Tag: Job

Anxiety, behavior, God, Healing, Life, Religion and Spirituality

Learning to Deal with Grief – What Are Your Stressors?

I recently have been visiting many Doctors to figure out what is going on with me. One of them asked, ” What are your stressors?” It took me a few days to figure this out. My family life is good. What else could stress me? Then it hit me, I hate loss.

Here is part of the letter I sent my Doctor:

I have a hard time with loss ever since 2012. In Jan of 2012 my Mother in law passed away from Cancer. In Feb of 2012 I broke my leg and lost my job. In Sept of 2012 my Mom passed away from Cancer. In the spring of 2013 we went through a foreclosure due to my lost income. This has affected how I perceive the world.

This past year my sister in law was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She has undergone Chemotherapy and will start Radiation in May. My heart breaks for her and what she is having to go through.

My best friends have lost 2 of their children in the last 15 months. My heart breaks for them too. How do you go on after that? Lord, help us all.

In my job, we have a 60% turnover rate. I am losing friends all the time – they leave or go to another department. It makes us afraid to open up and get too close to each other. Too many people leaving all the time.

When my Peripheral Neuropathy started I had just got promoted. I couldn’t feel my legs while I was doing the training. It was 8 hours on my feet. I was afraid I was going to lose my job. I provide insurance for my family. I was afraid I would lose our insurance, so I pushed through the pain. Not a good idea. It really made things worse. I had to turn down the Training Position I was offered due to the inability to stand. This was a teaching position that I really wanted, and I lost that too.

I guess I am afraid of losing my job and losing my health this year.

We all face loss. We all grieve. I can tell you I really don’t like this whole process. I am not really a touchy, feely kind of girl. I find freedom when I write.

They say there are 5 stages to grief. I think I am stuck somewhere:

  1. denial
  2. anger
  3. bargaining
  4. depression
  5. acceptance

I think it’s #4 – Depression. I think I am just stuck here.  I have been on short term disability since November of last year. I have no idea if I will be able to go back to work. I have so many Doctors and so many tests. They have said I have this, that, and the other thing. Blah, blah, blah – I am so sick of this. Doesn’t matter. God is greater.

I want my friend’s kids back, I want my sister’s health back. I want my body back. I want my health back. I want that Training job. It just isn’t fair. And I have absolutely NO CONTROL over any of this! That’s probably what I am wrestling with.

How do you deal with loss?

Healing, Hurt in Church, Spirituality

Have You Been Considered?

Have you been considered? By God? Remember Job? Remember Joseph? Are you going through a test right now? I am. I believe that this is a test, it is is only a test. God is more than able to meet all of my needs in Christ Jesus. He knows what I need even before I ask. I have asked and I will receive. I know I am in my season of testing like Job. He was doing everything right. God even bragged on him to Satan.

I sit in the ashes with Job today. In the past three years I have lost my job, we have lost our house, we have lost loved ones, we have lost animals, even the van died. We used the last of our gas to get to Church yesterday. My husband has 12, yes 12 jobs now, that he has done and is waiting for payment on from various IT Buyers. All have been delayed. Have you been there? I know I am not alone here…

You find out who you are in the valley. And you find out who your friends are and who they are not. Some people will pray for you and some will laugh at you. We have had the ‘naysayers’ tell us that we are creating our own problems and it is all our fault. We have had ‘Christians’ brag about how much money they have and shame us for not coming to events that cost money. They have no idea the valley that we walk through as they point fingers. I have leaned much here in the valley. And yet, I know God is still good, and our ending will be better than our beginning. He promised!

“And though your beginning was small, yet your latter end would greatly increase.” (Job 8:7 AMP)

 

It is times like this that I remember the Word. And I cling to the promises that God has given us all. He is with us. He knows. And the gold we receive will be well worth the wait.

 

But He knows the way that I take [He has concern for it, appreciates, and pays attention to it]. When He has tried me, I shall come forth as refined gold [pure and luminous]. My foot has held fast to His steps; His ways have I kept and not turned aside. (Job 23:10-11 AMP)

 Then Job arose and rent his robe and shaved his head and fell down upon the ground and worshiped And said, Naked (without possessions) came I [into this world] from my mother’s womb, and naked (without possessions) shall I depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; blessed (praised and magnified in worship) be the name of the Lord! In all this Job sinned not nor charged God foolishly. (Job 1:20-22 AMP)

This morning I remembered Pastor Barnett and his sermon on “Have you been Considered?”

 

 

Sermon Notes:

 

It is great to be called by God, and then it is great to become obedient. and then God rewards you by touching the seeds that you plant, watering your seeds with your faith, and your trust and your belief in God and how you are reaping a harvest.

When God calls you He never leaves you nor forsakes you.

Denominations has nothing to do with the Body of Christ. That’s only something that the Devil uses to divide us. It’s all about the Name of Jesus.

The thing about Job is that he was a man that loved God. When we left the Devil’s Team and joined God’s Team, we are saying that we love God. Job loved God so much that God bragged on him.

Satan came up, God asked Satan, “Where you been?” God said, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is none like him in all the Earth.” We want God to put our name in the place of Job. Satan is still walking to and fro the Earth. Satan is still trying to kill, steal, and destroy. He is still on the job 24/7.

God brags on, “Job hates evil and He loves me more than anything.”

We could put our name in there, “______Loves me more than Desperate Housewives, more than Grey’s Anatomy, more than shoes…”

Satan says,”Yeah, I have seen Job, but because you have a hedge of protection I can’t get to him. He don’t love you like that just for nothing.” Satan says,”He loves like that because of all you give him, because of all the things You have blessed him with. Job is rich.”

God says, “To prove it to you Satan, I will take down my hedge.”

God will ALLOW it. God did not cause it, he allowed it. (We have the ability through prayer to change things for our brothers and sisters. A prayer from a friend will avail much. Prayer changes things.)

God says, ” Ok, I’ll allow you to touch Job’s stuff. The things I have given to Job I will allow you to have power over those things, but just don’t touch him.” Isn’t it great to know that God creates ALL things. No matter how much Satan wants to rule or tries to be a big man on campus’ he can’t do nothing unless God allows it.

Job gets bad news. A lot of times when we go through things It’s just a test. Not for God, but for us to know where we are in God. We don’t know how we will react until something comes up. Let a fire come and take everything that we have. Let a loved one get sick and bring them to being bedridden, Let something happen where you have no control over it, and then will you say, “God is good” ?

It ain’t nothing but a test.

Job’s children died, animals got taken away, some of his household died. But through all of that he still praised God. For the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

I will not put on you more than you can bear God says. We may go through pain and agony, God knows how much you can take and how much they can take. Sometimes with the loss of a loved one we can remember that they belong to God before they belong to us. God knows.

Job still prays, “God nonetheless.”

In the test we may ask, “Lord why me?”

And the Lord turns around and says, “Why not you? You say you’re my servant.  You say that you love me, You said that any way I want to use you I can use you. You say that you want to be a light for the world. You say that you said you want to save souls. You said that you want to keep people from going to Hell. You said you want everybody that you know to go to Heaven. You said these things.

“Why not you?”

 

 

 

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