He Brought Me Flowers (may trigger – be safe)

I have had many abusers in my past.  I have lived in many shelters.  Who knew you could find freedom at the YWCA?  The last time I lived in a shelter with the kids (after I had left this husband 7-8 times already), was it – I was not going back.  I went through the 30 day program the YWCA offered.  Then I took part in a program called Project Breakthrough at the local Salvation Army.  They helped me with rent, and I took budgeting classes, cooking classes, and even a class on criminal thinking.  Yep, my thinking was messed up after all that.  I’ll save that for another post.

HE BROUGHT ME FLOWERS
You see him smiling, laughing all the time,
I know him later, when you’re not around.
Behind the smiles are the swear words,
he calls me each night.
When he turns into a demon,
and just wants to fight.
But he brought me flowers,
does he love me after all?
To make up for the bruises
that happen at night.
Broken and battered,
although that I am,
He brought me flowers,
does he love me after all?
So which man do I believe in today?
The lover by day, or the demon by night?
The hurt and the bruises he gives just to me.
What is it today Lord?  Why does he say that it’s me?
Will the pain ever end?
Will I ever be free?
From the demon I married,
before he kills me.
© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

9 thoughts on “He Brought Me Flowers (may trigger – be safe)

  1. Phew! Glad to see you are okay now (I was getting worried for a minute there!) 🙂 It IS hard to face the truth but living in denial is pretty tough too 🙁 Blessings!

  2. Wow. I almost felt a little funny “liking” this post. But it spoke to me and touched me. The poem is beautiful and really, really powerful.

    1. No worries Gail, all is well. I never thought I would share this part of my life, but there are many more women who need a way out of abuse. There is a way, and God does provide. I think the hardest part for me was to face the truth, and stop living in denial. What he did was wrong, and criminal.

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