Tag: ex

My Rant About Keeping My Mouth Shut With the Ex

After this weekend I know the Holy Spirit is helping me, lol! I did NOT say the first thought that came to my head. Now it’s been 11 years since we divorced. And I got full custody of the two kids due to his history of domestic violence. Now you think after all that I would know better. Why do I believe anything that guy says? Ugghhhh.

My son wanted to go visit his dad over the holiday break. Not so easy since the ex took off to KY to hide from the police. There is a warrant out for his arrest in the state of WI for 10 plus years of not paying his child support. Yeah, welcome to my world.

So in my travels here’s a few thoughts going through my head and what I did about it.

  1. Maybe I should just call the cops and have him picked up. He’s guilty.
  2. He says he has no money but shows up in a brand new rental car every time. He still lies.
  3. He promised to give me money for half of the cost of the school ring for my son. Didn’t bring it. Another empty promise. 
  4. He promised my daughter shopping money for Black Friday. Then he takes my son out shopping and gets my daughter nothing. What a jerk. 
  5. He said to meet halfway (4+ hours one way) and then is late – both times. I had to keep driving to meet them.  Disrespectful.
  6. He looks like crap. I wonder if he’s back to using drugs? Not a great role model for the kids.
  7. He wants to do this all over again at Christmas. Are you freaking kidding me?

  

What I actually did say:

1. Yes, I will drive halfway. I know my son wants to see his dad.

2. Oh, running late? I’ll drive a bit further.

3. Nice car.

4. So what about Christmas?

Yeah, I know. I must have rocks in my head right? No, I think God helped me keep my mouth shut and put my son’s wants and needs above my own. My ex will always be his father-no matter what I think or what I feel. I don’t have to like it. I can’t change it. And I can’t change him – never could. 

Thank you Lord for helping me keep my mouth shut and not making a scene in front of my son. Thank you Holy Spirit for guarding my mouth!

  

 

Psalm 141:3 

Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. 

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Another New Car?

Another new car? Seriously? The ex pulls in the driveway with yet another car. That’s the third one I’ve seen in the last few weeks. Yes, he is in trouble with the law – again. And yet I am court ordered to let him see our two kids. Sometimes he shows up. Sometimes he cancels. And here is mom, the master Piece Picker-upper. Yeah. You know how that goes. He promises one thing. Then cancels. And we moms get to pick up the pieces. All while keeping our mouths shut, because in the kids eyes – he is the Hero. Doesn’t make sense at all does it? Yeah, making $24/hour for almost  year and still not paying any child support. Moving on

I have to believe in God and that He will make things right. Otherwise I would be back in the ‘I love me jacket’ and living in the ‘rubber room’ again. That wasn’t fun.  Well, good meds – I’ll give them that.  But skip the Seroquel – it makes me drool!  Oh the things you learn along the way on this journey. Laugh or cry – seriously.

So I sit. And I wait. And I make the choice to choose to believe that God really does know the ‘bigger picture’ and I may not. My parents divorced. I know what it is like – to love them both in different places. To be caught in the middle. (see Second Fiddle)

I am in a much better place. God rewrote my story…and I am grateful. I know love today. God restored my soul!