Navigating Breast Cancer: My Personal Journey – Part 1

dianarasmussen

1 week ago

Bright cosmic explosion with rays of light shining through dark clouds

I remember sitting in the Doctor’s office. My husband came along for the lab report. By this time I have had 2 mammograms, an ultrasound, and a tissue biopsy of my left breast. There was nothing on my personal MyChart of course. I think the Doctors like to tell you the bad news in person.

My Surgeon walks in, sits down and says, “I am afraid to tell you that you have Breast Cancer.” You kind of feel like your life changes forever that day, and you will never be ok, when you hear the “C” word. I instantly felt like I was falling into a black hole with darkness all around and no way out. Is there a bottom to a black hole? I don’t know.

I am a Christian and I know that this is an attack from the Enemy. God doesn’t give people cancer. Cancer is not from God. And I know that God will be with me through this journey, but truthfully, do I really have to go through this at 62? Uggghhhhh.

I worked many years in Special Education at the elementary school in town and we had the little yellow bus that would pick up the kids and take them home. The best days were field trip Fridays when we would take the kids bowling, or shopping, or out to lunch. I was happy to ride the little bus then. But not now. I felt like I was boarding the Cancer Bus with no way out. I don’t want this field trip! Get me off of the Cancer Bus Lord!

I think my husband asked the next question, “How bad is it?” The Surgeon sad he had somewhat ‘good’ news, it was Stage 0 Breast Cancer, also called DCIS. That happens when they find cancer cells inside one or more of the milk ducts. According to the National Breast Cancer Foundation “Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) is a common form of breast cancer, accounting for approximately 20-25% of all new breast cancer cases in the United States.’

My Doctor gave us 3 choices for treatment. I could have surgery to take it out, and also take out some lymph nodes under my arm to make sure it hasn’t spread. It was an outpatient procedure, I would get to come home the same day. And then the Surgeon gave me a few more choices:

Do a partial mastectomy and try to save the breast.
Do a full mastectomy of the left breast, or
Do a full mastectomy of both breasts.

It didn’t feel like I wanted any of them. I pictured myself on the game show “Let’s Make a Deal” when all they had were “zonks” behind each door! I picked door #1.

My husband asked a great question, “So if we do surgery and get it out, is it like whack-a-mole and then it comes up somewhere else?” Great question Bob. I love how he sees things sometimes. The Dr. said, “Well possibly yes. But we can deal with that if it happens again.” A very ‘doctorly’ response I think.

Joy, not. I remember calling my 4 kids trying not to lose it and stay positive. I was their Mom you know and didn’t want them to worry about me.

The surgery date came and my husband, Bob, God bless him, took me in and waited, and waited, and waited. My surgery time was set at 3 pm with nothing to eat or drink since midnight the night before. There were some complications with the person ahead of me in surgery. I don’t think they started until after 5:30. It was a very, very, very long day.

I don’t really remember going home that night. I know Bob had hot coffee waiting for me in the Jeep. I think that was the best coffee I ever had! I know I fell asleep and Bob was trying to get me up to eat something. I had like 2 bites and went to bed. That was the end of surgery #1.

I woke up the next morning, sore. Just really sore. Not so much in my beast area, but under my left arm it was terrible. They gave me pain meds and told me to take Tylenol Extra Strength and Ibuprofen on a schedule as well.

The week came and went with no results yet. But then this huge mass started growing under the stitches of my left arm. I went to to Dr. again, he called it a seroma. It was a fluid sack that commonly builds up where they take out the lymph nodes. I went back to the Doctors office and he drained it with a needle and syringe (gross!) and told me to come back if it happened again. I went back again like 5 days later for another drain dump. Thank goodness they numb up your arm first or I would have jumped off the exam table!

It was another week before I got the news of the biopsy. My Dr. called me. Again, not a good sign. Tune into “Navigating Breast Cancer: My Personal Journey – Part 2” next week to find out more…