be a Pastor who shares a person struggle from the Pulpit  without asking them for permission and now everyone knows.  It might be the random post from FB or Twitter or whatever to bring attention to a another person’s struggles, because they think they are trying to help. Can I tell you  – stuff like this is NOT helping!

I  have shared private information with people in the past, and they chose to make it public by naming me as “that girl with depression.” Yeah, thanks. Like I really wanted an announcement so now everyone can look at me and give me that label. Thanks. You just heaped a pile of more shame on something I am trying to get deliverance from.

I have had Pastors label me as the ‘divorced girl’ when they are teaching classes on how to have a good marriage. Thanks. Failed again I guess. Yeah, I’m the one coming to church, he is the one who cheated, and now I am the ‘divorced girl.’ Great.  Do you think I asked for this? Do you really think I wanted that label? Thanks again for naming me from the Pulpit so now everyone can call me that. I got up and walked out of that class, and out of that church.

I battle with smoking. I have quit 3 times in my life. I have tried Chantix – made me even more crazy. Tried the patch, tried the gum, tried the lozenges. Do you really think I want to keep doing this? When you see me smoking and make a public post about it – do you think that helps me? Your judgement just made me feel even more unworthy to be here.  Now I am even more shamed. Thanks alot. Like I really need more on my plate. Sorry I don’t live up to your expectations of what a ‘perfect Christitan’ looks like. I never said I was perfect. I come to Church to get free of alot of things. I am here to get better. I don’t need your judgement. Stop shaming me – it’s not helping.

Maybe instead of making me (or others) your scapegoat you could stop making my life your podium to condemn me. In the Old Testament they used to take the scapegoats out of the camp and kill them. Guess what – you just tried, and I’m still here.

Yes, I’m riled up today. I get upset when people try to be my (or others) Holy Spirit. It’s not their job. I am seeking God. I am praying, I am reading my Bible, I have fasted. Seriously, if you are that concerned about me, maybe praying for me would help more than your condemnation of me.

Enough already. Life is hard enough without getting beat up at a place where I come to get healed. Lord, help us all.

behavior, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Spirituality, Women, words

My Rant About Keeping My Mouth Shut With the Ex

After this weekend I know the Holy Spirit is helping me, lol! I did NOT say the first thought that came to my head. Now it’s been 11 years since we divorced. And I got full custody of the two kids due to his history of domestic violence. Now you think after all that I would know better. Why do I believe anything that guy says? Ugghhhh.

My son wanted to go visit his dad over the holiday break. Not so easy since the ex took off to KY to hide from the police. There is a warrant out for his arrest in the state of WI for 10 plus years of not paying his child support. Yeah, welcome to my world.

So in my travels here’s a few thoughts going through my head and what I did about it.

  1. Maybe I should just call the cops and have him picked up. He’s guilty.
  2. He says he has no money but shows up in a brand new rental car every time. He still lies.
  3. He promised to give me money for half of the cost of the school ring for my son. Didn’t bring it. Another empty promise. 
  4. He promised my daughter shopping money for Black Friday. Then he takes my son out shopping and gets my daughter nothing. What a jerk. 
  5. He said to meet halfway (4+ hours one way) and then is late – both times. I had to keep driving to meet them.  Disrespectful.
  6. He looks like crap. I wonder if he’s back to using drugs? Not a great role model for the kids.
  7. He wants to do this all over again at Christmas. Are you freaking kidding me?

  

What I actually did say:

1. Yes, I will drive halfway. I know my son wants to see his dad.

2. Oh, running late? I’ll drive a bit further.

3. Nice car.

4. So what about Christmas?

Yeah, I know. I must have rocks in my head right? No, I think God helped me keep my mouth shut and put my son’s wants and needs above my own. My ex will always be his father-no matter what I think or what I feel. I don’t have to like it. I can’t change it. And I can’t change him – never could. 

Thank you Lord for helping me keep my mouth shut and not making a scene in front of my son. Thank you Holy Spirit for guarding my mouth!

  

 

Psalm 141:3 

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. 

Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Plagiarism is Stealing

What a Sheep Thinks When You Plagiarize Another Pastor’s Sermon

(Yes, my rant about how a ‘sheep’ feels when a Pastor takes credit for another Pastor’s sermon.)

When I wrote this blog last night I was angry. Today I am sad. I can’t believe there are those who ‘peddle’ God’s Word. And God says there are many who do this. We talked about ‘faith healers’ yesterday and how some Preachers will walk into the anointing from other people’s prayers and perform miracles. Then they ‘steal’ the credit and say they did it. God is the healer, and it is He who does the works. And then there are Pastors who will preach another Pastors words without giving them credit. They preach it as if they wrote it. It’s like a play or performance then. Just reading the lines. I found this about those who ‘peddle’ God’s Word for profit, for gain, and for applause:

 Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. To the one we are the aroma of death leading to death, and to the other the aroma of life leading to life. And who is sufficient for these things?  For we are not, as so many, peddling the word of God; but as of sincerity, but as from God, we speak in the sight of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:14-17 NKJV)

From Naiarland Forum

2 Corinthians 2:17.

The English word “peddle” is the Greek word, “kapēleuō” and from the root word, kapelos which means a huckster. By definition in English, it means to be a retailer, to make money by selling anything. It means to get sordid gain by dealing in anything, to do a thing for base gain. It means to trade in the word of God for money or personal gain. It means to try to get base gain by corrupting and adulterating divine truth. A peddlers were in the habit of adulterating their commodities for the sake of gain and all these rings a bell in our days.

Apostle Paul outrightly made it clear that those who peddle the word of God for profit are so many. This we cannot overlook in our days with the end time churches. The question then goes, who are these people that peddle the word of God for profit and how do we recognize them?

 

There is a simple solution. If you find a sermon online – give credit to the Pastor who wrote it. As a Worship Leader our band sings songs that other Musicians wrote. We belong to CCLI and we report the songs we sing. As a Worship Leader we don’t take credit for the songs we sing – we acknowledge that we did not write them and give credit where credit is due. This way the Writer of the song gets credit for us singing their song. It is the honest and lawful thing to do. And it speaks to our integrity. As bloggers we are careful to cite our sources for words and images. It’s about honesty.

Here Are My Thoughts on What a Sheep Feels When a Pastor Plagiarizes Another Pastors Sermon:

  1. You are not talking to God. I want to hear what God has told you this week. What are His thoughts?
  2. You don’t care about the sheep. We don’t matter. If we did you would feed us. We are hungry. We are thirsty. And You have chosen to be the Shepherd of this flock.
  3. You are only interested in the applause or the microphone.
  4. If you steal another Pastor’s words what will you steal from me?
  5. I trusted you to pray for me and bring me before the Father. You broke that trust when I can find your words on Google and some other Pastor wrote it. You didn’t give him the credit. He did the work. You preached it as if it were your words. You are stealing.
  6. It wasn’t the Word God gave you for this body. That sermon was for another Pastor and his church.
  7. If you don’t credit the original Author, what else are you stealing credit for? It is dishonest and makes me question whether I can trust you.
  8. I must not matter to you as a sheep because you are too busy or too lazy to care what God wants to say to me and this part of the body. I trusted you to talk and pray to God for all of this body. God brought us here. I thought you cared.
  9. Pastors have been fired for plagiarism. It is dishonest. It is wrong. If you don’t want to do the work then don’t take the job. (Guess I am a little angry. Help me Lord.)
  10. It makes me question whether God cares about me or not. You are His mouthpiece, and you have nothing to say except someone else’s words?

 

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(Image Sources: http://pulpitplagiarism.blogspot.com/2012/11/charlotte-nc-pastor-resigns-over.html  and  Pinterest)

Healing, Spirituality

Faith Happens When the Rant is Over

I was reading a friend’s blog today, Lori Lara on Allowing Our Kids to Question Their Faith when she said something that stirred my spirit.

Because faith is what happens when the rant is over; it shows up when the rage is openly drained; it’s the supernatural answer that comes when the sadness flows freely. In the fatigue of our grieving, God answers, “I’m here. I’m still here. I’ve always been here, and I’ll never leave you.”

 

After the rant

  • Jonah got out of the whale and went to Nineveh
  • Jacob quit fighting God and got a new name
  • Job had his life restored.
  • Paul got his sight back and went to preach and write most of the New Testament
  • Peter got off the boat and preached the sermon of sermons in Acts

 

You know, sometimes I rant out loud and argue with God. I have been doing that for the last few days. And other times I sit in silence and rant on the inside. There are days I feel like I am screaming on the inside. I used to bury all those feelings and be afraid to express anything. Not a healthy way to live that’s for sure. It made me sick for many years, all that bottling things up. That has changed, thank you Lord. I’m ok having feelings today. And I can talk to God about how I feel without feeling like I am condemned. I rant, I argue, I cry. And then we talk.

I have to admit, sometimes I just do not know why God does what he does, and why He allows things that I don’t understand. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t even know all the questions. Why do I try and figure God out? Like He is a normal person or something. Sometimes I am so familiar, or so I think, with God that I put Him in a box and expect him to do what I think. Guess I have control issues. I know I have trust issues. Just being honest.

But you know what – I’m not God. I don’t have everything figured out. Sometimes I really don’t know what to do. Sometimes I think I just need to let go and let Him be God. Not like I have any say in it, I mean really – he is God all by Himself. I can’t believe I have been so selfish. Forgive me Lord. Today, I’ll stop trying to tell you what to do and how to do it. Today, I choose to trust You.


“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
Thanks Lori Lara for helping me see today! Lori shares her journey of recovery, motherhood, and the healing power of God’s grace. You can follow Lori at:
http://lorilara.com

(Images from Pinterest)

Boundaries, Domestic Violence and Abuse, Hurt in Church, Poetry, Spirituality

Don’t Believe Everything – NaPoWriMo Day 28

ok, kind of a rant today.  This is not true of all the Shepherds/Sheep I know – some are surrounded by the love of God and share with others. Some would give you the shirt off their back if they knew you needed one.  Maybe I just have a bad attitude today, idk. Might just be me – so if so, forgive my rant.

But then there are those who like the power and control.  And maybe it’s me – I know I am overly sensitive to that spirit.  Yeah – paid the price for welcoming that thing into my life. But then again, that’s why it makes me so mad.  It is such a destroying spirit. Tears down everything good to be on the throne.  Wants everyone to worship it.

ugggh!

 

I have found that just like in the world, there are those in the church that thrive on power and control.  And there are those who abuse it. Who take advantage of people when they are at their lowest.  Those who kick you when you are down. And use religion to justify their ‘holier-than-thou attitude’.  Maybe you have run into a few?

So, here’s my rant:

Sometimes the ‘religiosity’ of people in church drives me nuts.  There, I said it.  I have been beaten down by people, the world, my flesh, Satan, his demons, men, bosses, etc…and I am sure you have had your share too.  And yet it infuriates me when other “Christians” insist that what Jesus did is not good enough.  Like I could add something to that perfect sacrifice. Yeah, right.

You hear it..

You need to read your Bible more (How much is enough?)

You need to pray more (I do pray, I didn’t know we were in a contest)

You need to repent, again and again cuz you are such a screw up (I thought Jesus took care of that – yesterday, today, and even my mistakes I do tomorrow.)

You know, not everyone is getting into Heaven – implying they are, but none of us ‘sheep’ are. (Oh, I guess I better pay for the upgrade…)

You need to tithe more (Wow, guess I’ll stop paying my mortgage and electricity – yeah cardboard box, that will work.)

You need to go knock on some doors and bring those people here (I think they know they live next to a church)

You need to … blah, blah, blah

Newsflash –

  • I know I have sinned, do you need to beat me over the head with it?
  • How can I repent and come to the alter when you continually kick me when I am down?
  • I came to church to be forgiven – by Jesus, not by you.  You are not my God, God is God all by himself. He really did do it without you.
  • While you are busy fighting with the other Shepherds about whose doctrine is right/wrong – your sheep are being eaten by the wolves.  Yeah, that would be me. And other sheep I know.
  • If you don’t stop beating the sheep up, they are not going to keep coming back.  Starving sheep don’t do well.
  • If you don’t guard and protect the sheep they will continue to get hurt buy the wolves. If you don’t lead, we won’t follow.
  • It really isn’t about you, or me. I am ok with that.  It’s about HIM.
  • This is not your church. This isn’t your kingdom. That is not your money – It belongs to JESUS.

 

Source: Pinterest

DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING

©2014 Diana Rasmussen

Learned my lesson long ago

Don’t believe everything

someone says but to

test and see if their

words and actions match

I’ve been led astray

too many times to

believe everything I hear

What is the fruit

of their words?

Do they bring confusion

or seek peace?

Do they name it, claim it

or trust God in things?

Is there  personal gain

attached to their words?

Or are there selfless acts

with no microphones

applause or accolades?

Is it always about flesh and sin?

And the shortcomings

of everyone?

Or do they build you up

restore and  rebuild

the things the world

has torn down again?

Do they fan the flame

He died to give?

or quench the Spirit

with words of doubt?

Tearing apart

your faith

and hope?

Is Jesus Lord

Above all things?

His sacrifice enough

to pay for your sins?

Or is there more you

need to add?

More you should do

to be accepted

into His family?

Is there peace or confusion?

Is there rest or business?

Is there strife or joy?

Is there hate or love?

Is there arrogance

self-righteous

condemnation

fault-finding

gossiping

distractions

causing disharmony

and division?

Or is the fruit of their words

peace, harmony, and unity?

Dear Jesus,

Please help us to

test the spirits and

discern the hidden

things behind the

curtain as the

price is paid

The veil is torn by

Your blood alone Lord

and we come boldly

to Your Throne

to receive

grace and mercy

and Your help

in our time of need

 

 

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

My dear friends, don’t believe everything you hear. Carefully weigh and examine what people tell you. Not everyone who talks about God comes from God. There are a lot of lying preachers loose in the world.

Here’s how you test for the genuine Spirit of God. Everyone who confesses openly his faith in Jesus Christ—the Son of God, who came as an actual flesh-and-blood person—comes from God and belongs to God. And everyone who refuses to confess faith in Jesus has nothing in common with God. This is the spirit of antichrist that you heard was coming. Well, here it is, sooner than we thought!

My dear children, you come from God and belong to God. You have already won a big victory over those false teachers, for the Spirit in you is far stronger than anything in the world. These people belong to the Christ-denying world. They talk the world’s language and the world eats it up. But we come from God and belong to God. Anyone who knows God understands us and listens. The person who has nothing to do with God will, of course, not listen to us. This is another test for telling the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of deception. (1 John 4:1-6 The Message (MSG))

 (P.S. Yes, I have been kicked out of places – me and my big mouth.  I know, I need more healing here. What do you think?)