When is it Stalking?

I know I am sensitive with this issue. I have been stalked. I have had people chase me with cars, on foot, on the phone, in person, and even show up outside my glass sliding door. I have had things outside destroyed. I have had nails in my driveway, cars vandalized, broken windows, etc. I have had people sneak into my apartment. I know the terror that comes with being stalked.

However, now I am finding stalking in a new arena – online. Has this happened to you? I find myself ‘hiding’ and not wanting to come online. All because someone wouldn’t be respectful. I have had ex’s stalk my Linkedin. I have had old High School people I know nothing about try to message and contact and put something on my FaceBook page everyday. And then when I deny a friend request – they ‘friend’ my brother just so they can post on my page. Did you know that ‘friends of friends’ can see everything on your FaceBook Page? I tried to change it and it went back. I am seriously thinking of deleting the whole thing.

I have had many, many people post negative things – all on my space. I get weary sometimes of monitoring all the online stuff.  Yes, I have reached many – but with a cost.  There are haters, there are trolls – those who hunt you down just to try to pull you under the bridge. And then there are some who will not take “NO” for an answer in this ‘instant’ age.  P.S. I am not your ‘fix’. I am not your ‘drug’. I am not your ‘instant messenger’.

If you text me and I don’t answer – I am busy.

If you call me next and I don’t answer – perhaps I do not want to talk.

If you e-mail me next –  I will not answer.

So why do you send another text?

And then post something on my FaceBook page?  Post on your own page.

And then when I still do not answer why do you message me on FaceBook?

And then when I do not answer you instantly you start calling other people to bad mouth me – really?

Seriously? I didn’t answer.  I am busy, or not available, or I DO NOT want to talk right now.  I get to choose who and when I want to talk to.  Please – respect  my privacy.  Respect my boundaries.  No means No.  I have choices too – it’s not always about YOU!

And the more you do it – the less I will answer.

In my opinion that is rude – and stalking. Knock it off!


  1. Awesome post. I totally understand how you feel. I am very seldom on FB with all the comments that are made. You made me laugh about Bob’s ex… Yes, if not laws, at least etiquette.Love you sis!!

  2. I feel your loss of privacy my friend. I’m so sorry.
    And yes, I get it. I don’t want to go on Facebook for many of those reasons.
    Sometimes we just need to have anonymity. Some space to just think or not ‘engage’ at every given moment of every given day.

    You know I love you like a sister (the one I’ve never met!!). You may want to consider disengaging on Facebook for a while. You know in your spirit when something feels like harassment. I’m not saying that the person(s) is even aware of it, but there is a spirit of harassment and you know when you are being pulled in by it.

    I’m praying for you.


    • Thanks t. That’s a great idea. I even had Bob’s ex wife start posting to my page now. Seriously? Isn’t that like against FB law or something? Thou shall not post to your ex husbands new wife’s page….

      God took care of it. Last night our modem got struck by lightning and blew up, lol! I’m on an internet free vacation!

      • Good for you! BTW: I’m heading out of town on Thursday (NYC) and will be back later Friday….if your modem should be fixed by then!

        I don’t know about FB law, but it seems to me there should be locks you could put on! That friends of friends thing can be quite imposing. I don’t know why some will not just move on with life either. Who knows? Since becoming an adult I’ve tried to live the ‘scrape your shoe and move on’ method.

        But how apropos that you recently posted the Jezebel post.

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