Why we stay: trauma bonding

Why we stay: trauma bonding.

Wow, what a great post. I think that this is the hardest part for people who have not lived in abuse.  They don’t understand.  Trauma bonding. Stockholm Syndrome.

the psychological tendency of a hostage to bond with, identify with, or sympathize with his or her captor

Call it what you want, but it is not love. It was survival. No wonder we have such a hard time understanding what love is, and what love isn’t.


  1. Hi Diana – thanks for re-blogging, and I’m glad you found the post useful. I hope others do too. One of the hardest things about leaving an abusive relationship is this strong tie that pulls us back to our abuser. We call it ‘love’, but as you added – it’s mostly about survival. Trauma bonding lets us better understand our complex feelings and for friends and family to understand what we are going through, too. It’s also why leaving is an ongoing process!

Your Thoughts Are Treasures

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.