dianarasmussen

She Carries Her Secrets

The Daily Prompt is about Secrets. I wrote a song about SECRETS not too long ago.  There are so many things we try to bury.  Pretend they never happened.

She carries her secrets around in a box, hides them in darkness keeps them locked…

Shoves the box under the bed, some things are not meant to be said.

~Diana Rasmussen AMETHYST SHARDS

Take those things we don’t want to talk about, shove them in a ‘box’ in our hearts, and hope they never come up again.  I think they grow in there. Yep, the more I tried to stuff in there, the worse it got.  And the sicker I got.  And the more I wanted to hurt myself and others. Not a healthy way to deal with things.

Eventually I found people I could trust to share my ‘box of secrets’ with.  Yes, I had to go to counseling and pay someone to listen. I have gotten ‘help’ more than once in my life.  Different counselors, depending on what state I was living in at the time. Yet, I have to say, overall my experience was good.  Having someone to share these things with helped me.  I have heard it said that you are only as sick as your secrets. I believe that.

The more secrets I held in about myself, the more I lived in fear and shame.  And shame will haunt you like no other ghost can.  It will condemn you everytime you look in the mirror.  That shame may have been put there by something that you have done, or even, what someone has done to you.  I had a lot of those secrets.  Abuse, Domestic Violence, lets just say that things happened that shouldn’t have happened.  It wasn’t right.  Those were the things I had to let out and share with someone I trusted. And once I did, I was free of them.

Finally after years I found a Christian Counselor, she was the easiest one to talk to.  Her perspective was different.  I could talk about God there.  I have shared a few secrets with some of the Pastors in my past. Some, not all.  God knows what I have lived through.  And I know He loves me and forgives me.  He was there.  

Amethyst Shards
©2013 Words and Music by Diana Rasmussen and Chameleon
Mixed/Mastered by Protilius Productions

She carries her secrets around in a box

hides them in darkness keeps them locked

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

rattling around like skeletons

Amethyst shards

are falling down like

houses of cards

Shoves the box under the bed

some things are not meant to be said

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

are falling down

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

are falling down

Buries her memories stuffs all her pain

hoping they’ll never come up again

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

rattling around like skeletons

Amethyst Shards are falling down

like houses of cards

Oh love is the key that unlocks 

Yes love is the key that unlocks

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

are falling down

Amethyst Shards in the depths of her heart

are falling down

Fragments of herself locked in darkness

Amethyst Shards falling down

like houses of cards

Daily Prompt: Hear No Evil

Tell us about a conversation you couldn’t help but overhear and wish you hadn’t.

16 comments

  2. Beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing. I, too, am blessed to have found a Christian counselor who quickly confirmed your eloquent words, “we are only as sick as our secrets.” Once she helped me reveal what I thought was so deep, dark and terrible I no longer feel sick. Vulnerability is courageous and liberating–you seem to have accomplished both with grace, poise and compassion. I look forward to reading more.

    Reply

  3. Glad you found someone where your secrets will brought out to the light. Ms. D. a technical question. How did you convert your audio music that I can be uploaded to WP? Lovely song. When I download this music it becomes a different file.

    Reply

    • This widget is from SOUNDCLOUD. There you can discover indie music from all over the world. Under each track at Soundcloud they have a ‘share’ button. From there you can choose WP or HTML format. Then it’s just copy and paste. I’ll have to download it and see what happens, thank you.
      Have a great day Seeker, Diana

      Reply

      • Sorry, Ms. D. What I meant was first your song is recorded. The recorded song what kind of file it is so that it can be uploaded in WP?

        Reply

        • I record in .wav and .mp3. Each site has different parameters. Looks like WP will accept either here.

  6. Like you, I had to share my secrets with a counselor a long time ago. She was an amazing woman who literally gave me back huge chunks of myself until I was whole once more. She was a Christian too and implored me to try going to church again, and I did. Now I’m walking with the Lord on a daily basis. In fact I’ve just written a post about my journey back from that dark point in my life. I’m so glad we both found someone to share our secrets with. Blessings, Natalie

    Reply

    • God is so good. I’ll have to come over and read more. I left church for a while too. Thank you beautiful sister 😉

      Reply

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