Tag: self fulfilling prophecy

Self Sabotage and Fear of Failure

What is one way to make sure you never succeed? One way to be sure you will never be happy? One way to ensure that you will never have enough? Do you have a fear of failing? Do you have a fear of succeeding?

REFUSING TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

Do you feel you have to be perfect?

Do you beat yourself up if you ever make a mistake?

Do you call yourself names?

You may be your own worst enemy.  YOU may be the one bringing yourself down the wrong path. And by refusing to receive the good things God has in store for you, you may undermine your own success.  Holding onto unrealistic expectations of yourself will bring:

  1. Self sabotage
  2. Self punishing
  3. Shame
  4. Guilt
  5. Fear of failure
  6. Fear of success
  7. Feelings of being ‘stuck’

And from Psychology Today

What is Self-Sabotage?

Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly.

So what do we do if we admit that this is a problem? Make a new choice – today.  Forgive yourself for unrealistic expectations.  We ALL make mistakes. And like Rafiki said in the Lion King

From: babyguardian.wordpress.com
From: babyguardian.wordpress.com
GOD’S PROMISE TO YOU:

“But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”(1 Corinthians 2:9 NKJV)

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13 NKJV)

 

MY PRAYER FOR YOU: 

Dear Lord,

We confess, at times we have been the ones refusing to receive good things from your hand.  Thank you Holy Spirit for bringing this out of the darkness and into the light.  Today is a new day.  We cast off our old self and put on our new self – the one that YOU have called good, chosen, loved, and redeemed.  We choose to receive all the good things that You have promised us. We forgive ourselves today, in Jesus Name.

And-theres-also-To-him

Featured Image Source: www.filemagazine.com,

Photo credit: babyguardian.wordpress.com

Bible Source: The Holy Bible, New King James Version Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.

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Stop Killing Yourself

I started reading Max Lucado’s new book, “You’ll Get Through This”.  In the beginning he is reminding us about the story of Joseph and how he got thrown into the pit.  I know that pit. I have been there.  The pit of depression, the pit of despair, the pit of betrayal, the pit of abandonment, the pit of poverty, etc.  I’ll bet you have been there too.  Stuck in a pit and can’t climb out by yourself.  Feeling like you are helpless and hopeless.

One of the things Max said about Joseph was:

“What do you have that you cannot lose?” He still had God’s call on his heart.

We forget this on the road to Egypt.  Forgotten destinies litter the landscape like carcasses.

We redefine ourselves according to our catastrophes.

“I am the divorcee, the addict, the bankrupt business person, the kid with the disability, or the man with the scar.” We settle for a small destiny: to make money, make friends, make a name, make muscle, or make love with anyone and everyone.

Determine not to make this mistake.  Think you have lost it all: You Haven’t.

“God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty – never canceled, never rescinded (Rom 11:29 MSG). Hear and Heed Yours.

Source: You’ll Get Through This, by Max Lucado, p. 18

And then, more manna for my day. Yesterday I read something on FB that made me stop and think.
“People who are hard on themselves cannot forgive themselves for the mistakes they’ve made in the past. Sadly, they end up punishing themselves, whether they know it or not.

Beloved, release your failings to Jesus today. Receive His gift of no condemnation and stop blaming yourself for the things that have happened in the past. If God has forgiven you, you ought to forgive yourself too!

Receive God’s complete forgiveness! This is the 3rd key of The Power of Right Believing.
#believing4″

(source: https://www.facebook.com/josephprince?ref=stream&hc_location=stream)

OUCH, OUCH, OUCH! Dang, that sword is sharp!

Self Fulfilling Prophecy:
Positive or negative expectations about circumstances, events, or people that may affect a persons behavior toward them in a manner that he or she (unknowingly) creates situations in which those expectations are fulfilled. In other words, causing something to happen by believing it will come true. (Source:  UrbanDictionary.com)
Source: Pinterest.com

So, in theory, my punishing myself and beating myself up for all my past mistakes was a self-fulfilling prophecy.  I was not, nor am I perfect, even though I tried.  (ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God). And my bad attitude would keep growing until I forgave myself.  I was holding onto this false sense of reality – a false sense of who I thought I was – And I defined myself by my catastrophes.

Hi my name is Diana and I AM a _________.  Fill in the blank.  Who should I be today? We do tend to be chameleons too in order to hide and please everyone else.  Well, I did.

For example, I thought I deserved to be punished, as that is what the ‘Abusers’ said. So even after I left and they weren’t around, I would punish myself.  You know, those ‘voices’ in your head – that play even after the person is gone.  Look in the mirror and call yourself ugly, fat, dumb, stupid…Old thought patterns and old beliefs – that had clouded my vision and needed to be kicked out.  They are not true!

Now I see why God says to renew my mind daily and take every thought captive. I don’t have to act on every thought.  I don’t even have to believe every thought.

Now I am not saying I have it all figured out. By no means, but I am pressing forward, forgetting the past and those things – to keep my eyes on the Prize – and go on.

 

“The main trouble with despair is that it is self-fulfilling. People who fear the worst tend to invite it. Heads that are down can’t scan the horizon for new openings. Bursts of energy do not spring from a spirit of defeat. Ultimately, helplessness leads to hopelessness.” —Norman Cousins

 source (http://craigtowens.com/2013/10/22/21-quotes-from-sometimes-you-win-sometimes-you-learn/)

Source: Pinterest.com
Source: Pinterest.com

I don’t know if this makes any sense to you, but to me it helped me want to renew my mind with more of God’s Word.  God says we are forgiven – I think I’ll accept that today.  God already has, all my sins and shortcomings are as far as the East is from the West, so why did I keep holding onto them and reminding Him?  And if Despair and Hopelessness are self-fulfilling, I think I will divorce those feelings too!

So what do you have that you cannot lose?