Tag: letting go

Life Lesson Learned – You Can’t Change Someone Who Does Not Want to be Changed

I am sure you have met one, a person who absolutely did not want to change. You can love them all you want, give them all the tools for personal growth, but they are not interested. You may want the best for someone but they don’t want it for themselves. Life lesson learned – you can’t change someone who does not want to be changed. They simply have no vision. Without vision the people perish. Yep, that’s in the Bible, and it’s true.

I always thought if I loved them enough, they would change. Not always true. I have met some very stubborn people in my life that are happy just where they are. They do not have any desire to change anything. No amount of me pushing or prodding will make one bit of difference. Just because I think there may be more, they are happy to stay right where they are. That’s ok. I think I will stop trying to control them and just let it go!

Talk about freedom, wow! I finally don’t have to have everything figured out. That’s a load off this control freak shoulders, lol! For today, my focus has changed. I am going to let others make their own choices and I’m gonna focus on making my own. I can choose to let it go!

So now I have opened myself up to learning new things, to choosing a higher road. I have been on this path for the last year. First with becoming a Certified Peer Specialist and now with training for becoming a Certified Life Coach. Yes, I have been declared disabled by the Social Security System, but I’ll tell you what, I’m not giving up! I have used this time to refocus and build a vision for my future. You can too! Don’t give up, God is not done writing your story!

I signed up on Udemy for a number of classes. This month I am working on the Life Coach Certificate from Kain Ramsey. I admit it, I am only through the 4th video, and I’m hooked. Wow, I sure wish I would have met this guy sooner! I could have avoided so many detrimental things in my life. Oh well, lesson learned.

“We cannot make people change. We cannot want more for the people than they want for themselves. People are either ready to change, or a person will never change until the desire to change becomes greater than their desire to remain the same. People will generally never have a desire to change until they HAVE A VISION OF THEIR FUTURE that is GREATER then where they are today. ” – Kain Ramsay, internationally bestselling instructor, social entrepreneur

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Life is too Short to Sweat the Small Stuff

I have known 5 people who passed from this life and into the next over the past few months. It’s humbling. We always think we have more time here on planet Earth. I am learning how to let go of the negative people in my life and not to sweat the small stuff. It hasn’t been easy. It’s not a natural thing either, that’s for sure.

I had a disagreement with my boss this past week. I feel what she did was wrong. She doesn’t think so. I haven’t pursued it. I bit my tongue and didn’t say anything. But it affected me. I woke up at 4 AM four times is past week after having dreams I was fighting with her. It’s exhausting. At this point, it really doesn’t matter who was right and who wasn’t. It’s not a contest. I guess there will always be times that workers and management do not see eye to eye.

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Then I had to ask myself:

“How important is it Diana?”

“Will it really matter a year from now?” No.

“Does her option of me define me?” No.

“Does she want to help me succeed?” No.

“Do I have to let her opinion affect me?” No.

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I read this great story on a blog that helped me put it in perspective. It was a Buddha story, so don’t get all freaked out ok?

Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good.  There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha. When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly; he insulted him; he challenged him; he did everything he could to offend Buddha.

Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?”

The man responded with, “Well, what?”

Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”

The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it.”

Buddha smiled, “That is correct.  So if I decline to accept your abuse, does it not then still belong to you?”

The man was speechless and walked away.

Source: https://personalexcellence.co/blog/critical-people/

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How I am Learning to not Sweat the Small Stuff:

  • I don’t have to attend every argument I am invited to.
  • I don’t have to let the negativity of others in.
  • I can agree to disagree.
  • It’s a job, not who I am.
  • I don’t have to prove myself to everyone. I can just be me.
  • I can accept that not everyone will agree with me or even like me, that’s ok. We are each entitled to our own thoughts and opinions. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
  • God knows and God sees. He knows the truth. I can be free from the opinion of others. I can choose to trust Him to deal with the ‘sandpaper people in my life.
  • We all reap what we sow. I’m gonna plant my own seeds and take care of my own garden. I want good fruit, fruit that will last. I’ll plant kindness and peace, and hope.
  • God will repay her for her false accusations. I don’t have to.
  • I’ll pray for her. God says to pray for those who persecute you. Do I want to? No. But I know the only way I will be free of this is if I let go of it and let God take care of it. I trust God. He is faithful. He is true.
  • I’m going to refocus on the things I am grateful for, not the things I am not. If you have ever used a magnifying glass you know it magnifies what you look at. I am going to magnify the good things, not the bad.

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(all images from Pinterest)

Where did my normal go?

What do you do when your world turns upside down? When things change so quickly you can’t keep up with yourself? Where did my ‘normal’ go? We recently had some family changes and I am still struggling to find my new normal. We are helping a young adult lady get on her feet. She moved in with us for a time. I can’t really go into details yet, there are still pending charges. So that’s why Ms D hasn’t been blogging much.

Anyway, I didn’t realize how attached I had become to my schedule – to my ‘normal’. Until things changed. I am driving a lot now, taking her back and forth to work along with 2 other kids and school and sports. Now I know how my mom felt – the TAXI man! Oh well, normal is overrated anyway. I think I’ll just be me – everyone else is already taken!

“My whole life I wanted to be normal. Everybody knows there’s no such thing as normal. There is no black-and-white definition of normal. Normal is subjective. There’s only messy, inconsistant, silly, hopeful version of how we feel most at home in our own lives. But when I think about what I have, what I strived to reach my whole life, it’s not the biggest or best or easiest or prettiest or most anything. It’s not the Manor or the laundry closet. Not the multi-million dollar inheritance or the poorhouse. It’s not superstardom or unemployment. It’s family and love and safety. It’s bravery and hope. It’s work and laughter and imperfection. It’s my normal.”
― Tori Spelling

“My 30 year attempt (and subsequent failure) to reach “normal” has brought me to ponder whether “normal” even exists, or if it is nothing more than delusional grandeur based in the sounds of those sweet sirens drawing my ship in all the wrong directions.”
― Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.”
― Maya Angelou

“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.”
― Vincent van Gogh

Normal

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(Image Source: Pinterest)