I am so tired of Covid. I really thought this virus would be over with. The media is in a frenzy. I can’t watch it much anymore. It just fills me with fear, not faith. Yes I am one of those people with pre-existing conditions. Covid would not do well with me.
I confess, I was up worrying about it last night until 4 am. Do you ever do that? My head gets stuck in this circle of bad thoughts and I can’t seem to find my way out of the negativity maze. Sometimes I am afraid that I won’t wake up in the morning. Am I being overly paranoid? What do you think? I just have to talk about this. I have been holding it in for 9 months now.
Maybe it’s because this year has sucked for my health. Heart Attack, Heart issues, Treatment, Cardia Rehab, blah, blah, blah. I am to the point I do not even want to go to the Dr. for anything. There are just too many people out there. I find myself crawling back in my shell…
I hope and pray that the God of Healing would heal this land and cast down Covid. I know He can. I know He will. I just don’t know when, and I am fearful of all the people dying from a stupid virus. Here are some Words from God that I need to ponder on to remind myself that God is still on the Throne, and it will not be this way forever.
God’s Word for You
And He said to her, “Daughter,your faith has made you well.Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”- Mark 5:34 NKJV
He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds. – Psalm 137:3 NKJV
Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease [a]among the people. – Matthew 9:35 NKJV
Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. – James 5:14 NKJV
who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed. – 1 Peter 2:24 NKJV
My Prayer for You
I pray that you would be with all of your kiddos, including me, during this Pandemic. We know you see what is going on. Give us peace that surpasses understanding in our hearts. Let us lay our worries and our burdens on your cross. You paid the price for us to be healed and whole. Let it be done according to your Word, in Jesus Name.
We all have struggles in this crazy world. Sometimes hints just happen that make no sense. For a control freak like me it drives me crazy! I like it when things go good, life sticks to the -lan, and life is well with the world. I must admit, that is rarely the case in my life.
This year has proven that right? Whoever would have thought we would be fighting a virus like COVID, closing down schools and businesses in droves. Then there is the whole election nightmare. I will be so glad when it’s over!
It’s during difficult times like these that I have to remind myself that Jesus told me there would be troubles and He was my peace, not the crazy situation.
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” [My conquest is accomplished, My victory abiding.] – John 16:33 AMP
So what is a person supposed to do when they are fearful and panicked, and afraid to go out into the world these days? So,e days I am ok, and other days I just don’t want to go anywhere. How about you?
I am learning to trust God in the storm, and carry on. It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. I have found myself-laying a lot of games on my iPad and watching a lot of Netflix, lol!one thing I have determined to do is to be gentle with myself. Used to be a Perfectionist and would over-schedule myself to people please. Not today! I have let goof that terrible habit and given myself permission to just “be” with God and see what He is up to…
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 – AMP
I guess I don’t have to know how this whole thing is going to work out. I know the ONE who knows what is next. Today I choose to trust God, and follow Him, no matter what happens. God bless you my friends. Love you all!
It was last Tuesday, April 21, 2020. My husband’s 55th birthday. The day did NOT go as planned to say the least. I had been sleeping upstairs again. I had been vomiting for the last 3 nights and tried to sleep in the recliner. It wasn’t working. I had not been able to keep anything down that day, not even a cracker. It felt like an Elephant was sitting on my chest. I did what I always do, I ignored my symptoms for 3 days. I had fever, chills, shortness of breath, headache, etc. Sounded like all they symptoms of Corona Virus.
Finally on the morning of the 21st I asked my Husband to take me to the Dr. I couldn’t deny it any longer, something was wrong. I had to call the Dr. ahead of time. With the Covid-19 outbreak you can’t just show up these days. We drove up to Madison and went to see the Dr. My husband had to wait in the car. They don’t let any extra people in these days. Crazy times.
I answered a plethora of questions from the Nurse and Dr. both. They wanted to test me for Covid. I agreed, however the Dr. said if she did the test it would be weeks before I got the results back. She suggested I go the ER and they had a test that had results back in an hour. I went back to the car and asked my husband to bring me to the ER. Thank goodness he is a patient man! He had to wait in the car again.
They started with the Covid test. Gotta love that big Q-tip they shove up your nose, not! I thought it was gonna poke through my brain! Then the bloodwork. That was painful. I was pretty dehydrated at that point and my veins didn’t want to come out and play. It took 4 different people 2 tries each to finally find a vein. Needless to say, I still have a lot of bruises.
Then they hooked me up to the EKG Machine. It didn’t look good. They started the Oxygen and the IV fluids. Finally, getting somewhere I thought. They took like 15 vials of blood. Tested for everything under the sun.
After about an hour the Dr. came in. He said it didn’t look good. My Tryptophan levels were through the roof, my heart was not beating properly, and I wasn’t going to go home that day. I phoned my husband to break the news. He had been waiting in the parking lot 3 hours at this point. I told him to go home and that I didn’t know when they were going to let me go home. But it wasn’t going to be that day. Happy Birthday Bob. ;(
He drove home while the medical team kept working on me. I had an ultrasound of my heart done, a CT scan of my lungs, and another EKG of my heart. After all that, the Dr. called me. Yes, they call you now on the phone, along with the registration people and the Pharmacist. It’s really weird. The Dr. said I was having a NSTEMI Heart Attack. That’s funny I thought, it didn’t feel like a Heart Attack. I didn’t even know what that word meant. I had to Google it. Which may I say, is NOT a good idea when you are sitting in an Emergency Room!
After 8 hours, I was finally admitted to the Hospital and got out of the ER. I have to say, it was the most organized ER I have ever been to. They had teams of people helping patients andI would definitely go there again. I had never been to that Hospital in Madison, WI before.
It was a long night. Lots of trips to the bathroom with all the stuff they were pumping into me. They added Heparin and Nitro to the IV. Not a good time. The next morning they told me they wanted to do an Angiogram. I didn’t know what that was either. More Google. Great. Lets take a camera, shove it up your vein into your heart and take a poke around. The week was getting “better and better”, not! Nothing to eat or drink after midnight they told me. Okey dokey.
I dozed on and off. At about 12:30 I felt it. A huge anxiety attack was rolling over me. Too many things to process in one day. My heartbeat sped up, I started breathing faster. I rang the bell for the nurse. She asked me what I took for anxiety. I had just started a new script that week for Lorazepam. I only took one and it made me so dizzy I almost puked. I asked her to call the Dr. for something else as I didn’t want to be that dizzy again. She called the Dr. and he said no, we can’t give her anything new with the procedure going on in a few hours. I got Melatonin. Didn’t help at all. I stared at the clock until 3:30 am totally freaking out. Finally, I feel asleep – for an hour. Then it started all over again. It was one of the worst nights of my life.
Wed morning rolls around andfind out my angiogram isn’t until 11 am. That means no coffee! Miss D is not good at all without her morning coffee, just ask Bob! I wait it out and finally at 10 I get to go to the surgery prep area. Finally. Let’s get this show on the road! They don’t put you under, I had a drug that relaxed me and a local anesthetic for the vein. I was so tired by that point I fell asleep. Thank you Jesus!
I wake up an hour later and was in recovery. The Nurse brought me crackers and string cheese and decaf coffee. That was the best meal I have ever had! I was starving at that point. They wheeled me back up to the top floor of the Hospital. I did have a great view of Lake Monona!
The Angiogram looked good the Dr. said. No significant blockages so he didn’t have to do the balloon thing. Praise God! I ordered lunch and proceeded to stuff my face again, lol! The Cardiac Rehab Nurse came in and shared what I need to do to get better. Exercise, eat better, lower the alcohol, you know. She gave me a file and said I could go home that night between 5 and 6 pm! Yeah! I called Bob, and he was there at 5 pm. The Pharmacist filled my new scripts and brought them up. What a relief. I was so happy to get out of there!
So here we are, 6 days later. I still can’t believe it was a heart attack. It didn’t feel like one. Like I would know – I have never had a heart attack before, lol! I have started walking my dog Max everyday for 30 minutes. We are changing our diets slowly. And I have to see my regular Dr. sometime this week. It may be a phone call, we will see. I have to go back to the Cardio Unit in a month for follow up.
Here I sit. I trust You God to get me through this. I have no control over this, I have to believe that God does. I thought I had Covid, not a heart attack. Guess I’m just gonna take it day by day. Here are a few songs that helped me today. I heard them on Pandora while walking Max.
I BELIEVE by James Fortune & FIYA featuring Zacardi Cortez & Shawn McLemore
THIS IS A MOVE by Brandon Lake and Tasha Cobbs Leonard
These are crazy times in our world. This Corona Virus and Covid-19 is shutting down our country. I am from Wisconsin and they closed all our bars! I know right? I’m not a bar fly these days, but that’s serious in this state. In times like these, I need some Word to hold on to.
10 Bible Verses to Build Your Faith and Overcome Fear
“I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” Psalm 34:4
“Then Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?’” Luke 12:22-26
“And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God” Psalm 42:5
“So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’” Hebrews 13:6
“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” Proverbs 12:25
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. ” John 14:27
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
“The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid?” Psalm 27:1