From Abuse to Identity in Christ: You Are Not What They Said

Hi, my name is Diana. I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother. All things I am proud to call myself. I am also blessed to be a musician, keyboard player, and worship leader at our local church. I am grateful to use the gifts God gave me for His glory and His kingdom. What about you? What or who are you?

We often use “I am…” to describe ourselves and what we do. But what happens when you believe the enemy and agree with what he says about what you are?

In my past I was a victim of domestic violence. My husband at the time would call me various names. He would say, “You are dumb, you are stupid, you are nothing without me.” And on and on and on it went. Every day I was more and more discouraged. Fight after fight, name after name, etc.

The problem arises when I agreed with him, and start believing that I am who he says I am. I believed his lies for years. That was part of the mind games he would play with me. After years of hearing it, and being cut off from the world, I was lost. I didn’t know who or what I was anymore. I was such a people pleaser, and I thought if I just agreed with him there wouldn’t be another fight.

Long story short, God intervened and made a way out for me and my children. (See my testimony here) It was only after years of counseling that I was able to separate his words from who I was. I was not any of those things he called me. He lied. He was an instrument of the enemy, a liar and deceiver from the beginning.

Then I spent 15-20 years in 12 step meetings. I told myself “I am a child of an alcoholic, I am an affected family member,” and even “I am an alcoholic.” Nothing against those meetings, but really? Am I stuck with that label forever? I don’t think so.

According to the Bible, God doesn’t call me any of those things. He does not trap me in what someone else says about me, or a program that labels me to be tied to an addiction forever. God calls me free, and who the Son sets free shall be free indeed!

God calls me chosen. I am chosen. God calls me loved. I am loved. God calls me a child of God. I am a child of God. God calls me adopted. I am adopted into the family of Christ. God calls me forgiven. I am forgiven. God calls me more than a conqueror, not a victim. And so are you!

Let’s not let the words of others, or a program dictate to us who we are. Let’s declare who we are by what the Word God calls us!

God’s Word for You:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Romans 8:37

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; ¹⁰who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.” 1 Peter 2:9-10

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:4-10

My Prayer for You:

Dear Lord,

Forgive me for believing what other people have called me. I want to accept my new identity in Christ and believe what YOU say about me. Forgive me for believing that I was what a program called me. I believe that You will set me free from framing my life around what they said. I am not a victim. I can be healed, and I know Lord, You alone can help set me free, in Jesus Name!