Category: Activism

12 Inspiring Quotes for Our Brave Soldiers and Fallen Heros

To all of our soldiers and fallen Heros – we remember you!

 

Soldiers

Original Article on 12 Inspiring Quotes for our Brave Soldiers and Fallen Heros

 

Advertisements

Snow White Darkness – NaPoWriMo Day 4

This is a poem that I turned into a song that describes what it is like to live in Domestic Violence. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men live like this everyday. And also a video that some of my friends did with CSpan about helping those living in abuse. Help us Lord to break the yoke of oppression in their lives and shine Your Light into their darkness, in Jesus Name.

His Castle

SNOW WHITE DARKNESS

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar
like steam on the glass, shame covers her past
the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds
His worst fantasy, her reality
he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things
a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion
He veils perversion, forcing her coercion
her body he takes, while she flies away
unbelievable, she’s invisible
love is the shadow, that darkens her window
she’s crying for help, to escape her hell

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog
hates her behavior, craves one to save her

smothered by control, a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
her tears rolling mist, proof she exists
in snow white darkness

 

“Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
To loose the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the heavy burdens,
To let the oppressed go free,
And that you break every yoke?

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?

 Then your light shall break forth like the morning,
Your healing shall spring forth speedily,
And your righteousness shall go before you;
The glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer;
You shall cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’ (Isaiah 58:6-9 NKJV)

 

 

This is also the title of my book – SNOW WHITE DARKNESS – Smothered by Control.  It contains my journal entries from when I was living in abuse. Thank you Lord for deliverance for me and my children!

Snow White Darkness Cover

 

And here is the Album – available from GooglePlay. Thank you in advance for your love and support!

Snow White Darkness Cover

“And now for today’s prompt (optional, as always). Love poems are a staple of the poetry scene. It’s pretty hard to be a poet and not write a few – or a dozen – or maybe six books’ worth. But because so many love poems have been written, there are lots of clichés. Fill your poems with robins and hearts and flowers, and you’ll sound more like a greeting card than a bard. So today, I challenge you to write a “loveless” love poem. Don’t use the word love! And avoid the flowers and rainbows. And if you’re not in the mood for love? Well, the flip-side of the love poem – the break-up poem – is another staple of the poet’s repertoire. If that’s more your speed at present, try writing one of those, but again, avoid thunder, rain, and lines beginning with a plaintive “why”? Try to write a poem that expresses the feeling of love or lovelorn-ness without the traditional trappings you associate with the subject matter.”

napofeature2

12 Inspiring Quotes for Our Brave Soldiers and Fallen Heros

soldiers

12 Inspiring Quotes for our Brave Soldiers and Fallen Heroes

  1. “It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.” – Robert F. Kennedy
  2. “A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.”—Joseph Campbell
  3. “We sleep safely at night because rough men stand ready to visit violence on those who would harm us”. —Winston Churchill
  4. “Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
  5. ” It doesn’t take a hero to order men into battle. It takes a hero to be one of those men who goes into battle.” – H. Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr.
  6. “Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.” —Douglas MacArthur
  7. “The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave.” —Patrick Henry
  8. “Live for something rather than die for nothing.” —George Patton
  9. “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
  10. The soldier is the Army. No army is better than its soldiers. The Soldier is also a citizen. In fact, the highest obligation and privilege of citizenship is that of bearing arms for one’s country.” —George S. Patton Jr
  11. “Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened.” – Billy Graham
  12. The soldier above all others prays for peace, for it is the soldier who must suffer and bear the deepest wounds and scars of war.”– Douglas MacArthur

soldier

 

Related Posts:

 

His Castle – CSPAN VIDEO

HIS CASTLE was a project that was made by a group of friends in Florida making a CSPAN Student Cam Video on Domestic Violence in order to help spread awareness to the community. This was created by Ivy Leung, Diana Proenza, and Nicole Romeu, students from Terra Environmental Research Institute.

“With the perspectives of advocacy, health care and legal professionals, we stress the crimes of domestic violence and consider the effectiveness of the Violence Against Women Act passed by the legislative branch on the victims of our community.”

 

(Click on the picture to watch the Video on Viddler)

 

His Castle

 

They contacted me and asked to share one of the quotes from my book SNOW WHITE DARKNESS for their narrative video. Thank you Ivy, Diana, and Nicole – for an amazing video of the plight of the Domestic Violence Victim and the effect of the Violence Against Women Act. Great job spreading awareness!

 

To Purchase your copy of SNOW WHITE DARKENSS, my book and personal journey out of Domestic Violence click below:

Snow White Darkness

 

 “Smothered by control
a tormented soul
trapped in his castle
Her tears rolling mist
proof she exists
in Snow White Darkness”

~ Diana Rasmussen, Snow White Darkness

7 Reasons to Let Go

7 REASONS TO LET GO:

bicycle

  1. We cannot move forward until we do. We are stuck in limbo. We cannot go back and change our pasts. We do not always see justice done. But take heart, God promises to repay.

  2. If we do not forgive others for their wrongs and ourselves for our wrongs how can we be open to new things that God wants to give us? We can’t receive if our hands are full of our old baggage.

  3. We can’t change what happened. There is no rewind button in our lives. No remote control. In order to finish our story we must push ‘play’.

  4. Unforgiveness is one of the leading causes of sickness and illness. It will affect our bodies in ways that will hurt us.  It’s not worth it.

  5. We need to stop renting space to bad tenants.  The past is the past. Let’s bury it. Remember the good and move forward.

  6. Despite all the pain, it got us here. We are alive. We survived. And actually, it made us into who we are today.  We are stronger for it.

  7. Life is lived forward. More life, more love, more restoration. Everything the enemy has stolen from us God promises to restore double!

 

One of the best books I have read that has helped me with this is:

A CRY FOR JUSTICE by Shelley Hundley, a former Atheist

 

The forgotten face of Jesus as judge and advocate

The daughter of American missionaries, Shelley Hundley was born in Colombia, and grew up on the campus of a seminary that trained leaders to serve in what was one of the most violent nations in the world. After suffering abuse at the hands of a minister in the community, she turns from God, angry and confused that He could allow this to happen.

In A Cry for Justice, Hundley uses her story as a backdrop to show how she found healing from the pain, guilt, and shame of the abuse she endured as a child and how she came to know Jesus in a new way: as a righteous judge who fights for His people and takes upon Himself the burden of our injustices and pain.

The story of Shelley Hundley’s journey from bitter atheist to wholehearted lover of God is unique. Yet what she learned on this journey is relevant to every person who has ever been hurt and has silently wondered, “Who will fight for me? Who can make the wrong things right?”

Discover how Jesus would change your world today.

 

 

This is my response to the Daily Post today:  Unequal Terms

Did you know today is Blog Action Day? Join bloggers from around the world and write a post about what inequality means to you. Have you ever encountered it in your daily life?
(Don’t forget to tag your post with “Inequality” — or #inequality on Twitter — so that other participants might find it.)

 

(Photo Sources: Pinterest and codybateman.org)

In His Glass

Here is a song/poem I wrote about my life lately. Yes, we went to court – again. And no – deadbeat dad is still not paying child support. I know I am not the only one here who deals with this. And yes, God is good and He has made up for all things. But I have to admit, it get’s frustrating. The ex went to jail for 5 days after getting picked up for not wearing a seat belt. There was a $24,000 bond on his head at the time as he decided to blow off the last two court appearances. Judges don’t like that.

So, after 5 days and only one payment this year the Judge asked me what I thought. Yes, the ex has been working – a union job with great pay and benefits. And yet he still chose not to pay his child support. My answer? Well, not what you would think that’s for sure. Must be a God thing. I asked the Judge to show him MERCY and give him the opportunity to work. Yep, I did.

The Judge said ok then and let my ex free without paying anything. He gave him a 90 day stay – which means he has 90 days to do the right thing. We even lowered the amount to make it easier. And here we are a month later – no child support. Seriously? Join me in praying for the ex will you? Not that I want to, but God tells me I have to. “Pray for your enemies.” And “Vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay” And then there is the one about “show mercy as I have shown you mercy.” And I really think my kids would fall apart if their dad went back to jail for the 3rd time. Ugggh…

So here I sit. And here I write. And pour out my troubles before my God. Thank you all for your love, your support, and your prayers. You hold me up when I can’t stand it anymore. You see every single mom out there trying to make it without help is a WIDOW. Yes, they got left, despite all their good intentions, their promises, and their attempts to make things work. And every child of divorce is ORPHANED. They did not ask for it either. And it is not their fault.   You don’t have to move them in but could you help them out a bit? Why do we kick the people who are down and judge the wounded?

James 1_27Justice, what happened to Justice? Seriously, this whole child support system is broken. I think we should write some new laws for all the moms and kids out there who get left holding the bag – and all the bills. Deadbeat dads should not get to sit in jail with no bills, all their meals made for them and play cards all day. This is not working. How about some new laws for offenders? Let’s put the deadbeat dads to work on a farm or something, pay the moms so the kids can eat and keep the lights on, and let them work off their debt. Teach them how to work. Fix it, instead of giving them a place to run and hide from their responsibilities. Yes, people can change. But what is the incentive to do the right thing when you can get a free ‘jail-cation’?

My challenge to all of us this week – help a single mom. Money, gas, groceries, whatever. Just help someone with something. Pay it forward.

But then God surprises me. He sends someone. To stand alongside you when you are down. Not to kick you, but to help you up. I am grateful for the Samaritans that God has placed in my life and my husband’s life. Thanks Jeff – you show me what God’s love looks like. We all need help. Will you reach down and help another man/woman/child up this week?

In His Glass

Copyright 2014 Diana Rasmussen

Mommy needed a break
she had to get away
they left their house
her perfect family up in flames
Like a broken mirror
it’s shattered glass

Every girl wants her daddy to be the hero
Every boy believes he’s Superman
As God collects their tears as prayers
He fills His glass

Lawbreaker, rebel
Daddy’s refusing to change
Refusing to pay
cops took him away
They see him Saturdays
touch him through the glass

Every girl wants her daddy to be the hero
Every boy believes he’s Superman
As God collects their tears as prayers
He fills His glass

Daddy kept drowning his sorrows
Drinking his tomorrows
“Cheers!” he raises his glass,
Says, “just one more round”
will he ever turn around?

Every girl wants her daddy to be the hero
Every boy believes he’s Superman
As God collects their tears as prayers
He fills His glass

(all images from Pinterest)

Stop Carrying Secrets-Amethyst Shards

This song came to me for a contest last year. It is a collaboration between a few musicians on Broadjam. Sometimes I use my gift of music to bring awareness to a situation that needs to be changed. This song talks about the secrets we carry around – like skeletons. 1 in 4 women are affected by domestic violence. Although she may not say it. She may be afraid to talk about it, I was. Because then it is REAL.

 

from www.bloglovin.com
from www.bloglovin.com

Amethyst Shards

©2013 Words by Diana Rasmussen
Music by Chameleon
Produced/Mixed/Mastered by Protilius Productions

 

She carries her secrets
around in a box
hides them in darkness
keeps them locked

Amethyst Shards
in the depths of her heart
rattling around
like skeletons

Amethyst shards
are falling down like
houses of cards

Shoves the box
under the bed
some things are not
meant to be said

Amethyst shards
in the depths of her heart
are falling down
like houses of cards

buries her memories
stuffs all her pain
hoping they’ll never
come up again

Amethyst Shards
in the depths of her heart
rattling around
like skeletons

Amethyst shards
are falling down like
houses of cards

love is the key that unlocks
Yes love is the key that unlocks

Amethyst Shards
in the depths of her heart
are falling down
Amethyst Shards
in the depths of her heart
are falling down

fragments of herself
locked in darkness

Amethyst shards
falling down like
houses of cards

 

 

Image Source: http://www.edytaandco.com/2013/03/interior-design-accessories-amethyst-gemstone-box/

Jezebels Are Androgynous Narcissists

Jezebels are Androgynous Narcissits – being both male or female – hermaphroditic.  This same spirit could live in a man just as much as it could live in a woman. It is not about being male or female.   So ignore the “he” or “she”  gender in the images below.

The Psychological Community calls them Narcissists.  

The Church Community calls them a Jezebel.

But I believe they are one and the same.  

Call them what you will.

It’s all about power and control.

 

According to Psychology Today here is the definition of a Narcissist:

 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration-all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships. People who are narcissistic are frequently described as cocky, self-centered, manipulative, and demanding. Narcissists may concentrate on unlikely personal outcomes (e.g., fame) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment. Related Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic. Narcissism is a less extreme version of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Narcissism involves cockiness, manipulativeness, selfishness, power motives, and vanity-a love of mirrors. Related personality traits include: Psychopathy, Machiavellianism.

 

 

And here is a Definition of the Jezebel Spirit from an Article by Discerning the Truth:

 

  • They gain power by diminishing others. It is causes them a rush “win” over someone. They manage to get in positions of authority, and are difficult to displace, once there.
  • They are controlling, manipulative, bossy.
  • They can either be war-like in their personalities, so that they are intimidating, or so sweet, timid, charming and charismatic, they are able to fool and recruit others to join them.
  • The spirit is critical of others, vicious to the point of blood thirsty as to reveal weaknesses.
  • They are never wrong in their own eyes; they are unable to apologize.
  • They recruit others to rally behind their charges against their victims. They act to persuade recruits, and do not give up this activity until the recruits are won over. If the potential recruits do not cooperate and accept their position they will grow angry.
  • They are by nature narcissistic. While they tend to be oversensitive, they have no concern for the feelings of others. They are not sympathetic about their victims, and tend to play the role of victim themselves, in order to gain sympathy. This way the real victim is left stranded, and opposed by others if they ask for help. Being the center of attention really pleases them.
  • They lie, and they believe their own lie. Avoiding the truth, or intentionally acting to withhold truth is part of a false picture presented to others.
  • Impulsive, disorganized, failure to plan ahead. Life is often chaotic and family in their care is in disarray.
  • The have a lack of remorse after hurting someone. They can justify the harm and remain smug about their victory.
  • They prove to be consistent irresponsibility, unpunctual, undependable. Will make rash promises, but cannot be trusted to fulfill.
  • They often express irritability, aggressiveness (open or subtle), and can be quick tempered.
  • This person is an “outlier” or non-conformist, they have their own ways.
  • Psychological counseling will not help, since they deny their condition.
  • They may claim religious sentiments, but are found very superficial in spiritual disciplines. Places emphasis on emotions over depth of condition.
  • These women tend to control their men with sex. And they pick passive men (Ahab’s) so they can dominate them.
  • They are usually married but often end up divorced. They may entertain affairs. If single, can be bisexual or promiscuous.

 

Jezebel Spirit

 

 

Kinda creepy huh? I found these images on Pinterest and I was struck with how it is the same. In my opinion – it’s all about power and control here.  Same as with Domestic Violence.  One person trying to use and abuse another.

Let us recognize the warning signs in all our relationships.

narcissist 3

 

We are not stupid.

We are not crazy.

That is just him/her trying to shift the blame and attention away from their bad behavior.

I had to ask myself, “Is this relationship healthy?”

I had to have someone I could trust to bounce my ideas off of. I saw a qualified Christian Counselor. It helped me make some life changing choices.  And today, I am grateful.

What about you? Do you need help?

Reach out today – you are not alone.

 

narcissist 5

 

 

 

I Told Myself This Would Never Happen Again

I told myself this would never happen again. After getting out of the last abusive relationship, I vowed to myself that I would never let someone treat me like that ever again.  And yet, not knowing how sick I was – the next relationship was more abusive than the last.  The stakes were higher, the abuse was deeper, and let’s just say there are a lot of sick folk out there.  I want to share this part of my story today.  I see other women going from man to man, from abuse to abuse, looking for the next Prince Charming.  And it hurts. It hurts to see it.  Because you know the price you paid to get out. And you don’t want to see another woman/girl hurt.

I wasn’t born stupid. Really. Intelligence has nothing to do with it.  I was deceived. I believed all the pretty little lies he said. I wanted a picture perfect marriage. I wanted the white picket fence.  Who doesn’t? I mean it’s not like you know the end from the beginning.  Hey if I knew then what I know now, my answer would have been, “NO way, not in a million years!”

After relationship upon relationship with Abusers I was forced to look in the mirror.  No I did not ask for it. No I did not want it, but lets face it – my ‘people’ radar was broken.  I was trusting people that were not safe. I was putting myself in a position to be hurt – again and again.  And I had to make a new choice. A choice to learn what a healthy relationship looked like, and admit that I wasn’t in one.  That hurt too.  What I thought I had was a lie.  The truth has a way of shining into the darkness and peeling away the lies I kept telling myself. Yeah, all the pretty little lies we tell ourselves – because we are afraid. And fearful. And have no friends, and no money by this point.

Lies I Told Myself While in an Abusive Relationship:

  • It will get better
  • He just had a bad day
  • He just needs a beer
  • I am really a screw-up
  • It’s all my fault
  • I wish I wasn’t so stupid
  • I should have…
  • You are lucky to have him, you could be alone
  • It’s not really that bad
  • Every husband hits his wife, right?
  • Nobody said it would be easy
  • Everybody fights like this
  • Maybe I could just jump off a bridge
  • You can’t get a divorce – God will hate you forever

 

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, get help today.  It really does not need to stay that way. As for me, I couldn’t do it alone.  I didn’t know how.  My first stop was the local YWCA and the Domestic Violence Center Advocate.  She listened as I shared my story. No judgement, no pointing fingers – she listened. And then I met a whole building full of other women who had been through the same thing.  Girl power. I was not alone. And me and the kids could be free. That was like a breath of fresh air right there!

 

 

 

learn the 8
Learn the 8 by BeautyCares

 

Featured Image Source: Tumblr

 

 

 

 

Not my Circus, Not My Monkeys

Not my circus, not my monkeys. What do I mean by that? I don’t have to play. I don’t have to answer. I don’t have to pay the admission to join another person’s craziness.  I am not the Savior. It is not my job to fix them. Now that is freedom!

If you are living in the crazy room, I invite you to take a step back. I had to reclaim responsibility for my life and my choices. I gave my power away to the enemy of my soul for too long. No more. God gave it to me – not him! I had to “own” my life. I had to come to the realization that living in abuse was harmful – for me and my children. And I had to ask for help. The local DV shelter was my haven – and I finally got 30 days of rest.

I can’t tell you how peaceful it was – even living with 10-12 other moms and their kids. I finally had room to breathe. I finally had space to just be. And I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody. I got to choose my future. Go back for more of the same, or trust God and move forward without the Abuser. Thank you Lord for helping me get out of that circus!

Feeling trapped? Call for help. You don’t have to do this alone. Ask for help. Your story isn’t over yet!

“Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or insist that he meet his responsibilities.”― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.” ― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Never let a man put his hands on you without your permission.”― Melda Beaty, Lime

“Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he’s got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen – the queen of the home she makes for their children.” ― S.M. Stirling, Dies the Fire

Domestic Violence and the Workplace

She may be sitting next to you, or in the cubicle down the hall. The quiet girl who came in late today. Tear stains ran down her creek, and she was wearing sun glasses.  Last time that happened it was because she had a black eye.  Do you approach her? What do you say? Do you just look away and mind your own business? With current statistics 1/4 women and 1/6 men are living in domestic violence. And they are trying to hold down a job to the best of their ability. It is a situation that we must approach. We can no longer afford to just ignore her. It is time for our Employers to offer assistance when someone is being stalked. It IS happening at work too!

I know for me, that was one of my ex’s favorite things to do – call me 20 times in an hour to harass me. Or suddenly stop in and make a big scene in front of my coworkers. It was so embarrassing.  I have even quit jobs just to get away from him.  My boss knew what was happening – yet did nothing.

As employers we have EAP programs (Employee Assistance Programs)  to help with drug addictions, alcohol addictions, counseling, health issues, aging parents, maternity leaves, medical leaves, etc. but my question is – where is everyone when a woman is getting stalked at work? Nobody wants to talk to her or help her escape. Nobody wants to help her form an escape plan and look for housing for her and her children.  For me, I just got reprimanded for being late, missing work, etc. Perhaps your experience was different.

Today I challenge all the companies and corporations out there. Stop ignoring the abused worker in your workplace. Let’s stop the silence. The stress they are living under is unbearable. It is affecting them and their work. They need this job, and they need some support. Help them escape instead.

Here are some alarming statistics from Employers Against Domestic Violence:

Domestic violence affects productivity and increases absenteeism:

24% of women between the ages of 18 and 65 have experienced domestic violence (EDK Associates, The Many Faces of Domestic Violence and its Impact on the Workplace, 1997).

74% of employed battered women were harassed by their partner while at work. This caused 56% of them to be late for work at least five times a month, 28% to leave early at least five days a month, and 54% to miss at least three full days of work a month.

The total health care costs of family violence are estimated in the hundreds of millions each year, much of which is paid for by the employer. 44% of executives surveyed say that that domestic violence increases their health care costs (Pennsylvania Blue Shield Institute, Social Problems and Rising Health Care Costs in Pennsylvania, pp. 3-5, 1992).

47% of senior executives polled said that domestic violence has a harmful effect on the company’s productivity (Roper Starch Worldwide Study for Liz Claiborne, Inc., 1994).

71% of EAP providers surveyed have dealt with an employee being stalked at work by a current of former partner, and 83% have assisted an employee with a restraining order.

78% of Human Resources professionals polled by Personnel Journal said that domestic violence is a workplace issue (April, 1995, page 65).

94% of Corporate Security Directors surveyed rank domestic violence as a high security problem at their company. National Safe Workplace Institute survey, as cited in “Talking Frankly About Domestic Violence,” Personnel Journal, April, 1995, page 64).

DV advocacy

 

(All images from Pinterest)

When is it Stalking?

I know I am sensitive with this issue. I have been stalked. I have had people chase me with cars, on foot, on the phone, in person, and even show up outside my glass sliding door. I have had things outside destroyed. I have had nails in my driveway, cars vandalized, broken windows, etc. I have had people sneak into my apartment. I know the terror that comes with being stalked.

However, now I am finding stalking in a new arena – online. Has this happened to you? I find myself ‘hiding’ and not wanting to come online. All because someone wouldn’t be respectful. I have had ex’s stalk my Linkedin. I have had old High School people I know nothing about try to message and contact and put something on my FaceBook page everyday. And then when I deny a friend request – they ‘friend’ my brother just so they can post on my page. Did you know that ‘friends of friends’ can see everything on your FaceBook Page? I tried to change it and it went back. I am seriously thinking of deleting the whole thing.

I have had many, many people post negative things – all on my space. I get weary sometimes of monitoring all the online stuff.  Yes, I have reached many – but with a cost.  There are haters, there are trolls – those who hunt you down just to try to pull you under the bridge. And then there are some who will not take “NO” for an answer in this ‘instant’ age.  P.S. I am not your ‘fix’. I am not your ‘drug’. I am not your ‘instant messenger’.

If you text me and I don’t answer – I am busy.

If you call me next and I don’t answer – perhaps I do not want to talk.

If you e-mail me next –  I will not answer.

So why do you send another text?

And then post something on my FaceBook page?  Post on your own page.

And then when I still do not answer why do you message me on FaceBook?

And then when I do not answer you instantly you start calling other people to bad mouth me – really?

Seriously? I didn’t answer.  I am busy, or not available, or I DO NOT want to talk right now.  I get to choose who and when I want to talk to.  Please – respect  my privacy.  Respect my boundaries.  No means No.  I have choices too – it’s not always about YOU!

And the more you do it – the less I will answer.

In my opinion that is rude – and stalking. Knock it off!