Wow, I really didn’t think this was going to be today’s topic.  But, there I go thinking and planning again.  I seem to be in this season of “sit down and shut up and listen”.  Ever have one of those?  We had a fellowship gathering with 3-4 other churches in our area today, it was absolutely amazing!  I have found that when God’s people gather together in unity, there is a special anointing that goes forth.  Such power in His Word, thank you Jesus!  Well there I go, down another bunny trail…maybe that’s why I’m just sitting.

forgiveness = the act or willingness to forgive another.

forgive =

1.to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3.to grant pardon to (a person).
4.to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
5.to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

So, show me Lord who or what I am holding onto too tightly.  What will I not let go of?

I have some old debts I would  love to be rid of.  You know, the kind you get when you get divorced.  Your ex says he will pay it and then doesn’t.  Years later, they hunt you down and now it’s in your name.  I made the mistake of letting my ex husband use my name to get credit  when we were married.  He had bad credit, that should have been a red flag right there!  But no, Ms. Diana was gonna save ’em, uggghhhh!

Bought him a  van in my name, got repossessed.  All the utilities in my name, got kicked out, cuz didn’t pay rent.  Can’t pay rent if you don’t go to work.  Wow, I sure did know how to pick ’em back then.  I thought I would save money and consolidated our student loans the last year we were married, another mistake. I had mine down to like $5000 after paying for years ( I went out-of-state for college, beau coup bucks), Consolidated with his $3000= $8000. Long story short, got divorced a year later, he was supposed to pay that bill, I got other ones like utilities, etc. Big surprise he didn’t pay it, at all.  Zilch, nada, no denero.  By the time I finally got a bill the total due was over $24,000.My ex went from state to state and they couldn’t find him.  He  is in trouble with the IRS now and now I get the bill.

fair- no. Did he do the right thing- no. Do I have to forgive him- yes.  What? Yep, I need to forgive him. Why? Because it is destroying my peace, it is killing my joy, and giving me a sour attitude.  Unforgiveness destroys people, I have seen it, bitter, angry people who just whine and complain about everything, alll hunched over and sick  Unforgiveness is like poison – It kills you slowly.  Day by day, after you feed it and keep talkng about it it grows and grows, stealing all peace and joy, it kinda sucks the life right out of you. I don’t want that.  Unforgiveness can destroy my health, it opens the door to depression, anxiety, despair, and all my past self-destructive behaviorS.  I really don’t want to go back to that.

God asks me to forgive because He forgave me.  Not because someone repented and did the right thing.  I think that is why it is so hard.  My forgiveness of them does not depend on them changing, or even making it right.

Instead, I choose to forgive them and let God make it right.  And then I am free of it, I put my trust in God. He is the owner of everything, and Jehovah Jirah, my provider.  He has always made a way where there is no way.  God will help me pay that bill, He always has.  Sometimes I think God waits until I let it go of something before He will deal with it and make it right for me.

thanks for listening, I guess I needed to get that out.

And, P#{%}#] I forgive you for that dumb debt.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:32