Tag: funny

10 Quotes on Living in an Empty Nest

Our family has had 3 graduation this year – two from High School and one from College. Yes, we are blessed and so proud of all of our 6 kids. But, can I ask, “Now what?” We still have one son at home, at least for one more semester.  My son went to visit family for the next 2 weeks, so here my husband and I sit. We have 2 older kids who are doing amazing and are out on their own.

We have finished 3 Netflix series this week. I am just about caught up on laundry. I haven’t cooked in days. How do you people do this? This changing seasons things is very confusing for this Mama. I feel all flustered!

So I went looking for wisdom. Here are some great quotes about living in the empty nest!

10  Quotes on Living in the Empty Nest

  1. “It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.” —Ann Landers
  2. “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Bault
  3. “When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator. It’s like being the vice president of the United States.” — Erma Bombeck
  4. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.” — Agatha Christie
  5. “Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.” — The Dalai Lama
  6. “The day a child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise.” ― Alden Nowlan
  7. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.” ― Dorothy Parker
  8. “Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-rearing, they are unemployed.” ― Erma Bombeck
  9. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ― Phyllis Diller
  10. “All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them. ” ― — Erma Bombeck

 

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Christmas Isn’t Always a Hallmark Card – 10 Funny Ideas

Sometimes I look at those cards. You know the pretty ones with the happy families on the front? My life just doesn’t look like that. No snowmen – it’s like 55 today in WI. No sleigh rides, no happy horses. Where do they get these ideas? Who really lives like that anyway?

Maybe I should start my own card line. Ones for real life.

10 Funny Ideas for Real Life Christmas Cards:

  1. Let’s have multiple Christmases this year to make sure everyone can come. Yeah, splitting time with the ex’s just makes the Holiday more Merry!
  2. Do I really have to buy a present for the ex from the kids? Does it have to be nice?
  3. Another Holiday? Another family fight? Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
  4. Spiked punch or unspiked? Silver bells, silver bells…
  5. Bills or presents – that is the question!
  6. Are you coming unglued? Yes, me too – let’s try some tape.
  7. I can’t believe I forgot to buy a present for…let me go find something quick.
  8. Am I a Redneck if I re-gift things I didn’t use from last year?
  9. Where’s that darn tape again? Ugggh!
  10. If I hear one more Christmas Carol I am going to lose my mind. Oh yeah, I think I already wrapped that up!

 

 

Here’s to the rest of us – with a bit of humor thrown in to keep our sanity! Don’t worry – God knows us and loves us, humor and all. Think of the big job He has with all his kiddos. Now that is a handful! God bless us everyone!

 

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(All images from Pinterest. Maxine Cartoons are by Maxine.com)

I Can’t Believe I Stepped in That!

Yep. It’s Monday. Let me share a funny story – a true story. In fact I got to experience it this morning.  Yesterday was our “Opa Sunday”. Once a month or so we have Bob’s dad and My Dad and Stepmom over for lunch.  This way the kids get to hear the stories of what life was like when they grew up. Kind of a family tradition thing.  Between Bob and I we have 6 kids – some are grown and out on their own. Yesterday we had 3 of the 6 here.  Lots of laughs, burgers, a bottle of wine, and My dad brings his own beer. And they each bring their dogs. So we have 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 bunnies and all of us. Usually we start with cheese and crackers. Yesterday’s menu was hot dogs and burgers. And all the dogs fight for treats – all day. Good times, good stories, good company. It was a fun day, doggies and all.monday dog 2

So about four in the morning our dog Emmy starts barking her head off. And then we hear a knock on the door. My husband comes downstairs and then comes back upstairs and says, “Hey, there is someone outside on a cell phone.” He puts a shirt on and I race downstairs. Now we have teenagers at home, so I’m thinking, “Oh man, what kid is here now?” and “What kid of mine is outside talking outside on the phone at 4 AM?”  Yep Ms D. is pumped.

My first stop was each of the kids room. I turn on the lights and yell, “Who is outside and who are you talking to?” Both are in bed asleep.  I get the ‘”huh?” as they sit up in bed dazed. Ok, they are safe so I am off to the front door.

So I run into the kitchen, keep in mind I am still in my pj’s and I am barefoot. And then I feel it – something warm and squishy in between my toes. “S#*t!” I say out loud.  I can’t believe I stepped in that! Then I almost trip over the dog trying to get to the door.  I open the door wide enough to get myself outside and push the dog back so she doesn’t bite whoever this is.  There is a man on our porch, probably about 50 holding a box. Not looking good here.

cat

My response – ok, not the most Christian thing to say, but keep in mind I am not awake and I have dog poop in between my toes!  “Who in the f*^k are you?”  His eyes get real big. “Uh, Uh, I have a package for Rasmussen – a delivery.”  I turn myself around, realizing for the first time I am outside talking to a stranger in my pj’s with dog poop in between my toes.  I turn around, and don’t say a word. I open the door, kick the dog back (yes, with that foot) and by that time Bob is downstairs and I say, “Hey, your freaking  part is here for the job today.”  He goes outside and gets the part from the dude. I think I scared the crap out of him, and the dog, lol!

Happy Monday!

bunny