Living in Fear

Daily Prompt: Fright Night

Do you like being scared by books, films, and surprises? Describe the sensation of being scared, and why you love it — or don’t.
I do not like being afraid.  I am not a ‘ride’ girl, skip the roller coasters and stuff.  And skip the horror flicks.  I guess it comes from all the times I was terrified in my own home behind closed doors.  That’s what happens when you live in Domestic Violence.  There is a reason people call one person the “abuser” and the other the “victim”.  It is sort of like being a POW – the mind control that goes on and the fearing for your life and your children’s lives too. Here is a poem that I wrote and turned into a song.  It talks about the fear, and what it feels like to live there.

© 2013 Diana Rasmussen

An Album for Domestic Violence Awareness

An Album for Domestic Violence Awareness

 

She looks in the mirror, seems vaguely familiar

like steam on the glass, shame covers her past

the fog slithers down, as evil surrounds

His worst fantasy, her reality

*

he pulls the strings, does unspeakable things

a sadistic entrance, for his acceptance

*

Smothered by control, a tormented soul

trapped in his castle

Her tears rolling mist, proof she  exists

in snow white darkness

*

Clouds of confusion, rolled into illusion

He veils perversion, forcing her coercion

her body he takes, while she flies away

unbelieveable, she’s invisible

*

love is the shadow, that darkens her window

she’s crying for help, to escape her hell

Smothered by control, a tormented soul

trapped in his castle

Her tears rolling mist, proof she  exists

in snow white darkness

*

she hides in the fog, drinks hair of the dog

hates her behavior, craves one to save her

*

Smothered by control, a tormented soul

trapped in his castle

Her tears rolling mist, proof she  exists

in snow white darkness

isaiah 41

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About dianarasmussen

Diana Rasmussen is a Faith Builder, Worship Leader, Veteran's wife, and Customer Service Rep
This entry was posted in Daily Post, Music, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Living in Fear

  1. PookyH says:

    This is so powerful. The words “Her tears rolling mist, proof she exists” particularly stood out for me

    Like

  2. secretangel says:

    Absolutely love this. I was going to do the same thing with this topic but did not have time so I am so glad that you did it. No one who has lived in fear ever finds fear fun again no matter what the situation. Thanks for all that you do sister!!!

    Like

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  4. Beautiful Diana, always so beautiful and meaningful! Hugs and blessings my sister! God bless!

    Like

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  9. findingmyinnercourage says:

    I indeed like this song, however I am petrified to be scared. Hugs my friend.

    Like

  10. theresavesnesky says:

    I like this song. I don’t like to be scared. But I do enjoy mysteries. I like to figure out the who dunnits.
    As a survivor of PTSD, I need to ask. Do you have flashbacks of terror when you find yourself stuck in a scary movie?
    I would imagine that could trigger all sorts of needless emotions for a victim of domestic abuse.

    I can’t watch scenes in films where someone falls to their death, or a film that contains a scene of someone falling from great heights. If I don’t stop myself, my head can go into instant replay of some of the fallers I ,helplessly, watched on 09/11. These instances almost always lead to migraine headaches.

    Like

    • I understand t. I am sensitive when it comes to movies that show a woman being hurt or abused by a man. There have been times I will just change the channel because it does trigger old feelings and emotions.

      I’m not sure how to “fix” this. Guess God will have to heal those old wounds in time. I don’t like the instant panic that comes either.

      Like

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