Sitting in the Dust waiting for My Miracle

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Remember Job? I can relate to this guy lately. I wrote about my heart attack here on 4/21/20. That was 6 days in the hospital. 4 weeks later I had another heart episode on 5/29/20 and had to go back to the Hospital. That was another 4 days. That’s 10 days out of 30 that I spent in the Hospital.

It was kind of a blur. Lots of IV’s, lots of medicine, and lots of falling asleep in the middle of a sentence! Very little sleep, they woke me up every hour for vitals and shots. It sucked!

Praise God I am home now. I qualified for Home Health so I have a visiting Nurse, Social Worker, Physical Therapist, and Occupational Therapist that all come to my home to help me get stronger. I’m still using my walker, that sucks, but at least I don’t fall down.

So back to Job. Here’s the verse: “Now there was a day when the sons of God (angels) came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan (adversary, accuser) also came among them.The Lord said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Then Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming around on the earth and from walking around on it.”The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered and reflected on My servant Job? For there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God [with reverence] and abstains from and turns away from evil [because he honors God].”Then Satan answered the Lord, “Does Job fear God for nothing?Have You not put a hedge [of protection] around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands [and conferred prosperity and happiness upon him], and his possessions have increased in the land.But put forth Your hand now and touch (destroy) all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face.”Then the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, all that Job has is in your power, only do not put your hand on the man himself.” So Satan departed from the presence of the Lord.” – Job 1:6-12

I guess I’ve been considered. Never thought I would have a heart attack at 56 but here I am. I admit it, I lost it. When I got home at the end of April I was in shock. I froze. I was paralyzed. All the faith I thought I had shriveled up like a raisin. My friends tried to reach out to me and I didn’t even answer the phone. I had given up.

I sat in the dust like Job. I cried every day. I really thought I would just wake up dead. Fear had gripped my heart and was strangling me like a snake. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read my Bible, nor anything else for that matter. I couldn’t type, I kept messing up the letters. So I sat in the dust and cried and waited.


My husband and Pastor and friends prayed for me. I could feel it. Occasionally there were glimpses of light that came through my broken body and soul. They carried me and lowered me through the roof of despair and put me right in front of Jesus. I don’t think I would be here without their prayers.

Here I am 10 days later after the last hospital discharge. And I’m ready to get up! I have seen the Home Health Nurse, Occupational Therapist, Physical Therapist, and Social Worker. I have also started Cardiac Rehab. I can’t believe all of the people God has put in my life to help me. My husband is amazing. He is so supportive I feel like I’m in a Hallmark movie. My kids have become my cheerleaders checking on me all the time. My tribe of girlfriends have rallied by my side and encourage me all the time. I truly am blessed.

So the point of my story? I may have been planted in the dirt but this seed is breaking through the soil of infitmity and growing more and more into the plant God made me to be. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. I am still fighting for my life here. But I am not alone. My God is for me, who can stand against me?

Here are the verses that I have used to exercise my faith during this trial. I hope that if you are going through a trial you will hold on to these in your heart and speak them to God. Then, like me, we have to give God a minute to do what He said He would do. God is faithful. Some I have paraphrased

FAITH POWER VERSES

Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.

If God is for me who can stand against me?

God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.

The blood on your houses will be a sign for you. When I see the blood, I will pass over you. No deadly plague will touch you when I strike Egypt.
(I put the blood of Jesus on the doorpost of my heart so God will not destroy my and the enemy will pass over me.)

The devil has come to kill, steal and destroy. But I have come to give you life, and life more abundantly

My Deliverer is coming, my Deliverer is standing by

God will never leave nor forsake me

He who the Son sets free is free indeed.

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
(Hide me under the shadow of your wings Lord so the enemy can’t find me.)

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.
(Because I love You, You will protect me and show me Your Salvation)

Heal me Lord and I will be healed. Save me Lord and I will be saved.

The Lord bless you, and keep you [protect you, sustain you, and guard you];The Lord make His face shine upon you [with favor], And be gracious to you [surrounding you with lovingkindness];The Lord lift up His countenance (face) upon you [with divine approval], And give you peace [a tranquil heart and life].’ – Numbers 6:24-26

One comment

  1. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable post and how you are fighting the feelings of despair in your valley moments.
    The verses you mentioned are really good to remind us how God is with us and for us.
    Glad that you are home and I pray for the Lords hand to continue to be on you as you recover. May you lean on Him and find your strength, comfort, joy and your peace in Him.

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