Tag: Addiction

I Cut Today – a Poem Inspired by TWLOHA (Trigger Warning)

When I saw the Daily Prompt today, I knew I needed to share this poem.  I have known many cutters in my life. You can tell it in their eyes, not just the marks on their bodies.  From what I have learned, it is a way that someone in intense pain reacts in a moment of despair.  What do you do with that level of pain?  How do you express what you cannot put into words?  It may or may not turn into an addiction.   And there are triggers. I have been there.  Today, I am ok today but I have to share that I used to do this when I was in a very, very sick relationship. And I got help.  

If you know someone, or you have cut, please tell someone today. You are not alone.   Sharing how you feel brings the pain out of the darkness and into the light. There is healing.  It doesn’t have to stay this way – really…

I CUT TODAY
©2013 Diana Rasmussen

I cut today
Couldn’t cope
With life
Anyway

Welcome to
My Midnight
A moment of
raw passionate
despair

Followed those
Ugly feelings
Underground
While they
Whispered Sweet
Nothings in
My ear

Aren’t you
Tired of
Trying
To fit into
Your pretty
World of
Pretend?

Dancing with
That Demon
Death again
Paraded
around
Like he was
an old friend
Held out his
Hand and led
Me in

He says
Pour me
Just one
More round
And we
Will start
This song
And dance
All over again
While I swim
in hopelessness
With no
Way out

Should have
Shut that
liars mouth
Instead I
Fell for
It again

So no
I’m not
Healed yet
But I won’t
Quit I’ll
get him yet

Stuff all those lies
Down his own throat
Let him chew on his
Own words yet

At least
when I
bleed I
know I’m
still alive
And the battle
Isn’t over yet

“You’ll need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips. Airplanes and passports and new songs and old songs, but people more than anything else. You will need other people and you will need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing screaming invitation to believe better things.”
~ TWLOHA shirt

What is To Write Love on Her Arms?
To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and invest directly into treatment and recovery.

To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL in 2006 when our founder, Jamie Tworkowski, wrote a story about a friend who struggled with self-injury and addiction and the five days preceding her entry into treatment. The story, which was entitled “To Write Love on Her Arms,” went viral, and T-shirts were initially printed and sold as a way to pay for that friend’s treatment. Since then, TWLOHA has become a non-profit which serves as a bridge to hope and help for people facing the same issues. (Source: http://twloha.com/faqs/general)

 

FOR MORE HELP SEE: 

TWLOHA

PDF for Self Harm by decd.sa.gov.au

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Self Injuring and Cutting – the Mayo Clinic

Suicide Prevention Resource Center 

American Foundation Suicide Prevention

The Butterfly Project

Source: http://stopthepainnow.tumblr.com/thebutterflyproject

This is my Response for  Daily Prompt: Moment of Clarity

Tell us about a time you’d been trying to solve a knotty problem — maybe it was an interpersonal problem, a life problem, a big ol’ problem — and you had a moment of clarity when the solution appeared to you, as though you were struck by lightening.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us AWESTRUCK.

 

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Cry in the Rain

Cry in the Rain

(Dedicated to Mel)

©2013 Diana Rasmussen

From: flywithdreams23.blogspot.com

The lightning flashed
and thunder cracked
The day you died
the sky turned black

*
I cry in the rain
I scream in the thunder
Let go of the pain
before I go under

*
my heart withdrawn
trying to hold on
one day you’re here
next day you’re gone

*
Tears fall from my eyes
I never got to say goodbye

When You Love a Prodigal Son

When You Love A Prodigal Son

© 2013 D Rasmussen (another poem from a long ago, far away place)

I walk in the valley of shadows.
Hold onto a wing and a prayer.
My heart and my life is coming undone,
Because I love a Prodigal Son.
*
There are mountains of empty bottles,
and big piles of broken promises.
Another lie to cover things up;
Anything for just one more drink.
*
Break down the walls of my denial.
Shine light in the darkness of my soul.
Jesus, give me the faith to believe
that someday and somehow things will change.

Addictions

This is a poem I wrote back in 2003.  I used to go to a lot of 12 step meetings trying to “find myself”. As a result of that, I put a lot of labels on who I thought I was.  I was wrong. Today I let God define who I am.

These are my thoughts, and I do not intend to offend anyone going to a 12 step program.  I did for about 10-15 years. It helped me for a time.   I’m just saying, there is more. God can and will deliver us.  There is healing and deliverance in Jesus Christ.

ADDICTIONS

What if addictions were a lie?

What if the cravings – want to, got to have it,

weren’t reality?

What if the truth could set you free?

What is what is – is yet to be?

What if He’ll give you eyes to see?

The difference between lies and reality.

So stop, be still, He’s there.

Admit you can’t – He can.

He can – He will – He did.

He died for you and for me;

and paid the price for all eternity.

You’ve accepted that – confessed it too.

Now just be still.

Accept His Life –

He died to give it to you.

GOD’S PROMISE TO YOU:

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer.  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:16-17 NIV)
 They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony;they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. (Revelation 12:11)

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.  (2 Corinthians 10:3-5)

MY PRAYER FOR YOU:

Dear Lord,
You know who we are, we were made in Your image.  Forgive us for thinking we knew all the answers.  Open our eyes to see us from Your perspective today.  We cast down any high and lofty thought we have about ourselves that has risen to be King of our imagination.  You alone are King Jesus. Show us who we are Lord, in Jesus Name. 

Dead End Road

This song is for anyone who has ever loved someone with an addiction.  There have been many in my life…

DEAD END ROAD

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen
What do you do,
when he just walks out?
And goes back to the hell,
where you pulled him out?

What do you do,
when he just walks out?
And goes back to the hell,
where you pulled him out?

Booze and drugs have called to him.
and he’s followed them again.
As he’s flirting with death,
walking on a dead end road.
Yes he’s flirting with death,
walking on a dead end road.
on a dead end road.

(instrumental break)

He takes all the money,
and turns off his phone.
Disappears for days,
will he make it home?
He is dancing with the Devil,
On a dead end road.
Yes he’s dancing with the Devil,
on a dead end road.

How am I supposed to pay the bills?
And what do I tell the kids?
My life right now is shattered glass,
living on a dead end road.
My life right now, is shattered glass.
and I’m living on a dead end road.

What do you do,
when he just walks out?
And goes back to the hell,
where you pulled him out?
My life right now, is shattered glass. x3
and I’m living on a dead end road.

[Jesus said, “I tell you most solemnly that anyone who chooses a life of sin is trapped in a dead-end life and is, in fact, a slave. A slave is a transient, who can’t come and go at will. The Son, though, has an established position, the run of the house. So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through. (John 8:34-34 MSG)
Reach Out to God
“Still, if you set your heart on God
and reach out to him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You’ll forget your troubles;
they’ll be like old, faded photographs.
Your world will be washed in sunshine,
every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you’ll relax, confident again;
you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world,
you’ll be hunted out by many for your blessing.
But the wicked will see none of this.
They’re headed down a dead-end road
with nothing to look forward to—nothing.”  (Job 11:13 MSG)